Office Telephone Etiquette Needed

Rotary dial telephones were still new in many places in the 1930’s. Different than relying on a hand-crank or switchboard operator, the rotary dial phones needed instructions and care for their use.

Business School Sees Need for Telephone Etiquette

A new course in telephone etiquette was introduced into the curriculum of the School of Secretarial Practice of Pace Institute In New York City on January first. 

A survey made by the Institute during 1931 revealed the fact that fully one-half of the duties in high grade secretarial positions involve telephone transactions, and that employers are now giving the utmost weight to proper telephone usage.

The new course provides specific training in such subjects as placing a call, receiving a call, voice technique, out-of-town service, how to use the dial telephone, the private branch exchange, care of the telephone equipment, and practice exercises and drills.–The Calexico Chronicle, 1932

☎️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Phone Etiquette for Teens

Back in the mid-1960’s, Sally Field’s boy-crazy, surfer-girl “Gidget,” seemed to spend more time on her pink Princess phone, than she did in the ocean. If memory serves, Gidget’s phone manners could teach teens a thing or two today.

Miss Debb Gives Sound Advice to Teens in 1964 

Q. How do you handle a phone call gracefully, if a boy calls when you're entertaining another date? What if you like the guy on the phone better than the one in the living room? 

A. No matter who you like best, it’s a matter of basic dating manners not to chat on the phone when you have a guest. When the phone rings, be brief. Tell him you have a guest and can talk only a minute. 

And remember—the same principle holds if that guest is a girl friend. – Madera Tribune, 1964

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette for Telephoning

When there are several different persons using the same line, two or three of them may mistake the call for theirs, and all rush to the telephone at once. If at all stupid, or lacking in politeness, they will make it quite unpleasant for each other. - From "Practical Etiquette," 1899  

While it is fun to read retro-etiquette or vintage etiquette posts, which preceded our carrying our phones everywhere with us,  they rarely need much modification to suit today's needs.  Keep this in mind when reading. With mobile phones, or cell phones, fewer people are making actual phone calls. Texting and engagement through social media sites are far more prevalent. 

The amount of text, email and social media app data usage, surpassed the amount of voice data used in cell phone calls in less than a decade. One 40-year-old marketing consultant from Canton Massachusetts, said that she probably only spoke to someone verbally on her cell phone, once a week, when interviewed by the New York Times in 2010. To get, and keep jobs, in which conversation skills are highly valued, proper telephone manners may have to be learned, or refreshed, as the current trends continue.

Telephoning

For the benefit of those who but seldom make use of the telephone, and consequently feel more or less ill at ease when attempting to use one, and also for those who, from ignorance of the first laws of politeness, or who, from thoughtlessness, ignore them, a few hints upon the subject may not come amiss. It is after having called up “Central,” and been given the number requested, that one often stands in need of no small amount of tact and good breeding, as well as of some idea of the best method of procedure. 

When there are several different persons using the same line, two or three of them may mistake the call for theirs, and all rush to the telephone at once. If at all stupid, or lacking in politeness, they will make it quite unpleasant for each other. The one entitled to speak should politely inquire for the one for whom she has called at the telephone, also giving her own name as the one delivering the message. If this does not suffice to enlighten those who sometimes keep calling “hello,” “hello,” without waiting to learn if they are the ones desired, the one talking should again announce herself, and the name of the one to whom she wishes to speak. Then, occasionally, even while in the midst of a conversation, some one will break in with a “Hello!” “Who is it?” “What do you want?” etc., which is quite distracting. If one can gain a hearing in no other way, it is well to say: “Excuse me, I hold the line.” If this does not bring order out of chaos, one should ring off and call again.

One should be careful not to call up friends at inconvenient hours, and when one is notified by a servant, or otherwise, that someone, the name being given, is at the telephone wishing to speak with her, she should certainly be as expeditious as possible in replying; for, by holding the wire, she is inconveniencing others, as well as the one who is waiting for her. No lady needs to be warned against speaking discourteously under any circumstances to the telephone assistants at the central office. It is in these little things that one shows herself to be well-bred or not.

None, of course, but the most informal of invitations can be delivered by telephone.

Servants should be taught always to answer the telephone politely and intelligently. When answering, a servant should say whose residence it is, if asked, not by giving the family name, as “Smith,” but as “Mr. Smith,” and then, if asked who is at the instrument, she should reply, “Mrs. Smith’s cook” or “maid.”

One’s individual manners, and ordinary polite or impolite forms of address, are very noticeable when accentuated by the telephone. — From Practical Etiquette 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Early Telephone Etiquette

"Telephone etiquette prescribes that the person making a telephone call should be the one to terminate the conversation."

People are gradually being educated up to the etiquette of the telephone. When the bicycle and the automobile first made their appearances, people did not know how to receive them. They did not know what rights of way to assign to them on the public streets. But as the public became accustomed to these modern improvements in locomotion, we learned the proper way to treat them. So it will be with the telephone.

The time will come when a patron will not think of making a poor telephone girl's life miserable because she happens to make a mistake in a switch. He will treat her as politely as he would a girl who serves him in a store. In Chicago we make 600,000 switches in a day and only about 500 mistakes are made. Considering the vast number of switches that are made I think that it is marvelous that so few mistakes are made. The record is about as near perfection as man can make it. – John Sabin, quoted in the San Francisco Call, 1901

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Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and an Unruly Phone

The telephone is a most ill-mannered member of society. But who would do without it? 

The Unruly Telephone:

Some of the Pranks it Plays Both Day and Night —

It Has No Etiquette or Delicacy
 — 
Though Many Are Its Services to Mankind

It has long been noticed by careful observers that the telephone as an adjunct to civilization has done many marvelous and unlooked for things. It has shortened distance, but it has also doubtless increased profanity among mankind. By reason of the fact thai one's identity is not revealed it has led to fraud, vulgarity, flirtations, and practical joking to a larger scale than ever practiced before. 

It is said that a certain Sacramento restauranteur has had more trouble over orders that were sent in by wags—"just for fun"—than over all his other troubles combined. The same kind of a complaint comes from San Francisco and from every town of any importance in the country. "Send five oyster loaves to room 21," (such and such a street.) sounds like a business-like transaction, especially if the voice making the order over the telephone says it is the voice of a well known customer; yet just such orders have often been sent to the alleged address, only to find that the person living there was wholly innocent of giving the order, or that the place named was a vacant lot. 

The "Record-Union" is only one newspaper in hundreds that have learned through the telephone some of the characteristics, if you please, of women. As a point in illustration: During the great Corbett-Fltzsimmons prize fight, the telephones in this office rang quite often, and many of the eager voices that inquired for the result were the voices of women who would not give their names. In some instances they confessed to a morbid desire to know the result, though they said they had never attended prizefights and had no desire to see one. 

Some weeks ago a doctor, who had been very busy all day, was awakened by the ringing of his telephone. "Who is there?" he asked. "Mrs. Jones," said the voice at the other end of the line. "What is wrong?" "Oh, come up right away," said she, "for baby is very sick. He awake hoarse and is crying now." "Is he near you?" "Yes, right here by the telephone." "Hold him up and let me hear him cry." The babe was held up, the telephone was in good order, and the sleepy doctor heard the hoarse crying of the child. The telephone told the story of the labored breathing. "He has croup," said the doctor, "and it will not be necessary for me to come up. Do what I tell you and all will be well." The doctor then told the excited mother what to do and the child was saved, though the doctor lost the opportunity to charge mileage.

The telephone is a most ill-mannered member of society. On a recent occasion in this city a well-known professional man was engaged in his office on private and important business. The telephone rang and got his ear, though a dozen respectable citizens had been waiting at the outer gates for hours to see the man for just a moment. This illustrates that the telephone has no etiquette and that when it wants to see you its appeals are invincible. 

When it lends its voice to the entire public how is the patron of the noisy thing to tell whose voice it is that calls? It may be his wife, his sweetheart, his banker, or his doctor. There is no way to tell, until one hushes the intermittent ringing of its sharp bell—and then it is too late to say one is not at home. 

There are many points yet to be settled regarding the legal phases of the telephone. Men have accepted service of legal process by telephone, thousands have been interviewed by newspapers in the same way, while the courts show that breach of promise suits have been based on a proposal made over the telephone. The weird instrument plays so many tricks when wires are crossed and when atmospheric conditions are ajar that no man can swear by the card that this or that sound is the voice of friend or foe. A man is just as likely as not to ring up his bitterest enemy by mistake, or to take his friend for a stranger and refuse to grow warm in the conversation. 

In its manifold phases there is much in the telephone to attract the attention of mankind, now drawing forth the admiration and now the condemnation of those who use the talking machine either for pleasure or during the rounds of their daily cares. But who would do without it? — Sacramento Daily Union, 1898

Etiquette Enthusiast Maura J Graber is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

1920's Phone Etiquette and Use

Talking directly into the mouthpiece with lips a half inch away, will enable the one to whom you are speaking to get your message without straining to hear you. 

Phone Etiquette Advice is Given

Keenly appreciative of the value of correct telephone usage in newspaper work, the New York Sun is at present running a series of suggestions for telephone etiquette in its popular column entitled ’The Sun's Rays" for the information of readers. Forty-two items have been included to date in the series, a number of which follow: 

Telephone Etiquette 

• The old-fashioned “Hello” when answering the telephone has become obsolete through the modern usage of the name, or telephone number, to identify one's self.
• Placing the receiver on the hook gently prevents making a disagreeable noise in the other party’s ear and eliminates possible damage to the instrument.
• Telephone manners are as important for voice-to-voice courtesy, as face-to-face politeness. 
• “Guess who this is” was never good telephone manners. The modern telephone user establishes his identity immediately. 
• A courteous way to start the day right is with a sincere “Good morning.” 
• Good breeding is revealed quite as much by courteous manners over the telephone as though you were physically present. 
• Talking directly into the mouthpiece with lips a half inch away, will enable the one to whom you are speaking to get your message without straining to hear you. 
• Impatient “jiggling” of the hook to signal the operator does not flash the small lamp on the switchboard. The right and effective way is to move the hook up and down slowly. —Madera Tribune, 1928

Etiquette Enthusiast Maura J Graber is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Early Telephone Etiquette

Advantages to a residential phone listed in a 1905 advertisement, included the ability for one to call the doctor, call the police and call one's husband.

Early 20th C. Telephone Etiquette

Here’s a bit of telephone etiquette that is going the rounds: Some people haven’t sense enough to know that when they use a telephone and call up someone, good manners make it necessary for the one calling to introduce one’s self before engaging in conversation. Some ill-bred people have the vulgarity and impudence to try to compel the party called to give their name first. —Madera Mercury, 1905

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Retro Etiquette for Teens and Telephones

Dick Clark's Teen Etiquette Advice Book

Regarding fighting over the phone, from the chapter Alexander Graham Bell:

I certainly haven't looked into the situation very deeply, but one friend of mine maintains that people fight more easily on the telephone then they do in person. There's a kind of sense to his remarks, however, but I find it hard to slough off. Since what you say on the telephone is not accompanied -- for the benefit of the person listening -- with the hand motions, eye motions, or lip motions that also communicate what you're feeling, there's a big danger that you will be misunderstood. Hunch your shoulders, look dismayed, and say, "But I told you I can't go to the movies tomorrow!" And what you're actually saying is, "Much as I'd really like to be with you, I don't see any way that I can make it, and I feel worse than you do about having to refuse the date." The hunched shoulders and look of dismay are missing from the telephone impression; what your friend might receive can sound pretty much like this:  "Look, I've got other things to do, and you keep nagging me about this unimportant movie date. Get off my back!" The old adage, think before you speak, is pretty important anytime, especially when you're on the telephone. 

The old adage, think before you speak, is pretty important anytime, especially when you're on the telephone. 

My friend also says — and again I find it hard to disagree — that people are bolder on the telephone than they are in person. In one way, that's good it sure is easier to invite a gorgeous girl to the junior prom by telephone then in person. If you've been scared that she'll turn you down. But in another way, it makes for heap of trouble I think we've all been guilty, at one time or another, of telling someone off via the Alexander Graham Bell in terms that we wouldn't dare use in a face to face meeting. Is it so? Now that's something to think on while you're waiting for your next dial tone! — From Dick Clark's 1963 etiquette advice book for teens, "To Goof or Not To Goof"  

Because you can't see people's faces by telephone (at present that is, but science promises to remedy this drawback very soon) your voice and what you say are very important.

Basic Manners ~
On the Telephone

Telephones are not walkie talkies for barking orders and emergency messages. When you play or received a telephone call, it's almost like greeting a guest at the door. Because you can't see people's faces by telephone (at present that is, but science promises to remedy this drawback very soon) your voice and what you say are very important.

When you answer the phone -- Say "Hello" in a pleasant voice. Don't say "Yes?" impatiently, or -- like a junior butler --- "Jimmy Jones' residence!"

If the call is for you, say "This is Jimmy speaking"; not "This is me."

If the call is for someone else in the family, say "Just a moment, please, and I'll call him." Then don't give out with an ear splitting scream, but go find the other person and tell him he's wanted on the phone.

When you are called to the phone, start by saying "Hello," instead of "Who is it?"

When the call is for someone who isn't home, say "My mother isn't at home; may I take a message?" Never hesitate to ask for the spelling of someone's name. Say, "Will you please spell your name for me?" if you're not sure of it.

    

Science's remedy to the drawback of not being able to see people's faces over the phone ~ the videophone.

When the doorbell rings when you're talking on the phone, say "Excuse me," answer the door and --- if they are friends -- invite them in, then return to the phone and tell your caller you'll have to call him back later.

The person who places a call should be the first to say goodbye. If you find this difficult at times, try saying "I have to finish my homework now" or "I have to go now; someone else wants to use the phone." You should limit the length of your telephone calls to five or six minutes and call your friends at reasonable times: never before breakfast or after 9 p.m. unless it's an emergency. —From "Stand up, Shake hands, Say 'How Do You Do' ~ What boys need to know about today's manners" 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

In Quest of Telephone Manners for the Modern Age

The telephone is a nuisance and no one denies it, but it is a necessity also and no one denies that, either, and one of the greatest conveniences in an age of great conveniences. Some of the disagreeable features connected with it cannot be done away with but must be accepted with as much tranquility as we can master, like the terrific noise which an aëroplane makes or the trail of smoke and cinders which a railway train leaves behind. The one who is calling, for instance, cannot know that he is the tenth or eleventh person who has called the man at the other end of the wire in rapid succession, that his desk is piled high with correspondence which must be looked over, signed, and sent out before noon, that the advertising department is waiting for him to O. K. their plans for a campaign which should have been launched the week before, that an important visitor is sitting in the library growing more impatient every minute, and that his temper has been filed down to the quick by an assortment of petty worries. (Of course, no office should be run like this, but it sometimes happens in the best of them.)

Some one has said that we are all like islands shouting at each other across a sea of misunderstanding, and this was long before telephones were thought of. It is hard enough to make other people understand what we mean, even with the help of facial expression and gestures, and over the wire the difficulty is increased a hundred fold. For telephoning rests upon a delicate adjustment between human beings by means of a mechanical apparatus, and it takes clear thinking, patience, and courtesy to bring it about.– “The Book of Business Etiquette,” by Nella Henney, 1922

“There are two things that are as important to me as the bed in the bedrooms that I furnish, and they are the little tables at the head of the bed, and the lounging chairs. The little table must hold a good reading light, well shaded, for who doesn't like to read in bed? There must also be a clock, and there really should be a telephone. And the chaise-longue, or couch, as the case may be, should be both comfortable and beautiful.”

From 1913's “The House in Good Taste” by Elsie de Wolfe

"Cell phone etiquette rules are still in their infancy, or possibly 'toddler years,' even though cell phones have now been with us for three decades. It has only been in the last dozen years or so that their use has been so ubiquitous among old and young alike. One can still go by the telephone etiquette rules, camera etiquette rules, and even videotaping etiquette rules of yesteryear, as a basic guide. At the heart of those etiquette guidelines, one can see that they are still applicable in present day situations." Maura Graber, The RSVP Institute of Etiquette

Emerging Talk-Rules: The Mobile Phone

Bringing one's phone along to a party wasn't always as simple as it is today. Suddenly, almost everyone in England has a mobile phone, but because this is new, unfamiliar technology, there are no set rules of etiquette governing when, how and in what manner these phones should be used. We are having to ‘make up’ and negotiate these rules as we go along – a fascinating process to watch and, for a social scientist, very exciting, as one does not often get the opportunity to study the formation of a new set of unwritten social rules...

For example: I have found that most English people, if asked, agree that talking loudly about banal business or domestic matters on one’s mobile while on a train is rude and inconsiderate. Yet a significant minority of people still do this, and while their fellow passengers may sigh and roll their eyes, they very rarely challenge the offenders directly – as this would involve breaking other, well-established English rules and inhibitions about talking to strangers, making a scene or drawing attention to oneself. The offenders, despite much public discussion of this problem, seem oblivious to the effects of their behaviour, in the same way that people tend to pick their noses and scratch their armpits in their cars, apparently forgetting that they are not invisible.

"I have also noticed that many women now use their mobiles as ‘barrier signals’ when on their own in coffee bars and other public places, as an alternative to the traditional use of a newspaper or magazine to signal unavailability and mark personal ‘territory’." Kate Fox 

How will this apparent impasse be resolved? There are some early signs of emerging rules regarding mobile- phone use in public places, and it looks as though loud ‘I’m on a train’ conversations – or mobiles ringing in cinemas and theatres – may eventually become as unacceptable as queue jumping, but we cannot yet be certain, particularly given English inhibitions about confronting offenders. Inappropriate mobile-phone use on trains and in other public places is at least a social issue of which everyone is now aware. But there are other aspects of ‘emerging’ mobile-phone etiquette that are even more blurred and controversial.

There are, for example, as yet no agreed rules of etiquette on the use of mobile phones during business meetings. Do you switch your phone off, discreetly, before entering the meeting? Or do you take your phone out and make a big ostentatious show of switching it off, as a flattering gesture conveying the message ‘See how important you are: I am switching off my phone for you’? Then do you place your switched-off phone on the table as a reminder of your courtesy and your client’s or colleague’s status? If you keep it switched on, do you do so overtly or leave it in your briefcase? Do you take calls during the meeting? My preliminary observations indicate that lower-ranking English executives tend to be less courteous, attempting to trumpet their own importance by keeping phones on and taking calls during meetings, while high-ranking people with nothing to prove tend to be more considerate.

Then what about lunch? Is it acceptable to switch your phone back on during the business lunch? Do you need to give a reason? Apologize? Again, my initial observations and interviews suggest a similar pattern. Low- status, insecure people tend to take and even sometimes make calls during a business lunch – often apologizing and giving reasons, but in such a self-important ‘I’m so busy and indispensable’ manner that their ‘apology’ is really a disguised boast. Their higher-ranking, more secure colleagues either leave their phones switched off or, if they absolutely must keep them on for some reason, apologize in a genuine and often embarrassed, self- deprecating manner.

There are many other, much more subtle social uses of mobile phones, some of which do not even involve talking on the phone at all – such as the competitive use of the mobile phone itself as a status-signal, particularly among teenagers, but also in some cases replacing the car as a medium for macho ‘mine’s better than yours’ displays among older males, with discussions of the relative merits of different brands, networks and features taking the place of more traditional conversations about alloy wheels, nought-to-sixty, BHP, etc.

I have also noticed that many women now use their mobiles as ‘barrier signals’ when on their own in coffee bars and other public places, as an alternative to the traditional use of a newspaper or magazine to signal unavailability and mark personal ‘territory’. Even when not in use, the mobile placed on the table acts as an effective symbolic bodyguard, a protector against unwanted social contact: women will touch the phone or pick it up when a potential ‘intruder’ approaches. One woman explained: ‘You just feel safer if it’s there – just on the table, next to your hand . . . Actually it’s better than a newspaper because it’s real people – I mean, there are real people in there you could call or text if you wanted, you know? It’s sort of reassuring.’ The idea of one’s social support network of friends and family being somehow ‘inside’ the mobile phone means that even just touching or holding the phone gives a sense of being protected – and sends a signal to others that one is not alone and vulnerable.

"Most of us no longer enjoy the cosiness of a gossip over the garden fence." Kate Fox

This example provides an indication of the more important social functions of the mobile phone. I’ve written about this issue at great length elsewhere, but it is worth explaining briefly here. The mobile phone has, I believe, become the modern equivalent of the garden fence or village green. The space-age technology of mobile phones has allowed us to return to the more natural and humane communication patterns of preindustrial society, when we lived in small, stable communities, and enjoyed frequent ‘grooming talk’ with a tightly integrated social network of family and friends. 

In the fast-paced modern world, we had become severely restricted in both the quantity and quality of communication with our social network. Most of us no longer enjoy the cosiness of a gossip over the garden fence. We may not even know our neighbours’ names, and communication is often limited to a brief, slightly embarrassed nod, if that. Families and friends are scattered, and even if our relatives or friends live nearby, we are often too busy or too tired to visit. We are constantly on the move, spending much of our time commuting to and from work either among strangers on trains and buses, or alone and isolated in our cars. These factors are particularly problematic for the English, as we tend to be more reserved and socially inhibited than other cultures; we do not talk to strangers, or make friends quickly and easily.

Landline telephones allowed us to communicate, but not in the sort of frequent, easy, spontaneous, casual style that would have characterised the small communities for which we are adapted by evolution, and in which most of us lived in pre-industrial times. Mobile phones – particularly the ability to send short, frequent, cheap text messages – restore our sense of connection and community, and provide an antidote to the pressures and alienation of modern urban life. They are a kind of ‘social lifeline’ in a fragmented and isolating world.

Think about a typical, brief ‘village-green’ conversation: ‘Hi, how’re you doing?’ ‘Fine, just off to the shops – oh, how’s your Mum?’ ‘Much better, thanks’ ‘Oh, good, give her my love – see you later’. If you take most of the vowels out of the village-green conversation, and scramble the rest of the letters into ‘text-message dialect’ (HOW R U? C U L8ER), to me it sounds uncannily like a typical SMS or text exchange: not much is said – a friendly greeting, maybe a scrap of news – but a personal connection is made, people are reminded that they are not alone. Until the advent of mobile text messaging, many of us were having to live without this kind of small but psychologically and socially very important form of communication.

But this new form of communication requires a new set of unspoken rules, and the negotiations over the formation of these rules are currently causing a certain amount of tension and conflict – particularly the issue of whether mobile text is an appropriate medium for certain types of conversation. Chatting someone up, flirting by text is accepted, even encouraged, but some women complain that men use texting as a way of avoiding talking. ‘Dumping’ someone by text-message is widely regarded as cowardly and absolutely unacceptable, but this rule has not yet become firmly established enough to prevent some people from ending relationships in this manner."

From the book "Watching the English: The Hidden Rules of English Behaviour" 2004, by Kate Fox. A social anthropologist and co-director of the Social Issues Research Centre 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia