Middle Eastern Manners for Marines

Moving some laid-back Southern California Marines to the Middle East in 1990, took some much needed cross-cultural training and a crash course in Middle Eastern manners. One Marine acknowledged after the 30-minute briefing that he and his buddies were a little put off about the limited prospects for enjoying free time in Saudi Arabia, if they’re destined to go there. “The guys are asking each other, what are we going to do with ourselves? I guess build sandcastles.” 
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Desert-Bound Marines Learn ABCs of How Not to Offend

Along with their chemical weapons gear, U.S. Marines bound for the Middle East are receiving a quick etiquette course on how to avoid ugly Americanisms in a foreign land. Don’t pass the bread with your left hand. Never give the “A-OK” sign. Refrain from gawking. If introduced to an Arab man--women are out of the question--stand close to him. Very close. And don’t be startled if he takes your hand.

That was some of the advice given to 50 Marines at Camp Pendleton on Thursday--an almost humorous element of training that otherwise has focused on weapons and gas masks and acclimation to searing desert heat. But for these Marines, sitting in rapt attention in a large conference room--some taking copious notes--the advice was intended to ease the merging of cultures suddenly joined by the possibility of war.

The Marines are likely to wind up in the Persian Gulf, where the surrounding nations are known for the strict practice of Islam. This is particularly true in Saudi Arabia, where the bulk of the American troops are stationed and where religion permeates everyday life. And so it went at Camp Pendleton, with Scott giving another of his two- or three-times-daily briefings to Marines about Middle Eastern culture and etiquette.

Scott, a United Methodist minister and senior chaplain to the 1st Marine Division headquartered at Camp Pendleton, spent three years in Bahrain and traveled throughout the Middle East, making him an expert of sorts on Arab customs and culture. For the past two weeks, he’s been holding forth daily for as many as 600 Marines at a time about how they should behave off-duty as guests in Saudi Arabia.

His remarks mirrored the contents of a 40-page booklet produced by the Army and already distributed to U.S. service personnel overseas, covering such subjects as how to greet Arab men and warning that joining your forefinger and thumb and waving doesn’t mean everything’s A-OK. It’s a curse.

For his part, Scott talked of such things as Arab speaking patterns, native dress, marriage and family values, food, drink and religious practices. He said he wanted to sensitize Marines to what they may face, adding: “I’m worried about how we’ll be received. Not the short term, but how we’ll get along with them down the road, 10 years from now.”

• Never cross your legs when sitting among Arabs, warned Navy Commander, Stanley B. Scott, because exposing the underside of your shoes to your guest is an insult something akin to swearing, “Camel dung on you!”
• When Muslims set out their prayer rugs at midday in a public area, do not take pictures and do not gawk. Keep walking, but take the long way around behind them, he advised.
• If you should be invited into a Muslim’s home in that part of the world, don’t expect to see any women. They’ll be in the kitchen, strictly off limits to visitors. 
• And if you come across a Muslim woman in public, don’t even think about asking her what she’s doing tonight.
• If you compliment an Arab on his headdress, expect him to promptly offer it to you as a gift. Not only had you better accept, Scott said, but you’d better offer a reciprocal gift--your own hat.
• Don’t beckon an Arab by pointing at him palm up and curling your fingers upward. That’s how you get a dog’s attention, he said; for an Arab, turn your palm down, then curl your fingers back toward you.
• Don’t figure on sharing a bottle of wine or popping a six-pack, because the Koran, the Muslims’ holy book, has declared alcohol taboo— along with adultery, fornication, pornography and the eating of pork. 
• If invited into an Arab’s home, plan on drinking coffee or tea.
• Never pass a plate or bowl with your left hand, Scott admonished. The left hand is traditionally reserved for sanitary functions, and to use it when offering food or drink is the basest of insults.
• He advised Marines not to take boom boxes or rock ‘n’ roll cassette tapes to Saudi Arabia, and the Marine Corps already has notified families not to send any photos of nude or even semi-nude women to the men overseas— including pictures of wives and girlfriends clad in bathing suits— because Middle Eastern culture frowns on it.

Lance Corporal, Ken Johnson acknowledged after the 30-minute briefing that he and his buddies were a little put off about the prospects for enjoying free time in Saudi Arabia, if they’re destined to go there. “The guys are asking each other, what are we going to do with ourselves? I guess build sandcastles.” — By Tom Gorman, Los Angeles Times, 1990

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette... A Tale of Two Persias

Nāṣer al-Dīn Shāh, also spelled Nāṣir al-Dīn Shāh (born on July 17, 1831 in Tehrān, Persia—died on May 1, 1896, Tehrān). Qājār shah of Iran (1848–96) began his reign as a reformer, but over time became increasingly conservative, failing to understand the accelerating need for change or for a response to the pressures brought by contact with the Western nations.

Persian Civilization  

I have been much surprised to hear even well-educated Englishmen, in recent discussions on Persia, speak of the Persian Nation as if it were completely wanting in civilization and were ages behind Europe in manners, customs, and ideas. Such a false impression of the characteristics and social condition of our good friends, the neighbors of our Indian Empire, is, I think, due to ignorance, and I fear also to insular prejudice.  

Persia has not progressed as Europe has done, but Persian civilization and Persian art had reached a high degree of development when England was covered with tangled forests and its inhabitants were half-clothed savages, whose highest skill was shown in the slaughter of wild animals with the rudest of weapons. Persian civilization has not retrograded, though Persian art is certainly stifled by the introduction of cheap but inartistic articles from the commercial West.  

In Persia, a polite etiquette is as strictly observed as in any country in the world, and though, in some trifles, the manners of a Persian gentleman may appear strange and even amusing when observed in the West, it is safe to say that nothing which a Persian gentleman would likely to do when mixing in Western society would in any way shock the delicate feelings of that society. In this respect it is fortunate that the recent journeyings of the Shah and his suite were sufficiently extended to give a practical and widespread contradiction to the numerous absurd stories which had been current concerning the disagreeable peculiarities of Persian manners and customs. 

As regards habits of personal cleanliness, on which Englishmen so greatly pride themselves, it may astonish many of my readers to learn that the Persians, with considerable reason, consider themselves far superior to any Westerners in this respect. I will only mention, as an instance, that the Persian considers that to remain sitting in a small bath and to commence and complete ablutions in the same water, is far from a cleanly habit, and it is one which is never practiced in the heated baths which the native frequents with such pleasure in Persia, and which he greatly misses when traveling into the West— News From London, January, 1890 

Late 19th Century Persian Family

Persian Etiquette 

... In spite of his jewels and external splendor, the Shah-in-Shah ("King of Kings") is, according to European notions, a savage in many respects proud, willful, sensual, and arbitrary. If punctuality be "the politeness of princes," as it is said to be, the Shah would, in consequence of his utter indifference to engagements, be one of the most ill-mannered men in the world.  

He kept the parade at Potsdam, ordered by the Kaiser, waiting a couple of hours. He kept the Queen for half an hour at the railway station waiting for him. He would not go to breakfast when it was announced, at the time of invitation, but walked about in the garden, and then, seeing an arbor which pleased him, desired to have his breakfast brought there. When he sat at dinner yesterday he put his fingers in his plate and ate with them, and if he came on a piece of some dish which he did not like, he took it out of his mouth and threw it down—not on the ground, but on the Queen's (Empress') dress.  

If free from the more horrid vices attributed to Persians by travelers, he is quite without shame or scruple in his disregard of what is called mortality by Christians and good Musulmen. I came from Potsdam in the same carriage with some of his suite—very fine gentlemen as far as their lace and clothing went—but with all the frivolity and arrogance of ignorant and uneducated men. Their talk was of their own prowess and of clothes; how they could ride better than any people in the world, because they could back a horse from the desert and ride him, whereas Europeans rode only horses which were already broken in —a Prussian officer dryly remarked, "the difference is that we direct the course of our horses, and that your horses follow their own."  

They all spoke French, and the Shah-in-Shah knows it much better than he would be thought to do from his mode of speaking it, as when he is quite at his ease he can talk it pretty fluently. But he is not much at his ease with European barbarians, and it is ludicrous to see him standing alone in a crowd with a clear space round him and no one to talk to, for he balances first one leg and then on another, "like a hen on a hot griddle," and does not know what to do with them or his hands. 

When he turns his back and the spectator calmly surveys his exterior, freed from the distracting influences of his diamonds, the Shah does not present an imposing appearance. I admit that the backs of most people fail to impress one, but his Majesty's tailor has rendered his "revers" quite abnormally ridiculous by making his frock-coat with a multitude of fine plaits like those of a Highlander's kilt or of a lady of Queen Bess' time over the hips, and so all round. His face is seldom animated, and there is something incongruous in the position of his respectable gold spectacles, á le Thiers, on his aquiline nose, under a Persian cap, and over all these, diamonds.  

Before I close, and an illustration of their character, which in some respects is the same as that of their ancestors, I may mention that they told some Prussians that the campaign in 1856 was in their favor. The reason they gave was curious. "The British retired Persia—that showed they were beaten. Had they been victorious, they would have remained." "But the Shah signed a treaty granting all the British demands and apologizing for the offenses committed by his people." Yes that may be so, but it was not because we were obligated to do it."  

They made some appeals to the enormous old Colonel of Police, who is famous for the rigidity of his manners and the severity with which he guards the morals of the city, to relax his code in their favor. And were not at all successful. The Shah has, however, some reason for thinking that the high tone of the Police Director is not maintained uniformly, for he has, as I think I told you already, added to the number of his wives here, if report be true, and espoused a girl of fifteen whom he saw by accident, and immediately "proposed" to by a representation to her mother, which that good lady accepted, as there was a provision made for her daughter's future in Persia.  

There has been some trouble in teaching the Shah and his followers that women are to be treated with respect, even though they go about with their faces uncovered, and one of the most useful lessons they will carry back from Europe is that which will teach them to consider their wives their equals, and not their slaves —if they learn it. There is a great "if," for they do not at all approve of all they see here. From New York, June, 1873

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia