Etiquette… the Hostess’s Bugbear

The idea that failure to do either one thing or the other marks one as unversed in the ways of society, is ridiculous. Ease of manner is the real mark of good breeding. If one is afraid to do the natural thing, ease of manner is impossible.

ETIQUETTE has become the bugbear of the hostess. It has been written about and talked about so much that it overshadows the delight of ordinary social intercourse. “Shall I do this?” “Shall I do that?” are the constant queries of people who have hitherto been entirely happy and correct in doing the natural thing. Of course, there are certain customs of good society that we all want to be conversant with; but etiquette is another word for usage, and usage is built up on good sense and good manners.

“Should I pick up a spoon that falls from the dinner table?” asks one harassed inquirer. “Why not?” is the answer. If there are servants at hand who can do it for you, or the spoon is not perfectly clean, or it has rolled to such a position that it would cause a diversion to grope for it, one's good sense bids it lie. But if it is within easy reach and the impulse is to pick it up, then do it. The idea that failure to do either one thing or the other marks one as unversed in the ways of society, is ridiculous. Ease of manner is the real mark of good breeding. If one is afraid to do the natural thing, ease of manner is impossible.

Entertaining, of course, offers its own special problems, but the hostess' greatest asset is a sense of hospitality and enjoyment of her guests. To be surrounded with things that are beautiful and charming is the desire of most people. If our surroundings are right and we endeavor to be as natural as possible, entertaining becomes a comparatively simple matter. It is essential, however, that the surroundings be right, and a hostess’ real necessity for perfect entertaining is correct service that is, charming linen, good china, and the best and most complete silverware equipment she can afford.

It is not always possible for the girl starting housekeeping to have all the silverware she would like, neither is it always wise for her to try. There is a danger that she will be tempted to buy inferior ware and make up in quantity what she lacks in quality. Each year, however, the service should be added to; for while the world may look leniently on the shortcomings in the service of the bride, it expects the hostess of standing to entertain with dignity and distinction.— From “ Etiquette, Entertaining and Good Sense,” 1923

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Place Plate Etiquette

Service plates or place plates can easily elevate the look of one’s table. “The service plate remains upon the table until the dish is served and forms a foundation plate for both the cocktail and the soup.” – “Service plates,” “place plates” or “chargers” are now left by some hosts and hostesses, until the dessert course because it is used as a decorative part of the place setting.

A Table Nicety 

Strict regard for the niceties of table setting is an unfailing test of the clever hostess and requires continued observance of the correct laying of all the sterling appointments. An item of particular importance, is the place plate, used today in many smart homes. The etiquette of this piece of sterling need cause no worry in the heart of the inexperienced housewife. She must remember only this; at no time should the guest be left without a plate in front of him. The service plate remains upon the table until the dish is served and forms a foundation plate for both the cocktail and the soup. Like all pieces, it is removed from the left by the maid. In many homes, the place plate is returned and used for the dinner course, for which it is equally appropriate. – Calexico Chronicle, 1928

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Setting a Table in the 1920’s

In “Nancy Page” – The Pages are Entertained at an Architect’s Dinner

When Nancy and Peter returned from their southern trip they were welcomed back by the Culvers. They gave a dinner party for eight couples. Knowing that Nancy and Peter were interested in building, the centerpiece appropriately enough was a toy house. It set bravely in the midst of shrubbery made from small bitse of sponges dyed green. The place cards were small blue prints and each service plate was set on a simulated plate doily of a blue print. One doily showed the upstairs, another gave a side view, or a front elevation and so forth. The soup was served with toast sticks arranged log cabin fashion. Mrs. Culver said that the dessert should have been that popular, but dreadful, dish called “tin roof,” but she could not bring herself to spoil her dinner in that way. Of course they had chocolate chips as candy. 

She allowed eighteen inches space for each guest. This space is called a “cover.” On each cover she placed a service plate in the center and one inch from edge of table.

Mrs. Culver knew the way in which a table should be set. She allowed eighteen inches space for each guest. This space is called a “cover.” On each cover she placed a service plate in the center and one inch from edge of table. On the plate was a large dinner napkin folded in thirds and then in fifths. At the head of the forks was the bread and butter plate with bread and butter knife placed squarely across the plate. The salad fork was close to the plate on the left and the dinner fork was on outside left. The knife was at right of plate with soup spoon beyond that. Goblet was at top of knife. All sliver was exactly one inch from edge of table. This formality of setting makes for good looking tables, as Mrs. Culver knew. If you are interested in further details of table etiquette, write to Nancy Page, care of this paper, enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, asking for her leaflet on “Table Etiquette.”– By Florence LaGanke syndicated as “Nancy Page”, San Pedro News Pilot, 1929

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia