Etiquette and Candlelit Dining

Colorful, unscented candles can enhance the look of an Al Fresco dining setting, while ivory or white are best for indoor, more formal dining. — “Candlelight makes anybody look more attractive, including the gentleman himself. As with flowers, candles should be positioned so that they are not an obstacle or a safety hazard. The gentleman lights them just before serving the salad course, and he makes sure to snuff them out before leaving the table. (When snuffing out candles, he cups one hand behind the flame, to prevent hot wax from spattering across the table and onto his guest.)”

About Flowers and Candles

When a gentleman hosts a romantic dinner for two in his own home, fresh flowers and the soft glow of candles enhance his table. But the flowers need to be an asset to the table, not an obstruction. He arranges them in a low vase or bowl, so they don't prevent him from making eye contact with his guest. A gentleman shies away from overly aromatic blooms such as heavy-scented lilies, which can overpower even the strongest passion.

Candlelight makes anybody look more attractive, including the gentleman himself. As with flowers, candles should be positioned so that they are not an obstacle or a safety hazard. The gentleman lights them just before serving the salad course, and he makes sure to snuff them out before leaving the table. (When snuffing out candles, he cups one hand behind the flame, to prevent hot wax from spattering across the table and onto his guest.)

In order to make sure that his candles can be easily lit, a clever host tests them ahead of time, letting them burn for a few minutes so that some of the wax slides away from the wick.— From “A Gentleman at the Table,” John Bridges and Bryan Curtis, 2004

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Floral Etiquette for Table Setting

“The guests should be able to have direct eye contact with the person they are talking to without having to duck up and down or around the flowers.” — Gilded age patent for a table centerpiece that would allow for conversation with, and unobstructed views of those dining across the table.

Creating Floral Displays

The main rule for arranging flowers for a table is that the display should be either above or below the eye level of people conversing across the table. The guests should be able to have direct eye contact with the person they are talking to without having to duck up and down or around the flowers. When you are using glass or crystal vases, remember that it isn't just the flower heads that are on show — you'll see the stems as well, so they should be clean, neatly cut, and placed in clear water. I always try to find flowers that are in season. Forced flowers don't last, and one of the nice things about holding a party at home is that you can have the pleasure and enjoyment of the flowers during the following days. — From “Perfect Tables: Tabletop secrets, settings, and centerpieces for delicious dining,” William Yeoward

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia