Etiquette and Women's Hats

When Women Should Remove Their Hats 

It may obscure her own view! “If there is any doubt about a hat obscuring someone's view at the theater, the movies, or a meeting, a woman should remove it promptly.”

In the country, when hats are worn at all by women, they may be removed with coats if desired. It is usual at house Christenings, weddings, and funerals to treat the house, for the occasion, as if it were a house of worship and for women to keep their hats on. This, however, is not technically necessary, either for guests or for the woman of the household. 

At garden parties or garden weddings it is purely a matter of preference whether a woman, who has been shown to a cloak room first, decides to remove her hat or leave it on as an important part of her costume. 

In town at formal receptions, teas, luncheons, and meetings women guests usually keep hats on if they have worn them. However, except perhaps at the home of an elderly and very conservative woman, on such an occasion the lack of a hat would not be in any way remarked these days. 

In fact, even at formal luncheons the modern hostess often suggests that guests leave their hats with their coats, if they wish. Certainly if most of the women at such an affair are hatless, one or two women who cling to the older convention in the matter will seem inelastic, to say the least. 

Hats worn with dinner suits or dinner dresses are intended to remain in place throughout the evening and are usually tiny enough not to obstruct the view of those behind one in the theater. If there is any doubt about a hat obscuring someone's view at the theater, the movies, or a meeting, a woman should remove it promptly. If she's asked to remove it by someone having difficulty seeing beyond her, she should do it immediately with murmured apologies. – From Amy Vanderbilt's 1952 "Complete Book of Etiquette"

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Retro 1963 Etiquette Advice for Women

How to Sweeten Your Personality

Sugar sweetens the tempers of those around us and makes the most ordinary event or encounter seem very special. Spice is important too, because it keeps sugar from being too bland.

Each of us now and then needs to take stock of her special feminine attributes and make sure she is including enough "sugar and spice and all things nice." Sugar sweetens the tempers of those around us and makes the most ordinary event or encounter seem very special. Spice is important too, because it keeps sugar from being too bland. In my work "sweetening" and "flavoring" the personality receive careful attention.

Do you smooth your way with magic words?

Explore, if you already haven't, the sweet use of pet names. A pet name makes another person feel he or she has a special place in your life and thoughts. A pet name (and this goes for general ones such as "honey" and "darling") should be spoken only with sweetness and good feeling. When you are out of patience with the one you love and can't keep the snap out of your voice, address the person by name.

"Please," "Thank you," "I am sorry," "You have been most helpful," "Please forgive me" -- such magic words sweeten every encounter when spoken with warmth and sincerity. Failure to say such things at the right time results in ruffled tempers and strained relationships. Use these magic words consistently with your family, friends, and everyone you meet.

Intimacy should never be used as an excuse to be careless with little courtesies. And take note that "to turn a pretty phrase" is considered a priceless social asset. It is not, for example, incorrect to say, "You are welcome," when you are thanked, but there are more gracious expressions: "I was delighted to do it," or, "It was my pleasure," if you have done an errand for someone. Or, after being thanked for a present: "I am so glad you were pleased." If a stranger thanks you for something such as information, nod and smile.

Can you compliment others sincerely?

A pet name makes another person feel he or she has a special place in your life and thoughts.

Flattery is defined as "excessive and insincere praise." A compliment is based on the truth, but one may exaggerate to create a light touch. It is unkind and patronizing to give false praise; you would compliment a plain woman upon her charm, not upon her beauty. Your friends' warm personality, consideration, humor, aptitudes, and understanding are all worthy of recognition. You can say: "You are more fun than anyone I know." Or "You walk so gracefully." In complimenting, avoid "left-handed" remarks. Say "Oh, what a becoming hairstyle!" Not: "You've changed your hair." Or: "Your hair looks so much better since you've had it cut." A compliment ceases to be a compliment if it suggests any criticism.

From "Social Awareness ~Your guide to today's manners"
By Luella Cuming for Family Circle Publications, 1963

Women’s Banking Etiquette “Don'ts”

Who is the Bank? 

“A bank is not a building of brick, steel and concrete, with marble fixtures and metal bars with piles of money behind them. The human element is dominant there, just as in every other successful business organization.”

Banking Etiquette “Don'ts” for the Housewife of 1928

Hubby: The bank phoned me today that your account with them was over-drawn. 

Wife: That must be a mistake, as I still have a lot of checks left in my book.

That old joke's been man's standby for years. Mere man has always been of the opinion that it was absolutely impossible for a woman to keep her bank account as it should be kept. 

Without taking the side of either party in the controversy, we're listing below several banking "don'ts" for the housewife, that if strictly adhered to will enable her to keep her account absolutely correct it all times -- and eventually win the argument.

• Don't — write checks with lead pencils.
• Don't — use counter checks if you can possibly avoid it.
• Don't — ever write a check without first filling out the stub in your check book.
• Don't — fail to keep the amount of your checks totaled, also the amount of your deposits. The difference is the amount you should have in the bank.
• Don't — write checks for an amount greater than your balance. They will not be honored and will therefore cause embarrassment to you.
• Don't — fail to make deposit slips out in your own hand when making deposits to your account. Hand the teller your book and have the teller enter the amount of your deposit. This protects both you and the bank.
• Don't — ask the bank to give you the amount of your balance over the phone. This can not be done accurately for the reason their books might show one amount and a check you have given them previously, may not have been charged your account.
• Don't — fail to call for your bank statement the first of each month.
• Don't — leave either your bank or check book laying around — keep them locked up.

As soon as you get your statement, see if the amounts check with your figures and if so, you are ready to start out the new month in balance with your bank.

The officials of the bank you do business with, will gladly assist you in any way possible, in following the suggestions given above.— From The Southerner Magazine, January, 1928

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia