Mustache Etiquette and Facial Fads

“There is no worthier accomplishment for a man with a moustache than to take soup in an inoffensive manner… and by no means should the moustache be used to strain the soup.” –Cornelia Dobbs’ 1908 book, Guide to Manners

Is Clean Shaven Man Losing His Popularity? – Smooth Face Fad Growing in Disfavor Abroad —————————————————

London Women Admit That They Prefer to Be Kissed by Wearers of a Mustache — “Dear Man” With Mustache and a Tickle Popular

LONDON, July. 7.— Is woman’s admiration for the man with the clean shaven face waning? Many men and women In London say it is, and a revival of the mustache is promised. A well-known woman writer of fiction confesses to liking the mustache. She says: “To speak quite truthfully, I do not like beards; upon that point I am firm. But whether a mustache is or is not an ornament, I am not quite certain. Men in pictures and men on the stage look best with clean shaven faces and I like my hero in fiction to possess clear-cut features, a hairless chin and an unshaven lip. If he were described as plump and bearded I should detest him. But a mustached husband I could ask for half a dozen hats at a time, whereas the stern set mouth of the clean shaven one, pursed up to utter a rigid ‘No,’ before my words were fairly uttered, would, I am certain, terrorize me into meekly suggesting one.

“I asked my dearest girl friend to arbitrate upon this important question and her ready reply leads me to fancy that she favors the mustache. Says she: “‘A dear man almost kissed me once. It was in Aunt Gwendolyn's conservatory and if Aunt G. had not at that moment seen fit to whisk out of the drawing-room almost into our united arms. I should have been able to state with decision whether I prefer the kisses of the smooth lipped man, or those of one of the mustached persuasion. The brushing of this man’s mustache upon my cheek I thought distinctly pleasant; it seemed to promise something different from the ordinary experience.

‘Kipling somewhere says, or makes a young girl say: “To be kissed by a man without a mustache is like eating an egg without salt.” I think, so far as my experience has gone, that I am in agreement with this opinion. After all, you see, one does not expect a man's kiss to be just like a woman’s. Army men, I opine, owe some of the popularity they enjoy among my sex to the mustaches they wear. Who would not rather be taken out on the river by a young lieutenant than a briefless barrister, whose academic honors are too deeply written on his hairless face? The young lieutenant is a figure of romance, with all the charm and virility of the grown up, though still juvenile, cavalier, whereas the boy barrister is an absurd example, an old head on young shoulders, weighed down with responsibilities and cares.

“But when a man has left the golden age of extreme youth, then, I fancy, he looks handsomer and younger unshaven. That is because so many men wear mustuches for their health’s sake, when they are over 60, ugly, grizzled, straggly mustaches, which they declare filter the air, or keep them from catching cold (a frequent excuse for that abomination, the long beard), or do something else wise, but not picturesque; perchance conceal a weak mouth or unbeautiful teeth, or lessen the apparent measurement of an over important nose.” – Special Cable to The Herald, 1906

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Victorian Etiquette of Hair

“Hair is to the human aspect, what foliage is to the landscape.” 

Gentleman from New York City, in 1889, with fashionable beard and moustache. – “There is no worthier accomplishment for a man with a moustache than to take soup in an inoffensive manner… and by no means should the moustache be used to strain the soup.” ~ Cornelia Dobbs

The hair and beard, in one of their aspects, belong to the dress. In reference to the style of wearing them, consult the general principles of taste. A man to whom nature has given a handsome beard, deforms himself sadly by shaving—at least, that is our opinion; and on this point fashion and good taste agree. The full beard is now more common than the shaven face in all our large cities.

In the dressing of the hair there is room for the display of a great deal of taste and judgment. The style should vary with the different forms of face.

Victorian hairstyles and bonnets for women.

Lardner's “Young Ladies' Manual” has the following hints to the gentler sex. Gentlemen can modify them to suit their case:

“After a few experiments, a lady may very easily decide what mode of dressing her hair, and what head-dress renders her face most attractive.”

“Ringlets hanging about the forehead suit almost every one. On the other hand, the fashion of putting the hair smoothly, and drawing it back on either side, is becoming to few; it has a look of vanity instead of simplicity: the face must do every thing for it, which is asking too much, especially as hair, in its pure state, is the ornament intended for it by nature. Hair is to the human aspect what foliage is to the landscape.”

“Light hair is generally most becoming when curled. For a round face, the curls should be made in short, half ringlets, reaching a little below the ears. For an oval face, long and thick ringlets are suitable; but if the face be thin and sharp, the ringlets should be light, and not too long, nor too many in number.”

“When dark hair is curled, the ringlets should never fall in heavy masses upon the shoulders. Open braids are very beautiful when made of dark hair; they are also becoming to light-haired persons. A simple and graceful mode of arranging the hair is to fold the front locks behind the ears, permitting the ends to fall in a couple of ringlets on either side behind.”

“Another beautiful mode of dressing the hair, and one very appropriate in damp weather, when it will keep in curl, is to loop up the ringlets with small hair-pins on either side of the face and behind the ears, and pass a light band of braided hair over them.”

“Persons with very long, narrow heads may wear the hair knotted very low at the back of the neck. If the head be long, but not very narrow, the back hair may be drawn to one side, braided in a thick braid, and wound around the head. When the head is round, the hair should be formed in a braid in the middle of the back of the head. If the braid be made to resemble a basket, and a few curls permitted to fall from within it, the shape of the head is much improved.”–From “How To Behave: A Pocket Manual Of Republican Etiquette, And Guide To Correct Personal Habits” by Samuel R Wells, 1887

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Facial Hair Etiquette

Simion Grahame was a Scottish-born writer and courtier to James VI. He urged gentlemen to keep their beards and moustaches clean, well trimmed and tightly curled.

Simion Grahame (1570-1614) was a Scottish-born writer and courtier to James VI. One of his better known works was Anatomie of Humors, in 1609. Much of this work dwells on human emotions, melancholy, in particular, something to which Grahame himself seemed familiar. 

Interspersed with advice on conduct, manners and how to forge and maintain good relationships with others. In one chapter Grahame urged gentlemen to keep their beards and moustaches clean, well trimmed and tightly curled. — “…A man is to be commended if he be [clean] in his linings, his hair well dressed, his beard well brushed and always his upper lip well curled… For if he chance to kiss a gentlewoman, some rebellious hairs may happen to startle in her nose and make her sneeze…”


Those who did not attend to their facial hair, wrote Grahame, were slobs, not fit to socialize with:. —“[These] snotty nosed gentlemen, with their drooping moustaches covering their mouth and becoming a harbour for meldrops [mucus]… He will drink with anybody whatsoever, and after he hath washed his filthy beard in the cup… he will suck the hair so heartily with his under lip.” — Simion Grahame, The Anatomie of Humors, Edinburgh

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Soup Etiquette for Mustaches, Beards

"There is no worthier accomplishment for a man with a moustache than to take soup in an inoffensive manner… and by no means should the moustache be used to strain the soup." Cornelia Dobbs’ 1908 "Guide to Manners"

Example of a U.K. made, all silver moustache spoon, c 1880s ~ English author and poet, Rudyard Kipling once wrote of a woman who had complained that being kissed by a man who'd not wax his mustache was like "eating an egg without salt".

Throughout time, mustaches, or moustaches, if you will, have fallen in and out of fashion. In the 1800s, mustaches were worn by the most prominent of men, including several U.S. Presidents and other world leaders of the era.

Russian Tzar Nikolas II

                                                 

A few weeks before he was elected President, Lincoln received a letter from Grace Bedell, an 11-year-old girl from Westfield, New York, who urged him to grow a beard to help him get elected, to improve his appearance. In Lincoln's response of October 19, he gave no promises, but a month later allowed his beard to grow. By the time Lincoln left his Illinois home to start his inaugural journey to Washington, D.C., he wore a full beard. The trip took him by rail through New York state, stopping briefly in Westfield on February 16. Once at the train station, he called into the crowd for Grace. A small boy, mounted on a post, with his mouth and eyes both wide open, cried out, "there she is, Mr. Lincoln," pointing to a beautiful girl, with black eyes, who was blushing all over her fair face. The President left the car, and the crowd making way for him, he reached her, and gave her several hearty kisses, and amid the yells of delight from the excited crowd, he bade her good-bye. From news accounts of February 20, 1861

U.S. President Grover Cleveland

A British "Improved" Moustache Spoon, in 1879, by T.P. Lomas

Great Britain's King Edward VII

U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt

In the late 1800s and early 1900s, dining etiquette dictated that one have the correct utensils and other accoutrements at the dining table to be fashionable.  Men with food in their mustaches were not fashionable in the least, so spoons and guards were invented for them. 

Throughout time, mustaches, or moustaches, if you will, along with beards, have fallen in and out of fashion. In the 1800s, they were worn by the most prominent of men, including several U.S. Presidents and other world leaders of the era. In following "beard etiquette," don't trim your beard too closely to your face. Do not allow it to move wildly down your neck either. Find the style that suits you best by asking those who you are closest to and whose opinions you trust.
         

A beard softener patented in 1918 ~ "The beard should be carefully and frequently washed, well trimmed, and well combed, and the hair and whiskers kept scrupulously clean by the help of clean, stiff hair-brushes, and soap and warm water. The style of the beard should be adapted to the form of the face; but any affectation in the cut of the beard and whiskers is very objectionable, and augurs unmitigated vanity in the wearer. Long hair is never indulged in except by painters and fiddlers. The moustache should be worn neat, and not overlarge." From Frost's By-Laws of American Society

Though mustaches and beards have made comebacks over the years, everything for mustaches except for mustache cups, seemed to fall out of favor until the 1970s.  Still, the inventions to hold a man's mustache up while he ate or drank, and their explanations, or descriptions, never fail to amuse.

"The object of my invention is twofold this first, to provide a detachable and easily applied protector for the moustache in the shape of a tubular case, in which it may be enclosed, that's keeping the ends and tips out of the mouth while eating; second, to so construct the said protector as to render it useful when properly applied for the purpose of training the moustache in an upward direction towards the ears, thereby imparting to the face a gay and pleasant expression." Inventor, V. M. Law

Soup Etiquette

"Since I don't smoke, I decided to grow a mustache is better for the health." ~Salvador Dali

“Soup is the first course. All should accept it even if they let it remain untouched, because it is better to make a pretense of eating until the next course is served, than to sit waiting, or compel the servants to serve one before the rest. Soup should not be called for a second time. A soup-plate should never be tilted for the last spoonful.” John H. Young , “Our Deportment” 1879

“It is considered vulgar to take fish or soup twice. The reason for not being helped twice to fish or soup at a large dinner-party is, because by doing so you keep three parts of the company staring at you whilst waiting for the second course, which is spoiling, much to the annoyance of the mistress of the house. The selfish greediness, therefore, of so doing constitutes its vulgarity. At a family dinner it is of less importance, and is consequently often done.

"It will consequently be seen that the user of my adjuster may conveniently at mealtime drink tea or soup or other similar beverages without having his mustache dripping and looking very disgusting as it is very common with gentlemen burdened with excessive growth of hair on the upper lip." J.J. McCallum 

You will sip your soup as quietly as possible from the side of the spoon, and you, of course, will not commit the vulgarity of blowing in it, or trying to cool it, after it is in your mouth, by drawing in an unusual quantity of air, for by so doing you would be sure to annoy, if you did not turn the stomach of the lady or gentleman next to you. 

Be careful and do not touch either your knife or your fork until after you have finished eating your soup. Leave your spoon in your soup plate, that the servant may remove them.”Arthur Martine, from “Martine's Hand-book of Etiquette, and Guide to True Politeness” 1866

“Never blow your soup if it is too hot, but wait until it cools. Never raise your plate to your lips, but eat with your spoon.”

Cecil B. Hartley “The Gentlemen's Book of Etiquette and Manual of Politeness"

“In taking any liquid either from a spoon or drinking vessel, no noise must ever be made.” Emily Post, 1922

Reed and Barton reissued these left-handed and right-handed mustache spoons for men in the 1970s, when mustaches made a comeback.

“Push your soup spoon from the front of the bowl away from you to catch a mouthful. Bring this to your mouth and tip the soup in from the side of the spoon; don't try eating with your spoon at 90 degrees to your mouth. Don't suck or slurp. Tilt the bowl away from you in order to get the last few spoonfuls. Put your spoon down while you break off pieces of bread. Leave your spoon in the bowl, not on the side plate, when you have finished." Debrett's

The earliest U.S. patented mustache spoon ~ "The cover by covering the greater portion of the bowl what is being brought to the mouth, obviates all liability of spilling the soup, medicine, or other liquid, and furthermore, prevents the mustache, when such as worn by the person using the spoon, from coming in contact with and being soiled by the contents of the spoon, such contents being passed into the mouth through the space or opening at 'b', at the outer and or side portion of the bowl."

An 1879 Mustache "Cup and Glass" ~ "The cinema villain essentially needs a mustache so he can twiddle with it gleefully as he cooks up his next nasty plan."~ Mel Brooks

“Thick soup served in a soup dish is eaten with the soup spoon. If you want to get the last bit of it, there is no impropriety in tipping the dish away from you in order to collect it at the edge. Indeed you are paying a subtle compliment to your hostess by this demonstrating how good it is. Drink thin soups and bouillons served in cups, as you would tea or coffee, ;but if there are vegetables or noodles left in the bottom, eat them with the spoon, rather than struggle unattractively to make them slide from the cup into your mouth." Book of Common Sense Etiquette, 1962 

“The Handled Soup or Bouillon Cup. Soup or bouillon served in a handled cup or even in a small cup-size bowl (Oriental fashion) is drunk. If there are dumplings or decorative vegetables or other garnish floating on top, these may be lifted out first with the spoon before the soup is drunk. Noodles or other things which may be in the bottom of the cup are spooned up after the liquid has been drunk. How to hold cups. A handled cup is held with the index finger through the handle, the thumb just above it to support the grip, and the second finger below the handle for added security. The little finger should follow the curve of the other fingers and not be elevated affectedly. It is incorrect to cradle the cup in one's fingers if it has a handle. This is done only when the cup is of Oriental style without handles." Amy Vanderbilt

By far, the "Moustache Guard," shown above, is a personal favorite of ours ~ "To all whom it may concern: Be at known that I, Virgil A Gates, of Charleston in the County of Kanawha in the state of West Virginia, have invented a new and improved device for holding the mustache out of the way in eating or drinking, which is fully described in the following specification in which I call a 'Mustache Shield.' Every gentleman who wears a moustache must have experienced the great inconvenience it causes in eating and drinking, especially in eating soups and other kinds of food of similar consistency."

Above, an 1877 mustache cover for cups.  below, a traditional porcelain mustache cup with a sterling mustache comb.

Thanks to our contributors Demita Usher of “Social Graces and Savoir Faire,” Maura Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, and Antoinette of “Etiquette Facts”

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopedia