Etiquette and Culture in Kenya

Kenya has over 40 groups that speak their own languages and all have their own etiquette intricacies. Avoid speaking badly of either Kenya, its religions, food, education, or any of its ethnicities, as many are proud supporters and gatekeepers of these points of life and living.

Are you familiar with the 2006 movie The Devil Wears Prada? Early in the film, the character “Nigel” yells, “Gird your loins!” when he hears Miranda Priestly, editor of Runway magazine, is arriving early, sending the office into a frenzy. I really love that phrase “gird your loins!” because it means to prepare yourself mentally, emotionally and physically for what is to come.

When I arrived in Nairobi, I had to “gird my loins” it was so busy, lots of beeping, lots of people, lots of things simultaneously happening. It was early in the morning, and the place was already buzzing. This set the tone for the rest of the trip.

Kenya Cultural Expectations and Etiquette

Kenya has a very rich history and demographics. Kenya is surrounded by Tanzania, Uganda, Sudan, Ethiopia and Somalia. It has had humans living there since the Paleolithic era and in the recent 500 years has had a mixture of Persian, Arab, Portuguese, Omani, and British rule, who brought Indians for the cultivation of plantations. Today, it has over 40 groups that speak their own languages and all have their own etiquette intricacies. Avoid speaking badly of either Kenya, its religions, food, education, or any of its ethnicities, as many are proud supporters and gatekeepers of these points of life and living.

Greetings are essential in Kenya, so as not to offend. If you don’t greet and you want to build trust personally and in business, you most likely will be seen as aloof. Generally, it will be man-to-man and woman-to-woman. In a room full of people, you will have to take your time and greet each person personally. 

Respecting the elderly and greeting them when invited to a local house is essential. Those greeting the elderly need to stand up when greeting them and use both hands in the handshake, or gently hold your forearm (shaking arm) while shaking with the other person. Greetings help to avoid hugging and kissing on the cheeks when you don’t know the person.

The most common spoken language in Kenya is Swahili, but most business language will be English. Many Kenyans will appreciate the work you do in trying to speak their country's language. 

Here are a few Swahili greetings to get you started:

· Jambo or Hujambo: Hello.

· In response say: Sijambo - I am fine

· Missouri -fine or ‘missouri sana - very well

· Habari?: How are you?

· Mambo?: What's up? or How are things?

· Shikamoo: Respectful greeting for elders or authority figures.

· In response say: Marahaba

· Asante: Thank you

· Karibu: Welcome

If you want to win points, use this:

· Habari ya familia yako?: What is the news of your family?

· Bwana: Sir or Mr

· Bi: Madam or Mrs

· Mzee : Older or elderly man

· Mama: Mother or elderly woman

· Baba: Father or older man

· Dada: Sister or young female

· Kaka: Brother or young man

Dining Food and Etiquette in Kenya

Kenya is a major exporter of tea, and no doubt you would have drunk Kenyan tea from brands such as Lipton, PG Tips, Twinings, Yorkshire Tea, or Tetley. When you visit a person’s house, you will be served tea in the same manner as in India, by boiling it with milk and sugar. Spices such as cinnamon, cardamom, or ginger may be added and the tea will be served with foods such as bread, samosas or mandazi – fried bread. When invited to a local’s house, don’t be surprised if the Kenyan guests arrive 30-40 minutes late, as time is flexible. Common gifts to bring to the hosts are flowers and tea or something special from the country you are from.

Family and food are important to Kenyans. So, complimenting the cook and taking care not to waste any food is essential. Passing and eating from both hands is correct never just pass with just the left hand. Children and adults may eat separately and at times men and elderly may be served first before women in attendance. Each family will have its own ways of eating, according to tribal customs or modernizations.

Traveling Through Kenya and Safari Parks

It is essential to your safety to listen carefully to park rangers when visiting Safari Parks. I remember staying overnight at one Safari Park. We all slept in tents, sharing a toilet with other tourists. We were warned not to go wandering at night as there were leopards and lions on the prowl. I promptly zipped up my tent with my friend inside and never came out till the morning. All park rangers carry guns to protect everyone from these sorts of attacks. Always treat those who are locals, such as the Maasai people, with dignity and respect. They earn their living today from tourists and remember they are allowing us into their lives and land.

For many years, Etiquipedia contributor, Elizabeth Soos, has had a keen interest in cultural customs. With her European background and extensive travel, Soos developed an interest in the many forms of respect and cultural expectations in the countries she has visited. With her 20 years’ experience in customer service within private international companies based in Australia, and her lifetime interest in manners and research, she decided to branch out into the field of etiquette and deportment. Through her self-directed studies and by completing the Train-The-Trainer’s course offered by Emma Dupont’s School of Etiquette in London and by Guillaume Rue de Bernadac at Academie de Bernadac based in Paris and Shanghai, she founded Auersmont School of Etiquette

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

“Tenthold Tips” of Safari Etiquette

Tips for when on African safari, from 2 experts on the subject. Above, Jock & Betty Leslie-Melville, authors of the book.

6. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT SNAKES - We’ll be willing to bet quite heavily you won't even see one, let alone a scorpion. Indeed, there are very few insects and nasty reptiles about.

7. DO NOT WEAR A PITH HELMET - This is about as chic as spats and high-buttoned shoes.

8. DO NOT SHAVE IN THE TEA - A dreadful custom in East Africa is early morning tea. It is automatically brought to you at 6:30 a.m. every morning in the lodges. When one of our safariers asked on the first day of his trip about shaving facilities in tents, we told him hot water would be brought to him in the morning, but we forgot to mention that morning tea comes first. When he got his tea he shaved in it. It never occurred to him to drink it, but this is really what you are supposed to do.

9. DO NOT REFER TO AFRICANS AS “NATIVES” - Though we may refer to ourselves as natives of America or Sweden or whatever, the word in Africa has somehow fallen into disrepute and has insulting connotations. Other words to avoid are “boy,” “coloured people,” “blacks,” “negroes,” etc… (especially the etc...). The word to use, and the only word when referring to the indigenous people is “African.” This is extremely important. When hailing a servant say, “Waiter” or “Steward” or “Porter.”

10. DO NOT PHOTOGRAPH AFRICANS WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT - Some primitive Africans still believe that their soul goes into the “little black box” (camera), and the fact that you are trying to capture their image to them means you are trying  to capture their soul. Therefore, it is important our repeated warnings, one of our safariers photographed a Masai morani (warrior) who had already refused to have his picture taken, so the Masai threw his spear at the camera. Fortunately the car was in motion and nobody was injured, but our sympathies were certainly with the Masai knowing how strongly he felt. However, the sight of money can often have an extraordinary effect in dissolving the concern they feel about the capture of their souls. It is perfectly in order to bargain with them about money, and if you pay more than two shillings (twenty-eight cents) you are being taken. 

Others, and this includes Asians, have no superstitions about their soul, but just don't like being photographed for the same reason we would not like an unknown African visitor in the United States to photograph us doing our weekly shopping in the Food Fair - even for twenty-eight cents. However, many Africans love pictures of themselves and a Polaroid – From “Tenthold Tips: An amusing and informative introduction to Africa,” by Jock & Betty Leslie-Melville, 1971

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Non-Hunting Safari Etiquette

TENTHOLD HINTS: Since Emily Post never wrote a book of etiquette for Africa, we decided we had to, because visitors frequently take appalling risks with animals out of ignorance or unwittingly cause offense to people. Here, then, are a few tips on manners and behaviour.

1. DO NOT FEED THE BEARS - This will not be difficult because there aren't any. However, in no circumstances attempt to offer food to or to touch wild animals, no matter how tame they may appear to be. In the bush there is no such thing as a tame animal-some are tolerant, but they are never tame. Dust Bin Nelly and her two daughters, a famous elephant trio, are daily visitors to the Lodge at Murchison Falls. A tourist once offered one of them a bun and got away with it, but the danger is that the next tourist may be killed for not offering a bun.

2. DO NOT COMPLAIN BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN A TIGER - You won't - there are no tigers in Africa, they are all in India.

3. DO NOT ASK WHERE THE WATER BUFFALO ARE - They are all in India with the tigers. We have “Cape Buffalo” referred to as just plain “buffalo,” unless you want to be very “in,” and then you say “buff.” Other popular animal vocabulary concerns collective nouns. There is a ‘pride of Lion,’ a ‘troop of baboon,’ a ‘pack of hyena or wild dog,’ a ‘colony of ants,’ a ‘herd of elephant’ and a ‘herd of buffalo, zebra, antelopes’ and so on. (It is not a herd of birds, but a flight of duck, a gaggle of geese, a flock of starlings.) If you are uncertain, remember you can always get out of it by saying, “Look at all those giraffe,” or by employing the numerical exactitude dodge, “I saw 837 wildebeests.”

Elephants Have The Right Of Way

Betty Bruce and Jock Leslie-Manville, the handsome husband and wife team who virtually pioneered the non- hunting safari in Africa, will present “Elephants Have the Right of Way” on Thursday evening, February 4th at the Luther Burbank High School Auditorium in Sacramento. The wildlife program, illustrated with color film, is a 15 00-mile tour of the wild game country of Kenya, showing such outstanding scenes as a crocodile and hippo escort down the Nile River, the Ngorengoro Crater where, 2000 feet below, herds of zebra, wildebeest, eland and gazelle roam, includes a visit to actor William Holden’s Mt. Kenya Safari Club, as well as a visit to the historic Treetops where Elizabeth of England climbed up a Princess and in the morning climbed down a Queen. 

For Betty Bruce, her present assignment is a far cry from her native Baltimore where she attended Johns Hopkins University and was a high-fashion model. But, except for brief periods when she has to return to the United States for her highly successful-lecture tours and appearances on such TV shows as “What's My Line?”, she has called Africa her home since 1960. Her husband, on the other hand, has lived in Africa all of his life, with the exception of his schooling at Eton. The grandson of a Scottish earl, he served in the Coldstream Guards and was aide to a colonial Governor of the country of Kenya before it gained its independence. 

He was also Executive Officer of the first non-racial political party, in Kenya and speech-writer to Africa nationalist leader Ronald Ngala. Two recent assignments for the couple have been the Jack Paar safaris which they have conducted and the publication of a book, “Tenthold Hints” which is now regarded as the book of etiquette for Africa. It includes such advice as “Do not complain because you haven’t seen a tiger. You won’t - there are no tigers in Africa, they are all in India,” and “Do not wear a pith helmet - This is about as chic as spats and high-buttoned shoes.” – California Aggie, 1971

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia