Comte De Chambord’s Etiquette at Home

His table had the simplicity of a private home; but all was served on massive plate, engraved with the heraldic fleur-de-lis of the Bourbons. When dinner was announced, the Count and Countess walked out first and took the center places at the dinner-table; the visitors who were especially honored were placed on the left of the Count and the right of the Countess.  — Prince Henri, Count of Chambord (September 1820 – August 1883) was disputedly King of France from August 2 to 9, 1830 as Henry V, although he was never officially proclaimed as such. Afterwards, he was the Legitimist pretender to the throne of France from 1844 until his death in 1883.

—Public domain photo

He is said to have been more a man of science and learning than a politician or a statesman; his tastes were quiet, his habits were retired, and almost too simple for his position for those who think that Princes should not forget the old saying that Majesty without its externals is a jest, and that they must not be too much like other people. This the Comte de Chambord recognized, and in his home there was just enough of necessary etiquette to mark the Chief of the Royal line. 

His table had the simplicity of a private home; but all was served on massive plate, engraved with the heraldic fleur-de-lis of the Bourbons. When dinner was announced, the Count and Countess walked out first and took the center places at the dinner-table; the visitors who were especially honored were placed on the left of the Count and the right of the Countess. These seats of honor were differently filled at every meal, by a graceful innovation of the host, that all might enjoy the privilege in turn. No one ventured to address him, but his kindness enabled every one to have an opportunity of conversing with him. 

In the case of any visitor of note, he was honored with a private interview in the study of the Comte de Chambord, who delighted in prolonged conversation and free discussion of every topic. The interview lasted during the pleasure of the Royal host, who gave permission to retire by a significant smile and bend—motioning as if about to rise, but without actually leaving his seat. The Comte de Paris, on the contrary, lives exactly like a private individual, and waves all etiquette.He is considered to be personally devoid of all ambition, but anxious to do what might be considered his duty. —The Century, 1884

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Princess Catherine, America's 1st Princess

Prince Achille Murat's Snuff-Box — Prince Murat visited America in 1821, decided to stay and bought vast estates in Louisiana and Florida. Seen by many as rude, coarse, and untidy, due to his tobacco chewing and continual spitting, along with liberal use of “colorful” language, he married the beautiful young Catherine Gray. Catherine was wooed by Murat after first meeting at a picnic, at which he drank from her slipper. Evidently not put off by his poor manners, Catherine became the first American princess... But not a “Dollar Princess.”

A Royal International Marriage

Now that international marriages, with the nobility of foreign countries, are holding the center of the stage the story of the marriage of one of our southern girls of the long ago, when our girls were wedded for love, and not for filthy lucre, will be found interesting. It is the story of one of our girls, who had two strains of Washington blood in her veins. Catherine Willis, great grand-daughter of Corporal Fielding Lewis and his wife Betty Washington, her father Major Byrd, Charles Willis, a grandson of Catharine, aunt of President George Washington.

Catharine Willis, a marvelously beautiful young girl, married when only fourteen years old, Atchison Gray, who lived but a short time. She afterward married a nephew of the great Emporer, Napoleon Bonaparte, Achille Murat. Prince Achille Murat was the eldest son of Joachim Murat, King of Naples, formerly a field marshal of Napoleon Bonaparte, who married Caroline Bonaparte, sister of Napoleon, and who was executed after the fall of the Emperor.

They had four children, who were educated by his widow, in Austria. Her two daughters married noblemen of high rank, equal to their own, and their two sons married beautiful and notable American women.

Prince Achille Murat visited America in 1821, decided to remain here and bought vast estates in Louisiana and Florida, making Tallahassee, Florida, his home. He married there the beautiful young widow, Catharine Gray, daughter of Colonel Byrd Willis, of Willis Hall, grandniece of President George Washington. She met Prince Achille in Florida. They spent much time in their beautiful home near Tallahassee, though they made many delightful trips abroad. 

When the Indian war broke out in Florida, his fighting blood was stirred. He went to the front and was commissioned colonel. His bravery and strategy upon the field won him many laurels. He was a great student and used to devote his time to scientific research. He was proficient in seven languages, and bore a striking resemblance to his uncle, the great general and emperor. The hope of his life was to see the Bonapartes restored to power, but this was denied him. He died in 1847. 

When Louis Napoleon was made Emporer, he remembered Achille Murat's widow, whom he had once met in London. He settled an independent fortune upon her, and at his urgent request was present in Paris at a family reunion, where she was received by the Emperor with such honors as befitted her rank, and received much attention, not only as the widow of the nephew of the great Napoleon, but also as the great niece of General Washington. 

After a brief stay in France, she returned to Florida, in spite of their urgent entreaties that she should remain with them. Her deeds of charity were numerous and she was beloved by rich and poor alike. She died in 1867, and was buried beside her husband in the cemetery at Tallahassee, Florida, where handsome monuments mark their last resting places. 

On them may be found the following inscriptions:

Departed This Life April 18, 1847, 

CHARLES LOUIS NAPOLEON MURAT, 

Son of THE KING OF NAPLES and CAROLINE MURAT, Aged 47. 

This monument is dedicated by his wife, Catherine, in perpetual memory of her love. 

Sacred to the Memory of 

PRINCESS C. A. MURAT, 

Widow of 

COL. CHARLES LOUIS NAPOLEON ACHILLE MURAT and Daughter of the Late Col. Byrd Willis, of Virginia. Who departed this life in the 6th day of August, 1867, in the 64th year of her age. A kind and affectionate wife and sister, A sincere and devoted friend. None named her but to praise. None knew her but to love her. 

To his brother-in-law, Joachim Murat, Napoleon presented a gold snuff-box, bearing upon the lid a cameo likeness of the great Field Marshal Murat. He presented it to his son, Achille, who brought it with him to Florida. His widow, Catherine Willis Murat, gave it to her esteemed friend and adviser, Woodson T. White, who gave it to his son, Woodson T. White, residing in Waco, Texas, who still has it among his treasures, and through his courtesy, a picture of this interesting memento is herewith given. — The Los Angeles Herald, 1908

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette History and Monarchs

Nine European Monarchs Gathered in 1910 — Standing, L-R: King Haakon VII of Norway, King Ferdinand I of Bulgaria, King Manuel II of Portugal,Emperor Wilhelm II of Germany (King of Prussia),King George I of Greece, King Albert I of Belgium.

Seated, L-R: King Alfonso XIII of Spain, King George V of the United Kingdom, King Frederik VIII of Denmark.

How to Address a Monarch

The simple title “Madame,” reduced in practice to “Ma'am,” is, as most people know, all that serves between Queen Victoria and her court to mark the former's dignity as the ruler of a world-wide empire. Had Britain a King he would be no more than “Sire,” the old French- form of “Sir,” sacred to royalty. 

With us the term “Majesty” is only for servants and ceremonial occasions. There are few other courts where this wholesome simplicity prevails. The Emperor of Germany is “Majestat”— there is no pronoun in the title— to all and sundry, even to his family, except when in absolute privacy. 

The Emperor of Austria is “Eurer Majestat” at all times and under all circumstances, the King of Greece is “Votre Majeste” —French being the court language— and our recent visitor, the King of Sweden, is “Ers Majestat.” Their royal consorts are addressed with the same formality. 

Only, at the courts of Belgium and Italy may the sovereign be greeted as “Sire” or “Madame,” though the etiquette of the Russian court permits it when the French language is being used. When Russian is being spoken, Nicholas II is to his courtiers and officials “Czar,” employed like the Prussian “Majestat,” without a pronoun. — The London Mail, 1900

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

More Etiquette and Marie Antoinette

On fashion – It's “a desire to assert quality with the others, to show them that one is able to have the things they have. Then, too, imitation maybe prompted by a reverence for the person or persons imitated.”

“Of course, fashion is largely imitative. There are two distinct reasons for imitation in matters of dress. The first is a desire to be like everyone else, to avoid being thought strange or queer by one's fellows. The second is a desire to assert quality with the others, to show them that one is able to have the things they have. Then, too, imitation maybe prompted by a reference for the person or persons imitated.

“A story is told of the Duke Philip of Burgundy who, in 1461, suffered a severe illness during which his hair was completely shorn. More than five hundred nobles of the time sacrificed their hair that the Duke might not feel conspicuous. What was the necessity with the Duke became a fashion among the nobles.

“We are told that in 1775, the Queen, Marie Antoinette of France, adopted a chestnut brown colour for her gown. This color pleased the King and it is written that every lady in court had on a dress of that colour the following day. There has always been quick aping of the clothes and manners of the favourites.”          

Marie Antoinette's image graces a square handkerchief– There has always been quick aping of the clothes and manners of the favourites.

“Many fashions were created by law. There is, for instance, a distinct order for edict concerning the shape of pocket handkerchiefs. It is dated June 2, 1785, and was issued by Louis XVI, supposedly at the request of Marie Antoinette. Up to her time, it would appear, handkerchiefs had been of all sizes and shapes. Some had been oblong, some around, some triangular, some square. The Queen believed that if the square form only were used the handkerchief would be very much more convenient. Consequently it was decreed, that, "The length of handkerchief shall equal their width, throughout my entire kingdom." Handkerchiefs have remained square since that day, and what the edict in 1785 made the fashion then, is still the fashion with us.” —From Lillian Eichler's, “The Customs of Mankind”

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Marie Antoinette

Marie Antoinette helping the blind –“The King and Queen were patrons of the Maison Philanthropique, a society which helped the aged, blind and widows. The Queen taught her daughter Madame Royale to wait upon peasant children, to sacrifice her Christmas gifts so as to buy fuel and blankets for the destitute, and to bring baskets of food to the sick. Marie-Antoinette started a home for unwed mothers at the Royal Palace. She adopted three poor children to be raised with her own, as well overseeing the upbringing of several needy children, whose education she paid for, while caring for their families. She brought several peasant families to live on her farm at Trianon, building cottages for them. There was food for the hungry distributed every day at Versailles, at the King’s command.” 
–From MarieAntoinette.org

“Marie Antoinette is one of the most written-about women in history—and for the best writing reasons. Her story combines two unfailing narrative ingredients: a fairy tale flashing with all the diamond glint of palaces and courtiers, a horror story of human cruelty and blood. The combination is so compelling that the life of the lovely Austrian Princess who lived an infuriatingly frivolous life and died an endearingly brave death can be told and retold with remarkably little attention to the social upheaval that doomed her.” —From “Beautiful and Doomed,” Andre Castelot

All the diamond glint of palaces and courtiers – Depiction of Marie Antoinette in bed, from the 2006 film Marie Antoinette

“Her first desire was to purify the Court where licentiousness in either sex had long been the surest road to Royal favor. She began by making a regulation, that she would receive no lady who was separated from her husband; and she abolished a senseless and inexplicable rule of etiquette which had hitherto prohibited the Queen and Princesses from dining or supping in company with their husbands. Such an exclusion from the King’s table of those who were its most natural and becoming ornaments, had notoriously facilitated and augmented the disorders of the last reign; and it was obvious that its maintenance must at least have a tendency to lead to a repetition of the old irregularities. Fortunately, the King was as little inclined to approve of it as the Queen. All his tastes were domestic, and he gladly assented to her proposal to abolish the custom. 

“Throughout the reign, at all ordinary meals, at his suppers when he came in late from hunting, when he had perhaps invited some of his fellow-sportsmen to share his repast, and at State banquets, Marie Antoinette took her seat at his side, not only adding grace and liveliness to the entertainment, but effectually preventing license, and even the suspicion of scandal; and, as she desired that her household as well as her family should set an example of regularity and propriety to the nation, she exercised a careful superintendence over the behavior of those who had hitherto been among the least-considered members of the Royal establishment.” —From MarieAntoinnette.org 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia