African Wedding Customs in Vogue

“Couples usually incorporate customs from various parts of the African continent, Onuorah said. The choice of what traditions to include is up to the couple and reflects their personal styles...”
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Since the 1990’s, more African-Americans have been choosing traditional rituals and ethnic weddings, as an expression of their heritage.

African-American brides are abandoning something old, new, borrowed and blue for splashes of color, lavish detail, rich fabric and ornate embroidery.

Clothing is just part of a trend toward traditional African weddings among black couples who want to celebrate their racial pride and return to their heritage.

“We both studied black history in college and that was the deciding factor,” said Maisah Hill, a bride-to-be from Los Angeles. “We wanted to have a traditional African wedding to incorporate the things we learned about our heritage and our roots.”

“Although no one is keeping numbers, African weddings are definitely growing in popularity,” said Russell Adams, chairman of the African-American Studies Department at Howard University. “For some, it’s regarded as chic and fashionable. For others, it’s the culturally politically correct thing to do.”

Other ethnic groups in America have long reflected their heritage in their ceremonies. But there are several reasons why Western-style weddings remain the norm, said Dr. Erylene Piper-Mandy of the UC Riverside.

“There are numerous books out there— by Emily Post, Judith Martin and others— that will tell you about wedding etiquette; what you should do, what you should wear and who sits where,” said Piper-Mandy, who specializes in cultural anthropology and African-American studies.

“But for those couples who have traditional African weddings as an extension of what they believe, they will take the time to research and find alternative sources of information about their own customs.”

Piper-Mandy said African-Americans, unlike other ethnic groups, haven’t had as many traditional wedding ceremonies because few people were aware of the customs.

“The single most important reason why African-Americans have not followed their own traditional practice is because during slavery African-Americans were highly discouraged and even forbidden to practice African rituals,” she said.

The cost of a traditional African ceremony can be significantly less than a Western wedding. The primary savings is on the Victorian-style wedding gown, which can range from several hundred dollars to a few thousand dollars.

Instead of a white satin gown, flowing train and matching veil, an African-American bride might choose a four-piece gold brocade dress, draped around her body and accented with a flared head wrap. The gown can be bought or made for less than one would assume.

But as with any style of wedding, the costs can increase sharply depending on the number of guests and how elaborate the celebration. And an African wedding usually takes extensive--if not expensive--preparation.

Ancient customs varied, depending on tribal affiliation, religion and geography. Some customs were almost universal, however.

African ceremonies stressed that two families were being joined, not just two individuals. Other common customs: formally requesting permission from family elders and other relatives; pouring libations or paying respects to ancestors who have passed away; a bride price paid to her parents by the groom and lengthy celebrations and feasting after the ceremony.

Many rituals involved tasting honey and kola nuts to symbolize the sweet and bitter times; involving both families in the wedding processional, and using a drum and elaborately dressed dancers to mark the couple’s arrival or departure.

Planning a traditional African wedding is similar to a Western ceremony because the couple still may have attendants, receive gifts and even use a bridal registry service.

Most African-Americans can’t trace their family tree far enough to determine the specific tribe or ethnicity of their African forefathers, said Pat Onuorah, a Nigerian-born woman who sells authentic African attire.

Therefore, couples usually incorporate customs from various parts of the African continent, Onuorah said. The choice of what traditions to include is up to the couple and reflects their personal styles, she said.

“The important thing is not whether a particular practice comes from Nigeria or Senegal, from Zimbabwe or Egypt, but this it comes from Africa,” she said.

“That’s what shows that we recognize and appreciate our heritage.” — Published in the Los Angeles Times, 1992

Editor’s Note: The writer Lynnette Khalfani spent seven months planning her own traditional African wedding.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia