Napkin Etiquette and Usage

Its relevance is so significant, that in Buckingham Palace, when setting the table for a state dinner, an expert is dedicated to the art of the napkin, from the importance of the fabric, its washing, ironing and of course folding and placement of the napkins for the laying of the table. — Image from the book “For the Royal Table: Dining at the Palace” and was created by “The Royal Collection” in Great Britain. 

What makes a napkin? A piece of cloth (or occasionally paper), almost always square, that’s main purpose is to dab or wipe food away from our mouths while eating or drinking. 

If we have children, it seems that we continually pick up and wipe them with napkins… accidents at the table when a drink spills, or food that falls onto the table or children themselves. In other words, napkins at a dinner table are indispensable.

I believe that napkins also “speak”. I believe napkins have their own identity, as I say. It is “their language”. Their physical appearance: fabric, color, design, how we place them, where we put them… they say so much.

The napkin can be square or rectangular, depending on the time of the meal, the size of the napkin varies. If it is for cocktails, it is small and square. If it is for dinner, we use the largest sized napkin, usually in a rectangle. 

On the internet we can find a lot of different ways of how to fold them to “present” them at the table. Various shapes have come in and out of fashion over the centuries. The most important thing is our creativity and intention to achieve something nice in such an important moment as sharing a meal with our loved ones.

The napkin is the first thing we see when we sit down in a restaurant for a business lunch, a romantic dinner, or simply a nice meal with our friends. Its presentation influences in such a way that just with a napkin we can instinctively know what to expect from that meeting and meal.

Its relevance is so significant, that in Buckingham Palace, when setting the table for a state dinner, an expert is dedicated to the art of the napkin, from the importance of the fabric, its washing, ironing and of course folding and placement of the napkins for the laying of the table.

The napkin is presented on the table, almost always on top of the plate or to our left at the beginning of the fork sequence.

When we sit at the table before starting a meal we place the napkin across our laps. If during the meal we have to get up, it is best to leave it on the seat of the chair, although depending on the casualness of where we are dining, we can occasionally leave a napkin slightly crumpled on the left side of the setting until we return. When we finish eating, we will leave it on the left side of the setting, but only when the meal is finished and everyone is getting up to leave the table.

All these rules are important, so that the rest of the participants, especially the waiters and waitresses, know how to proceed.

Details as simple as those if made by our children decorating the table at home to the sophisticated tables in elegant restaurants, all leave a mark to remember.

Meet our newest contributor, Isabel. E. Martinez, who was educated in Business Management at the Universidad Católica Andrés Bello, in Caracas, Venezuela. After relocating for a few years to Miami, Florida, Isabel developed a company teaching computer skills. Among her clients were Baccardi in Bermuda, and Mavesa, Telcel (Movistar), and Heinz in Venezuela. That is when she discovered her passion for teaching. As her children became adults, she shifted her focus and dedicated her time to teach on subjects she is very passionate about; Hospitality and Table Etiquette. Throughout workshops in English and in Spanish, Isabel works with employees in the hospitality industry, and those business professionals who when interacting with customers, would like to make sure that they are the most professional representations of their companies. Especially when attending business lunches and events. She also offers youth and teen courses in etiquette, helping them to excel with integrity and pride in whatever field they desire to pursue. To learn more about Isabel, visit her website: www.learningschool2.com or @isasetiquette

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Entertaining Monarchs in Style

Entertaining foreign Monarchs can be quite costly… – “The ceilings were studded with Tudor roses, on a gold background. Chairs were smothered with cushions, and cloths of estate, of various shapes and sizes, overlaid with golden tissue and rich embroidery, hung in the state apartments. The walls were hung with the King’s tapestries, and above was a frieze with figures from Greek and Roman mythology and moulds of the King's arms. In fact, pretty much everything was covered in heraldic symbols. Wriothesley, Garter King-of-Arms, was asked to produce a book to “in picture of all the armes…bestes, fowles, devises, badges and cognisances…[of the] kinges hignes, the quenes grace [and] the French king.” These symbols would either be painted, or frequently made of moulds of leather-mache. Outside, there was also some sort of grand staircase on the exterior and, in the courtyard, the famous fountain that streamed claret, hippocras and water into silver cups.” – To read more on this, check out the website, “Tudor Times”

The idea of the Royal banquet is as old as the Monarchy itself. In 1315 a decree was issued which declared that 'feasts' were reserved purely for the Monarch. Dining in public was an important ceremony and a way of offering access to the Sovereign. Close members of the Court were given the honour of serving the King - carving his meat and pouring his wine.

Hospitality and the forming of diplomatic relations have always been among the chief obligations of the Monarch. One of the best- known diplomatic missions undertaken by an English King was that of Henry VIII to visit Francis I of France in 1520. They met near Calais, at the so-called Field of the Cloth of Gold. The monarchs vied to outdo each other in splendour. 

This depiction (above) of the event shows the temporary palaces erected for the occasion - on the far right can be seen the catering arrangements, which were as important for diplomatic relations as any other part of the visit. In the foreground is a fountain flowing with wine, designed by the French to impress their English visitors. — From “The Royal Table: Dining at the Palace,” by Kathryn Jones, 2008

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Royal Pineapple Etiquette

This magnificent work of art is part of a set of four: “A set of four silver-gilt dessert stands, each comprising a pierced dish with palmette border, supported in a pineapple leaf bracket above six scroll branches with vine leaf dishes. The stem is cast in the form of an amphora, flat chased with angels and scrolling foliage, on a spirally fluted drum, surrounded by cast figures of Bacchus and two dancing maenads. On a circular base with scroll feet and acanthus leaves.

“These stands were described in the Rundells' invoice of 1811 as '4 very superb and elegant Ornaments for the Desert consisting of Groups of figures to receive Pine apples', although at that date they were not completed. The various elements were probably assembled over the next few years - they were finally delivered to Carlton House in 1817, with the branches arriving two years later. It is likely that the figures were designed by Flaxman. The final bill for the dessert stands has not been traced but later inventories state that they cost £1538 11s 8d.

“The Grand Service is the magnificent dining service of silver gilt commissioned by George IV, when Prince of Wales, from the Royal Goldsmiths Rundell, Bridge & Rundell. The initial commission was made in 1806 and the first delivery took place in 1811.” For more on these fabulous and exceptional works, see the website for the Royal Collection Trust

Pineapples make a particularly decorative feature with their hint of the exotic. At the Palace, they have always played a large part in the dessert course. Charles II is depicted in a painting receiving a pineapple from one of his gardeners. For a time this painting was thought to represent the first pineapple grown in England, but in fact it is too early for this to be the case. The fruit must instead have come from the West Indies.

John Evelyn, who waited on the King at a banquet held for the French Ambassador in 1668, recorded in his diary that the King offered him a taste of a pineapple from his own plate. Evelyn was rather disappointed with the taste, saying 'It has a grateful acidity but tastes more of the quince or the melon. He excused its flavour, attributing it to the distance the fruit had travelled. Pineapples are represented in the silver and porcelain services created for George IV and William IV respectively.

George IV's coronation banquet, held in Westminster Hall, London, also featured pineapples. The menu of the third course of the dinner shows that the pineapple was placed directly in front of the King during the meal. The Earl of Denbigh, who waited on him, records in his description of the banquet that 'Lord Colchester was my assistant carver and cut up a pineapple weighing 11 pounds.' — From “The Royal Table: Dining at the Palace,” by Kathryn Jones, 2008

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

The Etiquette of a Palace Buffet

Traditionally the buffet was a means of impressing guests with the wealth and power of the monarch. In England the buffet has always been a purely decorative feature: although many of the items on the buffet were practical they were not intended to be used during the meal. The Venetian Ambassador to the court of Henry VIII in July 1517 wrote of a 'buffet 30 feet in length, 20 feet high, with silver vases and vases of gold, worth vast treasure, none of which was touched'.

At Buckingham Palace the Ballroom is decorated with two large buffets of silver gilt from the Grand Service. On display are pieces such as 17th-century candle sconces; huge dishes decorated with biblical or mythological scenes; monumental flasks, jeweled cups, ivory tankards, silver-gilt bowls and dishes. These lamps in the form of phoenixes were originally intended to warm plates or dishes supported on their outspread wings.

Traditionally the buffet was a means of impressing guests with the wealth and power of the Monarch. In England, the buffet has always been a purely decorative feature: although many of the items on the buffet were practical they were not intended to be used during the meal. The Venetian Ambassador to the court of Henry VIII in July 1517 wrote of a 'buffet 30 feet in length, 20 feet high, with silver vases and vases of gold, worth vast treasure, none of which was touched'.

George IV created extraordinarily lavish buffets. The Shield of Achilles — an enormous piece of silver gilt 90 cm (35 in) in diameter and cast with Apollo in his chariot riding forth from the centre was created for his coronation banquet and was prominently displayed on the buffet. The tradition was continued by later monarchs.— From “The Royal Table: Dining at the Palace,” 2008

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of British Royal Dining

Don't think about asking the Queen to “Please pass the salt.” She has her own salt dip, or salt cellar, and it is not part of the 2,000 plus silver pieces used for a State Dinner. The Queen’s is a salt dip that was made by Nicholas Clausen in 1721

If by chance there is ever an opportunity for you to go to dinner with HRH at the palace, here are a few things you may find interesting... The silver service (aka “The Grand Service”) is so large, and so complete with every type of utensil imaginable, it takes eight (yes... eight) palace employees at least three weeks to get ready for setting on the tables. Though the Grand Service is kept by the Yeoman of the Silver Pantry (that is the actual title) in a controlled atmosphere, each piece still needs to be washed, shined and polished to perfection prior to a State Dinner.

Don't think about asking the Queen to “Please pass the salt.” She has her own salt dip, or salt cellar, and it is not part of the 2,000 plus silver pieces used for  a State Dinner. The Queen's is a salt dip that was made by Nicholas Clausen in 1721.

Page from the excellent book, “For the Royal Table: Dining at the Palace”

All of this comes from a wonderful book entitled “For the Royal Table: Dining at the Palace” and was created by “The Royal Collection” in Great Britain. It includes historic menus, royal traditions, the silver, the crystal, the china... everything the royal family has used for the past 500 years. From the Royal Collection website, in 2008 announcing the publication of the book there is this... “The style of dining has changed considerably over the centuries, as can been seen from the elaborate menus and recipes from past royal banquets. At a lavish dinner given by Charles II for the Garter Knights at Windsor Castle in 1671, guests were served 145 dishes during the first course, and the catering included 16 barrels of oysters, 2,150 poultry, 1,500 crayfish, 6,000 asparagus stalks and 22 gallons of strawberries” and much more.

The book shows the finger bowls set out with the accompanying knife, fork and spoon, for the dessert or fruit course.

Menu for the Wedding Breakfast of King George VI and Queen Elizabeth in 1923

The table gets the white glove treatment.

 And the white bootie treatment too, for walking the length of the table, checking on perfection. 

Here is more from “The Royal Collection” website: “Contemporary photographs show how Royal Household staff, including chefs, footmen, pages, florists and housemaids, guarantee the highest standards of presentation at a State Banquet. The laying of the table begins two days before the dinner, and each place-setting measures exactly 45cm (18in) across. During the meal, a system of ‘traffic lights’ keeps the team of footmen and pages synchronised; a blue light communicates ‘stand by’ and an amber light signals ‘serve the food’. Each guest has six glasses (one each for red wine, white wine, water and port, and two for champagne – one for the toast and one for the pudding course). A diagram of the arrangement of the glasses guides those who are unfamiliar with the sequence of service.

From the Royal Photograph Collection is a charming series of portraits of Queen Victoria’s footmen and pages, many of whom had started in royal service under her uncle, William IV. Serving food in a royal palace presented particular challenges. Staff were instructed that ‘trays must be kept level so that there is no spilling of gravy or sauces’. At Windsor Castle every dish had to be carried up narrow stairs from the Great Kitchen to the State Apartments. The chefs always made twenty extra dishes for each course in case of a disaster. Following the devastating fire of 1992, the restoration of the Castle included a complete refitting of the kitchen quarters, adding lifts to deliver the food. Royal Household staff still prepare food in the Great Kitchen, the oldest working kitchen in England, where traditional copper pots from reign of George IV stand alongside high-tech catering equipment.” The book is a great read for anyone following the Royal Family or who is interested in history. 

This post was previously posted on the Etiquette Sleuth Blogspot in 2011 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia