Etiquette of Forks Resting in Spoons

 

A silent dining signal for the diner next to you using your utensils– From the back cover of the new book, “Yesteryear... More What Have We Here?” - A lovely formal setting for a five course meal (or possibly six course meal, if canapés and champagne are being served prior to seating one's guests), using fine china, crystal and sterling flatware in the Francis I pattern, from the beautiful collection of Lorrie Denning. Flatware is set for only four of the courses. The flatware for dessert, or any course requiring extra flatware, can be brought to the table with the course itself. The glasses set are for water, champagne, a red wine, a white wine, a port wine to go with the dessert and sherry. Sherry is traditionally served with the soup course.

Another Q&A with @Etiquipedia on Instagram 🤔

Hello, I have a question... I understand that the fork resting on the spoon is for oysters. My question is whether there is a specific spoon for that purpose, and if the spoon is there only to serve as a support for the fork and is removed along with the plate once the oysters are finished, or if it is used for the next course.

Etiquipedia’s Reply – There is an interesting history to explain this placement of the oyster fork. It confuses many people. The fork rests there only because when place settings were very wide, due to so many utensils for multi course meals, the fork could be confused as being part of the diner's setting to the right.

Originally, in the U.S., after forks became common place in the early 1800s, up to four or more forks could be found to the left of a place setting. At some point, by the Gilded Age, it was determined by those who were leaders in society, that no more than three forks should be to the left of a place setting. The first fork was then moved to the right of the place setting if there were 3 more forks at the place setting. That means that the first fork could then properly be at the left (if it is one of only 3 forks), at the right, or at right but turned and resting in the soup spoon.

That is the soup spoon. It is not an extra spoon. Its purpose is not to hold the fork, however, if it is there, one can turn a first fork inward and rest it in the spoon for the soup course, to let the person to the right know that it is not his or her fork.

So to answer your query, it is not an extra spoon. It has a purpose, it is just being utilized as a silent signal to those dining on the right hand side. – By Maura J. Graber, November, 2024 

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Oyster Forks and Oyster Spoons

Malindy may have been very familiar with oyster forks, but clearly she hadn’t heard of the ‘oyster spoons’ used in France. — Above is a pretty Limoges porcelain, floral oyster plate along with an Art Deco-style pattern, Cirta Strie, Christofle oyster spoon. Oyster spoons are rare in the United States. The spoons all feature a notched bowl. Some spoons are notched on the left side of the spoon bowl. Others are notched at the tip of the spoon bowl. The notch is helpful for easily and gracefully dislodging the bivalve mollusk from its shell. A notch at the top tip of the bowl is especially helpful when one’s guest is left- handed.

Eating Oysters

Long, long ago, in the pre-world-war era there was a brisk and efficient old lady who had a tobacco farm in Kentucky and a residence on top of a high hill on the same. In her bailiwick she ran things with a high hand, but her hospitality was famous and much sought. In the early years of our marriage my husband and I were often guests there. We’ll call her ‘Malindy.’ It wasn’t her name but it should have been. 

Malindy liked people, but she also liked her linen and her furniture and, especially, she liked good table manners. On a certain Thanksgiving day she served raw oysters to be followed by oyster soup, with trimmings. At that time and place, oysters in any form were hard to secure and the guests were delighted to have them. But, woe betide, one guest was not posted on the etiquette of oyster eating. He began on the raw ones with his soup spoon, but it was not a great success and presently he was chasing oysters round his plate with the spoon and getting nowhere.

I was sitting where I could see Malindy’s face and I was conscious that something was brewing. She fixed the offender with her great piercing eyes, her lips a straight red line in her gray old face and presently she asked: “Mr. Watson, didn’t the maid give you a fork?” With the question, a vast silver fork was catapulted across the table to the side of the embarrassed Watson who stammered: “W-h-a-a—oh yes. Of course. It’s here.” “Then use it, man. use it. Raw oysters were never meant to be eaten with a spoon.” 

We looked at the guest; we looked at the hostess and then everybody, including Watson, burst into friendly laughter. But I’ll bet a ginger cake against anything you like, that Watson never again ate raw oysters with a spoon. And I’m sure he didn’t mind very much. The element of humor saved the day. — From “The Log of Life,” by Estelle Lawton Lindsey, 1942

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Dinner Etiquette of 1888

A set of oyster forks in the Delmonico pattern, named for the famed Gilded Age restaurant — At each place or cover are arranged the soup spoon, two knives and two forks, a third fork being added if the dinner is to begin with small shell-fish. For the exact arrangement of these articles there is no immutable rule, but the most generally satisfactory disposal is effected by placing the knives at the right and the forks and spoon at the left, the oyster fork being placed parallel with the other forks or at an angle, with its prongs resting upon the handles of the others. 

At each place or cover are arranged the soup spoon, two knives and two forks, a third fork being added if the dinner is to begin with small shell-fish. For the exact arrangement of these articles there is no immutable rule, but the most generally satisfactory disposal is effected by placing the knives at the right and the forks and spoon at the left, the oyster fork being placed parallel with the other forks or at an angle, with its prongs resting upon the handles of the others.

There are many who still adhere to the practice of having this fork placed at the right; there is really no objection to its being placed at the right side, but its position at the left is quite in keeping with the dainty fashion of carrying oysters to the mouth with the fork in the left hand and the prongs turning downward. When the fork is placed at the left hand, the soup spoon may be placed at the right. The handles of spoons, forks and knives are placed a short distance from the edge of the table.

A dinner plate, upon which the oyster plate is at the last moment to be placed, is set directly in the centre between the knives and forks, and the dinner napkin, which is folded square and flatly or pyramidally, with the dinner roll or thick piece of bread beneath one corner, is placed beside the forks and well towards their tops. If the bivalves are omitted, the napkin is placed directly in the centre of the space.

The water goblets or glasses are placed at the right, exactly in line and about seven inches from the margin of the table; the wine glasses are grouped about them, but if several varieties are to be served the glasses for those which come latest are placed upon the side-board until needed. Too many glasses at one's hand are not convenient, and then some of the glasses in vogue for sherry and Madeira are so delicate that they shiver easily.

A small salt-cellar of china, glass, or silver is placed be fore each plate, and carafes or pretty little glass pitchers of iced water, and also such ornamental dishes as contrib ute to the beauty of the ensemble, are placed upon the table before dinner is announced.

Olives and similar relishes in low dishes are not out of place; but sharp sauces are placed in their bottles upon the side-board, to be offered when needed, and so are cheeses, which while often ornamental, are not agreeable to the senses of some people. Such varieties of decanted wines as do not require icing may be placed upon the table, because the handsome flagons provided for them are among the most beautifying of table ornaments. Bon-bons and fruit are placed when the centre decora tions of the table are perfected, as they are among the most effective features. All the spoons except those to be used for the soup, the extra knives, forks, sauce ladles, fish knife and fork, all the dinner plates that will be needed, extra tumblers and wine glasses, and cruets, etc., containing oil and vinegar, are all upon the side board. 

The silver should be handsomely arrayed in uniform rows and the glasses disposed to give a pretty effect. Upon this board may also be displayed as much extra plate and china as the pride of hereditary or ac quired possession requires for its gratification. There is no objection to displaying such possessions in their proper place, and where, if not on table and side-board, have such things a place? Upon another side-board may be placed the glass dessert service and finger-bowls, and also the coffee set. and Madeira are so delicate that they shiver easily.

A small salt-cellar of china, glass, or silver is placed be fore each plate, and carafes or pretty little glass pitchers of iced water, and also such ornamental dishes as contribute to the beauty of the ensemble, are placed upon the table before dinner is announced.

Olives and similar relishes in low dishes are not out of place; but sharp sauces are placed in their bottles upon the side-board, to be offered when needed, and so are cheeses, which while often ornamental, are not agreeable to the senses of some people. Such varieties of decanted wines as do not require icing may be placed upon the table, because the handsome flagons provided for them are among the most beautifying of table ornaments. Bon-bons and fruit are placed when the centre decorations of the table are perfected, as they are among the most effective features.

All the spoons except those to be used for the soup, the extra knives, forks, sauce ladles, fish knife and fork, all the dinner plates that will be needed, extra tumblers and wine glasses, and cruets, etc., containing oil and vinegar, are all upon the side board. The silver should be handsomely arrayed in uniform rows and the glasses disposed to give a pretty effect. Upon this board may also be displayed as much extra plate and china as the pride of hereditary or acquired possession requires for its gratification.

There is no objection to displaying such possessions in their proper place, and where, if not on table and side-board, have such things a place? Upon another side-board may be placed the glass dessert service and finger-bowls, and also the coffee set.— Eliza M. Lavin, 1888

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Proper Oyster Fork Placement

 … or Cocktail Fork Placement 

A Gilded Age, 6 course, formal place setting, set for oysters as the first course.

As “What Have We Here?” at 162 pages, is 4 times longer than “Reaching for the Right Fork,” I could not use every photograph I took for the book. It would be too long. I will therefore be occasionally adding some of the photos which were ultimately unused to my blog posts. 

Here is one photo above, showing a Gilded Age formal place setting, set for a first course of oysters. Oyster forks, or any cocktail forks, can be properly placed in 3 different ways:

1. As the first of 3 forks to the left of a setting.
2. At the far right of a place setting, laying flat on the table next to the soup spoon or first knife, whichever utensil to be used afterward.
3. Or resting at an angle, with the small tines resting in the bowl of the soup spoon. 

In the setting above, the oyster fork rests at an angle in the soup spoon, or the 3rd option. This positioning was to help those dining at crowded Gilded Age tables deal with an ever-growing list of specialty utensils at each place setting. The fork on the far left of one setting could be mistaken for the first fork expected for many foods for the diner on the right. 

At the same time, the decision had just recently been made by the arbiters of good taste during that time period in the U.S., to no longer allow four forks on the left, but to limit them to three. Those not up to snuff on the most recent etiquette rules, whether hosting a dinner or as a guest at one, could be confused. Laying it at an angle with the tines resting in one’s soup spoon bowl, alerted that guest that the fork belonged to him or her and not the place setting to the right.

This below is a page from the book, “What Have We Here?”: The Etiquette and Essentials of Lives Once Lived, from the Georgian Era through the Gilded Age and Beyond...

Contributor Maura Graber has been teaching etiquette to children, teens and adults, and training new etiquette instructors, for over 30 years now, as founder and director of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette.  She is also a writer, has been featured in countless newspapers, magazines and television shows and was an on-air contributor to PBS in Southern California for 15 years. Her books, “Reaching for the Right Fork” and “What Have We Here?” are both available on Amazon

 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia