Etiquette from the 14th Century

Only squirrels hoard nuts… diners should not take more than a few when they are served at a dinner – “only… take two or three nuts when nuts are on the table.”

Ancient Table Etiquette

Some of the ancient table directions are very quaint. You are told, for instance, not to eat much cheese, not to leave your spoon on your platter, not to play with your knife or roll your napkin into a cord or tie it into knots, only to take two or three nuts when nuts are on the table, and not to get intoxicated during dinner time. The “Boke of Curtasye” also warns people not to play with the cats and dogs while at table.—Correspondent for Chicago Herald, 1892

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Breaking Bread

The root word for the word “companion” is “company” and in Old Latin it means to “Break bread with one another”. When you have company over, do you usually offer them something to eat? Do you want them to feel good about visiting with you? The next time you are with company, make sure to break your bread

One does not bite into a whole slice of bread or whole roll. The well-bred man or woman breaks off a small piece to eat. This tradition of breaking bread into bite sized pieces, was not made by European royalty or Imperial rulers.

Breakng one's bread goes back to the time of the Old Testament, when the custom was for leftovers at the dining table to be collected after the meal and given to the poor. In consideration for those who would receive the leftovers, one broke off only what piece he would eat from the bread. Thus, some surmised, came the expression, breaking bread together. In actuality, the root word for the word “companion” is “company” and in Old Latin it means to “Break bread with one another”.

The charitable practice was continued in monasteries of early medieval times and from there, found its way into the grandest of castles and simplest of households. The 15th-century Boke of Curtasye, gave this explanation:

“Bite not thy bread and lay it down,

This is not courtesy to use in town;

But break as much as you will eat

The remnant to the poor you shall lete [leave].“ 

What originally brought the rule into existence was charity, a courtesy to those who would take and use the bread that remained after the meal was finished. The bread was leftover, but untouched by the lips of others, and that courtesy still justifies the existence of such a rule today. — Contributed by Demita Usher, aka “Charm School Betty”

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

14th C. Boke of Curtasye Etiquette

King Edward I of England, 1272-1307 AD. Known also as "Edward Longshanks," due to his great height and stature, was perhaps the most successful of the medieval monarchs. The first twenty years of his reign marked a high point of cooperation between crown and community in England, though his campaigns and efforts to capture territory in Wales, Scotland, Ireland, etc... "aroused in the Scots a hatred of England that would endure for generations." http://www.britannia.com/history/monarchs/mon30.html

From "The Boke of Curtasye" 

On reaching a Lord’s gate, give the Porter your weapon, and ask leave to go in. If the master is of low degree, he will come to you: if of high, the Porter will take you to him. At the Hall-door, take off your hood and gloves, greet the Steward, etc.., at the dais, bow to the Gentlemen on each side of the hall both right and left; notice the yeomen, then stand before the screen till the Marshal or Usher leads you to the table. 

Be sedate and courteous if you are set with the gentlemen.  

Cut your loaf in two, the top from the bottom; cut the top crust in, and the bottom in  cut the top crust in, and the bottom in.  

Put your trencher before you, and don’t eat or drink till your Mess is brought from the kitchen, lest you be thought starved or a glutton.  

Have your nails clean.  

Don’t bite your bread, but break it.  

Don’t quarrel at table, or make grimaces. 

Don’t cram your cheeks out with food like an ape, for if any one should speak to you, you can’t answer, but must wait. 

Don’t eat on both sides of your mouth. 

Don’t laugh with your mouth full, or sup up your potage noisily. 

Don’t leave your spoon in the dish or on its side, but clean your spoon. 

Let no dirt off your fingers soil the cloth. 

Don’t put into the dish bread that you have once bitten. 

Dry your mouth before you drink. 

Don’t call for a dish once removed, or spit on the table: that’s rude. 

Don’t scratch your dog. 

If you blow your nose, clean your hand; wipe it with your skirt or put it through your tippet. 

Don’t pick your teeth at meals, or drink with food in your mouth, as you may get choked, or killed, by its stopping your wind. 

Tell no tale to harm or shame your companions. 

Don’t stroke the cat or dog. 

Don’t dirty the table cloth with your knife. 

Don’t blow on your food, or put your knife in your mouth, or wipe your teeth or eyes with the table cloth. 

If you sit by a good man, don’t put your knee under his thigh. 

Don’t hand your cup to any one with your back towards him. 

Don’t lean on your elbow, or dip your thumb into your drink, or your food into the salt cellar: That is a vice. 

Don’t spit in the basin you wash in or loosely (?) before a man of God. 

If you go to school you shall learn: 

1. Cross of Christ,
2. Pater Noster, 
3. Hail Mary and the Creed, 
4. In the name of the Trinity, 
5. of the Apostles, 
6. the Confession.  

Seek the kingdom of God, and worship Him.  At church, take holy water; pray for all Christian companions; kneel to God on both knees, to man only on one. At the Altar, serve the priest with both hands. Speak gently to your father and mother, and honour them. Do to others as you would they should do to you. Don’t be foolishly meek. The seed of the righteous shall never beg or be shamed. Be ready forgive, and fond of peace. If you cannot give an asker goods, give him good words. Be willing to help every one. Give your partner his fair share. Go on the pilgrimages (?) you vow to saints, lest God take vengeance on you. Don’t believe all who speak fair: the Serpent spoke fair words (to Eve). Be cautious with your words, except when angry. Don’t lie, but keep your word. Don’t laugh too often, or you’ll be called a shrew or a fool.   

Man’s 3 enemies are: the Devil, the Flesh, and the World. Destroy these, and be sure of heaven. Don’t strive with your lord, or bet or play with him. In a strange place don’t be too inquisitive or fussy. If a man falls, don’t laugh, but help him up: your own head may fall to your feet. At the Mass, if the priest doesn’t please you, don’t blame him. Don’t tell your secrets to a shrew. Don’t beckon, point, or whisper. When you meet a man, greet him, or answer him cheerily if he greets you: don’t be dumb, lest men say you have men say you have no mouth. Never speak improperly of women, for we and our fathers were all born of women.  

A wife should honour and obey her husband, and serve him.  

Try to reconcile brothers if they quarrel.  

At a gate, let your equal precede you; go behind your superior and your master unless he bids you go beside him. 

On a pilgrimage don’t be third man: 3 oxen can’t draw a plough. 

Don’t drink all that’s in a cup offered you; take a little. 

If you sleep with any man, ask what part of the bed he likes, and lie far from him. 

If you journey with any man, find out his name, who he is, where he is going. 

With friars on a pilgrimage, do as they do. 

Don’t put up at a red (haired and faced) man or woman’s house. 

Answer opponents meekly, but don’t tell lies. 

Before your lord at table, keep your hands, feet, and fingers still. 

Don’t stare about, or at the wall, or lean against the post. 

Don’t pick your nose, scratch your arm, or stoop your head. 

Listen when you’re spoken to. 

Never harm child or beast with evil eye.

Don’t blush when you’re chaffed, or you’ll be accused of mischief. 

Don’t make faces.

Wash before eating. 

Sit where the host tells you; avoid the highest place unless you’re told to take it.

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia