Spotlight on Amy Willcock

 Meet Amy Willcock, Cooking, Entertaining and Etiquette Authority, Writer, Hotelier, Creator of Award Winning Tablescapes, Etiquipedia Contributor and in our Contributor Spotlight for the Month of March 2026.

Amy Willcock is a successful writer of nine cookery and entertainment books. Born in Chicago, she moved to the UK in 1980. Specialising in country living and game recipes, Amy wrote a regular monthly column for The Shooting Gazette for over 19 years writing about food, country lifestyle and gundogs. During the Covid lockdown in Spring 2020, Amy started a new venture, KBO Cakes. The only way she could “send a slice of home” to her children serving in the forces and at university, was to send them a cake. “Nothing says ‘I’m thinking about you’ more than a homemade cake. Everyone needs a little morale booster every now and then.” says Amy.

Amy was previously in the hotel business - one of which, The George on the Isle of Wight, had a Michelin starred restaurant. Amy held Lifestyle, Cookery and Aga Workshops teaching people to cook, arrange flowers and set beautiful tables along with how to run a house. Her lifestyle and Aga workshops have been described as ‘finishing schools for people in their 30’s’ and Nigella Lawson wrote in Vogue, “Amy Willcock, hand holder to Aga owners everywhere.” 

Amy is a founder member of Yarmouth Women’s Institute, the subject of a BBC 4 documentary, and is a WI Cookery and Preserves judge. Amy has appeared on Market Kitchen, Kirstie’s Homemade Home, Celebrity Masterchef, and judged the perfect Sunday Lunch with John Torode and Gregg Wallace on Masterchef and is a regular Food and Lifestyle contributor to local radio. Amy lives in Yorkshire where she manages Warter Priory Shoot office, trains her gun dogs, endlessly entertaining friends and family.

Her lifestyle and Aga workshops have been described as ‘finishing schools for people in their 30’s’ and Nigella Lawson wrote in Vogue, “Amy Willcock, hand holder to Aga owners everywhere”.

Below are links to a few of Amy Willcock’s articles on etiquette and articles on her table settings you’ll find on Etiquipedia:

• Cheese Course History
• Cheese Course Etiquette
• A Parody of Manners
• Georgian and Regency Era Dining
• An Interview with Amy Willcock – on her first award winning place setting 

“Nothing says ‘I’m thinking about you’ more than a homemade cake. Everyone needs a little morale booster every now and then.” says Amy.

What was the impetus or pathway for starting a career or lifestyle involving Etiquette?
About 35 years ago I started to run cookery and lifestyle workshops in our hotel in South Wales to show people how to create and cook a menu for a three coursedinner or lunch with hints, tips and ideas to make entertaining as easy as possible and always ended the workshop with a tablesetting, at that time no one in the UK was talking about tablesettings. My catering background was very different from most Home Economists who ran cooking dems. I gave really useful “get ahead” information learned from hotel kitchens.Throughout my dems I would drop in interesting bon mots about entertaining in the past and how things came down from history and found their way onto our dining tables. A few years later we moved to the Isle of Wight opening another hotel, the George in Yarmouth. We were doing a lot of work on our house and installing a new Aga, I contacted Aga to go to an Aga dem but there weren’t any in my area as they didn’t have anyone to do the dems. I offered them my services, I went toAga who trained me and hey presto I added Aga demos to my repertoire. Word went around and I was contacted by Ebury Press to write an Aga cookbook and one book eventually became nine. 

I am passionate about old silver and love to find new uses for things, such as old silver napkin rings, you can use them for napkins but they also make super little individual tea lights when put on an old mirror. I find it really rewarding helping people become confident hosts and hostesses.

What (or who) do you find the most enjoyable with regard to Etiquette and your work? 
I am passionate about old silver and love to find new uses for things, such as old silver napkin rings, you can use them for napkins but they also make super little individual tea lights when put on an old mirror. I find it really rewarding helping people become confident hosts and hostesses. Etiquette was invented to make people feel comfortable, the difference between American and English table manners is as wide as the ocean that divides us! With good manners you can dine with duchesses and dustmen alike, and good manners puts everyone at their ease. As long as you are considerate to others you will be welcome whether you use the right fork or not! My favourite book and I have many, is a slim volume by Constance Spry called Hostess. Her advice is priceless and is as relevant now as it was when printed in the 1960’s.

Amy was our Best in Show Winner for our Etiquipedia International Place Setting Competition in 2023 after having won in 2022!

What do you find the most rewarding aspect of your career regarding Etiquette?
The most rewarding aspect of not etiquette, but good manners to me, is that my children know what to do and how to behave and are fully confident where ever they go and with whomever they are with. 

What age group do you enjoy working with most when it comes to etiquette? And why? 
I enjoy teaching and helping anyone young or old to become confident cooks and I especially like helping people to feel confident in whatever situation they find themselves in. I must admit I don’t think “sugar tongs” manners are particularly relevant to anyone and look ridiculous, but good manners, especially table manners are vital to everyday living. Nothing sets my teeth on edge more than bad table manners.  

Who are some of the older etiquette authors or authorities you enjoy reading most?
My favourite book is called Hostess by Constance Spry, I have a first edition from the 1960’s and I also have a first edition Amy Vanderbilt that was given to my father when he went off to college in the 1950’s.

What types of classes or training do you offer, if any? If you don’t offer classes or training, how do you share your expertise? 
I am going to start doing dems again, I met a woman earlier this year who reminded me how much fun they were and how she learned so much so I am going to start doing them on line, a new adventure for me.

To reach Amy, you can contact her at amy@kbocakes.co.uk or follow her on Instagram @Amy_Willcock

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Prom Etiquette for Young People

  

Make your date feel special, and do not leave her with her friends all night, she spent a lot of time getting ready. — And not mentioned in the article, but very polite, if another young man asks to ‘cut in’ and dance with your date, graciously allow him to at least once.

Proper Etiquette and a Successful Prom

Although there are many ways to approach the festivities of Prom, there are a few guidelines that will make it more enjoyable, smooth, and memorable. Etiquette coach Kim R. Wilson explains what to do and what not to do:

For Ladies

1. Manners matter: Always remember to say please and thank you. 

2. Eating is a skill: Use the proper silverware by starting with the outside and working your way in. Put your napkin on your lap to keep from spilling on your dress. Remove your gloves during dinner. 

3. Accessorize: Wear a wrap or a shawl around your shoulders over a strapless dress. Do not wear rings over your gloves. Do wear your bracelet over your gloves. 

4. You and your date: Make all entrances with your date, and especially do not walk in front or behind them. Do go to Prom with a date who will pull your chair out at dinner. Tell your date how handsome he looks. Be on time, he’s nervous enough as it is. 

5. Alternative: Do not be afraid to go with your girl friends to Prom. Think of it as “less stress.” 

For Gentlemen

1. Manners matter: Do not seat yourself when a lady is standing. Do stand when- a lady excuses herself from the table. Pull her chair out when being seated. 

2. You and your date: Do not enter a room before your date unless you are turning on the light for her. Check her wrap in for her at hotels and restaurants. Make all entrances with her. Do ask another woman to help pick out the corsage and be sure to match the color to the color of your date’s dress. Do not forget to tell her how beautiful she looks. 

3. Look and feel good: Do wear your best cologne, but do not completely drench yourself in it. Do not forget your cash. Do not drink and drive. Make your date feel special, and do not leave her with her friends all night, she spent a lot of time getting ready.— Woodside World, 2007

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Japan’s Chopstick Etiquette Dilemma

Did you know? In Japan, fewer and fewer people know how to use chopsticks properly each year. For example, according to a government food culture survey conducted in 2010, only 54.2% of people 18 and older hold chopsticks correctly.

Chopsticks. In the modern world, depending on tradition, people eat with their hands, utensils, and chopsticks. Since I live in Japan, I'd like to talk about a specialty of table etiquette: chopsticks. 

I'd like to point out that there's an International Chopsticks Day, celebrated on February 6th. This day symbolizes the appreciation of this ancient Asian utensil. 

Chopsticks originated in China around 5,000 years ago, and the tradition later spread to Japan, Korea, and Vietnam. The festival aims to promote East Asian food culture, develop fine motor skills, and highlight the convenience of using chopsticks.

About 30% of the world's population uses chopsticks. They are a very versatile utensil – they can be used to pick up rice or noodles, cut fish, stir soup, wrap sushi, hold solid food while drinking liquids, scoop up food, pick out bones, and so on.

Chopsticks originated in China around 5,000 years ago, and the tradition later spread to Japan, Korea, and Vietnam. The festival aims to promote East Asian food culture, develop fine motor skills, and highlight the convenience of using chopsticks. 

Interestingly, using chopsticks engages over 30 joints and muscles, developing fine motor skills and stimulating brain function.

Chopsticks are made from various materials. Japanese chopsticks are primarily made from wood or bamboo, while in East Asia, metals are also used, such as in Korea, and ivory and plastic, such as in China. ⠀ 

I'd like to note that Japan also celebrates this day on August 4th. Chopsticks in Japan symbolize longevity and good fortune and are called "o-hashi," a polite prefix. This is a recommended gift, especially for newlyweds. Each family member uses their own chopsticks.

According to Japanese etiquette, when eating with chopsticks, one must not place the chopsticks vertically in the dish, pass food from one set of chopsticks to another, or use the same dish with other diners. These actions are performed during the farewell ceremony according to Buddhist tradition. 

Other taboos also exist: waving chopsticks, pointing at people or objects, banging chopsticks, and moving cutlery and dishes.

I'm often asked, "What's the proper way to hold chopsticks?" Even in Japan, fewer and fewer people know how to use chopsticks properly each year. For example, according to a government food culture survey conducted in 2010, only 54.2% of people 18 and older hold chopsticks correctly.

Chopsticks should be held and held like this:
1) Hold one chopstick approximately one-third of the way up between the thumb and index finger, holding it from below with the middle finger; 

2) Place the top of the second chopstick on the base of the thumb, and below it on the last phalanx of the ring finger, approximately at the base of the nail; 

3) Hold the chopsticks this way, and try to move their ends together and apart. They should always be somewhat apart at the top;  

4) Practice grasping small objects with the chopsticks, such as peanuts or corn.

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Ancient vs 20th C. Glove Etiquette

By the time this article was written, glove and hat etiquette for men and women attending houses of worship, had changed greatly over the centuries. By the dawn, and now the early years, of the 21st century, hats and gloves have fallen in use for many. They are rarely seen outside of inclement weather and the most formal of occasions.

  

Ancient Etiquette oF Gloves.

In the middle ages etiquette with regard to gloves was far more stringent then, than at present. For instance, no one as permitted to enter a church wearing gloves, which were considered just as much out of place as it would nowadays for a man to remain in any sacred edifice with a hat on. — The Fresno Bee, 1903

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Japan’s Etiquette and Setsubun

February 3rd is the traditional holiday of Setsubun, which marks the end of the seasons. It's essentially the New Year.

February is a month for the New Year celebration in the East. For example, in China, the Lunar New Year began on February 17th this year, and will be celebrated until March 3rd. In Japan, where I live, February 3rd is the traditional holiday of Setsubun, which marks the end of the seasons. It's essentially the New Year.

Traditionally, the year begins with spring. Even when talking about the arrival of the New Year, they use the expression "Haru o mukaeru" (春を迎える). Translated from Japanese, it means "Welcome spring." February 3rd is the start of the New Year according to the solar calendar.

First, you should eat soybeans (mame) equal to your age plus one bean to become healthier. These beans are sold in all supermarkets, and in large stores, in the lead-up to the holiday…

There are a number of traditions that are traditionally observed on February 3rd. First, you should eat soybeans (mame) equal to your age plus one bean to become healthier. These beans are sold in all supermarkets, and in large stores, in the lead-up to the holiday, they broadcast audio narration about the holiday. The beans are called "fukumame," meaning "lucky beans." This is how the tradition is passed on to new generations.

Celebrities, such as sumo wrestlers, renowned athletes, and famous actors, are invited to participate.

Secondly, on February 3rd, it's customary to scatter these beans at Shinto shrines. Celebrities, such as sumo wrestlers, renowned athletes, and famous actors, are invited to participate. Thirdly, it's essential to eat ehomaki rice rolls. These are rolls of the "auspicious direction." According to etiquette, ehomaki should be eaten silently and with your eyes closed, facing the auspicious direction, so that your wish will come true. The roll must be eaten in one go, without cutting it with a knife.

In 2026, the lucky direction is south - southeast (closer to the south). Incidentally, according to Chinese tradition, the god of wealth also arrives from the south on February 17th this year. This is how the traditions of the two countries intertwine. Ehomaki contains seven ingredients, symbolizing the seven gods of fortune. Kapyo (seaweed) symbolizes longevity, shiitake mushrooms symbolize protection from evil, omelet symbolizes good luck, eel symbolizes promotion and longevity, shrimp symbolizes longevity, cucumber symbolizes vitality and growth, and sakura denbu (crushed dried sea bream with added sugar and soy sauce) symbolizes celebration.

Since ancient times, one family member, usually a man, would wear a "demon" mask, and all family members would throw beans at him. 

Fourth, the mamemaki ritual is performed, which is aimed at driving away evil forces. It is customary to scatter beans while reciting the phrase: "Oni-wa soto! Fuku-wa uchi!" — "Demons out! Happiness into the house!" Since ancient times, one family member, usually a man, would wear a "demon" mask, and all family members would throw beans at him. According to tradition, this was supposed to ward off evil spirits and ill intentions, and also to ensure prosperity and good health for the coming year. Happy spring! May happiness and prosperity come to your homes!

By contributor, Elena Gavrilina-Fujiyama especially for Etiquipedia. Elena is a specialist in Japanese protocol and etiquette, and European social etiquette. The founder of the project Etiquette748, Elena is also a member of the National Association of Specialists of Protocol. She authored the best-selling book “Japanese Etiquette: Ancient Traditions and Modern Rules” after living in Japan for over 20 years. Elena recently was awarded the Diploma of the World Prize “Woman of the Russian World” in the category “Entrepreneurship” (Japan). The theme of the 2024 award is “Preservation and strengthening of the traditional family values.”

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette in Vietnam

In Vietnamese, ‘khiêm’ means humble or modest behaviour. Be mindful that Vietnamese etiquette does not automatically translate into Western etiquette, nor are they similar. Westerners are taught that using polite language, such as ‘thank you’ or ‘you’re welcome’, is used when showing respect however, in Vietnamese this may translate to arrogance and is deemed unnecessary. So, don’t be surprised when ‘I’m sorry’ may not be used.

My introduction to Vietnam and the Vietnamese people began in my early teenage years. In Melbourne, two suburbs recreated a shopping scene reminiscent of the energy and bustle of Ho Chi Minh City. These areas were alive with daily commerce, storefronts filled with colour, and restaurants serving traditional foods.

Since the Vietnam War, the influx of Vietnamese into Australia has existed for over 40 or more years. I loved frequently shopping and eating in Little Vietnam in Melbourne and Sydney, absorbing its food and people culture. Eventually, I had the pleasure of traveling to Vietnam, starting from the north and making my way to the south. Here is what I learnt.

What You Will See in Vietnam

As you walk through streets, laneways, and peer through gated houses and step into businesses, you will see mirrors above front doors, below by the door's side, red coloured alters or you might see fresh fruit or fake money, which are symbolic offerings to dead ancestors that will be later burned.

Traditionally, the Vietnamese are superstitious, and you will see each morning many attend altars dedicated to appeasing the gods, and families of long ago, deflecting the devil and bad spirits, praying to bring ‘good luck’ into their lives and their family’s lives. Other items of a religious nature that you need to understand are that there are lucky and unlucky numbers and colours, as well as pregnancy taboos that the Vietnamese take very seriously.

Be mindful of not stepping over or on an altar that lies on the ground or touching items such as incense sticks that don’t belong to you. When entering religious places, follow the directions of the gatekeepers, such as taking your shoes off, wearing appropriate clothing, taking your hat off your head and using silence when watching those worshiping.

‘Khiêm’ Vietnamese for Polite Etiquette

In Vietnamese, ‘khiêm’ means humble or modest behaviour. Be mindful that Vietnamese etiquette does not automatically translate into Western etiquette, nor are they similar. Westerners are taught that using polite language, such as ‘thank you’ or ‘you’re welcome’, is used when showing respect however, in Vietnamese this may translate to arrogance and is deemed unnecessary. So, don’t be surprised when ‘I’m sorry’ may not be used.

Learn Greetings to Use While Travelling

The Vietnamese language is a complicated one as it’s a tonal language and a tone mispronounced could confuse locals as to understanding you however, using a few Vietnamese words might open doors. Below you will see that greetings are different for those who are elderly, young, or close to your age. Vietnamese people are deeply rooted hierarchical society based on seniority and age.

• Elder Male: Ông, 
• Elder Female: Bà, 
• Older Male: Anh, 
• Older Female: Chị, 
• Younger Person: Em, 
• Younger Service Staff: Em ơi or 
• Older service staff: Anh/Chị ơi, 
• A friend: Bạn ơi.
• How old are you? Bao nhiêu tuổi? 

or similar question…

• Are you healthy?: “Khỏe không?” 
• If you’re not sure about the age of the person you are speaking to, use a pronoun one level higher to address them.

When using the greeting with elders, you should initiate the greeting as the elderly will wait and stare until you do. When you want to display deep respect, you can shake someone’s hand with both hands. Greeting a female, a bow or nod of acknowledgment is used however, before you offer your hand, wait till they extend their hand, or they might not. Men greet each other with a nod or, for business, a handshake.

Eat Like a Native Vietnamese

If you think that you have dined at enough Vietnamese restaurants and, through observation, understand all that you need to know about dining culture, well, you might have missed these unspoken protocols.

Don’t just plonk yourself down anywhere, wait to be escorted to where you will sit, whether it is on the ground or the table. The reason for this is that hierarchy plays a role in who sits where and when. The eldest person sits down first, then the oldest, and then the youngest diners. Another sign of respect is waiting for everyone to arrive at the table, then being seated, the oldest person to proceed eating first and everyone thereafter.

Vietnamese meals are served family style, where all types of dishes are placed in the middle of the table, and everyone is obliged to help themselves with cutlery from each dish to their bowl. Never use your chopsticks or fork to eat directly from the serving dishes. You too can have a part by passing dishes around using both of your hands.

Unlike Western dining, where you eat from dinnerware that is on the table, in the Vietnamese style, you can lift the bowl close to your mouth, leaving it on the table can be interpreted as a sign of laziness. I find it refreshing to hold the bowl to eat from. You may find that your host may serve meat or may offer a vegetarian meal. If your host serves seafood such as fish, once served on your plate, the fish remains on your plate and is never turned over. This may invoke superstitious images of a fisherman’s boat capsizing.

Use chopsticks with respect. From the earliest historical Chinese and Japanese records, chopsticks were used for funerary and religious purposes and eventually migrated to the table, especially during the time of Confucius, curbing violence at the table with daggers. Never wave the chopsticks around while you are talking, point with them, or stick them upright in your bowl. Chopsticks are only for personal eating, use only.

If your host serves seafood such as fish, once served on your plate, the fish remains on your plate and is never turned over. This may invoke superstitious images of a fisherman’s boat capsizing.

A good Vietnamese host will try to ply you with lots of food. To kindly decline, place your hand or lay the chopsticks over your bowl and thank the host and state that you are satisfied. Make sure there is no food left in your bowl, as it may be seen as careless wastage, which could have been consumed by someone else later that day. Please help the host in clearing the table before drinks are served at the end of the dining event.

I hope these tips and tricks from my time in Vietnam help you when visiting the country, joining close friends, or accepting an invitation to dine at a Vietnamese restaurant. It is one of my favourite places to visit as people are kind and respectful, and the food is just amazing.

Happy travels and tạm biệt – goodbye.

For many years, Etiquipedia contributor, Elizabeth Soos, has had a keen interest in cultural customs. With her European background and extensive travel, Soos developed an interest in the many forms of respect and cultural expectations in the countries she has visited. With her 20 years’ experience in customer service within private international companies based in Australia, and her lifetime interest in manners and research, she decided to branch out into the field of etiquette and deportment. Through her self-directed studies and by completing the Train-The-Trainer’s course offered by Emma Dupont’s School of Etiquette in London and by Guillaume Rue de Bernadac at Academie de Bernadac based in Paris and Shanghai, she founded Auersmont School of Etiquette. Elizabeth can currently be found in Melbourne Australia and on numerous social media sites.

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Glove Etiquette for All Occasions

Seldom do people wish to hear about the etiquette of wearing gloves except during the high season of charity balls, gala events, weddings, proms and formal dinners.

Dear Miss Etiquette: Can you please give us advice about the etiquette for over-the-elbow kid gloves worn at very formal events, such as cocktail parties, dinners, charity galas, debutantes balls and weddings, including gloves for the bride and bridesmaids? 

How about the etiquette for the right and graceful ways of donning and undonning these kid gloves? How do they go with bracelets and jewelry? Are they worn over the glove although they are difficult to undo? When shaking hands and when in the introduction line, should we be gloved? And what about a hand kiss while we have our white gloves on? The rules found with regard to the above, are often different. The formal etiquette seems to require staying gloved except while eating and for the ring ceremony. Signed, Concerned

Dear Concerned: Seldom do people wish to hear about the etiquette of wearing gloves except during the high season of charity balls, gala events, weddings, proms and formal dinners. 

With respect to kid gloves, may I say kid gloves are made from the leather of young goats? Gloves and shoes made of kid skin are soft and smooth and require a great deal of care, as it is delicate leather. The term handle with kid gloves means to treat with care and tact. Men, as well as women, may wear kid gloves. 

Let me tell the gentlemen something. If you are wearing an outdoor glove, always remove the glove on your right hand before you shake hands. However, if you are an usher at a wedding or at a formal ball, you leave on gloves intended to be worn indoors. 

If you are walking down the street and it is impossible for you to remove your right glove, you are to use the expression “Please excuse my glove.” 

A lady never takes off her gloves to shake hands. There are only two countries that abide by that rule: the United States of America and England. 

If a lady is wearing gardening gloves and the gloves are muddy and wet, she simply says she is sorry she cannot shake hands. 

Gloves worn over the elbow at very formal events usually have buttons at the wrist and are called 18-button gloves. 

Etiquette dictates you walk out of your home wearing your gloves. As gloves are considered under garments, no one is supposed to see you putting them on. 

Young ladies wear gloves on their wedding day. There are gloves made especially for weddings in that the ring finger on the left-hand glove is especially constructed for the wedding ring placement. With regard to the bride, the mothers, the bridesmaids and the matron of honor, gloves remain on the hand in the receiving line and are removed before dinner. 

When a young lady attends a cocktail party, she leaves her gloves on until the first sign of food. Once the hors d’oeuvres are presented, gloves are removed and either placed in the handbag or placed in the inside suit pocket of the young lady's escort. The young lady excuses herself and finds the powder room to remove the gloves. If that is inconvenient, she should remove her gloves with very little fanfare, quietly and out of sight. 

Remember, one does not eat with gloves on. Common sense dictates you do not wear jewelry on top of gloves. Rings and bracelets are worn under gloves. But there is an exception. It is the evening bracelet made of platinum and diamonds, an original piece of art created especially for formal events and worn over a gloved hand. 

No single young lady accepts a hand kiss from a gentleman and no gentleman is ever so forward as to expect a young lady who is single to accept his hand kiss; how rude. 

Tend to your gloves when you put them away so they are fresh for your next outing. — By Anita Shower in the Times-Press-Recorder, 2002

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura, J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age “Polite Life”

The newness of our country is perpetually renewed by the sudden making of fortunes, and by the absence of a hereditary, reigning set. There is no aristocracy here which has the right and title to set the fashion. — Writer, Georgene Corry Benham, author of  “Polite Life and Etiquette or What is Right and the Social Arts”

THERE is no country where there are so many people asking what is “proper to do,” or, indeed, where there are so many genuinely anxious to do the proper thing, as in the vast conglomerate which we call The United States of America. The newness of our country is perpetually renewed by the sudden making of fortunes, and by the absence of a hereditary, reigning set. There is no aristocracy here which has the right and title to set the fashion.

We contend that it is in no way derogatory to a new country like our own, if on some minor points of etiquette we presume to differ from older countries. We find it necessary to fit our garments to the climate, our manners to our fortunes and our habits and customs to the demands of the age in which we live. 

We have, however, many faults and inelegancies of which foreigners justly accuse us, which we can easily correct by a little careful study of this book, which is given to the people after much thought based on common sense and every-day life.— From “Polite Life and Etiquette or What is Right and the Social Arts,” by Georgene Corry Benham, 1891

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia