Craziness of Kings and Queens

 The intellectual degeneracy of etiquette monarchs may have a good deal to do with the Sybaritism of their palace life.

Why Monarchs Were Insane

Pathologists have often pointed out the fact that physical and mental enervation are apt to go hand in hand, and the intellectual degeneracy of etiquette monarchs may have a good deal to do with the Sybaritism of their palace life.

The plebeian functions which mediaval sovereigns were obliged to perform by proxy included the adjustment of their gala gloves. They had flunkies to remove their cravats and warm their nightshirts, unplait their pigtails and tuck up their bedclothes around their shoulders. In the morning courtiers competed for the honor of holding their washbasin. Peers of the realm waited on bended knees to buckle their shoes. 

If the inheritor of a legitimate throne lifted a spoon to break an egg. Lynx-eyed lackeys anticipated his needs with the agility of trained conjurers. Like his food, his information on current topics was served ready dressed and cooked, till he turned into a masticating machine and repeater of conventional twaddle.-Lippincott's, 1901

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Europe’s Noble Ragamuffins

After several days of reading about the merchandising of the House of Windsor, where only those claiming the moniker “Sussex” were hanging around with their wallets open, it was refreshing to read how many Americans have always viewed such Noble Ragamuffins. It’s also a good reminder that forks have only been common at America’s tables since the 1830’s to 1840’s. ~According to a quick Google search, I was able to glean this information on Fishbladder’s book: Based on an 1893 edition of the Eldora Enterprise, the “Handbook of Indoor Etiquette” was a fictional or satirical, yet influential, manual credited to the “immortal professor Fishbladder.” It served as a guide for high society in Chicago, emphasizing refined manners such as eating peas with a fork, promoting dull-finished jewelry, and encouraging quiet elegance in style to combat uncouth elements.- From newspaper archives .com

We are not giving ourselves any uneasiness about the visit of the Infanta Eulalie to Chicago. All this talk about our inability to keep up our end of the rules of etiquette is simply so much fiction calculated to belittle our cultured society. Chicago has not been idle the last four years. 

Ever since the immortal Professor A. J. Fishbladder came into the midst of us and taught us how to eat peas with a fork we have been able to hold our own against the rest of creation. There was a time when some uncouth elements in our society denounced Fishbladder as a charlatan. All these persecutions did Fishbladder suffer with the patient, unprotesting meekness of a medieval Christian martyr, and now, lo and behold, the harvest has come, and we glory in the fruition of his teachings.

It is to Fishbladder that we are largely indebted for our ability to toady, miscellaneously and abjectly, to the vast and unassorted lot of foreign titled nincompoops and knaves that is being spawned upon this country at this time. So long as the Fishbladder "Handbook of Indoor Etiquette" holds out its saving grace we need have no fear for Chicago's culture, and we can confidently view the swelling influx of Europe's noble ragamuffins. -Chicago Record. 1895

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Medieval Times Dining Madness

Even the noble families in England in the Middle Ages shared common plates and cups, used fingers instead of forks, licked their plates, wiped their teeth on the tablecloth… 

OLD CUSTOMS SEEM CURIOUS

Common Plates and Cups Were Once Shared 

and 

Diners Fought for the Biggest Share of Portions

Noble families in England in the Middle Ages shared common plates and cups, used fingers instead of forks, licked their plates, wiped their teeth on the tablecloth, and scrambled for the largest portion, says the Detroit News. Books on etiquette issued in the Fifteenth century pointed out that these things were not good manners. The art of cooking in the Middle Ages flourished, however, cooks excelling at artistic and rich confectionery.

Dancing in medieval times was true to its name. Dancers really moved with nimbleness and agility instead of slowly posturing round the room in the manner of modern dancers. The noble and his family and servants lived and slept in the great hall of the castle, with next to no privacy. A better state of things evolved gradually, more rooms being added and more windows put in, insuring greater seclusion for the lord and his family. — The Banner, 1923

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette, Diplomats and Uniforms

Mr. Sanford resigned on a point of etiquette. He had adopted the “Marcy uniform” — that is, a plain dress for State occasions…

 ⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

“Did the U.S. Ever Require Diplomatic Uniforms? Before the Department of State formally established uniforms in 1817, American diplomats often designed their own. That year, the State Department prescribed an official ‘civilian suit’ modeled after what U.S. delegates wore to the Conference of Ghent in 1814, which ended the War of 1812. Even then, uniforms were mostly reserved for ceremonial occasions, and the practice quickly fell out of favor. By 1853, Secretary of State William L. Marcy issued a circular recommending that U.S. diplomats simply wear ‘the simple dress of an American citizen’ (U.S. Department of State, 2003). Still, many foreign governments preferred a standardized diplomatic uniform for formal events, which left American diplomats to decide for themselves. That flexibility made the U.S. stand out in the 19th century—and it continues to set the tone today, as uniforms remain common in many other diplomatic corps around the world” — From a terrific article by Victoria Monroy on LinkedIn.

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

Above — Wearing the official Belgian diplomatic uniform, Baron Henri Beyens photographed in 2011. Courtesy of Wikipedia

A Question of Dress

Mr. Sandford, for a long time Secretary of Legation at Paris, has resigned, and Mr. Pratt, of Ohio, is to have the place. Mr. Sanford resigned on a point of etiquette. He had adopted the Marcy uniform — that is, a plain dress for State occasions — and Mr. Mason had determined that the Legation should adhere to the court dress heretofore worn, and the difficulty being in itself irreconcilable, Mr. Sandford resigned. Our foreign missions must be important when dress is the principal subject of discussion and dissension.—The San Joaquin Republican, 1854

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Frugality Encouraged

“And let me furthermore mention two ways which eat out the annual income in a more sure and telling way than the corruption of moth and rust; extravagance in dress on the part of women, and tobacco on the part of men. Nothing can be said on these subjects that has not already been said, but I often think that the one sex winks at the extravagances of the other, on the principle that those who live in glass houses should not throw stones, and vice versa.” — Above, a Gilded Age, ornate sterling check-cutter by George Shiebler. Before checks were perforated, they came in large sheets, usually 3 at a time. Check cutters on desks became very helpful to businessmen. Oftentimes, they came in backs were marked with inches, meaning they doubled as rulers. From the Etiquipedia private collection.

How to Reduce Household Expenses

To the Editor of the New-York Times:Having read an article under this head in today's (Jan. 19) TIMES, I am anxious to state some other methods whereby to lessen the extravagances of living. In the first place, the wasteful ways of housekeepers and servants might be avoided, for as we learned in our first efforts at ‘Tis willful waste makes woeful want.” A large proportion of our people throw away what is left from one meal to another, from one day to an other, from one season to another; or if not at the moment willfully thrown away, the fragments are left so unprotected from dust and insects as to be utterly worthless when called for.

The same waste extends through out many households, from waste of food and clothing, to a careless treatment of all the articles required in housekeeping, so that what should last any family a lifetime needs to be replenished every year. The best carpets are swept with the street brooms, the lace and damask are left unprotected from dust, the little articles of vertu are knocked about by ruthless hands, the soft blankets, which every one must know are apt to be ruined in washing, are thrown upon the floor; the metal-ware is left wet, and the wooden-ware is left dry; the oil-cloths and painted wood-work are everlastingly scoured with soap, though this latter device for throwing money into the fire is supposed to be owing to a secret understanding with the house-painters.

I might prolong these enumerations, as it is not only when china breaks that the housekeeper feels undone, but I will pass to the remedy. Let every one understand what are the real needs of a household, put their own shoulder to the wheel as an assistant before ever dreaming of directing others; learn by actual experience the very best way of doing every kind of house-work, and at once some progress is made toward improving the state of affairs. Where every one is in a phlegmatic state of content, what need of change? 

It is a dissatisfaction with the present way that paves a new way. And let me furthermore mention two ways which eat out the annual income in a more sure and telling way than the corruption of moth and rust; extravagance in dress on the part of women, and tobacco on the part of men. Nothing can be said on these subjects that has not already been said, but I often think that the one sex winks at the extravagances of the other, on the principle that those who live in glass houses should not throw stones, and vice versa. 

It is not the taxation alone which makes it so difficult to live. Rents are somewhat reduced, bread and milk are less in price, meat is very much cheaper, butter is cheaper than during the war, tea and coffee are twenty percent, all cotton and worsted goods are cheaper, all cotton cheaper. Shoes would be cheaper if people would be content to cover the foot, but it the shoemaker must furnish enough extra leather to cover the leg also, should we wonder if he charges extra? Almost every shoe-store offers of good shoes of an old style at a low price.

I do not ask that our people should make dawdies of themselves, but that they should throw the blame at the right place-not at the country, not at the Government, but at that little altar of laziness and vanity in their own breasts. As to the tobacco drain, let any one notice the prices affixed to the cigars in the cases at the stores, then remark the number of those consumed in one day by the individual, and remember that in the year there are 365 days; let him notice these straws, and he will see why his money blows away, and why he has nothing to lay up against a rainy day.

I very much fear that when some of the weightier taxes are removed, our people will feel they have means to soar into still greater extravagance than ever. Ours is a soaring nation, its wings never having been clipped by such limitations as rule England and Germany, and it is only that rare quality, common sense, which can teach us to soar in the right direction. – A “Reader” in the New York Times, January 21, 1872

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia © Etiquette Encyclopedia

Art and Etiquette of Afternoon Tea

Finally, on the top part of the stand, the third tier, small pastries are served, also typically English, which bring this moment of conviviality to a close.

The British Afternoon Tea Ceremony

Around the world, the ritual of tea is known as one of the most cherished and meaningful moments to enjoy a good infusion, alone or in company. It is well known that this precious beverage spread from China to all of Europe precisely from Great Britain, becoming a fundamental part of English life. However, not everyone knows that there are very specific rules that should be followed.

First of all, you need to choose a good loose-leaf tea and steep it in boiling water — depending on the type of infusion chosen — for three to six minutes. For each guest, the teapot should contain one teaspoon of loose-leaf tea, plus one extra “for the pot.” Separately, of course, there will be the sugar bowl and milk jug. And what about lemon? The English almost never use lemon, substituting it with milk. Do you know why? Not for a reason that’s fundamentally about taste, but for a logistical one to solve a serious problem: at one time, English teacups couldn’t withstand the heat of the tea and would break. To get around this problem, the English started putting the milk in the cup first to cool down the hot tea that would be poured in right after. 

Naturally, after 1700, with the founding of historic companies like Wedgwood, Spode, Minton, etc…, the materials used were able to keep cups from cracking under heat thanks to the use of kaolin, effectively leading to the birth of porcelain and bone china. Afternoon tea, thanks to Anna Maria Russell, Duchess of Bedford, people began to accompany the drink with both sweet and savory bites. It’s no coincidence that a three-tiered plate is served with very specific foods: on the first tier, the lowest one, sandwiches made with white and brown bread are served, filled with chicken, eggs, salmon, etc…

On the second tier, buns sometimes studded with raisins called scones are served; they are split in half by hand, never with a knife, and filled with clotted cream and strawberry jam. In reality, there’s a historic dispute between Devonshire, which says you should put the clotted cream on first and then the jam, and Cornish, which says you should spread the jam first and then the clotted cream. The latter is a sort of butter-cream similar to mascarpone that is really hard to find in many countries.

Above, a patent for a gilded age “Sandwich Plate” by Haviland. The “sandwich set” with plate and cup has a very wide saucer to hold biscuits, scones, finger sandwiches or pastries.

Finally, on the top part of the stand, the third tier, small pastries are served, also typically English, which bring this moment of conviviality to a close. Many hotels around the world recreate this ritual, adding the option to serve Prosecco or champagne. The most interesting thing, though, is seeing what tools have been invented to fill the table with dishware and surprise the guests. Among the cups, for example, there’s the “mustache cup,” which has ceramic or porcelain ledges to keep mustaches from getting dirty, or the “luncheon set” or “sandwich set,” which have a very wide saucer to hold biscuits, scones, finger sandwiches or pastries. 

Other interesting items are new utensils like the lemon fork with spread out or “splayed” tines for picking up lemon slices, the jam spoon with a chiseled edge, the bird-shaped lemon squeezer, the sugar cube tongs, and strainers of various shapes and materials. In short, it’s a ritual that becomes an experience and can be compared to the beauty of the Japanese, Chinese, French, New Zealand, or Italian tea ceremony.

Other interesting items are new utensils like the lemon fork with spread out or “splayed” tines for picking up lemon slices, the jam spoon with a chiseled edge, the bird-shaped lemon squeezer, the sugar cube tongs, and strainers of various shapes and materials.

Petra Carsetti was born into a gastronomic minded family… true lovers of excellent foods and wines. From an early age she showed a great passion for the table, which she later developed by working in important, well-known Italian restaurants. Since 2005, she has written many books on food and wine, along with guides to Italian restaurants, specializing also in galateo and etiquette at the Accademia Italiana Galateo and ANCEP (the Association of Ceremonialists for Public Institute). She teaches etiquette in schools to adults and children, is a consultant for various political and economic authorities, and she has a weekly column in a historic newspaper. She also writes for various other newspapers, is a frequent television guest. Very active on Instagram @galateopetra_carsetti, Petra is happily married to well-known wine and food aficionado, journalist and author, Carlo Cambi and together they have one daughter. Her books Galatime and Galatime II are full of etiquette and entertaining advice.

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Victorian Handshaking Etiquette

A gentleman cannot take a lady's hand unless she offers it, and an American authority on etiquette reminds him that be must not “pinch or retain it.” A young lady must not offer hers first, or shake that given her, unless she is the gentleman’s friend.

Hand shaking is British. The lounger in society, in his glass of fashion, enumerates its various styles as indicative of character. These are aggressive, supercilious, sympathetic, emotional, but none of these are required by etiquette. Still, to shake, or, rather, to take or give a hand in mere conventional greeting, is a cultivated art of society. 

A gentleman cannot take a lady's hand unless she offers it, and an American authority on etiquette reminds him that be must not “pinch or retain it.” A young lady must not offer hers first, or shake that given her, unless she is the gentleman’s friend. A lady should always rise to give her hand, and in her own house she should always offer it in greeting, to strangers and friends alike. — Los Angeles Herald, 1883

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Blame it on Empress’ Etiquette

Was it a question of etiquette? Or more that the Spanish-born Empress did not want to suffer the same fate as Marie Antoinette had a century earlier? After the news of the defeat at Sedan and the capture of Napoleon III was made public, in September of 1870, Empress Eugénie did not rally the guards or people of Paris to maintain the Imperial throne due to the immediate collapse of political support and the risk of massive bloodshed. Her advisors, courtiers, and the government ministers had largely deserted her and/or urged her to flee as the city once again turned toward revolution. — Above, a painting of Empress Eugenie surrounded by her Dames du Palais, circa 1855. Her six ladies-in-waiting (later increased to twelve), or dames du palais, were mainly chosen from among her acquaintances prior to her marriage.

A Question of Etiquette?

It has repeatedly been asked as to why the empress, after the news of Sedan was made public, did not present herself to the guards and the people of Paris, and call upon them to rally around her and her son, and to maintain for the latter the imperial throne. The cause of this singular abstention has been made public. It was because no suitable riding habit could be found for her in which to show herself on horseback to the troops and the populace.

There was only one to be found at the Tuileries in the hurry and confusion of that terrible crisis. It was one made for the hunting parties at Compeigne, and was in the Louis XV style, composed of green velvet embroidered with gold, and necessitating a cocked hat for completion of the costume. It was too theatrical. It would not do, and so the gallant appeal to the public was given up, and with it the last hope for the preservation of the empire. -Paris Correspondent Philadelphia Telegraph, 1891

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia