Table Setting — Silver Flatware

Pictured above, “Continental” sized flatware can make plates and dishes look rather dwarfed, compared to smaller, American sized flatware. American flatware over the past 80 years or so, has been about an inch shorter and a bit smaller than its British and European counterparts. This except from the 1951, “The American Woman’s Cookbook” (formerly “The Delineator Magazine Cookbook”) clearly promotes using smaller flatware when entertaining.  —  “The luncheon knife and fork offer the greatest variety of uses. They may be used “around the clock,”for breakfast, for luncheon, for supper, and for certain courses at dinner, such as hors d'oeuvres, entrée, fish, salad, for dishes served in a ramekin, for dishes served at informal entertaining, and for large and small sandwiches. Smaller than the luncheon knife and fork are the tea knife and fork, with their increasingly-recognized number of uses.”

The silver on your table is a declaration of your taste. Whether it is sterling or plate, there is, in an excellent pattern and in the perfect form and proportion of the utensils, an unmistakable aristocracy that gives distinction.

Modern methods of manufacturing silver plate have made it not only durable but beautiful as well. Plated silver ranges from the very durable triple-plated ware, (heavy weight) which lasts a lifetime, through the double plate (medium weight) which has good wearing qualities, to the single plate which is light weight.

When you choose a pattern of silver, examine all the pieces, to be sure that you approve of the shapes of all the pieces, that the pieces are perfectly balanced, that the handles are comfortable to hold, and that the tips of the handles of the knives and forks fit perfectly into the center of the palm of the hand. Find out how long the pattern has been on the market, and, if possible, how long it is to be made, so that you will not suddenly discover that the pattern has been “discontinued.”

Place silver, or flat silver as it is sometimes called, consists of the knives, forks, and spoons necessary for general use at table.

Knives and Forks

The dinner knife and fork, although imposing members of the silver-family, are not the most important members, for their use is limited to the main course of dinner. The luncheon knife and fork offer the greatest variety of uses. They may be used “around the clock,”for breakfast, for luncheon, for supper, and for certain courses at dinner, such as hors d'oeuvres, entrée, fish, salad, for dishes served in a ramekin, for dishes served at informal entertaining, and for large and small sandwiches. Smaller than the luncheon knife and fork are the tea knife and fork, with their increasingly-recognized number of uses.

Butter spreaders are necessary in your first list. Later if you are not content to use the medium size knives and forks or the tea knives and forks for special courses like fish, entrée, salad, and fruit, you may buy fish knives and forks. entree knives and forks, and salad knives and forks (or, if you prefer, individual salad forks,) and fruit knives, or preferably, fruit knives and forks.

Spoons

Accompanying the medium size knife and fork, and of a size between a teaspoon and a tablespoon, is the dessert spoon, the spoon of a variety of uses, from eating soup and cereals, to eating desserts such as pudding and compote of fruit. 

Teaspoons have a great variety of uses, and while these are the first kind of small spoon to be bought you will want to add when you can, orange spoons, bouillon spoons, ice-cream spoons, coffee spoons, five o'clock teaspoons, and iced tea spoons. —From “The American Woman’s Cookbook,” 1951

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Table Setting — The Glass

Goblets are always provided with a foot, however small. The goblet is the dominant member of the “place glass” group, and all glasses of a service take their shape from it, following its contours very closely.

GLASS of late years, an awakening appreciation of the charm of glass has taken place. Perhaps the appeal of glorious color, so striking in this substance, accounts for it. Blue in varying tones was some years ago in wide favor; then amethyst dis placed it. Rapidly came amber, and green, which maintain a deserved respect, because of their adaptability. Rose, canary, sapphire, in quick succession-no color today is unrepresented. Glass is often selected to “go with” certain tones of china.

The hostess with a sense of fitness has a glass service for each of her dinner services. For her severely formal tables she uses glittering crystal, etched or cut, engraved or gold decorated. But there is ample opportunity for her to indulge her love for color to the full, to arrange tables with an eye to the dining-room effects, or to build them according to her own color preferences.

Kinds of Glasses

GOBLET. The goblet is the aristocrat of table glass. In its usual form it is a flaring round bowl resting on a tall slender stem. In certain styles, however, the “stem” becomes a mere button. Goblets are always provided with a foot, however small. The goblet is the dominant member of the “place glass” group, and all glasses of a service take their shape from it, following its contours very closely.

OTHER PLACE GLASS. In addition to the goblet, there may be placed at each cover at least one other glass for the cup or other beverages. At very formal dinners two extra glasses are often placed, but never more.

The shapes and sizes of these supplementary glasses vary as their purposes. On the continent, for example, there is a definite type of glass placed for certain wines. Thus a glass for sherry is differently shaped from one for claret: it is more sharply tapered and considerably smaller.

For the most part the glasses of this type that we see in America are either the claret, or the tall shallow champagne glass. The claret, whose capacity makes it a fine utility glass, is used for almost any kind of cup. On the other hand the tall champagne glass is often placed for its high decorative value. Few glasses are as graceful as this shallow bowl on its slender shaft.

SHERBET. The sherbet glass is a medium depth broad bowl on a short stem. In it are served sherbets, ice-cream, frozen desserts. Much used now, however, for this purpose is the tall shallow champagne glass, perhaps because of its more imposing height and dignity.

HOLLOW STEM CHAMPAGNE. This glass is similar to the tall champagne glass, except that the stem instead of being solid is hollow to the very bottom. While its primary use was for serving champagne, today we often serve in it ginger ale, and other carbonated drinks. The hollow stem releasing a train of sparkling bubbles is picturesque indeed.

FINGER BOWL. The finger bowl is a low broad bowl, variously shaped. It is usually seen without a “foot,” but certain styles have such supports. Finger bowls are fitted with matching under-plates, but their use is optional.

GRAPEFRUIT BOWL. This is a double bowl for chilled food cocktails. It consists of a large bowl on a stem. Within it is placed a smaller “cup” or “lining,” The grapefruit or other cocktail is put in the small cup, and the space is filled with crushed ice. between the cups.

TUMBLER. In its simplest form, a tumbler is simply a glass cylinder with one end closed. But the glass designer does wonders with it. He mounts it on a foot: he shapes its sides in lovely contours: often he makes it angular instead of round.

The sizes commonly used are:

Apollinaris Tumbler. This is a small, narrow tumbler used for liquids that are served in small quantities, such as orange juice, grape juice, mineral water. It is often used for water when space is at a premium, as on breakfast trays, or at bridge tables. It holds about five ounces.

Table Tumbler. Also called water tumbler. It is a low tumbler, containing about ten ounces, and is used to serve water informally, at simple meals. There is also a water tumbler of about the same capacity, but narrower and taller, sometimes called the “Ale tumbler.”

Highball Tumbler. A tall tumbler, used to serve “long drinks,” or iced tea, iced coffee, iced chocolate, and so forth. It holds about 12 ounces.

Iced Tea Tumbler. A normal iced tea tumbler, sufficiently large to contain plenty of ice. Its capacity runs from 14 to 16 ounces.

BESIDES THE PIECES IN GENERAL USE DESCRIBED ABOVE, there are all manner of articles blown for special uses: trays for hors d'oeuvres; salad bowls, salt dips, saucers for berries, and plates of various sizes.— From “The American Woman’s Cookbook,” 1951

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Table Setting – The China

“Today there are patterns for every occasion. Breakfast china is gay, sprightly; color runs rampant upon it; often whole gardens shine on its face. But it would not be used for a dinner, which demands fine china of exquisitely fine design. Luncheon is still another thing. Its china may vary as the season or as the whim of the hostess.” – The term “china” can refer to any plates, porcelain or ceramic ware on the table which are not made of metal or glass. 

                                        

THE social life of a household, whether the household is a simple one or an elaborate one, centers about its dining-table and whether that dining-table is simply or elaborately dressed, it should, by its harmony and unity of setting, indicate that it is arranged according to a definite artistic standard. Every accessory that builds the table-picture – the silver, china, glass, and linen– furthers the art of gracious living in the household.

CHINA

Perhaps in greater degree than any other domestic appointments, does china present an opportunity for indulgence of personal whim and the exercise of good taste on the part of the hostess. Today there are patterns for every occasion. Breakfast china is gay, sprightly; color runs rampant upon it; often whole gardens shine on its face. But it would not be used for a dinner, which demands fine china of exquisitely fine design. Luncheon is still another thing. Its china may vary as the season or as the whim of the hostess.

Modern day impatience with formula and rite is nowhere more eloquently expressed than in the growing custom of using different patterns for different courses, all related by the thread of harmony. The hostess of today considers sameness identical with boredom. If she uses a cobalt and gold service plate, she may elect to use a simple gold-banded entrée plate. The fish plate perhaps may have yellow bands to match the flowers in the center. The roast plate may present a pattern bordertouched with gold, and yellow, and blue. Her dessert plate will be utterly different from any of the foregoing: it may strike an entirely new note; but it will not be discordant or jarring. Obviously, all dishes used in one course should match.

Plates of Various Sizes and How They Are Used

In the following list the measurements, in inches, are from extreme rim to rim:

PLACE PLATE (also called cover plate, service plate, lay plate). 10 to 11 inches.

DINNER PLATE (roast plate). 10 inches, but seen as large as 10½ inches. The size of the dinner plate is fairly large, due to the current practice of placing attendant vegetables on the plate with the meat. The day of side dishes, each bearing a particular variety of vegetables, has definitely passed.

ENTRÉE PLATE. 82 to 9½ inches. A most convenient size, for, in addition to its use in serving entrées, it is often employed as a salad plate, or a fish plate: even a dessert plate when the finger bowl is borne in with the dessert silver on the plate, the finger bowl being removed later.

DESSERT PLATE. 72 to 8 inches. Used for miscellaneous desserts, and salads. It becomes the cake plate at tea. 

BREAD AND BUTTER PLATE. 6 to 6½ inches. Universally used now: the butter chip, for individual butter service is extinct.

SOUP PLATE. 8 to 8½ inches at rim, for the usual type of soup plate with wide, flat rim. There is also a bowl soup plate, or “coup” soup, which has no rim at all. Soup plates are not as commonly used as at one time, due to the spreading favor accorded the cream soup cup and the bouillon cup for luncheons and informal meals.

Cups and Bowls

CREAM SOUP CUP. This is a low, broad cup, handled on both sides. Its width is from 42 to 5 inches, and its depth about two. It is used for the serving of purées, bisques, cream soups, and is extremely popular for luncheons.

BOUILLON CUP. A tea cup with two handles. Clear soups, consommés, bouillons are served in it.

CHILLED COCKTAIL BOWL. This is distinctly an innovation in china service. It is a low, wide bowl, fitted with a separate small container. The space between the bowl proper and the inner cup is filled with crushed ice. Used for grapefruit, shrimp cocktail, and many other foods best served chilled.– From “The American Woman’s Cookbook,” 1951

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Table Manners of Young Boys

Table Manners and the 7 year old boy… “ When Charles was a baby he had better manners than he has at 7 years. He was clean and could eat like a grown person, but of late he spills, slops, and upsets everything on the table cloth and is always in haste…”

More “Tuning in With Our Children”

“HOW SOON can we expect children to have good table manners? When Charles was a baby he had better manners than he has at 7 years. He was clean and could eat like a grown person, but of late he spills, slops, and upsets everything on the table cloth and is always in haste. 

“We don't let him go anywhere after dinner so there is no need for his shoving his food down, forgetting to use his napkin, and messing up the table. What would you do?” Being a boy, I would make so much allowance for his wobbly movements, his rapidly developing muscles and take so much pride in his fine appetite, that I would do nothing about it.

Dull Edge of Appetite

However, it isn't a wise health precaution to allow a child to bolt
his food so I would offer him an apple or glass of milk about four o’clock in the afternoon so that the keen edge of his appetite might be somewhat appeased. When dinner hour arrives try to about the day's happenings or tomorrow’s plans.

In any event, one thing I wouldn’t engage him in conversation at table do, mother, and that is nag him about his habits until he was made nervous, uncomfortable and self-conscious.

Wink at Mistakes 

Compliment him when he has eaten leisurely, been thoughtful to pass food or remarks to you and father at table and wink at a lot of etiquette until his muscular development is more stable.

Of course you can’t wink at big weekly laundry problems, but there are excellent substitutes for table cloths that can be wiped off after each meal.

You might try that type of cover with the suggestion that everyone will clean around his own plate. And since he will not like the idea of cleaning up he may become more careful.

Change Will Come

Don't worry, mother, when Charles grows up and goes a-courting, he will develop a table technique soon enough. Just now his mind and body are centered on 2 million more interesting things than table manners.

You could encourage him by suggesting taking him out to dine in public places as soon as he has learned to eat carefully. Suggest that to do so would be embarrassing to you until he improves.– By James Samuel Lacy, 1932

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Gilded Age Royal Dining Etiquette

 

An American Breakfast Table of the Period

The dinners of the Czar and the richer Russian Princes are models of their kind. It was the Russians who invented the idea of serving the dishes all from the outside; hence a service à la Russe, which prevents the tablecloth from being smeared with gravy and other greasy substances. The choice porcelain and glass, the gold and silver, beautiful ornaments— these are the wonder of all travelers who visit Russia. 

The old fashion has returned again of a sort of elevated tray, or little table in the middle of the table, on which are placed the choice silver jugs, ornamented pieces, and the flowers, fruits, candied fruits — indeed, the ornamental pieces of the dinner. This sort of tray, to be at its best, should be of inlaid wood, bound in silver, and of the time of Louis Quinze. A real antique of this kind is highly prized in France, England and Italy. For the breakfast-table a rotating round china standard, in two parts for the jam, honey, butter, powdered sugar, potted meats, etc., and other belongings of a breakfast, is almost universal in England.— Harpers Bazaar, 1887

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Old Italian and German Royal Etiquette

 “The King only speaks Italian and French, so the conversation is generally in those two languages. French, of course, is supposed to be a universal language.”  – Photo of Quirinal Palace in Italy taken by Wolfgang Moroder.

The dinners at the Quirinal Palace in Italy are far more simple as to etiquette than that of England. The same formality is observed in the entrance of the King and Queen, but the conversation is more general and the Queen does not wear her gloves. She converses in English fluently. The King only speaks Italian and French, so the conversation is generally in those two languages. French, of course, is supposed to be a universal language. 

The dinners of Germany are not long, but they are formal and tedious, and the cooking does not commend itself to all tastes. The perfection of a dinner is found in London, generally at the house of Ambassadors, who combine the Excellencies of all nations with the follies of none. After asking the consent of the ladies present, the Italian and Turkish embassies allow the smoking of cigarettes between the salad and dessert. This fashion prevails in France and Russia, ladies smoking quite freely as men. – Harpers Bazaar, 1887

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New French Etiquette Manuel of 1906

Women and children walking in Paris, at Tuileries Gardens, 4th June 1906 – Image source, Pinterest

Bits of Paris Etiquette

Manual Has Been Issued in France to Guide Both Men and Women

How one ought to behave in polite society is always an interesting topic, and even if we know all about it it is worth while to hear what the latest mentor has to say on this score. “The Etiquette of Politeness and the Usages of Modern Society in all the Circumstances of Life” is the ponderous title of a bulky volume issued in Paris on this entertaining subject.

As an index to the behavior of French women and French men it is significant to note that young wives are counseled to banish from their dwelling the “dangerous visitor,” giving him to understand that “you can never be anything more to him than a stranger.” Young men who think they look well on horseback should meditate this sage advice: “If you are not an experienced equestrian, do not accompany the ladies to hounds.”

Men who have attained a certain age are told that they may “embrace little girls on the fore-head before their confirmation. Up till that period it is a paternal caress, but after that it is wise to abstain.” Presumably after confirmation the little girls begin to develop a a preference for other than paternal caresses. One would have thought that in a country where men were so proverbially gallant it would not have been necessary to warn them that it is not “correct to stand with their back to the fire, leaning on the mantelpiece.”

But the counsel is there, and it is gravely added: “By so doing you deprive others of the comfort- ing heat which you monopolize.” “The husband,” we learn, “in speaking of his wife says: ‘My wife,’ but he must not say to her: ‘Is it not so, my wife?’ Neither must the wife address her husband in this fashion.” – Adin Argus, 1906

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Leisure Time Pursuits and Manners

Children possessed of good manners have more poise and self-respect. We try in our school to find frequent occasions when our boys and girls can practice these gracious social arts.

“Every year we have to fight to retain in our schools the experiences most valuable for our children,” a mother writes. “If the school helps my boy and my girl fill their leisure time full of worthwhile recreational activity, then I know they're not going to turn to crime or debauchery for adventure or excitement.”

 Thank you, mother. I think you’re absolutely right. Our children must know how to play if they are to express their best selves. But there are many people who feel that an education consists of a quart or so of facts about arithmetic, history, language and the other conventional school subjects.

But I believe that teaching children social etiquette is more valuable than the multiplication tables. To reduce feelings of inferiority and build self-assurance through the knowledge that one knows and practices good manners is more important than knowing when Columbus arrived in America or where Madagascar is located.

Children possessed of good manners have more poise and self-respect. We try in our school to find frequent occasions when our boys and girls can practice these gracious social arts.

And we feel that training in personal care, hygiene, cleanliness, neatness and proper dress should be emphasized just as much as rules of grammar.

Tells Vital Lessons

I think I’m talking today about vital lessons. We must have a chance in our schools to guide our youngsters into appreciation of the best in literature, art, music, drama, rhythm and human relationships.

We must help them to have eyes to see, ears to hear, hearts to understand the beauty, color, harmonies, truth and goodness that surround us.

Art and morality go hand in hand; they emancipate our children from the bondage of sensuality and enable them to take hold upon things unseen and eternal.

Emotions Ennobled

Music, art, literature bring uplift, joy and beauty into many dreary, drab days. They ennoble and spiritualize our emotions. They lift us out of the commonplace into the mysterious, spiritual, eternal world that surrounds us. – James Samuel Lacy, 1937

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia