Cruise Ship Conversation Manners

“Those who wish to keep shipboard acquaintanceship at that level may then do so, while others may go on to develop passionate attachments in which the exchange of personal information may be staggering, and some of it may even be true.” — Passengers quietly perusing the midnight buffet on a Viking Cruise Line ship, circa mid-1990’s.

Dear Miss Manners: I find an unfortunate number of cruise passengers who seem to think that while on board, they can forget the etiquette of polite conversation. One should not ask personal questions, such as about occupations, exact addresses and age. Accepted and desirable conversations, in addition to the weather, would include ports to be visited and the selection of shore tours.

It is OK to observe that one has previously been on this cruise ship, but not how many times. Taboo is discussion of other cruise ships, because it always results in one-upmanship. Please advise people not to reiterate the trials and tribulations experienced in reaching this and other cruise ships.

Gentle Reader: A young lady of Miss Manners' acquaintance was asked "Where are you from?" so many times on her first cruise that she proposed saving her breath by wearing a sign reading, "I'm from Chicago; OK?"

Miss Manners sympathized, but one does, as you say, need neutral conversation openers. Those who wish to keep shipboard acquaintanceship at that level may then do so, while others may go on to develop passionate attachments in which the exchange of personal information may be staggering, and some of it may even be true.

Yet Miss Manners is not nearly so strict as you as to topics of conversation. Travel adventures seem to her exactly the desirable common point from which to launch conversation on trips.

Bragging and being boring are always rude, but she fails to understand why it would be immodest to say, "We love this ship; it's our sixth time on board" or "We're so happy to be here after having been marooned on a desert island without any books except a tipping guide, because we couldn't agree beforehand on what to take." – By Judith Martin, (aka Miss Manners), 1996

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Properly Holding a Knife and Fork

It’s not just forks which are regularly held improperly — Above - The improper way to hold a knife: The handles of both the fork and the knife should be hidden in the palm of the hands. The fork handle is in the correct spot in the palm of the hand, but the knife handle is incorrectly sticking out between the index finger and the thumb.

Q. - How should one hold the fork to cut meat so as to avoid that "banjo grip?" I've read a number of etiquette books but don't play a banjo, so don't quite get the point. - Yvette

Properly holding one’s utensils can help one appear much more elegant when dining, especially in public. When we are out with others, we want to “dine,” not merely “eat.”Above — The proper way to hold both one’s knife and one’s fork in one’s hands when dining.

A. The fork should be held near the top of the handle with the prongs downward. The index finger is placed on the shank so that it points to the tines (or prongs) and is supported at the side of the thumb. The other fingers close underneath and hold the handle tight. 

As for the "banjo grip," some folks call it "immigrant fashion." It is clutching the fork perpendicularly in the clenched fist, while sawing across the food at its base with the knife. — From “The Log of Life” column in the San PedroNews Pilot, 1943

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Spotlight on Isabel E. Martinez

Meet Venezuelan Etiquette Authority and Etiquipedia Contributor, Isabel E. Martinez, of Spain

Meet one of our newest contributors, Isabel. E. Martinez. Isabel was educated in Business Management at the Universidad Católica Andrés Bello, in Caracas, Venezuela. After relocating for a few years to Miami, Florida, Isabel developed a company teaching computer skills. Among her clients were Baccardi in Bermuda, and Mavesa, Telcel (Movistar), and Heinz in Venezuela. That is when she discovered her passion for teaching. 

As her children became adults, she shifted her focus and dedicated her time to teach on subjects she is very passionate about; Hospitality and Table Etiquette. Now living in Spain, throughout workshops in English and in Spanish, Isabel works with employees in the hospitality industry, and those business professionals who when interacting with customers, would like to make sure that they are the most professional representations of their companies. Especially when attending business lunches and events. She also offers youth and teen courses in etiquette, helping them to excel with integrity and pride in whatever field they desire to pursue. 

Teaching at a women’s event in Doha, Qatar

Below are links to Isabel E. Martinez’ articles on etiquette which you’ll currently find on Etiquipedia. More are coming soon! ;

• Dining Etiquette and History in Spain
• Napkin Etiquette and Usage
• Restaurant Job Interview

The following is a Q. & A. with Isabel:

It was the combination of these two defining experiences — a childhood rooted in the values of the table, and the discovery of my passion for teaching — that led me to what I now believe is my true calling: sharing the art of table etiquette and the transformative power of hospitality with others.

What was the impetus or pathway for starting a career in Etiquette? How did you get started? 
Some of my most vivid childhood memories are of my parents teaching us proper manners at the table. As children, we underestimated its value — as children often do. But as I grew older and began dining in different places and different settings, I realized how deeply those principles had been imprinted in me. And more importantly, I began to notice how much it truly matters.

I studied Business and because I was good using Microsoft programs while I was working, when I got married, I lived for several years in Florida, US, at that time, I started teaching Microsoft software programs and discovered the joy of teaching.

It was the combination of these two defining experiences — a childhood rooted in the values of the table, and the discovery of my passion for teaching — that led me to what I now believe is my true calling: sharing the art of table etiquette and the transformative power of hospitality with others. Because good manners are not just about rules. They are about respect. They are about making every person at your table feel seen, valued and welcome. And that, I believe, is a gift worth passing on.

We may come from different cultures, different backgrounds and different corners of the world, but we share the same mission — to keep alive the art of genuine human connection, “one table at a time”.

What (or who) do you find the most enjoyable with regard to Etiquette and your work? 
What I enjoy most is the extraordinary opportunity this industry brings — the chance to meet remarkable people who share the same passion for teaching, for serving and for making others feel truly welcome. It is astonishing how connected we all are, united by a common purpose: to spread the importance of hospitality and good manners. And it does not have to be limited to those working in the world of etiquette and protocol. You can see it — almost like a quiet glow — in everyone who works in any service-related field.

That network is something truly special. We may come from different cultures, different backgrounds and different corners of the world, but we share the same mission — to keep alive the art of genuine human connection, “one table at a time”.

What do you find the most rewarding aspect of your career in Etiquette?
Perhaps the most rewarding moment in my career comes at the end of every workshop — the smile on every face as the session draws to a close. It is as if a door has been opened that my students never knew existed. And watching them step through it, with curiosity and newfound confidence, never gets old.

Afternoon Tea Event recently taped for the Chinese viewing market in Southern California in early March, 2026

I have had the privilege of teaching in different countries, to people of vastly different backgrounds, ages and walks of life. I will confess that there are moments, just before I begin, when I ask myself: "What could I possibly teach these people?" — particularly when faced with an audience of great experience and knowledge. And yet, without exception, I am always reminded that no matter who we are or where we come from, there is always something new to discover, always another layer of refinement to uncover.

But perhaps the most deeply fulfilling experiences of my career have come through volunteering — offering workshops in places where access to this kind of knowledge is not easily or readily available. When a student looks at me at the end of a session and asks, "When are you coming back?" or "I wish we could have more workshops like this" — those words stay with me long after I have left. They are a quiet but powerful reminder of how much still needs to be done, and of how transformative education truly is when it reaches those who need it most. It is in those moments that I am most certain of my purpose.

Setting a table in costume at Afternoon Tea Event

What types of classes or training do you offer? How do you share your expertise?
I teach Table Etiquette and the Art of Hospitality — two subjects that I consider not merely related, but truly inseparable. One cannot exist at its fullest without the other.

My workshops are designed for a wide and diverse range of audiences:
• The Hospitality Industry — restaurants, hotels and service teams looking to elevate their standards and reconnect with the human side of their profession. They are "A Shot of Professional Vitamin”, a signature workshop for professionals seeking a confident, polished refresh of their social and dining skills.
• Basic English for Hospitality — tailored for employees who regularly receive international guests and wish to communicate with greater confidence and warmth.
• Children of all ages — introducing the next generation to the values of respect, consideration and gracious behavior at the table.
• Young adults — preparing them for the professional world with the social skills and confidence they need to make a lasting impression.
• Anyone who wishes to learn the art of hosting, dining elegantly or simply bringing more intention and beauty to their table.

My workshops are available both in person and online, in English and Spanish. Each session is built upon a carefully prepared foundation of material, thoroughly customized for the specific group I am working with — because no two audiences are the same, and no two workshops should be either. That personal touch is something I treasure deeply, and it is what makes each experience truly unique.

I am a firm believer in lifelong learning. I am constantly reading, researching and taking courses whenever the opportunity arises — because in this field, as in hospitality itself, there is always something new to discover, always another layer of excellence to pursue.

Teaching a personalized, one-on-one class in Spain

What age group do you enjoy working with most when it comes to etiquette? And why?
I genuinely enjoy every workshop I teach, each one for its own unique reasons.

Working with children is something wonderful. Recently, I had the joy of stepping into a classroom of four-year-olds — Their curiosity, their laughter and their eagerness to learn reminded me of why this work matters so deeply.

But perhaps the greatest surprise of recent years has been discovering the extraordinary thirst for knowledge that young adults carry with them. Something I did not fully anticipate — and it was nothing short of fantastic. This new generation has a remarkable amount of information and opportunity at their fingertips, and I am firmly convinced that those who invest in developing their social skills, their manners and their emotional intelligence will be the ones who truly thrive.

Daniel Post from Emily Post Institute is someone I admire. His family has been able to keep the Emily Post legacy alive. Will Guidara was the one who made me realize the Importance of Hospitality!

Who are some of the older etiquette authors or authorities you enjoy reading most?
Daniel Post from Emily Post Institute is someone I admire. His family has been able to keep the Emily Post legacy alive. Will Guidara was the one who made me realize the Importance of Hospitality! And last, but not least, our dear Maura J. Graber. She is a “walking encyclopedia”, an educator willing to spread her knowledge expecting nothing in return for whoever wants to learn.

To learn more about Isabel, visit her website: www.learningschool2.com or @isasetiquette on Instagram

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Restaurant Job Interview Etiquette

In a restaurant interview, the table is not just where you eat. It is where you are truly evaluated. And those who understand this — who walk in prepared, poised and gracious — will always leave a lasting impression.

The Importance of Restaurant Table Etiquette During a Job Interview

In today's competitive professional world, a job interview over a meal is far more common than many candidates realize. Whether it is a casual lunch or a formal dinner, the restaurant setting adds an entirely new dimension to the evaluation process. And while your qualifications and experience will always matter, how you conduct yourself at the table can be just as revealing — and just as decisive. The truth is simple: table manners speak before you do.

From the moment you sit down, your host is observing. Not necessarily with judgment, but with curiosity. How you treat the wait staff, how you handle your napkin, whether you reach across the table or politely ask for something to be passed — all of these small moments paint a picture of who you are as a person and, by extension, as a professional.

First impressions begin before the menu arrives. Place your napkin on your lap as soon as you are seated. Sit upright, but naturally. Avoid fidgeting with your cutlery. These subtle signals communicate confidence, composure and respect — qualities every employer is looking for.

Ordering wisely is part of the interview. Avoid messy or difficult-to-eat dishes. Choose something that allows you to eat gracefully and maintain conversation without distraction. Follow your host's lead when ordering, and never order the most expensive item on the menu.

The art of conversation at the table is equally important. A meal shared is a rare opportunity to demonstrate not only your professional knowledge, but your social intelligence — your ability to connect, to listen, to read the room and to make others feel comfortable in your presence. These are skills that can be learned and refined, and once mastered, they become an effortless and invaluable part of who you are.

How you treat others tells everything. Be warm and respectful to the wait staff. Thank them. Acknowledge them. Nothing reveals character more quickly than how a person treats someone they do not need to impress.

In a restaurant interview, the table is not just where you eat. It is where you are truly evaluated. And those who understand this — who walk in prepared, poised and gracious — will always leave a lasting impression.

Meet our newest contributor, Isabel. E. Martinez, who was educated in Business Management at the Universidad Católica Andrés Bello, in Caracas, Venezuela. After relocating for a few years to Miami, Florida, Isabel developed a company teaching computer skills. Among her clients were Baccardi in Bermuda, and Mavesa, Telcel (Movistar), and Heinz in Venezuela. That is when she discovered her passion for teaching. As her children became adults, she shifted her focus and dedicated her time to teach on subjects she is very passionate about; Hospitality and Table Etiquette. Throughout workshops in English and in Spanish, Isabel works with employees in the hospitality industry, and those business professionals who when interacting with customers, would like to make sure that they are the most professional representations of their companies. Especially when attending business lunches and events. She also offers youth and teen courses in etiquette, helping them to excel with integrity and pride in whatever field they desire to pursue. To learn more about Isabel, visit her website: www.learningschool2.com or @isasetiquette 

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Taking Advantage of Hospitality

Nisei is referring to a person in the United States or Canada born, to a Japanese immigrant. Evidently back in the 1930s, some Nisei born in the US, felt quite comfortable taking a handful of cigarettes from a hostess’s or host’s cigarette box, to put in their pockets for later, as opposed to just taking one at a time, much to the chagrin of their immigrant parents… 

“We have gone to social affairs where hostesses have had cigarette boxes lying around with cigarettes therein. And we have seen some Nisei open these boxes and help themselves to it without asking the hostess, or even having received her invitation to do the same. Of course, we know that the cigarettes are there for the benefit of the guests; but we hardly think that it is good etiquette for the guests to help themselves to it, when the hostess has not said, ‘Please help yourselves.’” – It was common for hosts and hostesses to have boxes of cigarettes, usually highly decorative, in their homes for guests. Like with bowls of candy, however, Etiquette dictated that one should wait until offered a cigarette before taking one, and only one, at a time. Good manners would keep most people from grabbing several at one time to stick in their pockets! – 

Above, An early 20th C. Art Deco Glass Cigarette Box and Lid by Cambridge Glass Co. As Etiquipedia does not smoke, hers is used to hold cotton swabs on her vanity tray.

In “I’m Telling You, DEIRDRE!” 

A Breach of Nisei Etiquette

While we are on the subject of Nisei manners and such, another thing comes to our mind which we cannot help mentioning. Most likely many of our young Nisei friends have noticed the common sin which we are about to mention, as well some of our hostess friends.

We have gone to social affairs where hostesses have had cigarette boxes lying around with cigarettes therein. And we have seen some Nisei open these boxes and help themselves to it without asking the hostess, or even having received her invitation to do the same. Of course, we know that the cigarettes are there for the benefit of the guests; but we hardly think that it is good etiquette for the guests to help themselves to it, when the hostess has not said, “Please help yourselves.”

Another thing which is a more glaring faux pas that we have seen some Nisei boys commit, is that one of grabbing a handful of these cigarettes and pocketing them. We are sure the hostess or host may not be stingy but it is hardly good form for the guests to “chisel” in this manner. At least, it does not look very nice to an observer on the side. 

Our readers may have seen at some time or another, a similar breach of etiquette committed with candies and other such refreshments. Our Issei elders and hosts have often commented on this to us, and we do happen to know that they are very displeased at such actions on the part of the Nisei. 

One Issei man told us that he has actually seen college students and so-called college graduates doing these things as well as the younger high school “kids.” Even if our young people are not really bad people, the Issei are very likely to judge us by these actions, and of course the impressions that we leave behind are hardly favorable.

Often we do these things because we are careless and thoughtless rather than intentional or downright rudeness. About the only thing which we can do to remedy the situation with our young people is to point out some of our shortcomings can check up on themselves. — The New World Sun, 1938

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Carelessness of Dress

 “Remember when it meant a special new bonnet, something to inspire an Irving Berlin song? Remember when you looked forward to the special new outfit to be worn on that day and when you'd not dream of going to church without hat and gloves? What changed it all? You could blame on credit everything from a general letdown in our requirements for etiquette, to rebellion against the "older generation" standards, to a new lifestyle that simply left no time for daily grooming requirements such as washing white gloves and shining one's shoes.— Etiquipedia cannot recall what year exactly it was in the 1960’s she and her sisters stopped getting new Easter dresses, bonnets, white shoes and white gloves, but toward the later 1960’s, Southern California was decidedly trending in a more laid back and casual style than much of the rest of the United States. 

Has Carelessness Become the Mode?

"Her dresses always looked as though they had been designed in a rage and put on in a tempest...she tried to look picturesque but only succeeded in being untidy... like a bird of paradise that had been out all night in the rain." Those words were written in 1890-91 by Oscar Wilde in "The Picture of Dorian Gray."

They could just as well be a commentary today on the way so many women are dressing. That "casual" look in clothes, in other words, has gone just too far. It's time for a return to some sanity, some semblance of elegance, clothes to make men's eyes turn in admiration instead of astonishment. My suggestion is that we start spring by dressing up again.

Why not begin with Easter Sunday? Remember when it meant a special new bonnet, something to inspire an Irving Berlin song? Remember when you looked forward to the special new outfit to be worn on that day and when you'd not dream of going to church without hat and gloves?

What changed it all? You could blame credit on everything from a general letdown in our requirements for etiquette, to rebellion against the "older generation" standards, to a new lifestyle that simply left no time for daily grooming requirements such as washing white gloves and shining one's shoes.

You can say it all happened because we no longer had our fashion image makers constantly before us. White-gloved Princess Grace went off to royal duties and bringing up a family in Monaco. The Duchess of Windsor, a supreme example of elegance, went almost into seclusion after the death of the Duke, Britain's former King.

Even Jacqueline Kennedy changed. When she was First Lady, Women's Wear Daily gave her another title-“Her Elegance." Then women copied everything, from the now Mrs, Aristotle Onassis’ pillbox hats to her smart, lower-heeled shoes, and admired or envied her regal look when she entertained heads of state.

Now, more often than not, we catch pictures of Mrs. Onassis windblown, wearing the eternal dark glasses, in pants and "poor boy" pullover tops, (Or, in the case of one Italian magazine's claim, her altogether.)

Somewhere we traded in neatness for carelessness and I think acceptance of pants everywhere - office, shopping, even the most elegant restaurants helped pull down the barriers.

I am not anti-pantsuits so much as pro-skirts. Trousers have a definite place on the modern scene and I confess that I'm wearing them even as I write this at the office. But often there is some feminine rebellion that says, "Put on a dress today, and immediately I feel more like a woman.

I take no strong stand one way or another on hats. They go handsomely with some faces, terribly with others. Apparently the young are helping to bring them back for the millinery industry reports a thriving business this spring.

One of my earliest childhood memories, however, is of my mother in a new hat on Easter one of pale gray straw, brim covered with big flowers in assorted pinks, the whole thing a frame for her blonde Gibson Girl hair style, I thought then (and I still do) that she was one of the loveliest creatures I'd ever seen,

For whatever it's worth as the final word, the 19th century German philosopher Nietzsche once wrote, "Has a woman who knew that she was well-dressed ever caught a cold?"– By Gay Pauley, UPI Women's Editor, 1973

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Napkin Etiquette and Usage

Its relevance is so significant, that in Buckingham Palace, when setting the table for a state dinner, an expert is dedicated to the art of the napkin, from the importance of the fabric, its washing, ironing and of course folding and placement of the napkins for the laying of the table. — Image from the book “For the Royal Table: Dining at the Palace” and was created by “The Royal Collection” in Great Britain. 

What makes a napkin? A piece of cloth (or occasionally paper), almost always square, that’s main purpose is to dab or wipe food away from our mouths while eating or drinking. 

If we have children, it seems that we continually pick up and wipe them with napkins… accidents at the table when a drink spills, or food that falls onto the table or children themselves. In other words, napkins at a dinner table are indispensable.

I believe that napkins also “speak”. I believe napkins have their own identity, as I say. It is “their language”. Their physical appearance: fabric, color, design, how we place them, where we put them… they say so much.

The napkin can be square or rectangular, depending on the time of the meal, the size of the napkin varies. If it is for cocktails, it is small and square. If it is for dinner, we use the largest sized napkin, usually in a rectangle. 

On the internet we can find a lot of different ways of how to fold them to “present” them at the table. Various shapes have come in and out of fashion over the centuries. The most important thing is our creativity and intention to achieve something nice in such an important moment as sharing a meal with our loved ones.

The napkin is the first thing we see when we sit down in a restaurant for a business lunch, a romantic dinner, or simply a nice meal with our friends. Its presentation influences in such a way that just with a napkin we can instinctively know what to expect from that meeting and meal.

Its relevance is so significant, that in Buckingham Palace, when setting the table for a state dinner, an expert is dedicated to the art of the napkin, from the importance of the fabric, its washing, ironing and of course folding and placement of the napkins for the laying of the table.

The napkin is presented on the table, almost always on top of the plate or to our left at the beginning of the fork sequence.

When we sit at the table before starting a meal we place the napkin across our laps. If during the meal we have to get up, it is best to leave it on the seat of the chair, although depending on the casualness of where we are dining, we can occasionally leave a napkin slightly crumpled on the left side of the setting until we return. When we finish eating, we will leave it on the left side of the setting, but only when the meal is finished and everyone is getting up to leave the table.

All these rules are important, so that the rest of the participants, especially the waiters and waitresses, know how to proceed.

Details as simple as those if made by our children decorating the table at home to the sophisticated tables in elegant restaurants, all leave a mark to remember.

Meet our newest contributor, Isabel. E. Martinez, who was educated in Business Management at the Universidad Católica Andrés Bello, in Caracas, Venezuela. After relocating for a few years to Miami, Florida, Isabel developed a company teaching computer skills. Among her clients were Baccardi in Bermuda, and Mavesa, Telcel (Movistar), and Heinz in Venezuela. That is when she discovered her passion for teaching. As her children became adults, she shifted her focus and dedicated her time to teach on subjects she is very passionate about; Hospitality and Table Etiquette. Throughout workshops in English and in Spanish, Isabel works with employees in the hospitality industry, and those business professionals who when interacting with customers, would like to make sure that they are the most professional representations of their companies. Especially when attending business lunches and events. She also offers youth and teen courses in etiquette, helping them to excel with integrity and pride in whatever field they desire to pursue. To learn more about Isabel, visit her website: www.learningschool2.com or @isasetiquette

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Server Theatrics? Or Better Service?

Judith Martin (aka Miss Manners) is one of my favorite writers of etiquette. Witty and knowledgeable, her answers are pure gold and sometimes hilariously funny. But Etiquipedia wonders if she was ever employed in the restaurant industry. If she had been, perhaps this answer wouldn’t have been nearly as interesting, nor as funny. Having been a manager many years ago, in a very popular Newport Beach restaurant, Etiquipedia knows that kneeling down to a table was not a common servers’ trick to get a higher tip back in the day. It was, oftentimes, to hear the patrons’ orders more clearly. When a server is standing in a very noisy establishment, possibly with their ears a few feet from customers’ voices, it’s very difficult to hear the food orders being placed. Even when it was quiet in the restaurant, many diners have a bad habit of looking down at their menus while reading from them and placing their orders. Kneeling down was one way to put the servers’ ears closer to the customers’ voices. This is something I have taught in my youth advanced classes for 36 years: Look up and directly at servers’ faces when ordering from them. Timid voices of young people often don’t carry in loud restaurant settings. Those voices don’t reach the servers’ ears.”

Kneeling shouldn't earn waiter extra tip according to Miss Manners… 

Etiquipedia however wonders, should it?

Dear Miss Manners: I have noticed some very strange behavior in several nice restaurants. “Servers” (no longer called waiters) getting down on their knees or squatting to take my order. These servers are young, but still! My friend asked one why, and he replied that he was tired. I asked another, and he replied that he didn't like to exhibit physical dominance over customers. It is all rather startling. Is this a new custom in the making?

Gentle Reader: New? Miss Manners assures you that this is an Elizabethan custom. Those who served the Lord of the castle and his most honored guests, did so from a kneeling position. They were called “servers” or “sewers.”

You have probably wandered into an Elizabethan restaurant, or posibly a time warp. Do the servers kiss your napkin, as well as taste your food, to make sure that it is not poisoned? You might test Miss Manners’ theory by calling “Sewer!” to see if one responds, or by throwing the bones on the floor to see if this is the approved way of busing one’s plate.

No, wait. If this posture has to do with the new claim that people tip more to servers who hover below them, rather than above them, Miss Manners’ tests would probably not be a good idea. Neither, in that case, would be increased tipping, which would only encourage this silliness. —By Miss Manners, Press Democrat, 1996

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia