The “Red Book of Good Social Form”

Before Emily Post’s blue book of “Etiquette,” there was W.C. Green’s “red book of etiquette.” His “Dictionary of Etiquette,” was easy to read, well-reviewed and extremely popular. It was first published in 1904 and is still being sold today. Below is what W.C. Green had to say about bachelors’ dinners of the day.

BACHELORS' DINNERS. They follow the usual custom of formal dinners, and may be as elaborate as desired. Women may be invited. Such dinners are often given for men only.

CALLS. Women do not call upon a bachelor after attending a dinner given by him.

CHAPERONE. If women are present, a married woman as chaperone is indispensable, and her husband must also be invited. The host should call upon the chaperone and personally request the favor. The chaperone is taken into dinner by the
host, unless the latter takes in the woman in whose honor the dinner may be given. In the latter case, the chaperone is seated at the host's left. She gives the signal for the women to leave the dining-room. All guests should be introduced to the chaperone, and she should be called upon after a short time by the host.

DRESS. All guests wear evening dress.

HOST. The host should call upon the chaperone within a few days after the dinner. If men only are present, he either precedes or follows the guests into the dining-room, and if he has given the dinner in honor of some man, he has the latter seated at his right. His duties are the same as the host at dinners.

INVITATIONS. These are usually given in brief notes, but may be engraved, and are similar to the regular invitations to dinners, and are treated accordingly.

MEN. The men wear evening dress, and follow the same etiquette as at other dinners.

WOMEN. The women wear evening dress, and follow the same etiquette as at all dinners, except that no calls are made by them afterward upon the host. –“A Dictionary of Etiquette,” W. C. Green's red book on social good form, 1904

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Gilded Age Travel Correspondence

“It is a convenience that first class hotels should abolish and a sort of cheap advertisement that does no credit to the proprietor or the hotel patrons.” Nevertheless, it is a convenience of which not a few people, usually regarded as well bred, avail themselves.

Items About Letters

“The practice of writing letters or notes at hotels on paper with a view of the house is beneath comment,” according to a feminine authority on etiquette. "No man or woman of culture would commit such an error. It is a convenience that first class hotels should abolish and a sort of cheap advertisement that does no credit to the proprietor or the hotel patrons." Nevertheless, it is a convenience of which not a few people, usually regarded as well bred, avail themselves. 

More generally practiced is the following from the same source, "When writing letters at a country house, stamp them before they are collected for the post; your host is not supposed to pay your postage. Out of town people usually have a heavy mail and can spare no time to attend to the minor details of their guests' correspondence." — The San Jose Herald, 1893

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Gilded Age Elevated Simple Celery

Anytime I find an old patented item in patent archives, which has something to do with food, dining, or serving foods, I get excited. Especially if it’s something I’ve never seen brought to life via old Antiques listed online or in shops. This is one. I don’t believe I’ve seen before. I don’t think it was made or put into production of any kind.

This one is from the Gilded Age and the Gilded Age was a period in which some of today’s simplest sounding foods, could be considered exotic or very important to one’s dining peers. Celery was one such food. That is because celery was perishable, meaning only the truly wealthy could have it at a variety of times in the year they could afford to preserve it in ice and any other manner that was modern in the late 1800s. The poor and lower classes could not afford such a luxury item.

As I’ve shown before in posts here, Celery was rather special. It was elevated at the table in special receptacles, called celery vases. We think of vases as being for holding flowers or purely decorative. Hostesses in the late 19 century displayed celery in them. The simple green stalks with leaves had their own fabulous vessels at the table? Of course! How else was a host supposed to show them off? 

Celery vases came in silver, plate, and sterling, crystal and even delicate china. What was paired with celery stalks? Salt. Another food which most modern dinner guests consider a very humble addition to the table, with no knowledge of how important salt has been throughout history, and to life itself. Below is a portion of an article A Glimpse of Victorian, Middle-Class Dining from 2021. Below that is an explanation of the patented vase and salt holder.

“The impact of new technologies-such as in food processing, meatpacking, refrigeration and rapid transportation-and their relation to food, menu planning and serving implements was also explored. As more foods became available, their status was often reflected by the utensils designed for their service and display. If you look at the implements, you can make some assumptions about the value people placed on certain types of foods.

A blown and engraved footed glass vase for serving celery for example, and a glass and silverplate sardine box and sterling silver sardine server decorated with fish motifs, gives an indication of the regard held for foods now common place, that were once considered rare and unique. “When celery was a high status food, it was displayed high on the table; as it became widely available, it was relegated to low, flat dishes.” Ms. Williams said.

Similarly, a silver-plate cup on a pivotal base was designed with a spiral hook inside, on which an orange could be twisted and firmly held in place as it was rotated, and then eaten with a special knife and spoon. The objects in the show were selected to illustrate a range of styles from simple to ornate. One interesting thing about the exhibition was that it took an object and then showed how elaborate its presentation might have been. Sterling silver and cut glass were used by the upper class while items in pressed glass and silver-plate were used by the middle-class. — Portions of this are from an article published in the New York Times, April 3, 1988

UNITED STATES PATENT OFFICE

FRANK C. WINSHIP, OF BRIDGEPORT, OHIO, ASSIGNOR TO LA BELLE GLASS COMPANY, OF SAME PLACE

DESIGN FOR COMBINED GLASS VESSELS

Specific invention forming part of Design No. 10,954, dated December 10, 1878; application filed November 22, 1878.  [Term of patent 37 years.] 

To all whom it may concern:

Be it known that I, FRANK C. WINSHIP, of Bridgeport, in the county of Belmont and State of Ohio, have invented a new Design for Combined Glass Vessel; and I do hereby declare the following to be a full, clear, and exact description of the same, reference being had to the accompanying drawings, forming part of this specification, in which—

Figure 1 is a perspective view, and Fig. 2 a bottom plan. Similar letters of reference in the several figures denote the same parts.
The vessel for which my design is specially adapted is a combination of a small “individual" salt-holder with a larger holder adapted to contain celery, or to hold a napkin, or, by reducing its size, to be used as an egg-glass, or for other similar table use; and my design consists in the arrangement of an elongated flat bar, e, with an upwardly-projecting annular flange, constituting the salt-holder, and by an upwardly-projecting stem supporting a bowl or goblet shaped vessel, constituting the celery holder, or its equivalent, said salt-holder and celery-holder being independent of each other, except as connected by the base-plate. This necessarily gives the whole combination a peculiar configuration, which is the subject of this invention, independently of any particular ornamentation of the combined vessel.

In the drawings, B is the base; S, the salt-holder, and C the celery-holder, arranged as above described. The edges of the base may be fluted, as shown at a, and the sides of the salt-holder may be fluted as shown at e. mm are crossed marks or indentations on the under side of the base, that show through it and add to the beauty of the device.

I claim as my invention- The design for a combined vessel for table use, herein described, consisting, essentially, in the elongated flat glass base-plate B, supporting the annular salt-vesselS, and the stem and bowl C, arranged with relation to each other in the form substantially as described.

FRANK C. WINSHIP.

Witnesses:
J. A. HARRIS, 

T. C. ROWLES

Contributor Maura Graber has been teaching etiquette to children, teens and adults, and training new etiquette instructors, since 1990, as founder and director of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette.  She is also a writer, has been featured in countless newspapers, magazines and television shows and was an on-air contributor to PBS in Southern California for 15 years. Along with teaching etiquette to all ages and giving talks on old flatware, she was an etiquette consultant for 2 seasons of the HBO – Julian Fellowes’ series, “The Gilded Age” and continues to consult on historical dining and social etiquette.

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Craziness of Kings and Queens

 The intellectual degeneracy of etiquette monarchs may have a good deal to do with the Sybaritism of their palace life.

Why Monarchs Were Insane

Pathologists have often pointed out the fact that physical and mental enervation are apt to go hand in hand, and the intellectual degeneracy of etiquette monarchs may have a good deal to do with the Sybaritism of their palace life.

The plebeian functions which mediaval sovereigns were obliged to perform by proxy included the adjustment of their gala gloves. They had flunkies to remove their cravats and warm their nightshirts, unplait their pigtails and tuck up their bedclothes around their shoulders. In the morning courtiers competed for the honor of holding their washbasin. Peers of the realm waited on bended knees to buckle their shoes. 

If the inheritor of a legitimate throne lifted a spoon to break an egg. Lynx-eyed lackeys anticipated his needs with the agility of trained conjurers. Like his food, his information on current topics was served ready dressed and cooked, till he turned into a masticating machine and repeater of conventional twaddle.-Lippincott's, 1901

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Europe’s Noble Ragamuffins

After several days of reading about the merchandising of the House of Windsor, where only those claiming the moniker “Sussex” were hanging around with their wallets open, it was refreshing to read how many Americans have always viewed such Noble Ragamuffins. It’s also a good reminder that forks have only been common at America’s tables since the 1830’s to 1840’s. ~According to a quick Google search, I was able to glean this information on Fishbladder’s book: Based on an 1893 edition of the Eldora Enterprise, the “Handbook of Indoor Etiquette” was a fictional or satirical, yet influential, manual credited to the “immortal professor Fishbladder.” It served as a guide for high society in Chicago, emphasizing refined manners such as eating peas with a fork, promoting dull-finished jewelry, and encouraging quiet elegance in style to combat uncouth elements.- From newspaper archives .com

We are not giving ourselves any uneasiness about the visit of the Infanta Eulalie to Chicago. All this talk about our inability to keep up our end of the rules of etiquette is simply so much fiction calculated to belittle our cultured society. Chicago has not been idle the last four years. 

Ever since the immortal Professor A. J. Fishbladder came into the midst of us and taught us how to eat peas with a fork we have been able to hold our own against the rest of creation. There was a time when some uncouth elements in our society denounced Fishbladder as a charlatan. All these persecutions did Fishbladder suffer with the patient, unprotesting meekness of a medieval Christian martyr, and now, lo and behold, the harvest has come, and we glory in the fruition of his teachings.

It is to Fishbladder that we are largely indebted for our ability to toady, miscellaneously and abjectly, to the vast and unassorted lot of foreign titled nincompoops and knaves that is being spawned upon this country at this time. So long as the Fishbladder "Handbook of Indoor Etiquette" holds out its saving grace we need have no fear for Chicago's culture, and we can confidently view the swelling influx of Europe's noble ragamuffins. -Chicago Record. 1895

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Medieval Times Dining Madness

Even the noble families in England in the Middle Ages shared common plates and cups, used fingers instead of forks, licked their plates, wiped their teeth on the tablecloth… 

OLD CUSTOMS SEEM CURIOUS

Common Plates and Cups Were Once Shared 

and 

Diners Fought for the Biggest Share of Portions

Noble families in England in the Middle Ages shared common plates and cups, used fingers instead of forks, licked their plates, wiped their teeth on the tablecloth, and scrambled for the largest portion, says the Detroit News. Books on etiquette issued in the Fifteenth century pointed out that these things were not good manners. The art of cooking in the Middle Ages flourished, however, cooks excelling at artistic and rich confectionery.

Dancing in medieval times was true to its name. Dancers really moved with nimbleness and agility instead of slowly posturing round the room in the manner of modern dancers. The noble and his family and servants lived and slept in the great hall of the castle, with next to no privacy. A better state of things evolved gradually, more rooms being added and more windows put in, insuring greater seclusion for the lord and his family. — The Banner, 1923

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette, Diplomats and Uniforms

Mr. Sanford resigned on a point of etiquette. He had adopted the “Marcy uniform” — that is, a plain dress for State occasions…

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“Did the U.S. Ever Require Diplomatic Uniforms? Before the Department of State formally established uniforms in 1817, American diplomats often designed their own. That year, the State Department prescribed an official ‘civilian suit’ modeled after what U.S. delegates wore to the Conference of Ghent in 1814, which ended the War of 1812. Even then, uniforms were mostly reserved for ceremonial occasions, and the practice quickly fell out of favor. By 1853, Secretary of State William L. Marcy issued a circular recommending that U.S. diplomats simply wear ‘the simple dress of an American citizen’ (U.S. Department of State, 2003). Still, many foreign governments preferred a standardized diplomatic uniform for formal events, which left American diplomats to decide for themselves. That flexibility made the U.S. stand out in the 19th century—and it continues to set the tone today, as uniforms remain common in many other diplomatic corps around the world” — From a terrific article by Victoria Monroy on LinkedIn.

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Above — Wearing the official Belgian diplomatic uniform, Baron Henri Beyens photographed in 2011. Courtesy of Wikipedia

A Question of Dress

Mr. Sandford, for a long time Secretary of Legation at Paris, has resigned, and Mr. Pratt, of Ohio, is to have the place. Mr. Sanford resigned on a point of etiquette. He had adopted the Marcy uniform — that is, a plain dress for State occasions — and Mr. Mason had determined that the Legation should adhere to the court dress heretofore worn, and the difficulty being in itself irreconcilable, Mr. Sandford resigned. Our foreign missions must be important when dress is the principal subject of discussion and dissension.—The San Joaquin Republican, 1854

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Frugality Encouraged

“And let me furthermore mention two ways which eat out the annual income in a more sure and telling way than the corruption of moth and rust; extravagance in dress on the part of women, and tobacco on the part of men. Nothing can be said on these subjects that has not already been said, but I often think that the one sex winks at the extravagances of the other, on the principle that those who live in glass houses should not throw stones, and vice versa.” — Above, a Gilded Age, ornate sterling check-cutter by George Shiebler. Before checks were perforated, they came in large sheets, usually 3 at a time. Check cutters on desks became very helpful to businessmen. Oftentimes, they came in backs were marked with inches, meaning they doubled as rulers. From the Etiquipedia private collection.

How to Reduce Household Expenses

To the Editor of the New-York Times:Having read an article under this head in today's (Jan. 19) TIMES, I am anxious to state some other methods whereby to lessen the extravagances of living. In the first place, the wasteful ways of housekeepers and servants might be avoided, for as we learned in our first efforts at ‘Tis willful waste makes woeful want.” A large proportion of our people throw away what is left from one meal to another, from one day to an other, from one season to another; or if not at the moment willfully thrown away, the fragments are left so unprotected from dust and insects as to be utterly worthless when called for.

The same waste extends through out many households, from waste of food and clothing, to a careless treatment of all the articles required in housekeeping, so that what should last any family a lifetime needs to be replenished every year. The best carpets are swept with the street brooms, the lace and damask are left unprotected from dust, the little articles of vertu are knocked about by ruthless hands, the soft blankets, which every one must know are apt to be ruined in washing, are thrown upon the floor; the metal-ware is left wet, and the wooden-ware is left dry; the oil-cloths and painted wood-work are everlastingly scoured with soap, though this latter device for throwing money into the fire is supposed to be owing to a secret understanding with the house-painters.

I might prolong these enumerations, as it is not only when china breaks that the housekeeper feels undone, but I will pass to the remedy. Let every one understand what are the real needs of a household, put their own shoulder to the wheel as an assistant before ever dreaming of directing others; learn by actual experience the very best way of doing every kind of house-work, and at once some progress is made toward improving the state of affairs. Where every one is in a phlegmatic state of content, what need of change? 

It is a dissatisfaction with the present way that paves a new way. And let me furthermore mention two ways which eat out the annual income in a more sure and telling way than the corruption of moth and rust; extravagance in dress on the part of women, and tobacco on the part of men. Nothing can be said on these subjects that has not already been said, but I often think that the one sex winks at the extravagances of the other, on the principle that those who live in glass houses should not throw stones, and vice versa. 

It is not the taxation alone which makes it so difficult to live. Rents are somewhat reduced, bread and milk are less in price, meat is very much cheaper, butter is cheaper than during the war, tea and coffee are twenty percent, all cotton and worsted goods are cheaper, all cotton cheaper. Shoes would be cheaper if people would be content to cover the foot, but it the shoemaker must furnish enough extra leather to cover the leg also, should we wonder if he charges extra? Almost every shoe-store offers of good shoes of an old style at a low price.

I do not ask that our people should make dawdies of themselves, but that they should throw the blame at the right place-not at the country, not at the Government, but at that little altar of laziness and vanity in their own breasts. As to the tobacco drain, let any one notice the prices affixed to the cigars in the cases at the stores, then remark the number of those consumed in one day by the individual, and remember that in the year there are 365 days; let him notice these straws, and he will see why his money blows away, and why he has nothing to lay up against a rainy day.

I very much fear that when some of the weightier taxes are removed, our people will feel they have means to soar into still greater extravagance than ever. Ours is a soaring nation, its wings never having been clipped by such limitations as rule England and Germany, and it is only that rare quality, common sense, which can teach us to soar in the right direction. – A “Reader” in the New York Times, January 21, 1872

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia © Etiquette Encyclopedia