A Book Browser’s Take on Emily Post

The modern ideal of hospitality… from the 1937 printing of Emily Post’s Blue Book of Etiquette – Friendliness, rather than formality, is expressed in every detail of this enchanting picture.

“The Browser” Talks of Books

LAUGH AT Mrs. Emily Post and her etiquette book if you want, but the Browser from now on is on her side of the car tracks. He has just given an hour of his invaluable time to hopping and skipping around in her massive tome, “The Blue Book of Social Usage,” and he is a changed man. If he ever sniffed at Mrs. Post he was a blundering idiot and did not know that the basis of her philosophy of etiquette is always tact, taste, consideration, convenience and courtesy Her “good form” is not conspicuous waste of gesture but a streamlined remodeling of conduct to suit the requirements of 1937. And the Browser approves, and he knows very few members of the human species who would not profit from rambling through the 877 pages of Mrs. Post's “Etiquette.”

The Browser doesn't go to opera, so he isn't interested in knowing what to do with an opera hat that he doesn't own. Neither does he dance, so he skips the chapter on dancing. He was raised among artichokes, so her little paragraph on how to eat them is wasted on him. But many of the other tips and commands she gives would be very useful to him, and they would keep other people from recognizing him for the savage that he essentially is.

She’s no fuss budget. Mrs. Post tells you not to put your elbows on the table in a private home, but at a small table in a restaurant she does not forbid it. She does not tell young women they mustn’t smoke; but she does say that it is not yet good form for them to smoke on the street. She gives advice on office manners; she teaches the young man how to avoid boorishness; she supplies tips on how to keep the conversational ball rolling, and after turning over the pages of her book the Browser understands why 25 large printings of it have been sold since 1922. No snob gets any comfort out of Emily Post. – By Marshall Marlin, 1937

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and “Grille” Flatware

What is “Grille” Flatware? 

Also known as “Vogue” or “Viande” Flatware, the following is the story of this briefly popular style of utensils…

“Longer handles are a logical development.” — Detroit Architect, Eliel Saarinen, one of nine architects invited by the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City to design thirteen room settings for The Architect and the Industrial Arts, its eleventh exhibition of contemporary American design. The organizers requested that all furnishings and accessories for a room be included, and they stipulated that no object to be displayed could already be in production.

– Copyrighted text and images from the upcoming book by Etiquipedia© site editor, Maura J. Graber, “More What Have We Here?: Yesteryear’s Etiquette, Tools and Dining Utensils from the 16th to Mid-20th Centuries”

Tea Time Magazine recommended its use at a Tea Table back in December of 2022, “The grille or viande style was popular through the 1950s. This knife design has a shorter blade and a longer handle and is usually the size of a luncheon knife, approximately 8½ inches, which makes it attractive on the tea table. ” Etiquipedia disagrees with this advice, and believes that “Youth” or “Pudding”/ “Dessert” sized flatware is much more appropriate, if one does not own “Tea” sized flatware. In fact, many Youth sized pieces were listed as Tea sized flatware and were interchangeable.

Above, a grille-size knife… I was amused when one well known company suggested that grille sized flatware was invented for eating “delicacies from the grille.” The same company also surmised that the knives were “used for carving and serving food directly from the grill.” Perhaps this type of flatware did become popular at some point with outdoor grillers, but I have yet to find any evidence of this trend. Nor can I find any suggestion of this in advertising of the period. From a practical standpoint, knowing these feature fairly dull-edged knife blades, I cannot imagine using them for “carving” anything from the grille, unless we are discussing hamburgers. 

The Style Made its Debut in 1929

In 1929, House Beautiful Magazine interviewed Eliel Saarinen, the Finnish architect who immigrated to the U.S., on the Metropolitan Museum’s exhibit he participated in.

“Table knives,” says Eliel Saarinen, the Detroit architect who showed a dining-room at the Metropolitan Museum exhibit, have been constructed on the wrong principle. “The blades have been much longer than necessary, while the handles have been much too short, so that the user, when cutting, has always been obliged to brace his finger well down on the blade, which has obvious disadvantages.”

Mr. Saarinen has designed some new knives which are quite as attractive as they are practical, and one wonders why we have so long clung to the old irrational and conventional kind. This search for the logical and simple is leading us away from some of our outdated habits.” — House Beautiful, May 1929

More on the briefly popular Grille Flatware

This settings above feature the style flatware known as, “Grille”, “Viande” and “Vogue.” The knife is about 2/3 handle and 1/3 blade, as opposed to the normal 1/2 handle with 1/2 blade. The handle of the fork is nearly 3/4 of the fork with the bowl and tines 1/4. This “modern” style of flatware was introduced first to the public in 1927. 

According to a 2003 article by William P. Hood of Magazine Antiques, “The story begins in 1927 or 1928, when nine architects were invited by the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City to design thirteen room settings for The Architect and the Industrial Arts, its eleventh exhibition of contemporary American design. The organizers requested that all furnishings and accessories for a room be included, and they stipulated that no object to be displayed could already be in production.

The new flatware designed was sleek with patterns reminiscent of the skyscrapers dotting the skylines of modern cities. Several different American flatware companies produced the knives, forks and spoons. “The dinner knife executed by International Silver, for example, was 9 1/4 inches long, with its handle measuring about 6 inches. The handle of its dinner fork was about average (approximately 5 inches), but the functional end was shorter than usual, to match the abbreviated knife blade. The idea for the new style of table knife came from the perception that it is uncomfortable for the extended index finger to press against the narrow back (or ‘top’) of the blade when one cuts with a conventional knife.”

By 1930, the new style of flatware was available to the public, but its popularity only lasted about 25 to 30 years. The flatware shown in the setting above is the 1940 “Treasure” pattern, by Wm. Rogers. The dishes are early 1940’s “Desert Rose” Franciscan ware. — Maura J. Graber, 2023

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Decor Advice 1940

Like your prayers, their locale should be your sanctum sanctorum - your boudoir, bedroom or private den to which also confine photographs and other portraits of your family. 

Good Taste

The picture on its walls will either make or mar your living room. If its general motif is to be gay or modern, do not adorn it with religious pictures. Like your prayers, their locale should be your sanctum sanctorum - your boudoir, bedroom or private den to which also confine photographs and other portraits of your family. 

For modernistic rooms, select modernistic pictures. For pictures with simple subjects - farm landscapes, peasants, etc… - select only simple frames. Court scenes or pictures of royalty in regal regalia look best in elaborate frames.

Where walls are light, pictures should be light and vice versa. Tall, narrow pictures and wide horizontal spaces require broad pictures. Hang the picture dominating your room so that its center of interest is at the level of your eye, if you are of average height.

Readers’ Questions Answered

Dear Miss Markel: As a recent bride, I am wondering how I should sign “thank you” notes and other letters John and Mary Smith or Mary and John Smith; also how should I sign my name- Mrs. Mary Smith or Mrs. John Smith?-M. S.


Answer- “Thank you” notes for wedding gifts should be signed by the bride, but in the body of the letter some reference should be made to the groom, thus: “John and I are simply thrilled with the lovely candlesticks you sent us.” When you sign your joint signatures, “Mary and John” is better. Your signature should be Mary Smith, omitting “Mrs.” You should, however, be addressed “Mrs. John Smith” and not “Mrs. Mary.”– Francine Markel, 1940

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette for Tardy Dinner Guests

Tardiness for dinner being one of the cardinal social sins, the detained guest should certainly call his hostess on the telephone, explain his delay and insist that she shall not wait for him. On his arrival he should go to her and offer a profound apology.

How long should dinner wait for a tardy guest? This question I am asked continually.

Not more than 15 minutes at the most. Tardiness for dinner being one of the cardinal social sins, the detained guest should certainly call his hostess on the telephone, explain his delay and insist that she shall not wait for him. On his arrival he should go to her and offer a profound apology.

Reader's Questions Answered

Dear Miss Markel: Recently I was bridesmaid at the wedding of a close friend. I gave her a wedding gift. Do I have any other "musts" regarding this? –Anne

Answer: Wedding attendants, whether best man, maid of honor, bridesmaid or usher, owe a social call to the mother of the bride.

Courtesy and etiquette demand that within three weeks after the wedding you pay your respects in this manner to the family of the girl who was thoughtful enough to have included you among her very best friends.

All wedding guests, too, are expected to call. You might also entertain in honor of the bride and groom, if you wish. – Francine Markel, 1939

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette Advice for Apartment Living

To afford more space, place the table against the wall rather than in the center of the room and if possible place it against the window to afford a view of the out-or-doors. 

Dear Miss Markel– I have taken an apartment with a dining alcove. Please give me some points as to how to furnish it.- Κ. Κ.

Answer- It should have furniture harmonizing with the living room, if it opens into it. To afford more space, place the table against the wall rather than in the center of the room and if possible place it against the window to afford a view of the out-or-doors. 

If your choice lies between a case of drawers and a sideboard, choose the former which is more suitable for such a space. Unless they are unusually decorative pieces, dishes should be kept out of sight.

 

Dear Miss Markel - My living room has five windows. Could you give me any hints about decorating them ... whether I should use draperies or merely glass curtains, etc., etc.? – І. М.

Answer- The windows should be dressed uniformly. You may use draperies if you wish. If so, they should be of plain rather than of a striking pattern. Let the view from the windows, as well as the objects in the room supply your decorative effect and in this way avoid the confusion of overemphasis. — Francine Markel, 1937

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette for Travel and More, 1937

The cost of your room and meals, tips to hotel porters who carry your luggage and any other expenditures which you personally incur should be paid by you.

Dear Miss Markel- I have been invited to go on an automobile trip with four of my friends. Please tell me just what share of the expenses are mine? – Judy

Answer- The cost of your room and meals, tips to hotel porters who carry your luggage and any other expenditures which you personally incur should be paid by you.

You should offer to share the cost of gasoline, oil and garage rent for the car. Perhaps your friends will not allow you to assume any share of these items, but you will feel more comfortable for having offered to pay.

Some people on joint trips, such as this, add up the entire expenses of the trip and divide it by the number of travelers (five in your case) each bearing an equal part. 

 

Dear Miss Markel- I am to be married and intend to continue working. How should I sign checks, receipts and other papers that require my name-Mrs. Mary Smith, Mary Smith or Mrs. J. Smith? J. L. D.

Answer– “Miss” or “Mrs.” should never be used in a woman’s signature. You should sign your name: Mary Smith. – By Francine Markel, 1937

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

A Queen and “Good Taste” in 1939

Queen Elizabeth II’s mother had only been the Queen of England in for 3 years in 1939. “The Queen Mum” had never expected to be Queen to the British Empire, but suddenly found herself the symbolic mother to the nation at a time of turmoil, when her brother in-law abdicated the throne and her husband was crowned King. Learning the nuances and unique royal family etiquette must have been daunting for her. The former Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon reportedly turned down her husband’s first two proposals of marriage, even though at that time, he was merely the Duke of York. She knew there would be strict rules she would need to adhere to if marrying into the royal family.

Q– Dear Miss Markel- When one is wearing mourning what social restrictions should be observed? – “Bereaved”

A- Such social invitations as to dances, evening theater parties, teas, receptions and afternoon affairs should not be accepted, but it is in good taste to enjoy with a few intimate friends a matinee performance of a more or less serious play or picture, a quiet dinner or luncheon. If such diversion will elevate your spirits, it would be foolish in these modern times to deprive yourself of them. But regardless of your feelings, make a heroic effort to maintain an existence as active, as normal and with as many direct personal contacts as before your bereavement.

On Good Taste

“A widely read authority on etiquette states in her book that it is bad taste to wear elbow-length gloves turned back at the wrist. But in the news reels I noted that the Queen of England does this,” writes one of my myriad correspondents.

I have replied that the Queen of England, aside from being the chief mentor of etiquette within her own empire, is a higher authority on that subject than any textbook author could be. For years she has had to study minutely the technique of social usage. It is one of the major studies of every reigning house.–By Francine Markel, Watkins Syndicate Distributors, 1939

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

BBQ Etiquette for 1968

According to Elizabeth Post in 1968, fine “meals carefully planned, well-prepared, and attractively served are an essential element of etiquette.”

Barbecuing Out of Doors 

Fine meals carefully planned, well-prepared, and attractively served are an essential element of etiquette. Those of you who plan to give outdoor parties, barbecues or picnics this summer would do well to chock your knowledge in the following quiz, and to get some suggestions to make your menus better.

1. The best choice of meat for a barbecue is a big thick steak. True or False?

2. Only dishes that can be prepared on the grill are correct for a barbecue. True or False?

3. Lamb or beef “kabobs” should be prepared in advance. True or False?

4. Corn on the cob may be cooked on the grill as well as boiled. True or False?

5. Hamburgers and hot dogs are not considered “fancy” enough for adult picnics. True or False?

6. Anyone can easily prepare a clambake. True or False? 

7. A keg of beer is a good way of serving a beverage at a cook-out. True or False?

8. Potatoes must be cooked in the kitchen and brought out when the barbecue is ready. True or False?

The correct answers contain some hints for you:

1. False. Steak is the most "common” choice, but there are many equally good or better. Try kabobs, spareribs swordfish, lamb steak, or whole stuffed bass or bluefish for variety. 

2. False. Vegetable or potato casseroles may be cooked in the kitchen and taken out when the meat is ready —or kept warm near the edge of the grill. 

3. True. The actual cooking is quick and easy but the preparation of the ingredients takes some time. Some hostesses put the various items out in bowls and let the guests olad their own skewers. Messy, but fun for an informal group. 

4. True. But it must be well wrapped in foil or it will char. Some people leave the husks on instead, but I find this risky. 

5. False. “Doctored up” with cheese, herbs and seasoning, they can be real gourmet fare. 

6. False. Except for the variety prepared in a huge pot, a clambake is an all-day affair for the bakemaster. The pit must be dug and lined with rocks and the fire kept going in it for at least four hours. 

7. True. But always have soft drinks available, too. Coffee, cither iced or hot, is almost a “must.” 

8. False. Potatoes, like com on the cob, may be wrapped in foil and cooked in the coals or one the grill. – By Elizabeth Post in the Herald, 1968

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia