A 1920’s “Modern Etiquette” Sampling

Roberta Lee was a popular “Agony Aunt” who was syndicated in newspapers across the United States, answering random, but helpful, questions in her column, “Modern Etiquette” from the 1920’s through the 1960’s. Women at the time were often characterized as ditzy or flighty, like the popular comics’ page flirt, “Mopsy” (from the 1930’s through the 1960’s), and were not always taken seriously as journalists until the 1970’s and beyond.

“Modern Etiquette” of 1927 by Roberta Lee

Q. How should lobster claws be eaten?
A. They should be pulled apart and conveyed to the mouth by the fingers.

Q. Can one accept a second helping at the table if one wants it?
A. Yes, unless doing so makes the others wait.

Q. Are napkin rings still used?
A. No; they are out of date, except in the nursery.

Q. What rule governs the form of introduction?
A. It should be cordial and simple, but never careless or offhand.

Q. Is it proper for children to be introduced to adults?
A. Yes: children should be taught the significance of formal introductions.

Q. Is it bad taste to be demonstrative in public?
A. Very; well-bred people will avoid it.

Q. What are two subjects that always should be avoided in general conversation?
A. Religion and politics.

Q. In what way can a business man or woman get rid of a tiresome caller?
A. By rising, or by pleading a pressing business engagement.

Q. If a man finds himself by chance next to a woman of his acquaintance in the street car, should he offer to pay her fare? 
A. No.

Q. After attending the theater with a man, is it necessary for the woman to thank him for a pleasant evening?
A. No, unless he has in some way inconvenienced himself to be with her.

Q. If her next dance is promised, should the woman go to seek her partner?
A. No, she should wait until he comes to claim her.

Q. Should ushers at a wedding be friends of the bridegroom or of the bride?

A. The ushers are chosen from among the friends and relatives of either the bride or the groom.

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Edmund Hoyle and Whist Etiquette

 

Originally the game was called “whisk”; it was Mr. Hoyle who, by his continual utterance of the imperative and hushing monosyllable “whist!” when gaming with those whose tongues were apt to wag irrelevantly, caused the diversion…

IT WAS ACCORDING TO HOYLE…

Great Master of Popular Game Responsible for Rechristening of Game of Whist

It was an agreeable spectacle to witness Edmund Hoyle (the master of whist, whose code of etiquette for the game has been accepted for six generations) drive up to the Three Pigeons tavern at noon in his white hackney coach with his emblem - the Ace of Hearts - blazoned on the panel. Hoyle was “a man of very speechless humor,” who was lured into the study of whist because it was a silent game, says Christopher Morley, in “The Power of Sympathy.”

Originally the game was called “whisk”; it was Mr. Hoyle who, by his continual utterance of the imperative and hushing monosyllable “whist!” when gaming with those whose tongues were apt to wag irrelevantly, caused the diversion, at first only in sport, and then in genuine interest, to be rechristened. 

The mornings he spent in tutoring wealthy ladies in the rudiments of the fashionable game, this being the chief source of his income. He was very particular, moreover, as to the standing and rank of his pupils; he was much in demand and could afford to take only such students as satisfied his fastidious taste for youth and beauty. – North County Times, 1923

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

12th C. Etiquette of Noble Ladies

In the 12th century, nobles while assembled to listen to the declarations of the troubadours, took occasion to decide upon questions of courtesy and etiquette, particularly in affairs of love.– Image source, World History Encyclopedia

 

The Court of Love

The Court of Love was the name applied in the later Middle Ages to groups of noble ladies who often, while assembled to listen to the declarations of the troubadours, took occasion to decide upon questions of courtesy and etiquette, particularly in affairs of love. According to some authorities, these courts formed regular institutions during the Twelfth century. 

There was a code of 31 articles and decisions are said to have been based on this code. A typical example of the questions submitted to such tribunals is the following: “If a lady listened to one admirer, pressed the hand of another, and touched with her toe the foot of a third, which of these three was the favored suitor?” – The Ripon Report, 1924

 

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

1930’s American Etiquette Advice

When corn on the cob is so large that it requires the support of both hands, it should be held in the nap-kin and broken. The proper way to eat it is to place enough salt, butter and pepper on it for one or two.

Grab Bag Hints on 1930’s Etiquette

If you have a friend visiting you and you are invited to a party, it is correct for you to call your host or hostess and ask permission to bring your friend with you.

Unless it is necessary to show the way, a hostess usually follows her guest into a room.

When corn on the cob is so large that it requires the support of both hands, it should be held in the napkin and broken. The proper way to eat it is to place enough salt, butter and pepper on it for one or two.

If at a dinner party there is one extra lady the hostess generally goes in by herself, following behind the last couple.

When a child eats with adults, he should not be forced to sit at the table while they linger over their coffee. However, he should be taught to excuse himself.

It is poor taste to "talk shop" unless one is with private friends or with persons engaged in the same trade or profession.

–From The Imperial Valley Press, 1930’s 

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

American Table Service of 1931

This setting is with a flatware style known as “Grille”, “Viande” and “Vogue.” The knife is about 2/3 handle and 1/3 blade, as opposed to the normal 1/2 handle with 1/2 blade. The handle of the fork is nearly 3/4 of the fork with the bowl and tines 1/4. This “modern” style of flatware was introduced first to the public in 1927. According to a 2003 article by William P. Hood of Magazine Antiques, “The story begins in 1927 or 1928, when nine architects were invited by the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City to design thirteen room settings for The Architect and the Industrial Arts, its eleventh exhibition of contemporary American design. The organizers requested that all furnishings and accessories for a room be included, and they stipulated that no object to be displayed could already be in production.” The new flatware designed was sleek with patterns reminiscent of the skyscrapers dotting the skylines of modern cities. Several different American flatware companies produced the knives, forks and spoons. “The dinner knife executed by International Silver, for example, was 9 1/4 inches long, with its handle measuring about 6 inches. The handle of its dinner fork was about average (approximately 5 inches), but the functional end was shorter than usual, to match the abbreviated knife blade. The idea for the new style of table knife came from the perception that it is uncomfortable for the extended index finger to press against the narrow back (or ‘top’) of the blade when one cuts with' a conventional knife.” By 1930, the new style of flatware was available to the public, but its popularity only lasted about 25 to 30 years. The flatware shown in the setting above is the 1940 “Treasure” pattern, by Wm. Rogers.

 

1931 Standard Rules of Etiquette

Question: What is the proper table service? 

Answer: 

• On the table itself, before the guests are seated, should be the plates and glasses for each place with the glasses on the right. 

• Bread and butter plates with a small butter-knife on each are placed a little beyond and to the left of the main plate. 

• The knife, or knives, should be on the right and on the left are the forks. 

• If soup is to be served the spoon should be placed on the left with the knives. 

• Napkins are folded and placed upon the plate. 

• As for salt and pepper, they may be placed at the two corners of a small table, or at the four comers on a medium sized table or between every two places if the table is large. 

• Dishes of nuts are often found on the table, and in the small house informal meals will find condiments and appetizers on the table, although at a formal affair they will be passed by a servant. 

–Imperial Valley Press, 1931

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Leaning on the Table

  

This is not “good form,” nor hardly necessary, since every one can hear without leaning forward, but even careful and well-mannered people may occasionally relax from “form” when in intimate circles, thus becoming “informal.”

It is not correct to lean the arms or elbows on the table, and one should never allow himself this lax, if pleasant, habit unless it is at a most informal and intimate dinner where, after the main courses are finished, three or four persons draw near together over the cloth for earnest or pleasant talk. This is not “good form,” nor hardly necessary, since every one can hear without leaning forward, but even careful and well-mannered people may occasionally relax from “form” when in intimate circles, thus becoming “informal.” 

This allowable laxity does not, however, relate to such manners as would become offensive, obnoxious, or disgusting to others. To instance: it is exceedingly bad form to use a toothpick, or otherwise fuss with the teeth at a formal dinner, but it is exactly as bad form to do the same thing if there is but one other person present and that person should be a child. To see another person pick his teeth, or to hear him make sucking noises through them is disgusting, and if one does it he justly earns the censure and contumely of whoever is next.

When you sit at table, sit squarely on your chair, not on the extreme edge or at the side. Sit so you will be comfortable and then sit quietly. Do not put your feet on the rungs of the chair, or kick the table legs. – Della Thompson Lutes, 1923 

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Table Manners Must Be Practiced

Good table manners are important, not only that we may have the satisfaction of feeling certain that what we do is right, but that we may give no offense to others.

TABLE MANNERS

“For as laws are necessary that good manners be preserved, so there is need of good manners that laws may be maintained.” - Machiavelli

THE gracious hostess will have the most perfect of table manners. It is not enough to know proper customs of table usage, but one must practice them consistently. It is always easy to distinguish the truly cultured person from the one whose manners are white-washed on, so to speak, in the way he behaves at all times. If his politenesses are brought out to be used only before company, they are sure to have an ill-fitting appearance, to creak in the hinges as it were. He is self- conscious, ill at ease, and not sufficiently sure of himself to forget himself. 

He has to keep looking on at his own actions to see if they are coming out all right. The person who knows correct behavior and practices it continually never has to think whether what he is doing is correct or not. He can go ahead and talk or laugh or listen, and all the time his fingers and hands and mouth will be behaving quite nicely, not giving offense to himself or any one else.

The best way to be sure of good manners is to learn them when you are quite young and then persist until they become a habit. Good table manners are important, not only that we may have the satisfaction of feeling certain that what we do is right, but that we may give no offense to others.

Eating may become an unpleasant affair, if one is careless about the way in which it is done. Sit beside a person for an hour who gobbles his soup, smacks his lips, chews noisily, sucks his teeth, wiggles in his chair, shoves the silver about, and see whether you feel that you have had a pleasant and enjoyable meal. The obvious answer is, don't do any of these things, but there are a good many other and lesser “don't's” with which it is well to be acquainted. — From “The Gracious Hostess” by Della Thompson Lutes, 1923

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Doings at Ducal House

The Figaro says that the Duchess of Marlborough (formerly Miss Consuelo Vanderbilt) has been led by the praise of injudicious friends to overrate her elocutionary gifts to such an extent that her “Victims” have nicknamed her the “Demon Reciter.” –
Though she eventually became an integral part of the British peerage, when the newly minted Duchess from the U.S. was skewered regularly in the press after first marrying the Duke of Marlborough. Above is a newspaper cartoon poking fun of the newly minted Duchess’s authenticity.

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