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| By 1976, Elizabeth Post approved of carrying away leftovers from dinner in some restaurants, especially considering the high cost of food at the time. “You shouldn't take gooey things,” she said, “but it's only sensible to take steak or a chicken leg or an untouched chop or half a loaf of bread. Not at a really fancy restaurant, of course. But a really good restaurant is not apt to serve too much.” |
A trip to Alaska changed Elizabeth Post’s mind about the propriety of accepting doggy bags in restaurants when faced with a meal too large to eat.
“We were served the most enormous portions seen any place,” said Mrs. Post, granddaughter-in-law of etiquette authority Emily Post. “Even the men in our party couldn't begin to finish them. The waiter asked if we wanted to take the (leftover) steak with us for a picnic tomorrow.”
The answer was a unanimous “yes.” In an interview, Mrs. Post talked about changing manners and mores in the 1970s.
She deplored the service of large portions in restaurants. “It's just terrible when they bring huge portions uninvited. Men can eat them, but women can't.”
While she now approves of carrying away leftovers from dinner in some restaurants, especially considering the high cost of food, “You shouldn't take gooey things,” she said, “but it's only sensible to take steak or a chicken leg or an untouched chop or half a loaf of bread. Not at a really fancy restaurant, of course. But a really good restaurant is not apt to serve too much.”
At the same time, Mrs. Post disapproves of ordering one portion for two persons in most restaurants.
“It isn't fair to the restaurant. You are paying for one meal, but using two places.”
Since 1944 Mrs. Post has carried on her grandmother-in-law's tradition of writing about etiquette. She has a syndicated column and has updated Emily Post's Etiquette, a book first published in 1922. It reflects the present Mrs. Post’s new attitude about doggy bags and other changing social customs, including showers and birth announcements for unwed mothers. But some things never change, she said.
"Table manners exist for a very good reason. They were devised to make eating more attractive. Chewing with your mouth open is not, for instance.
“Weddings are largely unchanged. The majority of girls still wear white, still have bridesmaids and ushers, still exchange vows and promises, still have receptions with toasts to the bride and bridegroom and still have flowers.”
She said many readers ask how to handle introductions of their daughter's housemate of the opposite sex.
"I would say, ‘This is my daughter's friend, John.’ I don't think it is necessary to say more.
“I have had lots of interesting conversations about this. One friend in Vermont (where Mrs. Post and her husband, William, live) introduces her daughter's friend as ‘my son-outlaw.’ I also know people who say co-habitant or co-vivant.”
She also gets questions from people like the couple who took their infant daughter along when a neighbor asked them to drop in for cocktails and supper, but didn't say it was going to be a party. They were appalled to discover that a dozen or more guests were expected. The wife said they felt so out of place they apologized and went home.
People also ask what to do about bringing an uninvited guest.
“It is almost always possible to ask if you can bring someone,” Mrs. Post said. “It is perfectly possible for a hostess to say, ‘no.’”
But she also should say why, Mrs. Post said, and add, “I'm terribly sorry, I'll get you another time.” — By United Press International in the Hanford Journal, 1976
