Etiquette for When In a Street Car

Inquisitive curiosity, talking over private affairs, making unpleasant remarks within hearing of those talked about – these all show the observer that politeness, which is etiquette, is unknown in that quarter.

Upon entering a street car, those who know how to behave will take a seat quietly, without trying to attract attention or in any manner making themselves conspicuous. 

Names should not be mentioned; gossip should be strictly avoided; a pleasant acknowledgment of small courtesies, such as a move to permit of passing and all those small things that in themselves seem of no importance, but in the aggregate speak loudly of the perfection of good breeding or the lack of it, as the case may be.

Inquisitive curiosity, talking over private affairs, making unpleasant remarks within hearing of those talked about – these all show the observer that politeness, which is etiquette, is unknown in that quarter. – The Trinity Journal, 1914

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Encyclopedia of Etiquette 

Good Form in Public 1923

Well-bred folk the world over are unostentatious in public. It is a notable fact that in almost all countries of the world, navy blue, gray not too pale in tone, and black, are preferred colors for streetwear. The sole exception to this rule is the hot countries, where on account of the climate, white is worn.

• In street, ferry, restaurant or theater, a well-bred person will conduct himself so as to draw no attention to himself. Loud voices, noticeable gesticulation, conversation in which absent friends are called by name in tones easily overheard by bystanders, all these are marks of those who “don't belong.”
• In a crowd, never hail a friend by calling his name, if he is some distance away, for it is not necessary that you should thus inform those who block the way, of your friend's identity. Either you must contrive to pass and join him, or else catch his eye and bow.
• Jostling and elbowing away through a throng of people is not to be thought of, except by those who do not care how undignified they appear in the eyes of others.
• In public — as elsewhere —ladies and gentlemen are guided by the principle of consideration for others, and respect for the rights of others.
• In any line of people waiting for tickets and the like, each person should wait his turn. A woman has no right to place herself ahead of earlier comers —just because she is a woman.
• Kissing, embracing, and excitable greetings, on the part of two women who spy each other in a public place, is out of place. Neither, in conversation, is it well-bred to clasp the hand of the person to whom you talk. Women should not powder publicly — although this rule of etiquette is so often broken, one wonders who keeps it.
• Nudging, to attract the attention of the person addressed, is unspeakable.
• Well-bred folk the world over are unostentatious in public. It is a notable fact that in almost all countries of the world, navy blue, gray not too pale in tone, and black, are preferred colors for streetwear. The sole exception to this rule is the hot countries, where on account of the climate, white is worn. —Virginia Sidney Hale, 1923

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gentlemanly Behavior in Public

The gentleman never smokes, or spits upon the walk, to the exceeding annoyance of those who are always disgusted with tobacco in any shape.

Good behavior upon the street, or public promenade, marks the gentleman most effectually; rudeness, incivility, disregard of “what the world says,” marks the person of low breeding. We always know, in walking a square with a man, if he is a gentleman or not. A real gentility never does the following things on the street, in presence of observers:—

• Never picks the teeth, nor scratches the head.
• Never swears or talks uproariously.
• Never picks the nose with the finger.
• Never smokes, or spits upon the walk, to the exceeding annoyance of those who are always disgusted with tobacco in any shape.
• Never stares at any one, man or woman, in a marked manner.
• Never scans a lady's dress impertinently, and makes no rude remarks about her.
• Never crowds before promenaders in a rough or hurried way.
• Never jostles a lady or gentleman without an “excuse me.”
• Never treads upon a lady's dress without begging pardon.
• Never loses temper, nor attracts attention by excited conversation.
• Never dresses in an odd or singular manner, so as to create remark.
• Never fails to raise his hat politely to a lady acquaintance; nor to a male friend who may be walking with a lady—it is a courtesy to the lady.– Beadle’s Dime Book of Practical Etiquette, 1859

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette at the Door

A Question of Etiquette: Do you hold the door for others?

Do “everyday acts of etiquette, such as holding doors for other people, reflect the internal simulation of acts of social cooperation?”

American researchers stake out a door and find it far from an open and shut case

Whether one person holds a door open for another is not simply a question of etiquette, says a study by Joseph P Santamaria and David A Rosenbaum of Pennsylvania State University. No, they say. Nothing simple about it.

Santamaria and Rosenbaum worked to pursue the answer through a tangle of belief, logic, probability, perception and calculation. Their study, Etiquette and Effort: Holding Doors for Others, was published in 2011 in the journal Psychological Science. It is, one way or another, a gripping read.

Santamaria and Rosenbaum selected a door that gets heavy use by people entering or exiting a building. “We recorded the behaviour of 148 individuals approaching and passing through the door. We determined whether the first person held the door for the follower or followers, how far the follower or followers were from the door, how long it took for the follower or followers to reach the doorway, and how many followers (one or two) followed the first person at the door.”

“We found,” they reveal, “that the closer the follower or followers were to the door, the more likely people were to hold the door open.” The researchers devised the experiment to test their new hypothesis — their highly educated guess — as to what happens in the mind of a person faced with a decision to either hold the door open for the next person, or not hold the door open.

“Specifically, we hypothesised that decisions about whether to hold a door open depend on calculations of the odds that one person’s holding the door would require less effort than would each individual’s opening the door on his or her own.”

Santamaria and Rosenbaum’s small, specific door-holding hypothesis is a toy version of their big, general hypothesis: “We hypothesised that everyday acts of etiquette, such as holding doors for other people, reflect the internal simulation of acts of social cooperation.” Their theory aims for a deep level of understanding: “According to [our] view, etiquette, or the form of physically expressed etiquette considered here, is not just a symbol for respect; it is also a means of reducing physical effort for the group.”

In the final paragraph, the study points out one of its obvious limitations: “Some forms of etiquette do not concern physical effort (eg napkin folding).”

The Santamaria/Rosenbaum study follows distantly in the tradition of John Trinkaus. Professor Trinkaus published nearly 100 academic studies about things that annoyed him. His paper, called Exiting a Building: An Informal Look, published in 1990, reported the behaviour of 819 people leaving a New York City building that had two side-by-side doors, one held in the open position, the other closed. Trinkaus observed that approximately 70% of those people chose to exit through the open door.

Marc Abrahams is editor of the Annals of ImprobableResearch and organiser of the Ig Nobel prizes - From May 2015, TheGuardian.com

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Jitney Etiquette Humor

Etiquette needs to be followed! —Should passengers rob their jitney driver? Should jitney drivers rob their passengers? 

Jitney Etiquette —Simple Rules for Beginners



EXPERTS on etiquette are being appealed to these days to give the rules for riding in jitney buses. Should the lady or gentleman passenger alight first? Should a married jitney driver permit unmarried and handsome young women to ride in the front seat with him ? Should passengers rob their jitney driver? Should jitney drivers rob their passengers?

Jitney ethics is quite a new branch of the subject of conduct, yet we see its rules violated every day. From police court to divorce court, jitney morals and jitney etiquette are being put to the test, and even the state legislature is dropping the idea of a tax on bachelors in favor of a tax on jitney drivers. Since the jitney operator only pays four or five taxes and licenses already, it is held better to put an added expense on him than on the bachelor, who seldom pays any kind of a tax and so isn’t used to the experience.

But to our many correspondents we give these admonitions:

• In alighting from a jitney, the gentleman should step out first, if he can do so without crushing the toes of the lady. 
• The superior court has decided that a jitney driver with a jealous wife should either force his lady passengers to ride on the back seat or be prepared to pay alimony. 
• In the matter of highway robbery, of or by jitney passengers, we think that anyone who would perpetrate such a crime is actuated more by wanton hope than by common sense.— Los Angeles Herald, 1915

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Girl Writes Jitney Etiquette Code

Miss Spencer says that she bases her “Jitney Etiquette” rules on common sense and a few of her own experiences. 

GIRL DRAWS CODE OF JITNEY ETIQUETTE FOR BUS PATRONS

To young girls who patronize the jitney buses, Miss Marvel Spencer, a pretty, young Los Angeles girl, has outlined a list of "don’ts," which she terms “Jitney Etiquette.” Miss Spencer says that she bases the rules on common sense and a few of her own experiences. 

A girl must never start a conversation with the driver of the machine, says Miss Spencer, for the reason that it is not proper and serves to distract the driver’s attention from the wheel. She goes farther and prohibits any conversation with men passengers. 

She warns young girls against crowding into a seat with men, and in a crowded car, sitting on the door. “Young girls may not know what they are doing when they violate my 'Jitney Etiquette’" said Miss Spencer today. "I have ridden many times in jitneys and know whereof I speak.

Here is a list of “Don'ts" for girls, who ride in jitney buses, suggested by Miss Spencer: 

• Don't talk to the driver. 
• Don’t crowd into a seat beside men. 
• Don’t sit on the door. 
• Don’t converse with men passengers. 
• Don't sit on anyone’s lap.

Miss Marvel Spencer who says she bases her five “Don’ts” on common sense and some personal experience. — Los Angeles Herald, 1915

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Public Grooming

You wouldn't wear this in public, so why would you  pick your teeth, comb your hair, or perform any of the necessary operations of the toilet in public or company?

Personal Grooming in Public

Never pare or scrape your nails, pick your teeth, comb your hair, or perform any of the necessary operations of the toilet in company. All these things should be carefully attended to in the privacy of your own room. 

To pick the nose, dig the ears, or scratch the head or any part of the person in company is still worse. Watch yourself carefully, and if you have any such habits, break them up at once. 

These may seem little things, but they have their weight, and go far in determining the character of the impression we make upon those around us. –From 1887's "How to Behave"

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J .Graber, is the Editor and Site Moderator for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia