Tibetan Tea Etiquette

A bowl of tsampa – From a skin full of butter, placed within convenient range, each person takes a piece of oleaginous compound and lets it melt into his bowl of steaming tea. Then, oh joy! Oh rapture! With furtive grasp he draws the nectar to his lips and heaven is opened unto him. The bowl is again filled, into the steaming liquid, he throws a handful of tsampa (parched barley meal) and drawing forth the sodden lump works in into a ball of brown dough with a deft movement of his left hand, and successively bites off pieces of this delicacy and drinks his buttered tea until the visible supply has vanished... – photo source, Pinterest

Tea forms one of the principal articles of commerce throughout Tibet and Mongolia. The native is miserable without it and when it cannot be obtained is willing to cheat himself by various expedients, such as boiling dried onion heads, herbs, or even an infusion of chips of wood in water, in order that he may not be. at least, without a suggestion cf his favorite beverage. The tea imported from China is pressed into small oblong-shaped bricks, made up into cases of nine bricks, securely sewn in rawhide, and not only is used as a beverage, but in fact, forms a staple of currency as negotiable as Bank of England notes or American paper currency. 

The native method of preparing this delicacy is not appetizing. The tea is first ground to a fine powder by vigorously pounding it in a mortar until no splints of wood or other impurities are visible to the eye: it is then put into the kettle when the water is hot, to boil ten or fifteen minutes. By way of giving increased flavor, salt or soda is added, and, this part of the operation being completed, the all-important business of drinking it commences. The family being gathered round the fire of yak-dung. In order that atmosphere, as the painters would say, should not be lacking, each one draws from some hidden recess in the folds of his voluminous sheepskin coat a little wooden bowl, and with a satisfaction which must be seen to be appreciated fills his private dish with the liquid. All this, however, is by way of preliminary. 

From a skin full of butter, placed within convenient range, each person takes a piece of oleaginous compound and lets it melt into his bowl of steaming tea. Then, oh joy! Oh rapture! With furtive grasp he draws the nectar to his lips and heaven is opened unto him. The bowl is again filled, into the steaming liquid, he throws a handful of tsampa (parched barley meal) and drawing forth the sodden lump works in into a ball of brown dough with a deft movement of his left hand, and successively bites off pieces of this delicacy and drinks his buttered tea until the visible supply has vanished, when, in order that his table etiquette may not be impugned, he licks his bowl clean, wipes what superfluous fat he has not got on his face on his boots, and eagerly looks forward to the moment when gods and fate shall again become propitious. — Outing News, 1904

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

19th C. Chinese Courtship Etiquette

A drawing depicting bride-to-be, Ah Leen – “The bridegroom-elect may see his future bride, he may even converse with her from opposite sides of the room, but the proprieties would be completely outraged if the betrothed couple were to shake hands. Two or three times a week the fiance makes a call of from five to ten minutes duration, and if he is desperately enamored, he never goes empty handed. Sausages are a gift that is highly appreciated, and Chinese vegetables are also much esteemed. Fruit is frequently brought to the engaged ladies, both in the Presbyterian and the Methodist missions, but it would outrage Mongolian etiquette to bestow candy.”

The Romance of Ah Leen –How a Chinese Girl Can Be Made Love To at the Missions 

Presents of Jewelry Are Frequently Given, but Sausages Are Not Scorned

Many and unexpected are the ways by which sinners are sometimes led into the fold, and the approaching marriage of Ah Leen furnishes an instance of this. Ah Leen is a good little girl who lives in the Presbyterian mission, away from the pomps and vanities of this wicked world. Every Sunday, however, she goes religiously to church along with the other girls who have been rescued by the kindhearted ladies of the Occidental Board. The passing of this procession is an opportunity eagerly seized by the eligible bachelors of Chinatown, who turn out en masse and line the sidewalks along the route, each good one cherishing the intention of asking Miss Culbertson for the hand of the girl who strikes his fancy most. 

As for the wicked, they know that it is useless to apply. Now, one gay and sprightly bachelor was particularly struck a couple of months ago by the beauty of Ah Leen. He watched the procession pass with eyes only for her, and when she had entered the sacred edifice, instead of resigning himself to go home, he made a mighty effort to overcome the prejudices of early education and followed her into the church. From that date a change has come over the bachelor. He no longer burns punk at the shrines of his countrymen, nor does he dissipate money in having his fortune told; in fact, he has become in every way worthy of Ah Leen, to whom he is soon to be united. During the present strained condition of things in Chinatown, however, he shrinks from the notoriety of having his changed condition commented on by his friends and foes.

Courtship, as it is understood in Chinese circles, is a somewhat tame and practical affair. There is a regular routine at the mission, in which a compromise is made between American and Chinese customs. The bridegroom-elect may see his future bride, he may even converse with her from opposite sides of the room, but the proprieties would be completely outraged if the betrothed couple were to shake hands. Two or three times a week the fiance makes a call of from five to ten minutes duration, and if he is desperately enamored, he never goes empty handed. Sausages are a gift that is highly appreciated, and Chinese vegetables are also much esteemed. Fruit is frequently brought to the engaged ladies, both in the Presbyterian and the Methodist missions, but it would outrage Mongolian etiquette to bestow candy.

The love-making is generally monosyllabic on the part, of the young lady, and even the man finds his gift of conversation languish. At the Presbyterian mission a charming young Chinese girl named Ah Cheng, a professional interpreter, satisfies etiquette by being present during all the interviews. Many Chinese merchants have offered to lay their hands and heart at Ah Cheng's feet, but she has seen so much of love-making as an onlooker that she refuses to go through the ordeal of entertaining a fiance on her own account. Even the touching romance of Ah Leen has not inclined the little interpreter to follow her example. – The San Francisco Call, 1895

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J.Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Wedding Customs

Traditional Mongolian clothing ~ “However much a Chinese girl may become Christianized there are generally several points of Mongolian etiquette which she expects to observe rigidly at her wedding.”

How Mrs. Fong Fung Regulated Her Nephew's Wedding Feast — A Unique Chinese Marriage Celebrated at the Methodist Mission

The Methodist Mission, on Washington Street, was the scene of a unique Chinese wedding last night. Ngan Kuk was the bride. Five years ago she was rescued from slavery and brought into the home, and since that time, little by little, she has learned Western ways and has abjured her idols, her ancestors and her heathen customs. But, however much a Chinese girl may become Christianized there are generally several points of Mongolian etiquette which she expects to observe rigidly at her wedding.

On that occasion, if on no other, she will paint her face, adorn her head and put on attire more gorgeous than a peacock's tail. She will also refuse the dainties of the marriage feast and refrain from casting even a sidelong glance at the bridegroom. When Ngan Kuk accepted the hand and heart of Chan Hay, a convert of the mission, she expected that her wedding feast would be as regal as the circumstances of the groom would permit, but fate, in the shape of the gentleman's aunt, willed otherwise. It is a Chinese custom that when a man who is about to get married has a mother she shall manage and control all the arrangements for his wedding. There are so few mothers-in-law in Chinatown, that this custom has almost fallen into abeyance.

Chan Hay had no mother, but he had an aunt — Mrs. Fong Fung— who has always been to him as a parent, and this lady made her presence felt at last night's wedding. She is the wife of a well-to-do Chinese merchant, and has been a consistent member of the Methodist Episcopal church for six years. She disapproves of frivolity in dress or deportment, and she considers Chinese custom and etiquette little short of sinful. It was owing to Mrs. Fong Fung's religious scruples that the bride wore no finery last night, and was simply arrayed in a blue blouse and a black shirt, with neat but not gaudy embroidery. The groom's attire was marked by the same absence of extravagance in dress, and as for Mrs. Fong Fung herself nothing could have been simpler than her attire. She was almost a Chinese tailor-made lady.

Rev. Dr. Masters, the head of the mission, performed the ceremony and throughout the whole, proceedings were conducted on the American plan, without the least particle of heathen custom or etiquette. There were about 150 American and Chinese visitors present and at the feast which followed the wedding, they all, the bride included, sat down in tbe big schoolroom of the mission to prettily decorated tables and partook of light refreshments prepared in American style. People declared it was the most unique Chinese wedding they had ever witnessed.–San Francisco, 1896

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia