Minding One’s Virtual Manners

Be grateful, be kind, and mind your virtual manners. It’s actually quite natural for us to be kind; we are born hard-wired to be that way, so keep it up. It doesn’t take much time, and you rarely need any money to be kind. Reach out and check-in. Simple acts of kindness can make someone’s day, including yours. Etiquette skills will help you succeed in your professional and personal life, and they will hold their value long after the pandemic ends. So, put your best virtual foot forward. Your image, your friends and family relationships, even your career, may thank you for the effort.

The Importance of Etiquette in a Virtual World

Technology has offered a lifeline during the Covid-19 global pandemic. In 2020, society made a big move, but we didn’t need to pack a thing, or hire movers. We moved to a new, virtual world, which requires unique skills to navigate and communicate with respect and politeness. Most companies, schools and even churches, now regularly conduct business almost entirely on a virtual stage. Further, technology isn’t all business; it’s a social outlet for friends and family to connect. Every single day, there are more than 300 million users on Zoom, 100 million on Google Meet, and 115 million on Microsoft Teams, among the most popular virtual communication platforms.

So, how are we conducting ourselves in this virtual world? In other words, are we minding our virtual manners? Well, not as well as we should. Virtual comportment begins with respect. It continues with good listening skills, speaking prowess, empathetic leadership, emotional intelligence, gratitude, and ends with kindness. Those are higher level soft skills, but there are some foundational practices that not enough of us consistently employ that can have a huge impact on our ability to communicate more effectively in a virtual environment.

Here are the top 5 ways to mind your virtual manners:


1. Be on time. Whether attending a business meeting or a virtual social gathering, be on time. It’s rude to show up late online, just as it is in person. Being late signals that you and your time are more important than everyone else. Your tardiness also interrupts the flow of the meeting while the leader briefs you on what you’ve missed. Whenever possible, be early. It can be a great time to connect outside the event.


2. Dress the part or dress a notch above what you’d typically wear. Stand out with respect. Please resist the urge to wear your sweats in virtual company. Dress in appropriate attire. For formal business meetings, dress as you would if you were in person. For less formal gatherings, dress “at-home professional.” Be neat and well put together. Your clothing should be pressed, fit well, and suit your body type. The same goes for virtual social events; dress in what suits you and the occasion. It is disrespectful to wear your binge-watching lounge-wear on camera. It sends the message that others are not worth the effort to dress the part.


3. Learn to listen. Do not interrupt. Do not speak over others. Just as you would in-person, engage your listening skills virtually. Be present, and listen. Wait until it’s your turn to speak, and utilize the “Raise Hand” function. Everyone wants a chance to contribute to the conversation; please be polite and do not interrupt. Interrupters send a signal that their ideas or comments are more important than everyone else’s. Be respectful and wait for your turn to talk. Meanwhile, enjoy the conversation by listening. When it is your turn, or if you are leading the meeting, be inclusive. Use an agenda to manage time, and ensure that everyone can contribute.


4. Be empathetic. Please remember to be empathetic when gathering virtually. As our stress levels climb — 2020 could be synonymous with previously unheard of levels of stress — our patience wanes, and our temper can fly. Be mindful and take an empathetic walk in someone else’s shoes. Use your emotional intelligence and try to understand what others feel. You may need extra patience, but it may help to imagine those who are homeschooling children, taking care of aged parents, and trying to work from home — they might need a little TLC. In business, if possible, be flexible. Socially, take time to reach out to a friend who could use a strong “virtual” shoulder to lean on.


5. Be grateful and kind. We should always be on our best behavior, in-person, or in the virtual world. Treat others how you want to be treated, with respect and kindness. Say, “please,” and “thank you” with sincerity. Research shows that being grateful will improve your mental and physical well-being and help relieve stress, which we could all use. In particular, be kind on social media. Remember that everything you post on social media is immortal. So, despite how easy it may be to leave a sarcastic comment, resist. Take the high ground, and embrace positivity. Remember your core etiquette skills.

Our newest contributor, Heidi Dulebohn is an international cultural consultant and etiquette expert. A coach for emerging and established leaders, she specializes in building advanced level soft skills like emotional intelligence, cultural competence and executive presence. She can be reached at heididulebohn.com

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

 

Etiquette for Covid-19 Remote Work

Interruptions kill your focus. Before sitting down in front of your computer, make sure that the needs of your children, even your pet’s are met. Try to work your schedule around the quality time spent with them. This gives children a sense of priority and security given the circumstances. 

EtiquetteWise™ Tips for Remote Work due to Covid-19

Following the recent pandemic caused by Covid-19, many governmental offices, international organizations, corporations and other professional institutions have advised their employees to work remotely from home. This sudden switch has created new rules to follow at home – namely our interim office location, at least for the foreseeable future. Working from home is not an excuse to loose your professionalism or your motivation. Nevertheless, overcoming these unprecedented circumstances needs self-discipline, patience and etiquettewise™ skills.

As I often work from home, I must say that it can be an advantage because I don’t have to commute, nor stress about the morning traffic, I have more flexibility in my schedule all the while carrying on my responsibilities as needed. However, I understand that this may not be the case for many of you. Therefore, I have prepared a short list of tips to help you manage your situation during this current lockdown.

Once Awake, Don’t Stay Long in Bed

This may be quite tempting, especially during rainy days, but it actually reduces your motivation and thereby your productivity for the day. Getting up early, even if not as early as usual, will help you sustain an efficient routine and organize your day better.

Exercise

If you own a home workout machine, then use it by all means. If not, I suggest working out at your own pace with safe exercise moves to keep your body active and healthy. If possible, use also online videos to practice some yoga moves as this can ease your anxiety and help you maintain your mental health. For those of you who own an outdoor facility such as a garden or a balcony, make use of it to stimulate your mind and get in touch with nature. Otherwise, let the fresh air in from the windows to boost your morale and increase your productivity.

Dress for the Day

For the professionals who need to work from home, act like as if you are actually going to work. Of course you don’t need to wear a suit and put on your shoes, but certainly take a shower, remove your pyjama and get into comfortable cloths. This creates a momentum to help you carry on with the day with a decent level of professionalism as you would in your office.

Prevent Interruptions

I know this is easier said than done, but interruptions kill your focus. Before sitting down in front of your computer, make sure that the needs of your children, even your pet’s are met. Try to work your schedule around the quality time spent with them. This gives children a sense of priority and security given the circumstances. If your phone rings while you’re working, prioritize the calls according to rationale. If it’s the number of an elderly family member, pick the phone up to ensure their wellbeing. Otherwise, keep all distractions, including social media, to a minimum until you get a break to catch up with everything. At home it is also tempting to take breaks for cooking, doing your laundry, chitchatting with your spouse or checking on the kids. If you feel like pausing often, then schedule short breaks to avoid distractions.

Keep it Professional

When you need to connect with your colleagues from your virtual office, stay focused and keep the conversation mostly related to work. Avoid complaining about the situation as you won’t accomplish much from stating the obvious but you could come across as a moaner. You might enjoy sipping your drink while talking, that’s fine of course as long as you keep all types of food away from your mouth while you’re on the phone. If you’re on a video call, mind your voice tone and body language, as you must still be perceived as a professional.

Assign a Space for Work-Only Purposes

Find a space in a less crowded room where you can keep your work papers, computer and other important documents without having to remove them on a daily basis. Some find the kitchen table as an alternative for a work desk or even the dining room as a compromise for a virtual office. The important thing is to establish a fixed area for your workload. Should there be family members besides you who needs work space as well, be supportive and give each other room. With patience and respect you can all be more constructive and efficient.

Develop a Routine

Organize a daily routine including an official start and an end time for work. This is crucial for your work-life balance at home. Manage your entire day developing rituals at your own rhythm from waking up early, exercising, doing your morning chores, showering, dressing up, eating at same time slots and working at determined hours. Just as you plan to start on time, plan as well to finish in a timely manner. As you know, Life ends but work never ends! Use the rest of the day to bond with your loved ones, connect with friends or even explore a new hobby. Creating such practices incorporates self-discipline and increases your productivity at all levels.

Be Human Again

Besides avoiding handshakes and social distancing, Coronavirus reminded humanity about what should matter most to mere mortals. Financial success, politics, economy, stock markets, commodities, banking, entertainment, tourism, you name it… they all have shaped the purpose of humankind in the era we live in. But with all these aspects on hold, human beings are back to survival mode. Your priority is to stay alive and healthy, embrace your family, appreciate what you have and empathize with the ones who are loosing these treasures today one way or another.

You may be unable to interact with others physically, but you can still use your well-mannered skills to show compassion, gratitude, respect, and humility with a caring phone call, a warm video connection or a kind message via social media.

With the Covid-19 crises, try to have a positive outlook, learn from your experience, focus on what really matters, stay safe and enjoy your loved ones. Remember you’re not alone, we’re all in this together!

Meet our newest contributor, Irma Vartanian Balian, founding Director of ProtocolWise ™. She has lived in North America, Europe and the Middle East. Her rich cultural background, her commitment to excellence, along with her expertise in Protocol and Soft Diplomacy, equipped lrma to provide valuable advice to her clients while putting them at ease. Irma trains leaders, corporate teams, diplomats, individuals, families and professionals, both regionally and internationally with assurance and professionalism.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette  Encyclopedia