Showing posts with label Selfie Etiquette. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Selfie Etiquette. Show all posts

Sunday, March 22, 2015

The Definitive Selfie Etiquette Guide


The Approved Selfie... There is someone behind you. Is he aware he is in the photo? This is what is known to many, as a “Relfie”... a “Relationship-Selfie.”
Selfies can be fun to take and share, however, as with anything involving a camera or photos, etiquette needs to be followed. The etiquette guidelines below will help you stay well-mannered and safe...
Hey you! Yes, you in the back left side of the ride... You are at Disneyland! Remember? Pass the phone to the friend next to you if you need a photo of yourself, while on the ride. Don't forget to ask with the word "please" and to be extra polite, offer to then return the favor if the person wants a photo too!
The "Wait... What?" Selfie: Are you so busy taking selfies, that you even know what is actually going on around you? Are you still able to enjoy yourself? Or did you kill the moment trying to "save the moment" in a cell phone photo? Think about it for a minute. Allow yourself some time to enjoy what you are doing.

Get approval before posting selfies with babies, or others, to social media sites.
The Approved Selfie: Ask for permission before you post a selfie with someone else's baby, child, etc... They may not want the photograph online and it is their right to decline permission.   
Super famous, B, C or D-list celebrity, it doesn't matter. Always ask permission before you take that selfie. Tori Spelling kindly obliged our favorite “selfie” model, out in front of the Staples Center in Los Angeles.

The Celebrity Selfie: A celebrity in a recent interview mentioned that people do not politely approach her anymore. They just walk up with their cell phones in hand, stand close to her, and take a photo. Super famous or "D-list" celebrity, ask permission before you take that selfie. They may not want to be photographed and it is their right to decline.
“Selfie-Sticks” are great for group selfies, or “Groufies”
The Safe Selfie: Is that selfie worth endangering yourself for? Are you trying to get a selfie on top of a train perhaps? A moving train? Or is that "selfie-stick" not far enough back for you as you unwittingly creep closer to the edge of that cliff? Never put your life at risk for that “really cool” selfie. There have been numerous accounts online recently of people taking selfies in dangerous places that turned even more dangerous.
                    
"Technically Incorrect: The contestants are gathered in Miami for Miss Universe. Israel and Lebanon are still at war. This is not the time for modern diplomacy. Can a selfie cause an international incident? Yes, it can." CNET.com, Tech Culture

The Kind Selfie and The Controversial Selfie: Do not take photos with others conspicuously in the background, simply to poke fun at another person or shame them. I recall a young woman posting a photo on a group social media page she had taken with a man who was sound asleep with his mouth open on the subway. She posted a caption making fun of him snoring. I asked her why she thought it was funny to humiliate this man and to post a photo with her near him without his permission. She got defensive but took the photo down.  This also applies to photo bombing someone else's selfie. It is bad manners to photo bomb, unless you know the person very well, and know they wouldn't mind.

Sometime later, I witnessed teens using their cell phones to take selfies with others nearby and all the people had partially exposed rear ends. This was without their knowledge and the teens were immediately uploading them on line. It is one thing to post humorous photos of yourself, quite another to post them with someone else and without their consent.



The Miss Universe Controversy Groufie
Clearly, we've all learned many lessons from Miss Universe over the years. How to answer inane questions with short elegant words, for example.

However, this time Miss Israel's alleged photobombing of a selfie including Miss Lebanon – taken in Miami – has caused uproar.

As NBC News reports, media in Lebanon weren't happy with this image. The two countries are still at war. And this was, well, Miss Universe, an event that is the barometer for all things political.

For her part, Miss Lebanon – Saly Greige, who has a civil engineering degree – was forced to turn to Facebook to disavow the image.

She wrote: 'Since the first day of my arrival to participate to Miss Universe, I was very cautious to avoid being in any photo or communication with Miss Israel (that tried several times to have a photo with me) ... I was having a photo with Miss Japan, Miss Slovenia and myself; suddenly Miss Israel jumped in, took a selfie, and put it on her social media.'
 

Miss Israel – Doron Matalon – countered by turning to Instagram. She wrote of Greige's reaction: 'It doesn't surprise me, but it still makes me sad. Too bad you cannot put the hostility out of the game, only for three weeks of an experience of a lifetime that we can meet girls from around the world and also from the neighboring country."' from CNET.com
                                             
The sweet selfie. No one is offended and your etiquette is just fine.
The Respectful Selfie: If you witness an accident, unless you are taking photos for evidence sake, do not take selfies in the name of seeing something fascinating to post later. The same goes for funerals, in hospitals and any other sensitive environment. Unless it serves a specific purpose that is helpful, refrain from taking selfies.

The Risqué Selfie: I have seen more than my share of people posting inappropriate selfies. As an individual, you are free to do certain things, but once you post it on the internet, it will remain there forever because people will copy, save, repost, create meme’s, etc... 

The riot... I was there drinking beer, bro!
The Self Destructive Selfie: Keep in mind that employers routinely look into people’s social media activity prior to hiring and are terminating employees for things they post that they feel may cast a negative light on the company. A flight attendant was fired a few years ago for taking selfies on an empty plane.
                                            
Kim Kardashian is Selfie-Obsessed: Are you selfie-obsessed? According to psychiatrist Dr David Veal: “Two out of three of all the patients who come to see me with Body Dysmorphic Disorder since the rise of camera phones have a compulsion to repeatedly take and post selfies on social media sites. Cognitive behavioural therapy is used to help a patient to recognise the reasons for his or her compulsive behaviour and then to learn how to moderate it,” he told the Sunday Mirror.

The Over-Saturation Selfie: There is the saying “a little goes a long way” and it definitely applies to Kim Kardashian. While you are free to document every aspect of your life, do not think people are waiting by their computers for every update. If you like to share, pick a photo or two that tastefully summarizes the day, post them and move on.

Taking selfies can be a fun activity but let us use caution that taking selfies does not cause us to act 
selfish.







Compiled  by the late-Demita Usher, Contributor to Etiquipedia


📱Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

8 Etiquette Breaches Around the World

1. Ben Affleck in a Breach of Yemeni Etiquette 

The sole cause of Ben Affleck's breach of etiquette? His soles.
Ben Affleck was in hot water during his visit to the Persian Gulf in 2004, after shocking a Yemeni prince. The actor had been briefed about local customs but in a moment of tiredness he forgot about etiquette and showed the soles of his shoes. The infringement of Middle Eastern manners earned him an angry ticking off from a bodyguard. 


Affleck said: “They told me, ‘Don't show the soles of your feet.’ I forgot about that. At one point, I was in one of the Middle Eastern airports, going from one place to another, and I was tired,” he explained. “So I was sitting there, kicking back, and apparently there was some Yemeni prince that came through and this guard literally looks over at me and comes charging over. “I thought I was being terrorized on the spot.” He yelled, ‘What are you doing? Your feet!,’ and then he slaps my feet puts them on the ground.”

2. Nobel Etiquette Breached for Monolingual Mo Yan in 2012

The 57-year-old Mo Yan, was the first Chinese resident to win the prize. Chinese-born Gao Xingjian was honoured in 2000, was not a Chinese citizen.
Nobel organizers made a special exception to stringent seating rules for 2012's gala banquet in Stockholm, allowing literature laureate Mo Yan and his wife sit together because they both only speak Chinese.

Who gets to sit next to one of the princesses usually peaks Swedes' interest. That year, chemistry laureate Brian Kobilka was seated next to Crown Princess Victoria's right, as Mrs Kobilka sat directly opposite the heir to the throne. The Swedish speaker of parliament, Per Westerberg, flanked the crown princess on the left, which he usually does.

Princess Madeleine, was to be responsible for entertaining physiology laureate Shinya Yamanaka and Swedish Prime Minister Fredrik Reinfeldt. The laureate's wife Dr. Yamanaka faced the younger princess.

Princess Madeleine had her brother Prince Carl Philip diagonally across from her. He entertained Dr. Yamanaka and Mrs. Westerberg, a psychiatrist, with Professor Yamanaka facing him.

Seating at the top table strictly follows what is commonly known as the ‘Nobel Order’, which takes into consideration the rank of the members of the royal court and then matches them with the laureates in the order set out in Alfred Nobel's last will and testament.

Nobel mentioned physics first, meaning that the laureates, that year Serge Haroche and David Wineland, and their spouses were clustered around King Carl XVI Gustav and Queen Silvia. The regent is also always seated near the president of the Nobel Foundation and the president's spouse, presently Mr. and Mrs. Storch.

“There is a protocol for the seating, but we can make modifications based on for example language abilities,” Nobel Foundation spokesperson Annika Pontikis told the TT news agency. Literature laureate Mo Yan was thus seated next to his wife Quinlan Du. Married couples are usually never seated next to each other but the Foundation found it apt to make an exception.

“Neither of them speaks anything but Chinese,” said Annika Pontikis. Seemingly to ensure the couple was not linguistically cut off from conversation, the wife of the Chinese Ambassador to Sweden was seated next to Mo Yan. Her husband was, in turn, seated next to her.

The top table takes centre stage in the main hall of Stockholm's 1920's City Hall, considered by many an important example of the National Romantic architecture style.

The Blue Hall, which is not actually blue but has walls of exposed brick soaring more than 20 metres up to the ceiling, is most famous internationally for hosting the Nobel banquet, but hosts many other events including ceremonies for immigrants when they become Swedish citizens.

3. The Emperor's Code: Breach Of Protocol Spurs Debate In Japan

Actor turned lawmaker, Taro Yamamoto, handing a letter to Japan's aging and frail monarch, Emperor Akihito, as Empress Michiko looks on, during the autumn garden party at the Imperial Palace in Tokyo on Oct. 31, 2013
 A staid and unremarkable royal garden party suddenly became the stuff of front-page scandal, when rookie lawmaker and passionate anti-nuclear activist Taro Yamamoto slipped a handwritten letter to Emperor Akihito. The mystified monarch hurriedly passed the epistle to an aide, unread — but the damage was done.

There is no audible reaction on video of the Oct. 31 incident, but the collective public gasp over an unusual breach of conduct was heard nationwide in Japan. The lawmaker's sin, officially, was violating Japan's ban on using the emperor for political gain. But the incident showed lingering sensitivity over the emperor nearly 70 years after the end of World War II. That's when Emperor Akihito's father, Hirohito, renounced his divine status.

Japan's emperor has been a titular head since then, as the U.S. imposed a constitution that proscribed royal participation in the business of ruling. His life is confined to a whirlwind of goodwill trips, photo ops with foreign dignitaries, and attendance at arts events.

Since the aging and frail monarch is constitutionally powerless, the letter incident was widely seen as a pointless and shameless spotlight grab. Yamamoto argued he was only trying to draw imperial attention to the plight of Fukushima, particularly children's exposure to radiation, and workers involved in cleaning up the aftermath of the March 2011 nuclear plant accident.

4. The Ultimate Sucker Punch: A Breach of Boxing Protocol in 1991, Cost “Macho Camacho” a Title

The late-boxer, “Macho Camacho” – The crucial moment in the late-Hector Camacho’s loss of his World Boxing Organization junior-welterweight title against Greg Haugen in 1991, came down to an impromptu decision by the bout’s referee, Carlos Padilla.
 At the start of the 12th and final round, Padilla, a 57-year-old Las Vegas resident, watched and waited for the fighters to touch gloves, as boxing protocol dictates. Camacho extended his gloves but Haugen was disinclined to reciprocate, even when Padilla urged him to. That led Camacho, always an impulsive sort, to throw a punch at Haugen, and Padilla to decide this was a breach of conduct. He instructed the three judges to penalize Camacho a point. 

Delighted, Haugen leaped into the air with a big smile on his face for having suckered Camacho into that gaffe. Had he known just what effect Padilla's decision would have on the outcome, Haugen might have gone into orbit. The 1-point deduction turned out to be pivotal in the final result. 

Two judges, Dalby Shirley and Bill McConkey, scored the bout, 114-112, Shirley for Camacho and McConkey for Haugen. The other judge, Art Lurie, had it 114-113 in Haugen's favor. 

Had Camacho not been penalized the point, Lurie's scorecard would have read, 114-114, and the bout would have been declared a draw, with Camacho retaining his title. But that was not the case, and because of that Camacho lost for the first time in a professional career spanning 40 bouts. 

For the time being at least he also lost a chance for a big-money match with Julio Cesar Chavez, the World Boxing Council-International Boxing Federation junior-welterweight champion.

5. The Breach of Etiquette and Cringeworthy "Selfie," Witnessed by the World, at Nelson Mandela's Memorial Service

Etiquipedia cannot think of a better caption than the one penned by Seema Goswami
People around the globe gasped collectively at the sight of  Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt, US President Barack Obama and British Prime Minister David Cameron clicking a "selfie," not at Disneyland, but at the memorial of the late, great South African leader, Nelson Mandela. "The three world leaders, grinning cheesily into the camera, craned their necks together to get into the frame, oblivious to the thunder-faced Michelle Obama who looked pointedly away." wrote one Hindustand Times columnist, Seema Goswami.

Memorial services and funerals are to remember and honor a life lived. They are definitely not the proper forum for taking "selfies," especially on the world stage.  This almost makes one forget this same U.S. President's breach of etiquette in skipping the funeral of Polish President Lech Kaczynski to go golfing. Almost.

6. Route 40 in the State of Maryland: Breaches of Diplomatic Etiquette and Protocol Cause of International Crises 

Route 40 played a role in the passage of the Civil Rights Act
Diplomats from newly independent African nations suffered a series of indignities during the 1950s and early 1960s, traveling through a segregated State of Maryland, on their way from the United Nations to the White House. Newspapers in their respective home countries, railed against American racism whenever a diplomat was ejected from a “whites only” establishment. 

The State Department eventually was forced to establish an agency just to deal with the discrimination against black diplomats, things had gotten so out of hand. The Kennedy administration officials argued that ending segregation was vital to winning the Cold War. Many believe this ultimately helped pass the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

7. The Man Dubbed “The Lizard of Oz” After a Breach of Royal Etiquette, and Those Who Have Followed in His Footsteps

Well at least he didn't hug her.
In 1992 Paul Keating was given the nickname of 'Lizard of Oz' after he touched the Queen's lower back with his arm as he guided her through a crowd of people.  In 2000 another Australian premier, John Howard, denied touching the monarch as he introduced her to MPs at a VIP reception. 

In 2010, the Queen visited Canada. A racehorse owner, Don Romero, put his hand on her back as she presented a trophy to the owner of the winning horse at the Queen's Plate Stakes in Toronto. This breach of royal etiquette was swiftly corrected, however, by his jockey, of all people. Jockey Eurico Da Silva, showed some real panache and executed two bows so low that his head was level with the Queen's waist.

8. Republic of China's Vice President Wu, Breaches Religious Protocol at the Vatican

Vice President Wu Den-yih, 5th right, is pictured with a group of guests that Wu invited for lunch during his visit to the Vatican City, in May of 2014.

According to the Taipei Times, Vice President Wu Den-yih (吳敦義) was seen partaking in the Sacrament of the Eucharist, which should only be done by baptized Catholics. 

In a letter to the Liberty Times (a sister newspaper of the Taipei Times), a reader surnamed Tung (董) criticized the vice president over what he said was ignorant and imprudent conduct by partaking in the Eucharist. 

“Wu is not a Catholic, but during the ritual he ingested the Eucharist offering of bread and wine. This is very improper conduct. His behavior was disrespectful to the diplomatic relationship between Taiwan and the Vatican,” Tung wrote. “In the future, when the president or the vice president attend an important international event, they should put more effort into learning proper protocol and etiquette. This can prevent them from becoming a laughingstock in the international community,” Tung said. 



🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Monday, July 7, 2014

10 Commandments of Mobile Etiquette

In a 2011 survey, 13% of people polled said that they had pretended to be talking to someone on their cell phones, to avoid talking to other people around them. Etiquipedia's guess is the actual percentage is much higher.
1. Thou shalt give your phone a rest. Smartphones, mobile phones, cell phones... Whatever you call them, they are not personal appendages. At least they are not supposed to be. They are a way of facilitating communication with others more easily. Yours does not need to be in your hand 24/7, as one needs to be sleeping at some point out of those 24 hours a day.

2. 
Thou shalt turn off your ringer in public places and not set your phone down in front of you at a restaurant table or any other place where you are meeting with others face to face. Nothing is more annoying than being mid-sentence in a conversation, and having someone's phone light up, buzz or ring. It can stop genial and productive flows of conversation, only so others can ask, "Do you need to take that?"

3. 
Thou shalt not indulge in "Cell Yell." If the person that you're talking to can't hear you, don't yell. Unless you are whispering, you probably just have a lousy connection. "Cell yell" puts others around you in cell hell, and does not help the situation anymore than it does to yell in your native tongue at people who do not speak your language.
4. Thou shalt not text or talk while holding on to your device if you are driving or operating any other machinery. There have been too many fatalities and fender-benders caused by cell phone distraction. If a call or text is that important to you, pull off the road and send your text, tweet, or make your call.

5. Thou shalt not "phub." "Phubbing" is the act of snubbing someone in a social setting by looking at your phone instead of paying attention to the person or people you are with. In other words, don't talk or text when you are in the company of anyone else, unless you have an emergency of some sort, or the person with you is in on what is being said or texted. 
Smartphones shouldn't be barriers between you and your child's, or grandchild's activities. Letting them be a part of your phone's use helps reduce iGuilt.
 iGuilt- Do you suffer from this dreaded affliction? 
They call it iGuilt. It's become an increasingly common sight at Saturday morning sport as parents tap away at their phones, missing little Jimmy's goal. Some parents don't even realise what they're doing while others readily admit they devote more attention to their iPhone than to their child. The modern world is filled with technological distractions, from smartphones to laptops to iPads, which are increasingly hard to switch off. Netsafe director and father of a 4 and 8-year-old, Martin Cocker admitted smartphones sometimes interfered with his parenting. His job means he needs to always be contactable by media and colleagues and so he always has his phone on and with him. "If I get messages, I check them and if my phone rings, I answer it because it might be work-related. But the bulk of the time, of course, it's not." Mr. Cocker said smartphone technologies were deliberately designed to keep people engaged. "It's designed to get you using it and to keep you using, making it harder to pull away." They do that because they don't make money in a traditional way. You don't pay to use a lot of the services that people are constantly using on their smartphones, but the more you use it the more the companies who own the apps can sell the advertising for," he said. As well, new technologies have removed the ability to stop working when you leave the office, meaning work inevitably creeps into home life. Mother of two and iPhone user Rochelle Gribble admitted she's fallen victim to iGuilt after seeing the behaviour of 3-year-old Caitlin deteriorate when she devotes too much time to her iPhone. "I've become increasingly mindful that I need to not have my iPhone out when my kids are around," she said. "When my daughter wants my attention but I'm on my phone she does something which she knows is naughty and she's basically trying to get my attention. So it's at that moment when I know I need to put down my phone, put away the computer and engage with her." Mrs Gribble works from home and runs parenting advice website."One of the reason I work from home is so I can spend time with my kids and I want to enjoy their childhood and here I am checking my email at the park." She frequently sees parents getting distracted by their phones while pushing their children on the swings at the park. "There's lots of little fun distractions on the internet, like Facebook, and sometimes it's a heck of a lot more interesting than talking to your children, let's be honest. And it's also a lot less demanding." Professor Alan France, head of the Sociology department at the University of Auckland, said the positive impact of technology should be noted as well. Gadgets like PlayStation's Wii had the ability to draw families together to play games while children having increased access to mobile phones meant parents could worry less." ... mobiles have improved parents' connection to their children and I don't see that as a bad thing." Mr. Cocker suggested "technology-free weekends" to help improve family-time, or even just a technology-free day or afternoon. ~ Source New Zealand Herald News, 2012
6. Thou shalt not make a call or take a call of a highly personal nature in a public place. If others can hear your conversation, maintain a distance of at least 10 feet from the closest person next to you, so that they do not have to hear your half of a conversation about your sex life, or lack thereof.
The selfie seen 'round the world. Digital diplomacy or international embarrassment?
7. Thou shalt not take selfies at funerals, mortuaries or memorial services. And while we're on the subject of photos, don't take pictures or video of anyone without their permission first. That handy availability of a camera on your phone? It doesn't give you the right to photograph someone.
8. Thou shalt not use your cell phone at the theater, opera, symphony, lecture or a play, unless you need to call for emergency services.

9. Thou shalt not call or text someone in anger. Anger makes people say things they regret later on. If you are angry, wait 12 to 24 hours to cool off, then make your call or text.

10. 
If your call is dropped, call the person back out of courtesy, regardless of which phone you suspect dropped the call. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Respect should not be a one-way street.



Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia