Etiquette for Declining Invite

 I would like to emphasize your point that the bride was correct to invite both you and your husband although she only knew you. The same would hold true for a business friend of your husband.

                  How does mate reject bid?

Dear Mrs. Tobin:

I am the girls' adviser in a large high school. When some of my former students marry they send an invitation to my husband and me. I know that this is the correct thing to do but my husband doesn't know the bride-to-be and is bored at the wedding and reception. He is perfectly willing to have me go and I really want to at- tend these functions. How do I word my RSVP to let the mother of the bride know I will be there but my husband will not? – Margaret G. 

Dear Margaret G.: 

The following is the correct form to use:

Mrs. John Phillip Jones accepts with pleasure the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Brown to the wedding and reception of their daughter on Wednesday the eighth of June at four o'clock St. Peter's Church but regrets that Mr. Jones will be unable to attend.

I would like to emphasize your point that the bride was correct to invite both you and your husband although she only knew you. The same would hold true for a business friend of your husband. You would be invited to the wedding too. – By Riv Tobin Copley News Service, 1975

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Wedding Gift Etiquette

Crystal ashtrays and electric percolators were very popular wedding gifts in 1975. Wedding gifts should always be acknowledged with a note of thanks from the newly married couple within 6 weeks of the wedding. Guests do not expect to receive their gifts to be returned if a couple’s tastes or needs no longer require them. Gifts can always be donated to charity. Never send a gift back to the gift giver, especially after a year. It is an insult and an exhibition of one’s relaxed etiquette standards.

Dear Mrs. Tobin: My daughter and son-in-law have been married a year and they recently took up the Mormon faith. One of my friends wrote and told me the beautiful crystal ash tray she sent them for a wedding gift had been returned to her along with a note explaining that they no longer had any need for such an item. Another friend had an electric percolator returned with the same message. Although I'm proud of the children I don’t feel they are handling the situation properly. Will you express your views, please? – Mrs. S. 

Dear Mrs. S.: To return any gift at any time, simply because one can no longer use it, is a breach of etiquette. And a year later? Really! The Goodwill is happy to receive unwanted merchandise. – By Riv Tobin, Copley News Service, 1975

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for the Nosy at Dinner

Unless you have knowledge of markings of different companies, it may not only be tacky and impolite to check the makers of china plates, cups, etc… when a guest at a table, but you could accidentally break something very valuable or see a never removed discount price sticker still on the dish. If you really are enamored with a certain patterned dish or cup, etc… as a guest, you could also give the host or hostess a compliment on the dish and say that you’d love to know more about it, or something similar. Your host or hostess may be very obliging.

 Don't Turn China Over

Dear Mrs. Tobin; 

Is it proper to turn over, say a cup or plate, when dining at a friend’s home? I was severely criticized when all I wanted to do was read the manufacturer’s mark. –Curious in San Diego

 

Dear Curious: 

I think it looks crass. It would be better to tell your hostess how lovely her china is and let her fill you in on the details. If it's a pretty pattern and beautiful workmanship it really doesn’t make any difference whether it’s from a pottery in Japan, France, England or the catalog from a discount house in the United States. – By Riv Tobin, Copley News Service, 1977

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

A Question of Royal Etiquette

                       

According to Town & Country Magazine, “For years, there has been a curious rumor circulating around the British media that President Jimmy Carter once kissed Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother. But did it really happen? Well, it depends on who you ask. The alleged kiss is believed to have taken place during a May 1977 dinner at Buckingham Palace, where the 39th U.S. president had the pleasure of meeting the royal family and several NATO leaders. When Carter went to say goodbye to Queen Elizabeth II's mother at the end of the night, it was reported he broke protocol and gave the matriarch a peck on the cheek. (It is customary that a royal is greeted with a bow, curtsy, or handshake.) But at the time, the British tabloids had heard the Queen Mother say he actually kissed her lips.” – Town & Country

 

Dear Mrs. Tobin:
Please settle an argument on two points of British royalty. What is the difference, if any, between the heir apparent and the heir presumptive. Also what’s the distinction between the queen mother and the dowager queen? – Just a Mr. and Mrs.

 

Dear Mr. and Mrs.:
According to the American College Dictionary, an heir apparent is one whose right is indefeasible, provided he survives the ancestor. Prince Charles is the heir apparent to the British throne. An heir presumptive is one whose expectation may be defeated by the birth of a nearer heir.

A queen dowager is the widow of a King. A queen mother is a queen dowager who is also the mother of a reining sovereign. Please note that the words queen dowager and queen mother are spelled with small letters. In speaking of THE Queen Mother, the term becomes a pronoun and so is capitalized. – By Riv Tobin, Copley News Service, 1975

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia