“Breakfast” and Other Dining Tidbits

A statue of the Dutch theologian, Erasmus. Erasmus was born in the 15th century (1460s), and died in the 16th century (1530s). – Spoons were communally used—making the etiquette of eating soups a delicate matter. "If what is given is rather fluid," Dutch theologian Erasmus of Rotterdam wrote, “take it on a spoon for tasting and return the spoon after wiping it on a napkin.”

                    

BEFORE BREAKFAST

That the hours of dining vary in different countries is well known, but few persons realize that the meal “breakfast” did not become recognized until late in the seventeenth century. The earliest period to which the word can be traced is 1463. 

In the days of the Tudors, the higher masses dined at 7 and supped at 5, and the merchants seldom took their meals before 12 and 6 o'clock. The chief meals, dinner and supper, were taken in the hall, both by the old English and the Normans, for the parlor did not come into use until the reign of Elizabeth.

Dinner was really the great meal of the day, and from the accession of Henry IV to the death of Queen Elizabeth I, the dinners were as sumptuous and extravagant as any of those in history. Carving was then a fine art, and each person brought his own spoon and knife. 

As the fork was unknown, the diner thoroughly washed his hands before and after each meal, and it was considered a bad breach of table etiquette for one not to use the left hand only in the common dish. – Chico Record, September 1913

 

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Dining with the Fork

Typical 17th C. Georgian era, British silver dining knife and fork

“No rule is so general, which admits not some exceptions.”—Robert Burton 

About the fork centers a good deal of controversy, and on this subject the well-bred English person always disagrees with the well-bred American who is as yet uninfluenced by British notions. The Englishman insists that the fork, when used with the meat course, should never be taken from the left hand, and that it should be held always tines down; while the average well-bred American sees no harm in shifting it to when he is using it to convey food from his plate to his mouth, and in turning it tines uppermost when he finds that most convenient. When he does this, the Britisher says he is using his fork like a shovel, and this to him is unpardonable. 

The fact seems to be that the British mode is spreading and that in many, if not most, boarding schools, where good manners are insisted on as much as French or English and rather more than arithmetic and geography, the British way with, the fork is insisted upon. 

But remember that there is authority for both methods, and that many well-bred, persons are none the less well-bred because they cling to the American method. But however you use fork, see that you don’t clutch it too greedily, and likewise see that you do not cram the fork with food with the aid of the knife. It is extremely awkward and bad manners to use the fork as a masher 

In eating potatoes and other vegetables, one should simply detach a bit of the potato by means of the tines of the fork, and carry this to the month without crushing it between the tines. Never put more on the fork than you can take in one mouthful. Some persons you know take a large morsel on the fork at once, and then take it in two mouthfuls at once. This is a small matter, but it is one of those little things that constitute bad table manners. 

Never use the fork in order to reach for anything that is not on your own plate. If food is served to you on serving dishes, there should be service spoons or forks, and you should help yourself by means of these just as you would in your own home. 

If the bread plate is out of reach the very ill-mannered person sometimes reaches it by means of his fork. Some persons forget that when the fork is not actually in use conveying food to the mouth that it must be laid across the plate. It should not simply he laid with the prongs resting on the plate, much less should it be held in mid-air. 

Some persons, when they wish butter on potatoes or other vegetables, take it from their butter plates by means of the fork. If there is no butter knife, then the regular knife should be used. On no account should the fork be used for this purpose. - Mary Marshall Duffee, 1922

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Joys and History of Eating

    

“The great Alexandre Dumas, in his Grand Dictionaire de Cuisine, insisted that salad is not a natural food for man.” Had he never tried a Shrimp Louie?!?”

In a chapter titled “After The Fork,” for example, the book discloses that three things revolutionized eating habits during the 17th century: the fork, the plate and the potato. It was in 1100 that a lady from Constantinople caused a furor in Venice by picking up her food with a two-pronged device instead of her fingers, as was customary. But not until 1500 did the fork come into general use in Italy and Spain; and in England and the rest of Europe not until 100 years after that.

The first plate was used in England in 1641; before that, food was piled into a scooped-out loaf of bread called a “trencher”; and that, too was eaten. And the potato, brought to Spain from America in the late 1500’s, was at first a rather suspect novelty, then a luxury in France, and later an absolute necessity for survival throughout Europe.

All this and much more come to life in these pages: observations on the first use of the table napkin, the niceties (and vulgarities) of serving food and consuming it; and such piquant facts that the great Alexandre Dumas, in his Grand Dictionaire de Cuisine, insisted that salad is not a natural food for man.

Which brings me to the book's visual delights: its dozens of drawings, sketches, illustrations and reproductions in superb color of renowned paintings of all ages and cultures related to various aspects of cookery, table settings, meat carving, meals of the humble and the mighty. There is not a page of these graphics combined with the text that will not hold your attention and charm you.

And as a grand finale, there is a section of 68 pages of recipes. But what recipes! Roman, Greek and old European; as well as Asian, Middle East and Early American, with full instructions on how to duplicate the original ingredients into modern counterparts. Here are opportunities for you to try to create a dish of the time of Caesar or Socrates; Ptolemy, or a Samurai war-lord or the Pennsylvania Dutch.

This is a splendid book. Whether or not you cook, surely you eat, and “The Joy of Eating” will give you joy. – From a 1997 book review by Jane Barry Williams

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

A Special Event with Maura J. Graber and Elizabeth Soos

           

To reserve your space for this free event, click here,

Site Editor, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, and the founder of the Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopedia along with Elizabeth Soos from the Auersmont School of Etiquette and Protocol, are hosting a free online session discovering the origins of dining etiquette and the unique utensils which helped etiquette evolve at the dining table.

In this session, you will learn from Maura about the early history of dining etiquette and how the use of utensils affected early dining etiquette. She will also cover the golden era of flatware design — the “Gilded Age,” training utensils for children and even “able ware” for those with physical challenges. Items shown and discussed will range from the 1600’s to modern day.

Some of what we will be discussing… 

• The Highlights and Timeline of Flatware History with Maura Graber

• Changes in Dining Etiquette Due to the Invention of the Table Fork and Travel Utensils

• The Golden Era of Flatware Design… The “Gilded Age and Edwardian Era”

• Training Utensils for Children from the 19th - 21st Century 

• Able Ware 

• Modern Etiquette Rules for Flatware

Moving to the modern era Elizabeth Soos will provide etiquette tips and tricks to ensure dining elegance with ease and confidence. 

Elizabeth will demonstrate…

• How to use a spoon correctly

• How to use a fork with elegance

• How to use a knife with ease.

When is this event happening?

The event will be on via Zoom, Saturday, 20th May 2023, 4 pm - 5 pm, Pacific Standard Time, (PST, California USA).

Will I be able to watch the event at another time?

We are recording the event and posting it via YouTube.

As a beginner, is this event suitable for me?

Beginners and welcome and we hope that you enjoy the event. 

How much is the event?

This event is free.

Questions can be sent to the Administrator prior to the event and during the presentation. Maura will answer as many as possible in the Question & Answer session following the presentation. 

Please email your questions to: theetiquettechannel@gmail.com

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Traveling with Utensils

What Have We Here? — A Regency Era, mother of pearl handled, folding pocket or travel fork, by Aaron Hatfield, in 1818 — Until the early part of the eighteenth century, a gentleman who traveled carried a knife and fork of his own, as the inns were not likely to have them.  

The earliest forks made were for the most part of iron and steel, with a few in silver owned by families of great wealth. Until the early part of the eighteenth century, a gentleman who traveled carried a knife and fork of his own, as the inns were not likely to have them. Visitors to England were continually criticizing the lack of forks, as they thought the English custom most unsanitary. — From “The Book of Old Silver,” by Seymour B. Wyler, 1970

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

19th C. Flatware Changes and History

“… the Comstock silver lode was discovered in Nevada in 1859, and this provided much of the materials for the silverware industry. At first, mass-produced flatware was rather crude, but eventually shaped dies and better machinery created deeper impressions, so handles became elaborately decorated, even to the point of reproducing actual figures.”

Flatware also changed with the times, and so did its use. Forks originally had but two very sharp tines. The food was speared, elevated, and then pushed into the mouth with the aid of the flat side of a knife. Forks slowly added more tines, and the convention of cutting food—switching the fork from the left to the right hand, putting down the knife, and then using the fork to lift a piece of food to the mouth—came into vogue. 

Silver plated tableware, which became available in the 1840s, was the first step in bringing the Victorian notion of elegant dining to the middle classes. It started in and around Sheffield, England, but electroplating was being done in the United States by that time as well.

In addition, the Comstock silver lode was discovered in Nevada in 1859, and this provided much of the materials for the silverware industry. At first, mass-produced flatware was rather crude, but eventually shaped dies and better machinery created deeper impressions, so handles became elaborately decorated, even to the point of reproducing actual figures. 

Tea sets were quite popular, including a coffeepot, teapot, and a hot-water pot, as well as a sugar bowl, a creamer, and a waste bowl. By the late nineteenth century, these sets came in myriad styles, including neoclassical, Persian, Elizabethan, Jacobean, Japanese, Etruscan, and even Moorish. 

Things soon got out of hand. Castors containing condiments and seasonings made sense, but then these sets started to include egg cups, bells, and bouquet holders.— From the 2010 book by Christopher Kimball, “Fannie’s Last Supper”

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

How Forks Replaced Knives

The fork was originally, and up to very modern times, used only to hold meat and other pieces of food, while the knife was cutting them. The putting of it into the mouth instead of the knife was only an afterthought, due probably to the unclean appearance of the knife blade after it had been used to shovel into the mouth, gravies, egg yolks, acids, etc... – Photo by site editor Maura J. Graber

Questioning the Fork: 

The Origins of This Very Useful Article and Why it Replaced Eating From Knives

One of those heterodox fellows, who may be found to question everything, asks upon what  sound principle is the law founded that forbids the putting of the knife into the mouth in eating. Why should a plate of steel, he asks, be interdicted from an office that the same steel, bifurcated, trifurcated or quadrafurcated, may properly perform? There is no objection to be made on the score of cutting one’s mouth, for in all ages of the past, when everybody ate with the knife, nobody ever cut his mouth. This heretic asserts that a certain consistency of food can be ‘‘hoisted,” as a western man would say, much more readily by a knife than by a fork. Of course, you can get the bulk of a mashed potato or turnip by dexterously fishing with a fork, but you can do it much neater and in better time with a knife, he continues; and thru the knife will secure all the gravy, which is mostly sifted out by the operation of the fork, and one thus loses the richest part of the meal. 

It is a matter of history that knives played an important part in domestic life long before forks were invented, and that when first the latter implements appeared, it was considered a mark of effeminacy or ultra refinement to use them. To such a degree was this prejudice against them indulged in France, that in the Sixteenth century the use of forks was considered sinful in monasteries, and the monks split up into two parties on the question. Forks originally came into use to save the fingers from soiling, and Italy was the first place where they were used. Ben Jonson writes of “the laudable use of forks brought into custom here as they are in Italy, to the sparing of napkins.” Some time later, a writer praises the King of Hungary for eating without a fork without soiling his clothes. An old writer explains why the Italian used the fork by saying that he could not “endure to have his dish touched with his fingers, seeing that all men's fingers are not clean alike.” 

But the fork was originally, and up to very modern times, used only to hold meat and other pieces of food, while the knife was cutting them. The putting of it into the mouth instead of the knife was only an afterthought, due probably to the unclean appearance of the knife blade after it had been used to shovel into the mouth, gravies, egg yolks, acids, etc... For this reason, silver forks were made; they are cleaner than iron and steel forks. Every step, then, from the original use of the fork as a substitute for the fingers, to its more extended use a substitute for the knife, together with the employment of silver in place of iron, has been dictated by cleanliness. —Good Housekeeping, 1880

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Furcifer, Forks and Coryat

Above– A “sucket” fork and spoon combination for eating gingered fruits and sticky foods. “It is true that we have instances of forks even so far back as the pagan Anglo-Saxon period, but they are often found coupled with spoons...” “The dinner was the largest and most ceremonious meal of the day. The hearty character of this meal is remarked by a foreign traveller in England, who published his “Mémoires et Observations” in French in 1698: “Les Anglois,” he tells us, “mangent beaucoup à diner; ils mangent à reprises, et remplissent le sac. Leur souper est leger. Gloutons à midi, fort sobres au soir.” – (The English, eat a lot at dinner; they eat on a regular basis, and fill the bag. Their supper is light. Wolverines at noon, very sober at night.)

In the sixteenth century, dinner still began with the same ceremonious washing of hands as formerly; and there was considerable ostentation in the ewers and basins used for this purpose. This custom was rendered more necessary by the circumstance that at table people of all ranks used their fingers for the purposes to which we now apply a fork. This article was not used in England for the purpose to which it is now applied, until the reign of James I. It is true that we have instances of forks even so far back as the pagan Anglo-Saxon period, but they are often found coupled with spoons, and on considering all the circumstances, I am led to the conviction that they were in no instance used for feeding, but merely for serving, as we still serve salad and other articles, taking them out of basin or dish with a fork and spoon. In fact, to those who have not been taught the use of it, a fork must necessarily be a very awkward and inconvenient instrument. We know that the use of forks came from Italy, the country to which England owed many of the new fashions of the beginning of the seventeenth century. It is curious to read Coryat’s account of the usage of forks at table as he first saw it in that country in the course of his travels. 

“I observed,” says he, “a custome in all those Italian cities and townes through which I passed, that is not used in any other country that I saw in my travels, neither doe I thinke that any other nation of Christendome doth use it, but only Italy. The Italian, and also most strangers that are commorant in Italy, doe alwaies at their meales use a little forke, when they cut their meate. For while with their knife which they hold in one hande they cut the meat out of the dish, they fasten their forke, which they hold in their other hande, upon the same dish, so that whatsoever he be that sitting in the company of any others at meale, should unadvisedly touch the dish of meate with his fingers, from which all at the table do cut, he will give occasion of offence unto the company, as having transgressed the lawes of good manners, insomuch that for his he shall be at the least brow-beaten, if not reprehended in wordes. 

This forme of feeding I understand is generally used in all places of Italy, their forkes being for the most part made of yron or steele, and some of silver, but those are used only by gentlemen. The reason of this their curiosity is, because the Italian cannot by any means indure to have his dish touched with fingers, seeing all men’s fingers are not alike cleane. Hereupon I myself thought good to imitate the Italian fashion by this forked cutting of meate, not only while I was in Italy, but also in Germany, and oftentimes in England since I came home; being once quipped for that frequent using of my forke by a certain learned gentleman, a familiar friend of mine, one Mr. Lawrence Whittaker, who in his merry humour doubted not to call me at table furcifer, only for using a forke at feeding, but for no other cause.” Furcifer, in Latin, it need hardly be observed, meant literally one who carries a fork, but its proper signification was, a villain who deserves the gallows.

The usage of forks thus introduced into England, appears soon to have become common. It is alluded to more than once in Beaumont and Fletcher, and in Ben Jonson, but always as a foreign fashion. In Jonson’s comedy of “The Devil is an Ass,” we have the following dialogue:

Meerc. Have I deserv’d this from you two, for all
My pains at court to get you each a patent?
Gilt. For what?
Meerc. Upon my project o’ the forks.
Sle. Forks? what be they?
Meerc. The laudable use of forks,
Brought into custom here, as they are in Italy,
To th’ sparing o’ napkins.

In fact the new invention rendered the washing of hands no longer so necessary as before, and though it was still continued as a polite form before sitting down to dinner, the practice of washing the hands after dinner appears to have been entirely discontinued.” – A History of Domestic Manners and Sentiments in England, During the Middle Ages, By Thomas Wright, Esq., MA. FSA., 1862 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

On Flatware History and Settings

“In general,” says Graber, “the proper table setting in the United States consists of two forks to the left of the plate, a knife and spoon to the right and any dessert utensils above the plate. The bread plate goes above the plate to the left and the wine and water glasses to the right and above the plate. The fork is never placed atop the napkin, but the napkin may be put on the plate. “I leave the bottom charger plate at the table during the whole meal.” – Graber with Mark Kriski, showing 1996 holiday settings on KTLA Television 

Were you born with a silver spoon in your mouth? Or would you be found below the salt? These expressions of high or low social status were derived from culinary traditions. “Below the salt” goes back to the days when salt was very valuable and therefore reserved for the nobles who sat above others, at the head of the table. “Born with a silver spoon” referred to the boxed sets containing a silver engraved knife, fork and spoon given a child at birth as a symbol of status. The child would take this personal set when he or she went away to school or on visits. Historical tidbits such as these intrigue Maura Graber, director of the R.S.V.P. Institute of Etiquette in Ontario. She often gives lectures on table settings. “I have a fascination for the unusual,” Graber said. “I started my business by giving children classes in etiquette, but as I was researching traditions, I became interested in antique flatware and the different utensils that have been used during the centuries.” 

“It’s said that Catherine De Medici, the Italian Countess, popularized eating utensils,” Graber said. “When royalty starts doing something, everyone starts. The knives, however, were made with blunt edges, so there would be no bloodshed at the table during disagreements.” The fork made then was simpler, stronger and larger than those made just for sweets. The first meat forks had two or three prongs, but a four-pronged type was developed before the end of the 17th century. With the fashion of flatware and serving utensils came a plethora of patterns, styles and types of pieces. “They kind of went nuts,” Graber said. “In Edwardian times, there could be as many as 31 different utensils used for a formal dinner.”

“I like the investigative work,” Graber said. “It's interesting to find out the history.” She has found that in napkin ring etiquette, it's proper in the United States to put the napkin back in the ring, but in France, this is rude because it presumes you are a permanent guest. In her silver collection is an olive spoon from the Victorian times that is coated with vermeil, a thin layer of gold, so the olives wouldn't corrode the silver. “If you have any utensil coated with vermeil, it's a giveaway that it's for something acidic, or salty,” she said, “such as olives.” Husband Cliff's family business is Graber Olives, and the couple and their two children live in the Graber Olive House, which is over 100 years old.

Other vintage utensils she owns are butter forks used for picking up little balls of butter, a sardine fork with a salmon design and a sucket– a fork with a spoon on one end and a two-pronged fork on the other. “This was used for foods like gingered plums, that were very popular during the Colonial times,” she said. “What you would do is spear the plum and eat it and then turn the sucket around and drink the syrup from the spoon side.” Some of the utensils she has are very practical. “One butter knife stands on it’s side in a butter dish rather than flopping over. “These are rather rare.” Graber said.

“In general, the proper table setting in the United States consists of two forks to the left of the plate, a knife and spoon to the right and any dessert utensils above the plate. The bread plate goes above the plate to the left and the wine and water glasses to the right and above the plate. The fork is never placed atop the napkin, but the napkin may be put on the plate. I leave the bottom charger (or service plate) at the table during the whole meal.” Graber said, “It gives you something different to look at between courses, it adds color and it cuts down on spills on the tablecloth.” 

Between her children’s etiquette classes, the adult etiquette dinners she and her husband conduct at their home and her television appearances, Graber is busy. But she doesn't pretend to be a Martha Stewart-like superwoman, even though she did have Stewart to dinner at her house. “My next project will be a no-brainer cookbook, full of recipes that can be made in minutes using things like canned potatoes and frozen bread dough. I use many shortcuts when I cook. I have to,” she said. – Kathy Bryant for the Los Angeles Times, 1997

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Of Etiquette, Olives and Sugar Tongs

In the 1600’s, fork and other flatware usage, could show “the difference between a man of the world,” and a man who did not have “the tune of the time.” A sterling combination fork and spoon for serving olives, circa 1880’s, by Gorham. Over the years, forks and combination utensils were only designed for the serving of olives. They were never designed for the eating of olives. 

And the Fork’s Acceptance 
in 17th Century Europe

“It is a piece of refined coarseness to employ the fingers instead of the fork to effect certain operations at the dinner table, and on some other similar occasions. To know how and when to follow the fashion of Eden, and when that of more civilized life, is one of the many points which distinguish a gentleman from one not a gentleman; or rather, in this case, which shows the difference between a man of the world, and one who has not ‘the tune of the time.’ 

Cardinal Richelieu detected an adventurer who passed himself off for a nobleman, by his helping himself to olives with a fork. He might have applied the test to a vast many other things. Yet, on the other hand, a gentleman would lose his reputation, if he were to take up a piece of sugar with his fingers and not with the sugar-tongs.” – The Laws of Etiquette; or, Short Rules and Reflections for Conduct in Society, 1836 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Fork History

Had the luxurious Romans been users of forks, some specimens of the implement would certainly have been found in the ruins of Herculaneum and Pompeii. But though they fed themselves with their fingers, it must not be imagined that the medievalists were altogether forkless. – Shown left to right- A modern 2-tined appetizer fork, a 19th c. berry fork and a 19th c. strawberry fork.

Dining, Fingers and Forks 

“Fingers were made before forks,” says the familiar adage that had its origin in the warm disdain with which our ancestors of the seventeenth century repudiated the Italian table-fork as a fantastic and even impious contrivance.
Products of necessity, the first culinary forks were devised for the benefit of cooks bent on withdrawing meat from a boiling caldron. The Greek creagra –a staff, fitted at the lower end with a hook or with prongs that bore a distant resemblance to human fingers—was a crude pot-fork, which, though greatly serviceable to cooks, would have been of no convenience to a reclining gourmand. Possessing several varieties of this kitchen tool, the Romans, notwithstanding their care for the caprice as well as the comfort of epicurian feasters, never produced a table fork. 

Caylus and Grignon, indeed, maintained that table forks were not absolutely unknown to imperial gastronomers; but their opinion, which never had the testimony of sufficient facts, has been altogether discredited. Had the luxurious Romans been users of forks, some specimens of the implement would certainly have been found in the ruins of Herculaneum and Pompeii. But though they fed themselves with their fingers, it must not be imagined that the medievalists were altogether forkless. Forty years since, a fork, of Anglo-Saxon manufacture, was discovered in Wiltshire, England, under circumstances which leave no room for doubt that it was made at least as early as the latter part of the ninth century. Another Anglo-Saxon fork, described in Ackerman’s Pagan Saxondom, is a bone handled implement, that some foppish thane may have used, to the mingled surprise and contempt of his simpler acquaintances. And from that period to the close of the Tudor time there is evidence that our ancestors had a few forks long before they were commonly placed on the daily table as necessary articles. 

Queen Elizabeth had at least three forks, one of “crystal, garnished with gold and sparks of garnets: another of coral, slightly garnished with gold, a third of gold garnished with two little rubies, two little pearls pendant, and a little coral.” But it is obvious that these daintily set and jeweled tools were never meant for serious use. Presents from courtiers, who sought the Royal smile with gifts curious for their costly whimsicalness, her highness regarded them as toys fitted for the jewel casket rather than for use at the table. She may have used one of them to pick a sweetmeat or a candied fruit from a dish of syrup, but it certainly never occurred to her to put them into sides of venison or the breast of Michelmas goose. To the last, whether eating in public or private, the Virgin Queen fingered her victuals, and would have imputed sheer madness to any courtier who had prophesied that ere another century had passed no member of the royal family would be able to do likewise without arousing the disgust of all beholders. – Albert Gilman, 1908

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Gilded Age Etiquette Humor

The Gilded Age was the golden age of dining at its finest, which brought about new table etiquette for newly designed utensils, for everything edible and expensive, from turtle soup to nuts.

Table Etiquette 

A correspondent, who is somewhat of a philanthropist in his way, sends up the following hints  on Table Etiquette, for the benefit of the members of the club. We believe they will be superfluous to most of our readers, but as our correspondent begs us not to lose the opportunity of improving the present occasion we append them: 

1. Do not commence eating before your host gets through with his grace. I have known some men to bite a biscuit as large as a blacking-box into a half-moon, and have to hold it between his teeth, under a suspension of the rules during a blessing. This is disgraceful.
2. Do not sup soup with a fork. Your soup will always have you at a disadvantage with such odds. Besides, it is “souperfluous.”
3. In passing your plate to be helped, retain your knife and fork in your vest pocket.
4. When asked for a dish, do not propel it across the surface of the table after the manner or game of shovel-board ; always pitch it gracefully, after the manner of quoits. This will be "quoit" sufficient.
5. Never try to eat fish with a salt-cellar.
6. While drinking, be careful not to empty hot coffee or anything of that sort into your neighbor's paper collar.
7. Do not eat too fast. You will not “get left,” if you make up in heroic doses for that time.
8. If you find anything auspicious in your hash, don't eat any more hash ; And if there is anything wrong in your butter, propose a toast or tell an anecdote.
9. When you burn your mouth with a cold potato, don't whistle or make faces at the company, but shed tears in silence.
10. Never leave the table without asking the lady of the house to be excused ; but if you happen to be at a barbecue or a free lunch, don't leave as long as there is a bone or a crumb in sight.
11. Should you put too much pepper in your soup, and the tears come to your eyes in consequence, do not wipe your eyes and blow your nose in your napkin.
12. As usual, when resting your elbows on the table that your neighbor's little preserve plate is not within reach, not that you need mind upsetting it, for that would only serve him right, but you may get your left sleeve jellied through his carelessness in not giving you room enough.
13. Do not pick your teeth with your fork, or wipe it on the table-cloth after you have just extracted a long piece of sinew from a hollow in one of your double grinders.
14. If you happen to partake of some dish with which you are unacquainted, don't spit it out on your plate with a splutter, as if you had been poisoned, because it might be supposed you had been accustomed to move in society. Simply rap on tbe table with your fork for the servant, and tell him, or her, to fetch a spittoon. By this time, all eyes will be upon you, and as the servant brings the spittoon you can eject the disagreeable mouthful with a proper air of disgust, remarking that you always hated French “kickshaws,” and preferred something the real origin of which you could guess at. By this proceeding you will let the people at the table see you know a thing or two, and are not to be easily taken in. –From the New York Dispatch, 1871

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia  

Table Etiquette Customs Explained

Table etiquette is not, as is often alleged, merely a matter of fashion, although some things that were in vogue a generation or two ago, are no longer deemed polite.The reason is that manners and table furniture have undergone so many changes, have really so much improved, as to require a mutual adjustment. 

While certain forms of table etiquette may seem altogether conventional, even fantastic, the forms usually observed are founded on good sense, and adapted to general convenience. Table etiquette is not, as is often alleged, merely a matter of fashion, although some things that were in vogue a generation or two ago, are no longer deemed polite. The reason is that manners and table furniture have undergone so many changes, have really so much improved, as to require a mutual adjustment. 

For example, everybody was accustomed, twenty or thirty years since, to use the knife to carry food to the mouth, because the fork of the day was not adapted to the purpose. Since the introduction of the four-tined silver fork, it has so entirely supplanted the knife, that the usage of the latter, in that way, is not only superfluous, but is regarded as a vulgarism. Another example is the discontinuance of the custom of turning tea or coffee from the cup into the saucer. Although small plates were frequently employed to set the cup in, they were not at all in general use; and even when they were used, the tea or coffee was likely to be spilled upon the cloth. The habit, likewise, of putting one’s knife into the butter arose from the fact that the butter-knife proper had not been thought of. Such customs as these, once necessitated by circumstances, are now obviously inappropriate. 

Certain habits, however, are regulated with good taste and delicacy of feeling, and the failure to adopt them argues a lack of fine perception or social insight. One of these is eating or drinking audibly. No sensitive person can hear any one taking his soup, coffee or other liquid, without positive annoyance. Yet those who would be very unwilling to consider themselves ill bred are constantly guilty of such breaches of politeness. The defect is that they are not so sensitive as those with whom they come in contact. They would not be disturbed by the offence; they never imagine, therefore, that any one else can be. It is for them that rules of etiquette are particularly designed. Were their instinct correct, they would not need the rule, which, from the absence of instinct, appears to them irrational, and purely arbitrary. To rest one’s elbow on the table is more than a transgression of courtesy, it is an absolute inconvenience to one’s neighbors. 

All awkwardness of position, such as sitting too far back from, or leaning over the table, are reckoned as rudeness, because they put others ill at ease through fear of such accidents as are liable to happen from any uncouthness. This and kindred matters are trifles; but social life is so largely composed of trifles, that to disregard them wholly is a serious affront. We can hardly realize to what extent our satisfaction of dissatisfaction is made up of things in themselves insignificant, until their observance or nonobservance is brought directly home to us. —Scribner’s Monthly, 1875

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia  

Fork, Spork and Knork Etiquette

(Above) An Albert Coles, coin silver, pickle fork– These were popular in the mid-19th century. Often sold in sets with knives, for eating pickled foods, they fell in and out of fashion quickly. Foods like pickled eggs, pickled pigs feet, pickled peaches, pickled asparagus, etc... were  elegantly eaten by using these forks.

(Above) Corn on the cob with a wide variety of forks and holders.–Green corn was a popular Victorian era food to serve. Rarely seen on fine dining tables today, corn on its cob was served then, as finger bowls were also at the table for each guest.

(Above) Two different melon forks, one in silver plate with a hollow handle and the other, in sterling. In France, melon forks were usually sold in sets with knives. In the U.S., most were sold as individual forks for dining.

(Above) A pie, pickle or even a "Nelson fork" — Some fork designs were sold for different purposes in different regions of the U.S. and in Europe. Other utensils were modified a bit to suit new foods, as foods that were considered delicacies, fell into and out of,  fashion. A "Nelson fork" was a fork adapted for eating with one hand, after British Vice Admiral Horatio Nelson lost his arm while fighting Napoleon at Tenerife.

(Above) An individual, Victorian cheese fork. These can be brought out with the fruit and cheese course or placed for each guest above the plate with a fork and spoon for dessert.

                               

(Above) Two individual corn forks (or knorks - knife-fork combinations), a small and large, and one individual corn scraper. Corn forks were made with one side a bit thinner and sharp, for scraping the kernels from one's corn at the table, if one was not given a corn scraper or corn stripper. Corn scrapers or strippers, were used like forks, but they were designed with "teeth" to cut the kernels off a cob at the table. The rule that no more than 3 forks are to be set to the left of a place setting, meant that some forks or dining tools, were brought out with the food itself, for each guest. Otherwise, Victorian era place settings would be too large for a regular dining table to accommodate more than one guest at each side of the table.

I have a theory a bit different than the common belief shared by many who have written books on Victorian habits and dining. The majority of them propagate the belief that it was a fear of foods being tainted by other humans, which created such a demand for the vast amount of designs for silver utensils in late 19th to early 20th centuries. (With our abundant use of hand sanitizer and anti-bacterial soaps, what will future generations say about us?) It’s true, there were inventors with patents obtained for sanitary cups, clips for drinking glasses, utensils and straws, etc... during the late 1800s and early 1900s. But I believe it was a complex combination of factors that drove the rush to create new pieces of table silver. The first may have been what lay in tin cans. 

When a Parisian candy maker named Nicolas Appert won 12,000 francs in 1809, it was for his inventing a new way to preserve foods. Prior to that time, pickling or salting and drying were the preferred methods of preserving foods. Napoleon had offered the prize of 12,000 francs, while preparing to invade Russia. With severe malnutrition decimating his troops, he knew he needed another way of stocking and preserving foods for something as involved as his Russian campaign. Appert used widemouthed, corked glass bottles that he filled with food, and heated in boiling water to find that solution. This new method of safely preserving foods, led to the invention of “tinned foods” or, the tin can, by Englishman Peter Durand. Tin cans would soon be used for feeding the British navy and army. New “tinning” or canning also meant more foods were available to the masses, as spoilage was no longer an issue. Price was still a concern for most consumers outside the military, though. 

"I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?" –Comedian George Carlin ~ (Above) The smallest forks in the fork family are for cherries and berries. They also work well when eating kumquats. 

Early tinned and canned items were too expensive for those in the lower, and even middle-class income brackets, at the time. Sardines were one imported tinned food that the wealthy could afford to serve, so sardine servers, dishes and tongs, like those pictured, were offered in abundance at the time. Tinned sardines and other such foods, offered an elegant way to not only outdo one’s neighbors, but an easy way illuminate one’s home.

A very well lit home was coveted in an era when candlelight and gaslight were the only substitutes for the sun. Mirrors, tin ceilings, gold and the all important, silver dining accoutrements, combined with sparkling crystal, all reflected one’s well-placed candles and chandeliers. Pricey wall sconces were designed with numerous concave “reflectors,” adding to a sconce's output of light. The number one factor for such a variety of silver and gold laid out at one’s table was surely light.   

(Above) Combination fork and spoons, like these for terrapin (turtle soup) or ice cream and desserts, were very popular for entertaining in the Victorian era.

Another important factor was that once an inexpensive form of silver plating was devised – electroplating– , the ownership of silver was no longer limited to the wealthy. Housewives and new brides could afford much less expensive silver items, which certainly added to the growing numbers. As silver had only been available to the wealthier in society, an overwhelming public demand soon grew for utensils or servers, designed with anything or everything edible, or drinkable, in mind. 

Marketing strategies were clever, too. If you didn't know you “needed” silver for your table, advertisements in women’s magazines and newspapers, told you they were necessities. They were touted as “heirlooms of the future”, so even if you hadn't felt a great need for them, all your descendants would certainly appreciate your thoughtfulness. One wouldn’t want to deprive their grandchildren of orange spoons with gold-washed, vermeil bowls, or bonbon spoons, like those pictured? Of course not! –Etiquipedia© Site Editor, Maura J. Graber, from her book, “Reaching for the Right Fork”

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

The European Etiquette Evolution

For many years after the fork's introduction, they were considered a ridiculous affectation and foppery. Before forks, using the "fingers of courtesy" were the best mannered method of eating.

 Some Curious Table Manners of 

Europe's "Good Old Days"

It was into in the fourteenth century when the first evidences of art in the shape of silver cups were noticeable on the buffet. The dishes were made of pewter or wood, and spoons of bone, wood or silver. Knives were rare, and on that account guests invited to feasts carried their own knives. Forks came in general use still later, and for long years after their introduction they were considered ridiculous affectation and foppery, and not nearly so convenient as one’s own fingers. 

The Lord and his Lady dipped their fingers into the same plate and sipped their wine from the same cup. Even the Queenly Elizabeth, with all her elaborate ideas of etiquette, was content to carry her food to her month with her fingers, and at first despised the newly invented fork as unseemly and awkward. Very gradually the dinning-hall grew in comfort and splendor. Dishes of gold and silver were made, and so eager were the nobles for them that they would sacrifice any thing to possess them. 

The salt-cellar was for a long time the article of highest importance on the board. It was a great affair and stood directly in the center of the table; It was the dividing line; the nobles were seated above the salt, the commoners below; hence grew the proverb: “Below the salt.” The passing of salt was a ceremonious custom, the guest throwing a pinch over his left shoulder and murmuring a blessing. The salt-cellars were of the most curious devices. Sometimes they represented huge animals, sometimes a great, full-blown flower on a long, slender stem, and again they were in the shape of a chariot, mounted on four wheels, on which they were easily run down the table. 

The first glass cups came from Venice during the sixteenth century, and from that time on,  society began to lose many of its primitive ways, and became, in a sense, more refined. Henry VIII was born with luxurious tastes; he had his banquet chairs supplied with velvet cushions, and about this time the parlor or “talking room,” as it was called, was introduced; and here the dames took refuge when the dinner advanced beyond prudent limits, as it invariably did before the finish. 

The cook that presided over the kitchen in those days was not the counterpart of our nineteenth century Bridget, but he was an artist, and generally a man of quality. The ladies of the household, oven those of noble birth, attended to many domestic duties, making the bread, preserving the fruits, while to understand the proper use of starch, was considered a great accomplishment. – The Enterprise and Scimitar, 1888

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia