Proposal Etiquette and the Sexes

The girl might want the man in the case to propose, according to the etiquette of the day she cannot suggest it without fearing to be called forward. In such an instance these two persons, through mutual timidity, fail to arrive at a successful marriage.

Why Shouldn't Women Propose?

 WHAT DO YOU SAY ABOUT IT?

Since the dim ages of antiquity women have had it bred into them that they must sit with folded hands until the “right man” comes along. For years it was considered a disgrace to be a spinster.. The woman who was fastidious enough to wait for the man she really could love and who never met that, man was popularly supposed to be a woman whom all men had refused. Consequently thousands upon thousands of women accepted the first man who. proposed, for fear of being called “old maids.” “Hobson's Choice,” the delightful character comedy which comes, to the Cort Theater next Monday evening, deals with the leap year idea of women proposing. The heroine “gets” the man of her choice, and the result is both happiness and prosperity for both of them.

The coming of “Hobson's Choice,” the discussions that it is sure to bring about, coupled with the fact that 1916 is Leap Year, have suggested to. The Call the idea of finding out just what its readers think about the propriety of “lassie asking lad.”Accordingly it solicits short essays on the subject, such articles not to be over 200 words in length. And it has purchased a box as first prize, a loge as second prize and, twenty pairs of choice orchestra seats to “Hobson's Choice” at the Cort Theater, which will be given to those who, in the judgment of The Call, have sent in the best and cleverest answers to the question, “Why shouldn't women propose?”

The answers should be sent immediately, for some of the best of them will be printed in The Call. The contest will close next Thursday at 12 o'clock noon, and articles received after that time cannot be entered in the contest. Viola Roach, the noted English actress, who is the leading woman of “Hobson's Choice,” and who does the proposing in the play, has some convictions of her own on the subject.

“There is no reason why men should have a monopoly on proposing,” says she. “Many men are as timid as women in, matters of the heart, especially in these days of the advanced woman. A man may meet an attractive girl, well poised, self-possessed, earning her own living, independent in every way, and while she may show a preference. for him he may fear to risk a valued friendship if he received a negative answer when he popped the question. And while the girl in the case might want the man in the case to propose, according to the etiquette of the day she cannot suggest it without fearing to be called forward. In such an instance these two persons, through mutual timidity, fail to arrive at a successful marriage.

“Women should feel thankful that tradition is being overthrown in the matter of proposals. A woman should be advanced enough in these days to propose, or rather suggest, a possible marriage to a man when she feels that in marriage lies the happiness of both of them. I think there would be fewer failures if the job of proposing were left in woman's hands. “Right now is the time to start, You won't have Leap Year for some time, so make hay while the sun shines, girls.”– San Francisco Call, 1916

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia  

Etiquette and Leap Year Proposals

Could this “The Gilded Age” proposal have been any more romantic? Etiquipedia thinks not, especially if Peggy Scott had done the proposing! Besides, 1883 was not a Leap Year.
 – “Considered in the abstract we do not see why a woman should not express her natural preferences as freely as a man in regard to the opposite sex. Indeed, she seems to be free to do so in every other respect but that of love and marriage.”

A Leap Year Proposition

As leap year is upon us the momentous question, Shall women propose? confronts us in various newspaper columns, with its usual four yearly regularity. Conservative people will of course pooh-pooh the idea, and the more frivolous laugh at the same. Some of our radical, would-be social innovators will be advocates, and others will fulminate their varied denunciations.

Considered in the abstract we do not see why a woman should not express her natural preferences as freely as a man in regard to the opposite sex. Indeed, she seems to be free to do so in every other respect but that of love and marriage. And yet is not this the most important of all earthly relations to the human race as society is at present organized?

Mere reasoning aside, however, other considerations enter into our estimates of propriety. Here we have sentiment, which so largely makes up the sum of womanly opinions on most subjects outside of bread and breathing.

As the majority of people think now, and as they will probably continue to think for many years to come, there are certain moral and social questions wherein old time precedent will doubtless continue to rule! The realm of courtship and marriage still lies fully within these prescribed limits.

In this affair it has from time immemorial been her inalienable and altogether charming privilege to be the one who should be sought, wooed and won. Whether this be abstractly right or wrong it is so ingrained in the very nature of society at large that the isolated kicks which are here and there made have so far produced little or no effect. Yankee Blade, 1893

  🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia