Advice on Keeping Napkins in Laps

Keeping napkins on laps, with women in voluminous, satin gown skirts, was made much more difficult than one can imagine, due to the fact that women had to also keep their gloves, fans, and reticules in their laps underneath the napkins. 

In 1860, “The Ladies’ Book of Etiquette and Manual of Politeness,” by Florence Hartley, Mrs. Hartley recommends one bring a pincushion to a dinner party for use with the napkin:

“Sit gracefully at the table; neither so close as to make your movements awkward, nor so far away as to drag your food over your dress before it reaches your mouth. It is well to carry in your pocket a small pincushion, and, having unfolded your napkin, to pin it at the belt. You may do this quietly, without its being perceived, and you will thus really save your dress.

If the napkin is merely laid open upon your lap, it will be very apt to slip down, if your dress is of silk or satin, and you risk the chance of appearing again in the drawing-room with the front of your dress soiled or greased."– Florence Hartley, “The Ladies’ Book of Etiquette and Manual of Politeness,” 1860

 

🍽️ Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Precedent and Etiquette

The case is unprecedented of ladies of official rank visiting the Old World alone," but in lands where precedent and official etiquette are so important it is no laughing matter!

A Matter of Precedent 

Mrs. J. R. McKee and Mrs. Russell Harrison, daughter and daughter-in-law of the president, are now in England and enjoying themselves hugely by ail accounts. The American reader is inclined to smile at the cablegram to the effect that our diplomats abroad are greatly embarrassed, as "the case is unprecedented of ladies of official rank visiting the Old World alone," but in lands where precedent and official etiquette are so important it is no laughing matter. The ladies will visit Paris and Berlin also, and no matter what ceremony is observed there is, as Abraham Lincoln used to say, "No doubt but we shall be able to keep house." — Los Angeles Herald, 1891

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

19th C. Etiquette for Jewish Girls

When she is acquiring her education, it is true, she may go to the public school, but even there the teachings of her home are strong upon her, and she is not so free with her boy companions as is her Christian contemporary. 

America's Daughters of Israel

The Hebrew girl, except among the very wealthy and most thoroughly Americanized families, lives in a state of semi-oriental seclusion. When she is acquiring her education, it is true, she may go to the public school, but even there the teachings of her home are strong upon her, and she is not so free with her boy companions as is her Christian contemporary. 

Her school days once over, she becomes a home bird to a very great extent. It is not proper according to Jewish etiquette for her to accept an invitation to a theater from a young man to whom she is not engaged, if she does, it is immediately taken for granted that the couple are engaged.

 If she goes to a sociable or party her brother or some other member of her family, is almost invariably her escort, though, once arrived at the place of merriment, she mixes as freely with those about her as do Christian girls. Her jollity on such occasions is unconfined and sometimes smacks of old-time Methodist heartiness. 

The kissing games of our ancestors are occasionally introduced with effect; and she proves herself one of the most lively and charming of girls, a perfect romp in fact. The party over, however, away she goes home; in charge of her brother, whose place no young man can usurp unless he engages himself to her. – American Queen, 1884

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Moderator and Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia