Please, No Cups and Saucers...

An informal alfresco table — At the time, morning, noon or night, that coffee is served at the table any to family and/or guests, the equipment should be placed on a small tray at the hostess' place or on an adjacent small table. 

No matter how informal or casual the gathering it is neither attractive table-setting, nor good serving practice, to place a cup and saucer at each individual place on the home table. At the time, morning, noon or night, that coffee is served at the table any to family and/or guests, the equipment should be placed on a small tray at the hostess' place or on an adjacent small table. 

The cups and saucers with a spoon on each saucer to the right of the cup are grouped at the hostess' place, each to be served in turn by her. Cream and sugar on a small tray might be placed on the table and passed by the guests themselves, especially if the hostess has other serving to do. At luncheon or dinner, if there is a maid, she will bring the cup of coffee to the guest after the hostess has poured it, placing it at the right. She will then serve sugar and cream on a small tray from the guest's left. —Helen Sprackling, 1960

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for Serving Coffee for Men

“When there is no maid, coffee may be served at the table by the hostess, before the men and women separate; or, if men and women are not to be separated, it is served in the living room. If liqueurs are to be served, they are brought before the coffee cups are removed.” – Above, a 19th century maid serving coffee. 

Coffee for the Men

In the dining room, where the men have been left behind, coffee is served before the women have been given their coffee in the living room. The dining room service parallels that in the living room; for example, if the more formal version has been used in the living room it should be observed in the dining room, too, the butler coming first with the tray holding an empty cup, sugar, and cream, and the coffeepot, the footman following with the extra cups. 

The only difference between coffee service in the dining room and in the living room is that the host rarely pours the coffee himself; even when the hostess is to serve the coffee in the living room, the maid may serve the men first. When there is no maid, coffee may be served at the table by the hostess, before the men and women separate; or, if men and women are not to be separated, it is served in the living room. If liqueurs are to be served, they are brought before the coffee cups are removed.– From Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Coffee Etiquette in Mid 20th C. America

In the Living Room 

After a semiformal or a formal dinner, coffee is not traditionally served at table. The French custom is that men and women have their coffee together in the living room, but the English custom of serving the women in the living room and the men in the dining room or library has become standard for all entertaining in America except the most informal. 

Soon after the women have left the dining room, the coffee is brought in to them. The most formal version of this system— and the one usually followed if the service has been elaborate— is that the butler or first waitress carries a small tray with the sugar, the cream, one cup, and the coffeepot. The footman or second waitress follows with a tray of empty cups. The butler goes first to the most important woman guest, saying, "Coffee, Madam?" and offering the tray. He fills the cup; the guest helps herself to sugar and cream, and takes the cup.

A slight variation of this is to have the sugar and cream on the big tray with the empty cups. The butler inquires as to each guest's preference, pours the coffee, puts the cup on his small tray and offers it to the guest.

The second way of serving in the living room is managed by the waitress or butler alone. All the cups– five are usually the maximum possible – and the sugar and cream are balanced on a tray on one hand. The coffee is poured from a pot held in the other hand, and each guest helps himself to sugar and cream.

Still a third way– but, again, somewhat contrary to good service– is to have the butler bring a tray of filled cups, with the sugar and cream; each guest helps herself. Finally, and this is probably used more than any other– the complete coffee tray, with empty cups, coffeepot, sugar and cream, is brought in and set down on a low table in front of the hostess. After asking each guest what she likes in the way of sugar and cream, the filled cups are passed to the women by the hostess, or each guest comes up to take her cup for herself. – From Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

After Dinner Coffee Etiquette

The custom of serving coffee in the drawing room or living room after dinner is one that we have borrowed from France, and it is such a simple ceremony to perform that it is sure to become more usual among us. At ceremonious dinners it is still customary among some persons for the men to remain at the table after the women have withdrawn. 

After Dinner Coffee in Favor

“Coffee, which makes the politican wise, And see through all things with his half-shut eyes.” – Pope

The custom of serving coffee in the drawing room or living room after dinner is one that we have borrowed from France, and it is such a simple ceremony to perform that it is sure to become more usual among us. At ceremonious dinners it is still customary among some persons for the men to remain at the table after the women have withdrawn. Then coffee is served in the drawing room to the women, and to the men—usually with cigars and liquors —in the dining room. Now it is quite plain to see that this custom is not one that will ever be adopted in this country in any great number of families. 

Where men neither smoke nor drink liquor it would be absurd. Moreover, many women dislike the custom, as it seems to imply that the men of the party will enjoy talking better when they are not present. At any rate, it would never be popular at the small family dinner. However, the custom of serving coffee in the drawing room is one that could be adopted in every household. Where one man is kept it is a convenience, as lingering at the table is then not a temptation and the servant does not have to wait till after coffee has been drunk leisurely before clearing the table. 

Even in the household where no servant is kept, it has its advantages. One clever housewife I know, who dexterously puts the dinner dishes away in a large, closed tin box, to be washed in the morning, so she may enjoy after dinner leisurely with her husband. She hastily cleans the table and with the assistance of her little daughter, starts the coffee immediately after the family has risen from the table, and then, within five minutes, is ready for coffee in the drawing room, with as much appearance of leisure as the woman who has five servants. 

The coffee service on a tray should be placed on a convenient table, where the mistress of the house should pour it. Then a servant, or preferably in small establishments, a daughter of the house, should hand around the cups. She should take one cup and saucer in the left hand and the sugar the the right. Most persons do not use cream in after dinner coffee—in fact, it is not the conventional thing to do—so it is not part of the usual after dinner coffee service. 

Where it is served, a little combination sugar and cream set may be passed, or the sugar dish and cream pitcher placed on a tray may be held in the right hand it is customary to take the coffee slowly, though it should never be scooped up. The spoon is to use merely to stir the sugar and then to test the coffee —to see whether it is of the right temperature for drinking. – By Mary Marshall Duffee in the Morning Union, 1917

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia