Showing posts with label Gilded Age Entertaining Etiquette. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gilded Age Entertaining Etiquette. Show all posts

Saturday, August 23, 2025

Gilded Age Etiquette and Dinners

Fake it ‘til you make it, or at least until your chef does! – If one did not have a pretend French chef, a gas oven was provided and left in the family kitchen. The meal went into the house in a caterer’s basket… – Image from HBO’s “The Gilded Age”

For those out West… Chicago, that is… 

The principal meal of all people of all ages has been undoubtedly dinner, and the lover of old time customs will find it both interesting and entertaining to notice the various changes which have taken place in the etiquette of the dinner table.-Chicago Herald

For those in NYC with no French chef, or even faux French chef …
There are perhaps thirty caterers within a mile of Union Square, New York city, who make a business of supplying private dining tables. For the regular customer, a gas oven is provided and left in the family kitchen. The meal goes to the house in a caterer’s basket, and is popped out of the basket into the oven. Therefore there is no danger of cold dinners. – From Women’s World, 1892

 

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Wednesday, June 12, 2024

Gilded Age Tips for Dinner Hostesses

Glorious color of melons… “Attention was not drawn to the table, but taken away from it. Unconsciously we were all in place, and unconsciously  engaged in eating fruit. Then some glorious color of melon or currants or peaches drew the eye and mind, and we were led into a delightful realization of the delicious flavors that touched our palates. But all this was a complex sensation. We felt not only the flavors, but we saw the beauties. Dining was aesthetic, intellectual as well as physical.”


Enjoying a Meal:
A Woman Who Knows the Right Way to Make Eating Enjoyable

A Hint to Many Housewives:
No Formality, No Stiffness, but Just Sociability and Perfect Ease- It Aids Digestion


I must tell you about a delightful dinner which I lately enjoyed with some friends in a suburban villa of Boston:

In the first place, dinner was on time, I do not know any more annoying and fretting affair than irregularity of meals. A housekeeper who has no sense of time and has no regard for the instincts of her family is thoroughly selfish. The stomach calls out at regular periods, and if then it is put off and irritated the subconscious animal functions become very conscious and finally greedy. In the family to which I refer there was a certain time when we were expected to be prepared for dinner. The family and friends gathered in gradually from their walks and rides and work, and without exacting precision the hour of found us within call.

The second point to be noted was the absence of formality. We quietly strolled into the dining room, unburdened with ceremony. But there was no lack of refinement and civility. We sat down without rudeness, but with the best of good cheer. I think the most annoying etiquette is that of the table. There are families where I am welcomed, who crush me with politeness, I am afraid to sit down before the rest, or to touch the food on my plate until a signal is given. But somehow, here my hostess had me at once engaged in a little chat on a topic that took me far away from dining and food. She covered the few moments of gathering with the nicest art of conversation. 

Attention was not drawn to the table, but taken away from it. Unconsciously we were all in place, and unconsciously  engaged in eating fruit. Then some glorious color of melon or currants or peaches drew the eye and mind, and we were led into a delightful realization of the delicious flavors that touched our palates. But all this was a complex sensation. We felt not only the flavors, but we saw the beauties. Dining was aesthetic, intellectual as well as physical.

The third charm of the dinner at my friend’s was that there were no formal courses. Do you know what horrible things are these stiff and numbered courses? There was something on the table before we arrived, and quite enough to make sure that every one would be able to find that which pleases. When any one seemed to be through her plate was slipped away by an attentive servant, and with clean plates other foods were quietly offered. The variety was sufficient, and no one was compelled to sit playing with a fork or spoon while his or her neighbors finished a course. Easy conversation went on, and the eye of the noble hostess, while very observant, was never meddlesome.

But as a fourth delight, there was no hurry. I notice that when people go to the table simply to eat, they tumble down a great deal of food as if into a pot or jar. The result is the stomach is made at once concious that it is a slave and must do an enormous amount of hard work. It generally refuses. I never knew after dinner at Mrs. S.’s that I had been eating, nor did I ever have any consciousness about digestion. 
It is exceedingly disagreeable to have our unconscious faculties made conscious, for that is sure to end in dyspepsia. But here, at my friends, when we were through dinner, we were through-that is, we had no indigestible compounds to torture us. Our stomachs were never thought of. Mainly we had not hurried because the dining had not been a purely physical process.

There were no personalities. It is awful to be singled out at table and have your queerness all paraded. Every one has idiosyncrasies of taste, and has a right to them, but when the hostess says: “You don't eat butter, do you? Why not? Don't you think butter is healthy?” she draws attention to your private business, and eating gets to be awkward- unless indeed you are egotistical enough to like to be talked about, or, worse yet, to talk about yourself, and then you soon get to be a nuisance. 

No, whatever you do, do not parade your oddities of eating, and do not encourage your hostess in doing it. On the whole, the articles of food on the table make a poor topic for conversation. My friend had a delicate way of tripping any bad tendency of the sort. I do not know what we were talking about all the time, but it was all so pleasant we barely knew we were eating.

Then there was an atmosphere of friendliness about the table. But of that I cannot talk. Who knows how to describe that exquisite flavor of goodwill that makes the best part of the life of a true family? Each one kissed the mother as they came in, and not with formality, I assure you. And we went out feeling that our first end in life was not to eat, but that a right sort of dinner was a glorious affair. – by Mary E. Spencer in St. Louis Globe-Democrat, 1894


  🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Thursday, June 8, 2023

Gilded Age Lemon Parties

Of course, everyone who received one of these mysterious summonses was consumed by curiosity. What could “Please bring a lemon” mean? The only way to ascertain seemed to be to comply with the invitation. The Washington Market seemed glutted with the meanest little dried-up lemons ever seen. Tuesday at seven p. m., with the lemons in their hands, the guests presented themselves at Mrs. Jones’ hospitable home. 
JOLLY LEMON PARTIES
The Latest Fad In Washington Social Entertainments

It soems as if the poor little lemon had arrived at the height of its usefulness when made to do duty, with the adjunct of ten cents’ worth of citric acid, for a barrel of church lemonade, but now the “Progressive Lemon Party” is brought to the front, and here it plays a part unassisted by any chemical compounds of itself. A prominent Washington lady issued invitations last week which read: 

Mrs. Jones. At home, Tuesday, 7 p.m., 
Please bring a lemon.

Of course, everyone who received one of these mysterious summonses was consumed by curiosity. What could “Please bring a lemon” mean? The only way to ascertain seemed to be to comply with the invitation. The Washington Market seemed glutted with the meanest little dried-up lemons ever seen. Tuesday at seven p. m., with the lemons in their hands, the guests presented themselves at Mrs. Jones’ hospitable home. 

They were shown in to a charming little cloak room, with yellow decorations. and after removing wraps were greeted by the hostess, who was resplendent in a black lace over a lem-on-colored satin, and carried in her hand an immense bunch of yellow roses. After greeting each guest, the hostess asked her to “take her lemon to the dining-room and register.” 

The dining-room was a blaze of golden light from tiny fairy lamps with yellow shades. The dining table had lemon-colored silk napery, which was relieved by a fiat centerpiece of delicate ferns and Catherine Mermet roses. At a side table sat a lady and gentleman, who, all were informed, composed the “Squeezing Committee.” This committee took the name on a register, and tied a ribbon, marked in such a way as to be distinguishable, on each lemon. After the arrival of all the guests and the marking of all the lemons, they were invited to again assemble in the dining-room while the “Squeezing Committee” counted the seeds.” 

Each lemon was cut in half, the seeds extracted, and after being counted and duly accredited to the owner on the register, they were placed in a beautiful transparent glass bowl. The lemon was taken by the “Squeezing Committee” and “squoze” into an immense punch-bowl. The guests were then invited to a repast of strictly lemon-made edibles —lemon ice, lemon ice-cream, lemon cake, lemon jelly, sardines and lemon, lemon-cream pie, and every conceivable sort of lemon-flavored food. Placed beside each plate was a bunch of yellow roses, tied with a satin bow of the same shade. 

After partaking of this unique repast, the glass bowl containing the seeds was placed on the table and a prize offered to her who should guess the number of seeds therein, and a “booby prize” to him who should hazard the least accurate guess. After numerous methods both fair and foul, had been resorted to, and each “guess” had been duly registered, the seeds were counted and the prizes awarded. 

The winner of the grand prize, coming within three of the correct number, received an exquisite lemon-colored glass lemonade bowl, while the “booby” was made happy with a wooden lemon-squeezer. A prize was then awarded to her whose lemon contained the most seeds, and another to her who had the fewest. Meanwhile, skillful hands had prepared a punch in the large bowl into which the lemons were squeezed.— Washington Letter, 1889



🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Thursday, January 5, 2023

Gilded Age Etiquette for Garden Parties

Garden Parties were popular entertainments in the Gilded Age. This photo above is proof that they remained popular well into the 1920’s … 
Above -‘Garden Party’ Photographed by Edward Steichen, 1927 (photo source, Twitter) — As the weather is by no means always to be counted upon to remain fine, it is seldom considered advisable to have the whole of the refreshment tables out of doors, and thus only ices, berries and cream and ice cups are served out of doors. Tea, coffee and the rest, with iceland berries and cream over again, are invariably served within doors. But refreshment tables out of doors considerably take off the strain from the tables in the tearoom, especially during the first half hour, when the great rush is made in this direction.

Manners and Customs Practiced Polite Society:
Garden Parties… The Advantages and Pleasures of These Out of Door Summer Receptions

Town garden parties resolve themselves into large receptions given out of doors, and those who know what crowded drawing rooms imply in the sultry summer days are particularly glad of this change of place. They will willingly spend an hour or more at one of these out of door reunions instead of thinking a quarter of an hour's stay all too long indoors, where it is a case of heat versus draft, and difficult to determine which is the most objectionable experienced in drawing room, bed-room or even on a staircase. Although these functions are designated garden parties, yet the real style and title are ‘at-homes’, the address being sufficient indi- cation to the invited guests as to the description of entertainment to be given.

A band playing in the grounds where the garden party is given would appear to be a sine qua non, but the excellence of the same is merely a question of expense.

As the weather is by no means always to be counted upon to remain fine, it is seldom considered advisable to have the whole of the refreshment tables out of doors, and thus only ices, berries and cream and ice cups are served out of doors. Tea, coffee and the rest, with iceland berries and cream over again, are invariably served within doors. But refreshment tables out of doors considerably take off the strain from the tables in the tearoom, especially during the first half hour, when the great rush is made in this direction.

Even a large tent or marquee is not considered altogether desirable for refreshments, as under a burning sun the air within becomes overheated and oppressive, while in the case of a downpour the results are always disastrous. The popularity of garden parties is incontestable in propitious weather.

Arrivals at a garden party are made al- most simultaneously, or follow in rapid succession, so that host-and hostess have between arrivals and departures an opportunity for a little friendly conversation with many of the guests, while at an ‘at home’ the hostess has to be at her post from 4:30 to 7, as guests arrive continuously even close up to the hour named for departure. The host is usually present at a garden party.

A man in the open air is at his best, and therefore a garden party appeals to a host almost as much as it does to a guest.— San Diego Union and Bee, 1895


🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Saturday, May 28, 2022

Themes and Gilded Age Levees

Unusual parties of all sorts were commonplace in the Gilded Age. Hostesses were always making attempts to outdo one another in creativity and novelty. The guests at this event wore dominoes? Where? In their hair? The report tells us that the ladies were “elegantly costumed” but fails to mention how they wore the dominoes and why they wore dominoes. But the domino party is certainly not nearly as creative or novel as the “Doll Tea Party” with young adults mainly in attendance during an episode of Julian Fellowes’ and HBO’s “The Gilded Age.” – “Whether their fortunes were old or new, members of Gilded Age society reveled in hosting and attending teas, cotillions, lawn parties, luncheons, and formal dinners—all of which had their own codes of dress and manners. Even picnics were served on fine china.” – SmithsonianAssociates.org

A Brilliant Domino Party 

A brilliant levee was held last evening at the residence of Mrs. Thomas Hildreth, corner of Seventh and Reed streets. The guests wore dominoes, and the ladies were elegantly costumed. The reception was given by Miss Diana Murphy, assisted by Miss Virgie Murphy. Mrs. Dan Murphy and Miss Diana received the guests. The elegant mansion was a blaze of light from top to bottom. The dancing floor was covered with canvass, and at 9:30 dancing commenced. Parkman's band supplied the music.

The company represented the creme de la creme of San Jose society. At 11:30 the dominoes were removed, and at 12 o'clock supper was announced. This important adjunct of the event was conspicuous for its bounty and luxurious provision. It was a royal banquet. Everything passed off in the happiest manner. Miss Diana Murphy is a charming young lady, and her management of this congress of beauty and fashion was a triumph of generalship. Many of the dominoes were quite novel in pattern and color, and the whole affair was characterized by elegance and strict etiquette.

Following is a list of the guests: Miss Annie Colambet, Miss Lois Singletary, Miss Effie Smith, Miss Marcella Spring, Miss D. Sinnott, Miss Ada Ryland, Miss Ryland, Miss Mamie Cory, Miss Carrie Campbell, Miss Gertrude Moore, Miss Amelia Fisher, Miss Virgie Murphy, Miss Viola Lawrey, Miss May Bethell, Miss Lou Bethell, Miss Florence Younger, Miss Gussie Younger, Miss Alice Younger, Miss Fannie Enright, Miss Mary A. Enright, Miss Emma Hildreth, Miss Laura Hildreth, Miss Linda Hildreth, Miss Polhemus, Miss Ida George, Miss Mattie George, Miss Mamie Wilson, Miss Jennie Wilson, Miss Fannie Montgomery, Miss Belle Montgomery, Miss Sallie Trimble, Miss Maggie Trimble, Miss Susie Stone, Miss Ida Davis, Miss Leonia Gambert, Miss Kate Lewis, Miss May Lewis, Miss Lucie Houghton; Mr. and Mrs. Frank Staples, Mr. and Mrs. Dr. Caldwell, Mr. and Mrs. Dr. Thorne, Mr. and Mrs. Charles Hensley, Mr. and Mrs. Capt. Maddox, Mr. and Mrs. Col. Younger, Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Enright, Mr. and Mrs. J. M. Murphy, Mr. and Mrs. Dr. Ben Cory, Mr. and Mrs. Dan Murphy, Mr. and Mrs. J. T. Murphy, Mr. and Mrs. T. W. Spring, Mr. and Mrs. P. McArdle, Mr. and Mrs. Dr. Finigan; Mrs. T. H. Burke; Messrs. Joc Ellis, Chas. B. Hensley, Wm. George, Fred. Saxe, Nich. Bowden, Col. Younger, Mr. Schrieve, Horace H. Stevenson, Ed. Rhodes, Chas. Williams, Ned Younger, Shelby Stone, J. B. Clark, A.W. Inglesby, Frank Metcalf, Frank Lewis, O. N. Kent, D. W. Wallis, C. M. Shortridge, Chas. White, Geo. Polhemus, Clemi Columbet, Chas, Chapman, Dan Murphy Jr., Peter Columbet, J Columbet, Willie Beans, Robt. Brennam, J. R. Loeb, W.L. Gill, John Ryland, Jos. Barry, Joe Maddox, Harry Pierce, John Cory, Howell Moore, T. W. Hobson.
 – San Jose Mercury, 1881



🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Monday, April 4, 2022

Gilded Age New Year’s Entertaining

Hot oysters, salads, boned turkeys, quail, and hot terrapin are offered by the wealthy, and wines are poured ad libitum, but this is a difficult table to keep in order when 10 men call at one o’clock, and 40 at four o’clock, and none between. The best table is one furnished with boned turkey and jellied tongues and pâtés which cut easily, sandwiches easy to eat, with cake and fruit merely as an ornamental aside, while the modern and admirable adjunct of a spirit-lamp under a tea-kettle keeps the bouillon, tea, and coffee always hot.

A lady who expects to have many calls, and who wishes to offer refreshments, should have hot coffee and tea and a bowl of punch on a convenient table, or, better still, a silver kettle filled with bouillon standing in the hall, so a gentleman can take a cup of it, unsolicited, going in or coming out. If she lives in an English basement house, this table can be in the lower dining-room. In a house three rooms deep, the table and all the refreshments can be in the usual dining-room, or, if she pleases, in the upper back parlor. Of course her “grand spread” can be as gorgeous as she pleases.

Hot oysters, salads, boned turkeys, quail, and hot terrapin are offered by the wealthy, and wines are poured ad libitum, but this is a difficult table to keep in order when ten men call at one o’clock, and forty at four o’clock, and none between. The best table is one furnished with boned turkey and jellied tongues and pâtés which cut easily, sandwiches easy to eat, with cake and fruit merely as an ornamental aside, while the modern and admirable adjunct of a spirit-lamp under a tea-kettle keeps the bouillon, tea, and coffee always hot.

These, with the tea-cups necessary to serve them, should be on a small table at one side. A maid in a neat cap and apron should be in con stant attendance on this table, and a man-servant or two will be needed to attend the door (which should never be left for a moment unattended) and to wait on the table. The man at the door should have a silver waiter or neat card-receiver, which he holds out for the card when the gentleman enters. If the gentleman is not known to the lady of the house, he sends in his card; if he is, he does not send it in, but leaves it with the waiter, who deposits it in some receptacle, where it is kept until the lady can examine all her cards the next day. If the gentleman is calling on a young lady, and is not known to the hostess, he sends in his card to the young lady, who presents him to the hostess and to all the ladies present. 

If the room is full, she can content herself with presenting the gentleman to her hostess. If the room is comparatively empty, it is much kinder to introduce the gentleman to all the ladies, as it tends to make conversation more easy. There can be no objection to this. As a gentleman rises to make his exit, the lady can say, “Won't you take some refreshment?” and motion him toward the dining-room. But this hospitality should never be urged upon a man. Few gentlemen accustomed to dine late like to spoil their dinners. In a country neighborhood, or after a long walk, most gentlemen, however, do like to break their fast, and go in willingly to eat a slice of boned turkey and to take a few pickled oysters, or simply to eat a sandwich and take a cup of bouillon.

The etiquette of New-Year’s is also peremptory in not asking a gentlemen if “you can relieve him of his hat,” or asking him to leave off his overcoat. He will prefer probably to wear his overcoat and to carry his hat in his hand during his brief visit. If he wishes to leave off either, he will do so in the hall. But on that point he is a free moral agent, and it is not a part of the duty of any hostess to even suggest what he shall do with his clothes.— Harpers Bazar, 1883



Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Wednesday, March 30, 2022

Gilded Age Fad in Dinner Parties

First you decide how many courses will be desirable—eight, for instance—and then get eight women living as nearby as possible in the same neighborhood, to agree each to serve a course at her own house. After that, all is plain sailing unless it rains. The itinerary is arranged, a schedule worked out and the guests— 10 is a good number—invited to meet at a certain house at 7 o’clock for clams and soup. 



Over in Elizabeth, the society people have discovered a new form of entertainment. It is a progressive dinner—not of the ordinary, everyday sort, where the men move, up two seats with each course, so as to be able to get off the same jokes several times during the evening, but something much more novel and elaborate. It is done this way: 
First you decide how many courses will be desirable—eight, for instance—and then get eight women living as nearby as possible in the same neighborhood, to agree each to serve a course at her own house. After that, all is plain sailing unless it rains. The itinerary is arranged, a schedule worked out and the guests— ten is a good number—invited to meet at a certain house at 7 o’clock for clams and soup. 
One of the men takes charge of the progressive part, and announces that it is time to progress. The table is left instantly, for it would never do to be late at the next house, as the penalty would be cold fish. The same plan is carried through the evening, and in turn the entree. Roman Punch, roast, salad, dessert and coffee are enjoyed at different houses. Partners are changed at each house, and if the guests are well chosen a very jolly evening results.

This new method of dining certainly has some merits. It gives, for instance, each hostess a chance to show great ingenuity in the decorations of her table. At an Elizabeth dinner for the fish course, the table was covered with a fish net, the place cards were small clam shells and among the decorations were several ponds containing fish, which appropriateness would have been out of the question with other courses preceding and to follow it.
 
Then it famishes the guests with a large collection of favors, while at the same time giving great occasion for individuality and rivalry, among the hostesses in their selection. And, above all it furnishes exercise between each course and chances for innocent flirtatious under the silver moon while going on to the next house. But only think what fun it would all be in a heavy rain!—Newark (N. J.) Call, 1900


🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Tuesday, February 9, 2021

Gilded Age Guide for Wine Glasses

Above would be a glass for sherry — “A red glass is suitable for white wines; green for various kinds of Rhine wine, while white of small size signifies sherry.”

 


Glasses for wines should indicate, by shape or color, the kind for which they are intended. Thus, a red glass is suitable for white wines; green for various kinds of Rhine wine, while white of small size signifies sherry. Claret glasses are larger than port glasses, while those for champagne are thin in the stem and of wide brim.


Beautiful little baskets are now in fashion as liqueur stands. Each contains four bottles, while around the edges of the basket are 12 little hooks from which depend small square shaped glasses. Usually bottles and stoppers are of different colors, while the little glasses correspond by having handles unlike the body of the glass.


Brandy and bitters are served in fashionable quarters upon a little tray of exquisite Bohemian glass. The set consists of large and small bottles, sugar bowl, and two or three tumblers. — New York Times, October 1882



Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia


Wednesday, January 20, 2021

Skip the Fads When Entertaining

“At a recent dinner party the hostess, wishing to indulge in some novelty, had the cheese cut precisely in the shape and size of an ordinary piece of pie. When placed on the plate, it closely resembled a cut of custard pie. It was first passed to an elderly gentleman, who, without observing closely, took it supposing it to be pie, and put it down by his plate. After a time, the hostess sent the servant for it, and with a fork removed a small piece, after which it was passed to the other guests.” — Photo of a Victorian sterling silver cheese fork. 
— Source, Etiquipedia private photo library.



Hostesses Should Avoid Table Innovations

In these days, when the social aim and object of every hostess seems to be to get up something new, it would be well to have some way to indicate the use or management of novelties and thereby spare the guests much embarrassment. When dishes are to be served in any unusual way, some hint should be given to some of the guests, and others may take note of the manner of handling, and thus avoid confusion and awkwardness. 

At a recent dinner party the hostess, wishing to indulge in some novelty, had the cheese cut precisely in the shape and size of an ordinary piece of pie. When placed on the plate, it closely resembled a cut of custard pie. It was first passed to an elderly gentleman, who, without observing closely, took it supposing it to be pie, and put it down by his plate. After a time, the hostess sent the servant for it, and with a fork removed a small piece, after which it was passed to the other guests. 

There are few things more annoying than the consciousness that one has made some blunder at table. In some way, it has come to be an accepted idea that to go wrong in such things is to be in a condition of dense ignorance. As a matter of fact, there are so many changes, so many fads, so many new wrinkles and so much rivalry between ladies in the same society, that innovations are continually sought out and eagerly adopted. The wonder is not that people make mistakes, but that they make so few. 

At one time, the spoon and fork must be used in some special way. After a time, there is an entire change in this custom. People who go out but rarely cannot, or at least do not, keep up with the fads and fancies of the social swim and consequently are likely to do certain things in the old way, which is quite unlike the new, and of course are made uncomfortable by the discovery that they have violated some portion of the code of social etiquette. 

It would be well if eminent social authorities could prepare a set of rules and have them adopted and rigidly adhere to them. This would make things easier for entertainers as well as guests, and be much more satisfactory in every respect. Hostesses in places removed from fashionable centers should be specially careful about indulging in innovations. In nothing are genuine refinement and culture more clearly shown than in the avoidance of forms that may cause embarrassment to guests.—New York Ledger, 1894


Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Etiquette for Infanta Eulalia

New York society women now brushing up!
“Dorothy Q” fills her readers in on the efforts of the Gilded Age society women to brush up on rigid Spanish etiquette for an Infanta’s visit.

The Spanish Royal’s Visit was Supposed to be Incognito 


The ball that the society women of New York are contemplating giving in honor of the Infanta Eulalia, is just now under animated discussion. The etiquette that “doth hedge” a royal representative of Spain, is appallingly rigid, and as no one in the exclusive set of New York wishes to commit a breach of propriety, more studying is being done of pedigree and Court etiquette than ever before in the world of form and convention. 

As the Infanta is supposed to travel incognito, she could not accept the cordial invitation of Mrs. Hearst, who offered her mansion at Washington for the Infanta’s use while there, and also extended to the Infanta the freedom of the yacht, “Vamoose.” If the coterie of ladies who inspired the idea of giving this entertainment for the Infanta can carry out their plans, the ball will be a notable social event of Wednesday, May 17. —Dorothy Q., New York, May 8, 1893


Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia