Etiquette of Forks Resting in Spoons

 

A silent dining signal for the diner next to you using your utensils– From the back cover of the new book, “Yesteryear... More What Have We Here?” - A lovely formal setting for a five course meal (or possibly six course meal, if canapés and champagne are being served prior to seating one's guests), using fine china, crystal and sterling flatware in the Francis I pattern, from the beautiful collection of Lorrie Denning. Flatware is set for only four of the courses. The flatware for dessert, or any course requiring extra flatware, can be brought to the table with the course itself. The glasses set are for water, champagne, a red wine, a white wine, a port wine to go with the dessert and sherry. Sherry is traditionally served with the soup course.

Another Q&A with @Etiquipedia on Instagram 🤔

Hello, I have a question... I understand that the fork resting on the spoon is for oysters. My question is whether there is a specific spoon for that purpose, and if the spoon is there only to serve as a support for the fork and is removed along with the plate once the oysters are finished, or if it is used for the next course.

Etiquipedia’s Reply – There is an interesting history to explain this placement of the oyster fork. It confuses many people. The fork rests there only because when place settings were very wide, due to so many utensils for multi course meals, the fork could be confused as being part of the diner's setting to the right.

Originally, in the U.S., after forks became common place in the early 1800s, up to four or more forks could be found to the left of a place setting. At some point, by the Gilded Age, it was determined by those who were leaders in society, that no more than three forks should be to the left of a place setting. The first fork was then moved to the right of the place setting if there were 3 more forks at the place setting. That means that the first fork could then properly be at the left (if it is one of only 3 forks), at the right, or at right but turned and resting in the soup spoon.

That is the soup spoon. It is not an extra spoon. Its purpose is not to hold the fork, however, if it is there, one can turn a first fork inward and rest it in the spoon for the soup course, to let the person to the right know that it is not his or her fork.

So to answer your query, it is not an extra spoon. It has a purpose, it is just being utilized as a silent signal to those dining on the right hand side. – By Maura J. Graber, November, 2024 

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Proper Oyster Fork Placement

 … or Cocktail Fork Placement 

A Gilded Age, 6 course, formal place setting, set for oysters as the first course.

As “What Have We Here?” at 162 pages, is 4 times longer than “Reaching for the Right Fork,” I could not use every photograph I took for the book. It would be too long. I will therefore be occasionally adding some of the photos which were ultimately unused to my blog posts. 

Here is one photo above, showing a Gilded Age formal place setting, set for a first course of oysters. Oyster forks, or any cocktail forks, can be properly placed in 3 different ways:

1. As the first of 3 forks to the left of a setting.
2. At the far right of a place setting, laying flat on the table next to the soup spoon or first knife, whichever utensil to be used afterward.
3. Or resting at an angle, with the small tines resting in the bowl of the soup spoon. 

In the setting above, the oyster fork rests at an angle in the soup spoon, or the 3rd option. This positioning was to help those dining at crowded Gilded Age tables deal with an ever-growing list of specialty utensils at each place setting. The fork on the far left of one setting could be mistaken for the first fork expected for many foods for the diner on the right. 

At the same time, the decision had just recently been made by the arbiters of good taste during that time period in the U.S., to no longer allow four forks on the left, but to limit them to three. Those not up to snuff on the most recent etiquette rules, whether hosting a dinner or as a guest at one, could be confused. Laying it at an angle with the tines resting in one’s soup spoon bowl, alerted that guest that the fork belonged to him or her and not the place setting to the right.

This below is a page from the book, “What Have We Here?”: The Etiquette and Essentials of Lives Once Lived, from the Georgian Era through the Gilded Age and Beyond...

Contributor Maura Graber has been teaching etiquette to children, teens and adults, and training new etiquette instructors, for over 30 years now, as founder and director of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette.  She is also a writer, has been featured in countless newspapers, magazines and television shows and was an on-air contributor to PBS in Southern California for 15 years. Her books, “Reaching for the Right Fork” and “What Have We Here?” are both available on Amazon

 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia