The Etiquette of Girls’ Hair Bows

But what about a giant bow on a girl’s hat? Does this send a signal of some sort??

“Girl’s Hairdo Reveals Love Life” 

Really?

As silly as the notion of romantic signals using fans was– not to mention handkerchiefs, parasols and even walking sticks– in the mid-1940’s someone came up with this handy guide for what a young woman’s hairdo signaled regarding her romantic intentions. 

One has to wonder if Ann, Betty, Becky and the other Betty, actually tried this system out to alert others as to whether they were “on the make” or not. Either way, Etiquipedia has found no evidence to back up the validity of this secret code using hair bows, but we do think it’s wonderfully creative.

Bow on the top of her head means that Ann Mitchell is “out to get herself a man.”

Bow worn in back means that Betty Dupree is “not interested in men.”

  

Bow worn on the right side indicates that Becky Brown is deeply in love.

Bow worn at left is a signal and challenge. It means Betty Chaney is “going steady.” — Life Magazine, 1944

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

The Etiquette of Changing Fashions

The new freedoms of women after World War I brought the “flappers” and their shorter hemlines, bare legs, and bare-backed dresses. These styles brought new problems in etiquette... “Several nights ago a dozen barelegged and bare-backed women surprised an exclusive west-end restaurant by appearing on the dance floor. Customers who remembered the Victorian days gasped and several of them hurriedly left ... Complaints were dispatched!”

Half Dressed Women Annoy London Police 

(By United Press) LONDON, July, 27 — The Lord Chamberlain's office was given a new problem in etiquette today, involving the appearance of women dancers without stockings. Several nights ago a dozen barelegged and bare-backed women surprised an exclusive west-end restaurant by appearing on the dance floor. Customers who remembered the Victorian days gasped and several of them hurriedly left the place. Complaints were dispatched to the Lord Chamberlain's office in an effort to force a decision on whether bare-legged women could dance in cabarets. The bare-leg fad has gained popularity among office women, tennis players and suburban shop girls. — 1931

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and the Papal Wardrobe

Heavenly Bodies — Fashion and the Catholic Imagination... Cardinal Gianfranco Ravasi, president of the Pontifical Council, had been wanting for some time for the dicastery to focus on the relationship between fashion, art and faith, and agreed to collaborate with an exhibition at the Metropolitan Museum of Art because of the Met’s significance to culture and the potential global outreach, but officials were unaware of the widely criticized gala that took place last Monday night. “We wanted to be involved and those behind it had good intentions,” a Vatican official told the Register. The Met Gala “crossed a line and was openly, brazenly disrespectful,” wrote Piers Morgan, Catholic talk show host. Pop singer Rihanna dressed up as a provocative, sequinned pope and actress Jennifer Lopez wore a jewel-encrusted multi-coloured cross. The Met Gala is the annual curtain-raising event for its Summer exhibit. The Vatican has loaned 40 priceless items which serve as the “cornerstone” of the display, including “papal robes and accessories from the Sistine Chapel sacristy, many of which have never been seen outside the Vatican.”  – National Catholic Register Blogger Edward Pentin

A Wonderful Wardrobe

“The most costly wardrobe in the world is to be found at Rome, and belongs to the Pope,” says M. A. P. Each day etiquette compels him to wear different garments, and as nearly all of them are ornamented with rich and rare gems, no millionaire could hope to purchase them, even if a value could be placed on them. The Pope's little skull caps are of the finest and most beautiful of silk, while his slippers of embroidered velvet are gorgeous to look at, being works of art. His gloves, made of white wool, are still more costly, embroidered as they are, with fine pearls in the shape of a cross. A special flock of fifty sheep are kept, from which all the Papal woolen garments are manufactured. The surplices are of the most valuable and beautiful lace, while one long cape, the cappa magna, which is rarely worn, hangs straight from the shoulders, and literally gleams from top to bottom with gold and precious stones. The rings, too, which the Pope wears are priceless, containing, as they do, many stones of matchless quality. – Los Angeles Herald, 1910

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Casual Attire

Style icons earn their status by using a bit of careful consideration and forethought when buying their clothes, (regardless of price) and by dressing appropriately for an occasion. Looking well groomed and stylish does not require a lot of money. In many cases, it merely requires common sense.

‘Casual Look’ Goes Too Far

“Her dresses always looked as though they had been designed in a rage and put on in a tempest... she tried to look picturesque but only succeeded in being untidy... like a bird of paradise that had been out all night in the rain.” Those words were written in 1890-91 by Oscar Wilde in "The Picture of Dorian Gray.” They could just as well be a commentary today on the way so many women are dressing. That “casual” look in clothes, in other words, has gone just too far it’s time for a return to some sanity, some semblance of elegance, clothes to make men’s eyes turn in admiration instead of astonishment. My suggestion is that we start spring by dressing up again. Why not begin with Easter Sunday?

Remember when it meant a special new bonnet, something to inspire an Irving Berlin song? Remember when you looked forward to the special new outfit to be worn on that day and when you’d not dream of going to church without hat and gloves? What changed it all? You could blame, or credit, everything from a general letdown in our requirements for etiquette, to rebellion against the “older generation” standards, to a new lifestyle that simply left no time for daily grooming requirements, such as washing white gloves and shining one’s shoes. You can say it all happened because we no longer had our fashion image makers constantly before us. White-gloved Princess Grace went off to royal duties and bringing up a family in Monaco. The Duchess of Windsor, a supreme example of elegance, went almost into seclusion after the death of the Duke, Britain’s former King.

Even Jacqueline Kennedy changed. When she was First Lady, Women’s Wear Daily gave her another title—“Her Elegance.” Then, women copied everything from the now Mrs. Aristotle Onassis pillbox hats, to her smart, lower-heeled shoes, and admired or envied her regal look when she entertained heads of state. Now, more often than not, we catch pictures of Mrs. Onassis windblown, wearing the eternal dark glasses, in pants and “poor boy” pullover tops. (Or, in the case of one Italian magazine’s claim, in the altogether). Somewhere we traded in neatness for carelessness and I think acceptance of pants everywhere —office, shopping, even the most elegant restaurants —helped pull down the barriers. 

I’m not anti-pantsuits so much as pro-skirts. Trousers have a definite place on the modern scene and I confess that I'm wearing them even as I write this at the office. But often, there is some feminine rebellion that says, “Put on a dress today,” and immediately I feel more like a woman. I take no strong stand one way or another on hats. They go handsomely with some faces, terribly with others. Apparently, the young are helping to bring them back, for the millinery industry reports a thriving business this spring. One of my earliest childhood memories, however, is of my mother in a new hat —an Easter one of pale gray straw, its wide “picture” brim covered with big flowers in assorted pinks, the whole thing a frame for her blonde Gibson Girl hair style. – By Gay Pauley, UPI Women’s Editor, New York, 1973

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Seasonal Standards

The Prime Minister of Great Britain, who had been unilaterally escalating formality by wearing hats all summer, shows up dressed in silk with pearls and high heels. She is quoted as having refused to participate in “a lowering of standards.”– Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners 

When temperatures go up, fashion decorum goes out the window...

Now that “White Shoe Season” is closing (after today, offenders should expect no mercy), let us review the fashion lessons of this past summer. This year's two big fashion stories are, in Miss Manners’ authoritative opinion: 

A. The Prime Minister of Canada suggests that heads of government attending the 14th economic summit conference in Toronto dress casually.

The Prime Minister of Great Britain, who had been unilaterally escalating formality by wearing hats all summer, shows up dressed in silk with pearls and high heels. She is quoted as having refused to participate in “a lowering of standards.” 

The Prime Minister of Canada wears a suit. 

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B. A Washington messenger is barred from entering the Department of Justice while wearing a T-shirt referring to the then-Chief Executive of that establishment as a pig. He responds by:

1. Unsuccessfully arguing the right of free speech. 

2. Unsuccessfully offering to remove the T-shirt in return for access to the building, presumably shirtless. 

3. Successfully arranging to have an acceptably dressed replacement sent from the messenger service in time to deliver the goods as promised.

4. Delivering his problem to the American Civil Liberties Union, which successfully argues his right of free speech. The Department of Justice, charged with demonstrating that it “obviously doesn't understand what the First Amendment is all about,” reverses its ruling after talk of the ACLU's filing a lawsuit. 

Now, what do these two stories teach us? Quite a bit about politics, notably that it makes an awful lot of difference who is doing the talking. Also that anyone hoping to maintain a higher standard than the society generally recognizes has to be prepared to lend practical assistance. If the Department of Justice, like certain restaurants and clubs, kept articles of “proper attire” on hand to lend those whom it deemed improperly dressed, solution 2. might have worked, and there might not have been a need to escalate to 4. The etiquette angle of all this is, naturally, more subtle. 

High symbolism, and some of the low kind as well, is involved. Social symbolism is not something in which modern people are skilled, and summer heat seems to rob them of any dexterity they might have. Each year, a number of otherwise relatively civilized gentlemen can be counted upon to raise a battle cry against the tyranny of the necktie. The more adventurous even suggest a fullscale clothing revolution, so that each man can express his true self. Miss Manners hopes sensible people can see the fallacy here. Clothing does express individual taste, but only within the context of the community. One's identity involves not only the contents of the particular heart or mind, but the age, gender, era, nationality and particular activity in which one happens to be engaged. To choose clothing that violates those requirements is to broadcast that one is in conflict with them. 

When the British Prime Minister refused to don clothes appropriate to relaxation, she was refusing to pretend that the economic summit was an informal gathering of friends, rather than serious international business. Miss Manner is less ready to cheer on the messenger. Since T-shirts proclaim the wearer’s presumed sentiment, it seems reasonable to hold the wearer as accountable for them as if he were uttering the statements publicly aloud. In most situations, that would merely mean that the bearer should be prepared for counter-attacks by people expressing the right of free speech. The confinement of a necktie is nowhere near as risky in summertime as is offering one’s innermost views to the chance reactions of strangers. – Miss Manners, September 4, 1988

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette of a King’s Wardrobe

What keeps the Royal valets busy (and the King always takes a couple with him,—like Count D'Orsay) is the constantly growing stock of official clothes, because Albert Edward is a stickler for etiquette. If he goes to an army ceremony, he wears the uniform of the Field Marshal, and he attends naval affairs dressed as an Admiral of the Fleet.

King Edward's Wardrobe

Much nonsense is customarily talked and written about the King's clothes. But with every deduction made for the imagination of talkers and writers, the fact remains that Edward VII travels with a good deal of baggage “whene’er” (as the Isaac Watts hymn puts it) “he takes his walks abroad.” The King is a man of sense in regard to dress, whatever he may be in any other respect; but I do not think he carries about, or wears more ordinary clothes, than any other gentleman of high position. 

What keeps the Royal valets busy (and the King always takes a couple with him,—like Count D'Orsay) is the constantly growing stock of official clothes,  because Albert Edward is a stickler for etiquette. If he goes to an army ceremony, he wears the uniform of the Field Marshal, and he attends naval affairs dressed as an Admiral of the Fleet. Similarly, when he went to Kiel the other day to visit his nephew (whom the irreverant call William the Bumptious and the punctilious Kaiser Wilhelm) he took along, not only a sufficiency of yachting suits and flannels—though the King hates flannel—but also a full rig out for every German and Prussian regiment of which he is an honorary officer; and conforming to the ridiculous and meaningless custom of European courts he is in that position with regard to a good many. 

And, of course, there were jacket suits of various weights, because the King loves a lounge suit, and though being what he is, he may not know the luxury of an old, shabby suit, he gets as near it as he dare. The King, though a well-dressed man and a man (as I said before) of some, though not of, exquisite taste (his son, the Prince of  Wales, is neither) is not a dandy and never was a dandy.—The Haberdasher, 1904

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

More Etiquette and Marie Antoinette

On fashion – It's “a desire to assert quality with the others, to show them that one is able to have the things they have. Then, too, imitation maybe prompted by a reverence for the person or persons imitated.”

“Of course, fashion is largely imitative. There are two distinct reasons for imitation in matters of dress. The first is a desire to be like everyone else, to avoid being thought strange or queer by one's fellows. The second is a desire to assert quality with the others, to show them that one is able to have the things they have. Then, too, imitation maybe prompted by a reference for the person or persons imitated.

“A story is told of the Duke Philip of Burgundy who, in 1461, suffered a severe illness during which his hair was completely shorn. More than five hundred nobles of the time sacrificed their hair that the Duke might not feel conspicuous. What was the necessity with the Duke became a fashion among the nobles.

“We are told that in 1775, the Queen, Marie Antoinette of France, adopted a chestnut brown colour for her gown. This color pleased the King and it is written that every lady in court had on a dress of that colour the following day. There has always been quick aping of the clothes and manners of the favourites.”          

Marie Antoinette's image graces a square handkerchief– There has always been quick aping of the clothes and manners of the favourites.

“Many fashions were created by law. There is, for instance, a distinct order for edict concerning the shape of pocket handkerchiefs. It is dated June 2, 1785, and was issued by Louis XVI, supposedly at the request of Marie Antoinette. Up to her time, it would appear, handkerchiefs had been of all sizes and shapes. Some had been oblong, some around, some triangular, some square. The Queen believed that if the square form only were used the handkerchief would be very much more convenient. Consequently it was decreed, that, "The length of handkerchief shall equal their width, throughout my entire kingdom." Handkerchiefs have remained square since that day, and what the edict in 1785 made the fashion then, is still the fashion with us.” —From Lillian Eichler's, “The Customs of Mankind”

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of White After Labor Day

Tres chic? Or Tres yuck? Coco Chanel's suit is very chic, however the cigarette hanging out of her mouth... words fail us at Etiquipedia.  French fashion designer Coco Chanel in one of her signature white suits that she wore year 'round.

Just Why Can't We Wear White After Labor Day? 

The post–Labor Day moratorium on white clothing and accessories has long ranked among etiquette hard-liners' most sacred rules. As punishment for breaking it in the 1994 movie Serial Mom, for instance, Patty Hearst's character was murdered by a punctilious psychopath. But ask your average etiquette expert how that rule came to be, and chances are that even she couldn't explain it. So why aren't we supposed to wear white after Labor Day?

Mary, Queen of Scots in white mourning attire. The entire rhythm of dress etiquette and conventions could be disturbed by deaths, which did not bother to obey the dictates of any calendar or seasons. The color of deepest mourning among medieval European queens was white. This royal tradition survived in Spain until the end of the 15th century. It was revived by the Spanish-born Queen Fabiola for the funeral of her husband, King Baudouin I of Belgium, in 1993. And in 2004, the four daughters of Queen Juliana of the Netherlands all wore white to mourn their mother's death at her funeral. 

One common explanation is practical. For centuries, wearing white in the summer was simply a way to stay cool — like changing your dinner menu or putting slipcovers on the furniture. "Not only was there no air-conditioning, but people did not go around in T shirts and halter tops. They wore what we would now consider fairly formal clothes," said Judith Martin, better known as etiquette columnist Miss Manners. "And white is of a lighter weight."

But beating the heat became fashionable in the early to mid-20th century, according to Charlie Scheips, author of American Fashion. "All the magazines and tastemakers were centered in big cities, usually in northern climates that had seasons," he notes. In the hot summer months, white clothing kept New York fashion editors cool. But facing, say, heavy fall rain, they might not have been inclined to risk sullying white ensembles with mud — and that sensibility was reflected in the glossy pages of Harper's Bazaar and Vogue, which set the tone for the country.

White is the customary color for mourning in many religions and cultures, like Hinduism and Buddhism. This photo from 1914, shows Gandhi wearing white, to mourn the deaths of Indian strikers killed in police firing.

This is all sound logic, to be sure — but that's exactly why it may be wrong. "Very rarely is there actually a functional reason for a fashion rule," noted Valerie Steele, director of the Museum at the Fashion Institute of Technology. True enough: it's hard to think of a workaday downside to pairing your black shoes with a brown belt.

Instead, other historians speculate, the origin of the no-white-after–Labor Day rule may be symbolic. In the early 20th century, white was the uniform of choice for Americans well-to-do enough to decamp from their city digs to warmer climes for months at a time: light summer clothing provided a pleasing contrast to drabber urban life. "If you look at any photograph of any city in America in the 1930s, you'll see people in dark clothes," says Scheips, many scurrying to their jobs. By contrast, he adds, the white linen suits and Panama hats at snooty resorts were "a look of leisure."

"And every day of his life he put on a clean shirt and a full suit from head to toe made out of linen so white it hurt your eyes to look at it."— from Huckleberry Finn about the aristocratic Colonel Grangerford. Although written by Mark Twain in 1880, it would be another 26 years for Twain to adopt the white linen suit look himself. By the 1930s, it was the must have outfit for men of leisure, who could leave the winter's cold and pop down to Palm Beach for warmer weather. Whites during the Autumn and Winter months were for the wealthy, leisure class.

Labor Day, celebrated in the U.S. on the first Monday of September, marked the traditional end of summer; the well-heeled vacationers would stow their summer duds and dust off their heavier, darker-colored fall clothing. "There used to be a much clearer sense of re-entry," says Steele. "You're back in the city, back at school, back doing whatever you're doing in the fall — and so you have a new wardrobe."

By the 1950s, as the middle class expanded, the custom had calcified into a hard-and-fast rule. Along with a slew of commands about salad plates and fish forks, the no-whites dictum provided old-money élites with a bulwark against the upwardly mobile. But such mores were propagated by aspirants too: those savvy enough to learn all the rules increased their odds of earning a ticket into polite society. "It [was] insiders trying to keep other people out," says Steele, "and outsiders trying to climb in by proving they know the rules."

Some etiquette buffs don't buy this explanation, however. "There are always people who want to attribute everything in etiquette to snobbery," protests Martin. "There were many little rules that people did dream up in order to annoy those from whom they wished to disassociate themselves. But I do not believe this is one of them."

Light colors, like white, were more suited to warm weather and those who had a lot of money to pay to keep the clothing clean. More people in the Midwest and Northern U.S. simply follow the "no white after Labor Day" rule, due to the practicality of keeping clothing clean from rain and mud, etc... Even the late Princess Margaret, upon a visit to Texas in the mid-1980s, made the evening news for wearing white shoes at the wrong time of year. Buckingham Palace quickly issued a press release, stating that Princess Margaret had done no wrong, as there are no such fashion rules in Great Britain that regulate when to wear white.

Whatever its origin, the Labor Day rule has perennially met with resistance from high-fashion quarters. As far back as the 1920s, Coco Chanel made white a year-round staple. "It was a permanent part of her wardrobe," says Bronwyn Cosgrave, author of The Complete History of Costume & Fashion: From Ancient Egypt to the Present Day.  The trend is embraced with equal vigor by many of today's fashion élites. Cosgrave notes that Marion Cotillard accepted her 2008 Academy Award in a mermaid-inspired cream dress. Fashion rules are meant to be broken by those who can pull it off, notes Cosgrave, and white "looks really fresh when people aren't expecting it."

Much to the chagrin of sartorial purists, that skepticism of the Labor Day law has seeped into mainstream America. From 1960s counterculture to the present day — when would-be fashionistas get as many ideas from blogs and friends as from magazines and Fashion Week — more people than ever are breaking the rule. Even Emily Post's Etiquette, 17th Edition, gave the go-ahead for wearing white after Labor Day. Which may explain why some who abide by the custom themselves are now willing to compromise. 

Scheips, for one, "would never be caught dead wearing a white suit after Labor Day." But neither does he completely write off those who do. "I'm sure the Queen of England at Christmastime puts on white ermine once in a while. So if it's good enough for her, it's good enough for everybody else, right?" he says. "You don't have to be a fascist about it."

Much of this article is from TIME Magazine, September 2009

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia