Changes to Official Etiquette in Capital

 … a new law of etiquette lately decreed by Mrs. Gov. Stanford, with the concurrence of the wives of various officials of that city. It is that Mrs. Stanford will expect the first call from ladies visiting Sacramento. This law has become a matter of necessity. – Public domain image of Mrs. Leland (Jane) Stanford, wife of Governor Leland Stanford, 8th governor of California. The Stanfords founded Stanford University in California.

A new Point of Official Etiquette

Made necessary during the American Civil War

Ladies will be interested to understand a new law of etiquette lately decreed by Mrs. Gov. Stanford, with the concurrence of the wives of various officials of that city. It is that Mrs. Stanford will expect the first call from ladies visiting Sacramento. This law has become a matter of necessity. 

Many wives of the members of the Legislature come to the Capital to spend a few days, and the Governor’s wife would like to call upon them, but she does not know when they are in the city, or where they stop; and thus she is subject to the suspicion of intending a slight, when really she is anxious to treat all respectable people with respect and to contribute as much as possible to the pleasure of ladies visiting her town.

By giving notice that she expects the first call, she protects herself from the suspicion of offense, and enables ladies, whom she would never see under any other method, to call and make her acquaintance. This rule is new in Sacramento, but it is well established in other places of authority.

At Washington, the President’s wife, the wives of Cabinet officers, of Senators and Congressmen expect the first call in order of their rank, which is carried so far that a Senator’s daughter must make the first call on a Senator’s wife, and a Senator’s unmarried daughter must make the first call on a Senator’s married daughter and so forth, without regard to priority of arrival in the city. – The Times Gazette, March 1863

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Evolution of American Etiquette

The early struggle for existence was a great leveler of castes and classes, and everyone worked together for the general good.

During the early colonization (in America) etiquette was negligible, of course. The early struggle for existence was a great leveler of castes and classes, and everyone worked together for the general good. There was a wholesome simplicity, an inspiring generosity, a kindliness and thoughtfulness toward one another.

Before the colonies declared their independence there was an influx of French and other foreign ideas. From France, Italy, Holland, England emanated much that we ourselves are. After the Revolution, peculiarly enough, the social ideas and ideals of the United States were distinctly English. The Colonial style was the English style; the young nation could break away from the power of the older nation, but not from the influence of its manners and customs.

Washington set the pace for diplomatic simplicity in the United States, although there was a certain courtliness. A contemporary of France, visiting the young nation, reports of Washington: "He was as gracious as a king."

During the first hundred years of its existence, United States was the forcing house for the customs, whims, fantasies, fashions of all the world. We imported are customs with her clothes and food-stuffs, although we pride ourselves upon being absolutely free from the Old-World influence.

The Southern colonies, before the Civil War, however, had a certain style and chivalry all their own. There was a careful regard for dress and for table service. The simplest dinner was served faultlessly. Gallants were ready to draw their swords at a moment's notice to protect (or amuse) the ladies of their fancy. All of this chivalry and extreme etiquette appears to have gone out when slavery went out.

The Northern colonists, the New Englanders, were of sterner stuff – truer English than their Southern cousins. Braving the rigors of the northern climate, the Puritans determined to live up to their ideals of independence, simplicity, and freedom. – From Lillian Eichler's, “The Customs of Mankind”

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia