Etiquette and Condolences

After Otto von Bismarck's death, the task of opening telegrams and attending to those which, according to etiquette, needed to receive immediate answers, continued from morning until night.

Even when in mourning, the etiquette regarding the condolences from potentates and statesmen in every part of the world, must be followed.

FRIEDRICHSRUHE, Aug. 2.— Prince Bismarck's coffin was closed down yesterday between 7 and 8 o'clock in the presence of the Imperial Chancellor, who left Friedrichsruhe immediately afterward. It was originally intended that the consecration einsegnung, as the Germans call the funeral service, should take place this morning, but it was deferred until 6 in the evening out of deference to the Emperor, who expressed a wish to be present and could not arrive before. 

The whole family, headed by Prince Herbert, assembled in the small, bare death chamber this morning and partook of the Holy Sacrament. The black coffin, of unusually large dimensions, with eight massive silver-plated handles, rested on trestles and occupied exactly the same spot as that on which stood the bed on which the Prince died, the head of the coffin, as was pointed out to me, being almost within touch of the bell rope which the Prince used when summoning his attendants. 

The task of opening telegrams and attending to those which, according to etiquette, must receive immediate answer, still continues from morning until night and keeps Count Rantzau, Count Wilhelm and Prince Herbert continually occupied. I noticed on the table one layer of opened telegrams about a foot high from every Prussian Prince and Princess and almost all the German federal sovereigns. Emperor Francis Joseph, the King and Queen of Italy, the English and Russian courts and over 100 European statesman also telegraphed condolences. — New York Herald, 1898

Do letters of condolence need to be acknowledged?

If you receive commercial sympathy cards simply signed with a name, no. Otherwise, generally yes. Most funeral establishments or crematoria furnish notecard-size thank-you notes...

 Time-honored rituals of death ease us through the unthinkable. Much of what we do during these times is almost rote. Everyone knows how difficult a death is. No, these notes are not original or memorable. They simply serve the purpose of letting the recipient know that you received and appreciated their card. Again, if anyone stands out particularly, make a note to write them later, when you can.

When should acknowledgements be sent out?

Nobody will expect you to do this for some time, so don’t worry if you can’t get yourself to your writing place for weeks or months, but some people deserve a personal reply. — From ModernLoss.com

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Diplomat Broke Belgian Etiquette

Woodcut of Li Huang Chang (or Li Hongzhang) with Otto von Bismarck in 1896 ~
Li Hongzhang was a Chinese politician, general and diplomat of the late Qing dynasty. Quelling several major rebellions and serving in important positions in the Qing Imperial court, he was also the Viceroy of Zhili Province.

Li Hung Chang has earned the thanks of all inveterate smokers. He has broken down the rule of the Belgian Court etiquette, which strictly forbids smoking in the State apartments, by the simple process of taking out a long pipe, and, after it had been filled by his secretary, smoking it. 

King Leopold, though, we doubt not, a good deal astonished, rose to the occasion admirably. He at once caused cigarettes to be handed round, with the result that Li Hung Chang soon found his position no longer one of "splendid isolation." — San Francisco Call, 1896

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette of France's Imperial Court

Napoleon III — In 1866, Napoleon had to face mounting Prussian power, as Chancellor Otto von Bismarck, under Prussian leadership, sought German unification. In July 1870, with no allies and with inferior military forces, Napoleon entered the Franco-Prussian War. The French army was quickly defeated. Napoleon III was captured at the Battle of Sedan,  and the French Third Republic was proclaimed in Paris. Napoleon went into exile in England. He died there in 1873.

Letter from Paris

(From Our Resident Correspondent)

Paris — January 23, 1866

The French are a very elastic people. They lean to and accept any form of government that is offered to them with the greatest complacency. A few years back they had a Republic, in all its simplicity, and now they have an Empire, to which they appear to be perfectly devoted: at least, all exigencies are observed, if not relished by them.

The first places at the Imperial Court are solicited by the oldest nobility; and inferior, and even high stations, are filled by those who were once staunch Republicans. There are no less than eleven Chambellans in full activity, and seventeen honorary ones, aspiring to become regular officials many of which are occupied by the first names of the Faubourg St. Germain, the old aristocratic quarter of Paris.

To have an audience of His Majesty is a work of tact and time. It is generally of a Sunday that audiences are granted to those who solicit them, and the ceremony is performed with all due state decorum and etiquette, and you are ushered into the Imperial presence by silver chained ushers, (Huissiers) after having first been handed over to the Grand Chambellan, who at the present moment bears an Imperial name, that of Bassano, who is Duke and Senator. Such is the Imperial Franco risen out of the Republic of as short-lived a notoriety. —The Daily Alta California, 1866

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Diplomacy in Berlin

Aaron Sargent, was the the U.S. minister to Germany from May 1882 to June 1884. A political appointee as the Head of the U.S. Legation at Berlin, Sargent had a reputation as being loud-mouthed and disrespectful toward Otto von Bismarck, (the conservative Prussian statesman dominating German and European affairs from the late 1860's to 1890.) He also conferred openly with Bismarck’s liberal opponents who favored free trade, threatening retaliation for Germany’s prohibition of meat imports from America. When Eduard Lasker died in early 1884, the U.S. House of Representatives passed a provocative resolution mourning the death of the leader of the German Liberals. Sargent then delivered the resolution to the German government. But Bismarck declared that Sargent’s continued presence was an insult to Germany, adamantly refusing to accept the resolution. Sargent subsequently resigned and was replaced by a much more tactful diplomat, John Kasson.

A silly story is telegraphed that the German Court is now discussing the question whether Minister Sargent ought to be invited to the Emperor's birthday reception, coupled with the prediction that if he attends, "he will certainly be personally affronted." It is safe to assert that the etiquette of the Court of Berlin does not permit it to invite anybody — least of all a foreign minister— to a reception for the express purpose of insulting him. — Daily Alta California, 1884

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette, Bismarck and Victoria

Victoria, Princess Royal, German Empress, Queen of Prussia,  detested Prussia's emphasis on its army. This was to be expected, however, considering her British upbringing. “Vicky,”  as she was known, hoped to influence Prussia away from the tradition of “Warrior Kings” in favor of "a new line of enlightened executives." Though supported by her husband, she was bound to clash with Bismarck's rising force. The Chancellor Otto von Bismarck's most important legacy is the unification of Germany. Germany had existed as a collection of hundreds of separate principalities and Free Cities since the formation of the Holy Roman Empire. Over the centuries various rulers had tried to unify the German states without success until Bismarck. Resulting largely from his efforts, the varying German kingdoms united into a single country. Bismarck's psychology and personal traits have not been so favorably received over time, and historian Jonathan Steinberg portrays a demonic genius who was deeply vengeful, even toward his closest friends and family members. 

Bismarck and the Crown Princess Victoria

London, November 25th— Court circles in Berlin are discussing the reconciliation which has just been effected between Crown Princess Victoria and Prince Bismarck. Their hostility had been of many years' duration, and was known to all the world, although it was thinly veiled by court ceremony. Many reasons have been assigned for it, but its real origin was the utter incompatibility of the Chancellor and the Princess. 

Prince Bismarck scorns and condemns the little niceties of polite society, and estimates women only as a factor in the problem of the continuance of the German nation. The Crown Princess had her education in a court and country where women arc treated with much deference, and where the canons of etiquette cannot be violated without serious consequences. The Princess has been, next to the aged Empress, the first lady in Germany, and refused to submit to what she termed Bismarck's boorishness. The result was warfare, sometimes open, sometime covert, as the necessities of court life required. 

Now there has been a reconciliation, and the question is; Which power conquered? The story most current in Berlin is as follows ... The Crown Princess, powerful as she is now, will be still more so when she becomes Empress of Germany. This must happen soon, and may happen at any time. 

The Chancellor is cultivating the friendliest relations with the Crown Prince, who may soon be Emperor, and has fouud it also desirable to propitiate the Crown Princess. He has, therefore, instituted certain reforms in his household and in his manners which makes his personality less disagreeable to her Imperial Highness. — Sacramento Daily Union, 1884

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia