Online Etiquette and Security for Teens

It's best not to go online if you are really upset about something. Venting your anger or crushed feelings online can make you a target by others who are not so polite.

Etiquette and cyber security topics that parents should discuss with, and teach their teens:

Refraining from revealing personal information; where they go to school, where they live, revealing  pictures of themselves. Teens need to know that they are not being rude by not answering personal questions from complete strangers, or even people whom they've only met online and consider their "friends."   

It is okay for them to give responses such as, "I'm sorry, but I don't feel comfortable giving out personal information online." To be rude, would be to respond to personal questions with something like, "That is none of your business." 

Advising them not to give their passwords to friends. A friend today can be a 'frenemy' tomorrow, who now has access to your teen’s account. He or she may pose as your teen and post very hurtful comments for the other friends to read. 

Staying kind to others! It may look like just a screen in front of you, but there's another person on the receiving end. Cyber civility is just the same as face to face civility. If I can’t say that to your face, then I shouldn’t post it either. Those mean comments may be construed as bullying to others 

Discouraging secrecy… remind your teens that social media is very public. They have no control over who actually reads their posts.

Teach them not to hand someone their smartphone to see a photo.  Teach them to hold the phone to allow others to look at it, otherwise the photo can accidently be deleted, or worse, it could purposely be done. If someone hands you their phone to look at a picture, don't scroll through the rest of them. They are none of your business.       

Remind your teens that social media is very public. They have no control over who actually reads their posts. 

Using different usernames and passwords. Many teens use the same username and password for all of their sites. It's not a good idea. If someone figures out your security information, they'll have access to everything on your computer. Set-up different usernames and passwords for maximum protection. 

Encouraging your teens to know their school policy surrounding the use of the computer. Teach them what plagiarism really is. If a university student uses someone else’s ideas as their own even if it’s repackaged, this is stealing and most post-secondary institutions take a very dim of this. Ignorance is not a defense. This goes on their record.

Finally, try to make a plan with your teen to unplug from the gadgets at least one day during the week. Everyone (including Moms and Dads) need to find fun, interesting ways to reconnect again as human beings. Include other families in some of your expeditions so more people can benefit together.

Internet Safety, Teens and Civility

In 2012, McAfee released a survey in the outlining the results of teens and their online behavior The shocking statistic is that 70% of those responded admitted to hiding their online behavior from their parents. This was up from 45% in 2010 when the same survey was conducted. Why the huge jump in figures? According to McAfee spokesman, Robert Siciliano, the two main reasons are the sheer explosion of social media and ad-sponsored pornography that is available. Plus, with smartphones, teens have full access to Internet wherever they are without the parental controls found on their computer at home. 

Some of the tactics used to hide behaviour included:

• Clearing their browser history.

• Closing or minimizing browser windows when parents walked into the room.

• Hiding or deleting instant messages or videos.

• Using another computer in the home that wasn’t screened.

 A large number of parents mentioned trusting their children not to visit inappropriate sites. A quarter of the parents responded said there were no controls at home because of feeling overwhelmed by the technology. However, for the safety of their children online, parents need to become more savvy with these new gadgets & social media.

On a positive note, over 75% of the parents polled do have these conversations with their children. Almost half said that they were using parental controls. Despite the fact that these are American statistics, the numbers probably aren’t that different in Canada either. 

Parents shouldn’t be afraid to be assertive on this issue. These sites are huge time wasters and create an unnatural world for their teens. It increases their lack of empathy and lack of ability to communicate effectively. Ultimately, friendships may be badly affected by posts that hurt. These will all contribute to preventing them from maturing well into adulthood.  

While teens may be more savvy around the Internet than their parents, the bottom line is that they lack the experience and judgement to make wise choices.

The nation-wide survey included 1,004 13-17 year old teens and 1,013 parents conducted from May 4 – 29, 2012 with a margin or error plus or minus 3 percent.

Don't believe everything you read online.

Netiquette tips from teen Katie Diaz: Where would teens be without the use of a computer or smartphone these days? I hate to think about that! We need them for school, socializing, blogging, watching videos, etc... Of course, there must be etiquette rules for them.  These rules are called “Netiquette.”  

Respect for others is the key to politeness, and here are some rules for you and the keyboard:

1. Don't believe everything you read online. 
2. Never use someone else’s computer without permission or read someone else's e-mail without permission. 
3. Never give out information about others while on-line without their permission and never gossip or spread rumors. 
4. If a friend asks for another friend’s e-mail address, tell your friend that you need to check the address first.  Get permission from the second friend and make sure the address is accurate before giving it out. 
5. Never change someone’s files around or snoop in other people’s files if you are using someone else's computer or phone. 
6. When chatting, tweeting, texting, or IM'ing from someone else’s computer, be honest about who you are.  You would want honesty from others, right? 

By Canadian Contributor Maria Doll ~ An etiquette coach, Maria has been conducting personal consultations, workshops, camps and seminars for children, teens and young  
adults since 2009.  Her etiquette program and company Leadership Matters has been featured in print, radio & television media. 



Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Internet Etiquette and E-Diplomacy

How Languages of Peace Evolve

Online, English has become a common language for users from around the world. In the process, the language itself is changing.

When America emerged from the ashes of a bruising war with Britain in 1814, the nation was far from united. Noah Webster thought that a common language would bring people together and help create a new identity that would make the country truly independent of the British.

Webster's dictionary, now in its 11th edition, adopted the Americanised spellings familiar today - er instead of re in theatre, dropping the ‘u’ from colour, and losing the double ‘l’ from words such as traveller. It also documented new words that were uniquely American such as skunk, opossum, hickory, squash and chowder.

An American Dictionary of the English Language took 18 years to complete and Webster learned 26 other languages in order to research the etymology of its 70,000 entries. The internet is creating a similar language evolution, but at a much faster pace.

“E-diplomacy: Foreign policy in 140 characters ~ The diplomatic world is considered to be one of protocol and discretion, yet an increasing number of foreign policy officials and diplomats are conducting their business in the most public way possible, on Twitter.” –BBC News Magazine

Just like the rest of the world, diplomats tweet about their dinner... E-diplomacy certainly carries risks. Even experienced practitioners, like the Swedish foreign minister Carl Bildt, have run into trouble. Ahead of 2012's World Economic Forum in Davos, he drew criticism for what many thought was an insensitive missive:
“Leaving Stockholm and heading for Davos. Looking forward to World Food Program dinner tonight. Global hunger is an urgent issue! #davos.”
Hunger and a slap-up meal did not sit happily side by side. In the argot of the Twittersphere, the tweet was judged a #fail.–  BBC News Magazine

There are now thought to be some 4.5 billion web pages worldwide. And with half the population of China now on line, many of them are written in Chinese.  Still, some linguists predict that within 10 years English will dominate the internet - but in forms very different to what we accept and recognise as English today.

That's because people who speak English as a second language already outnumber native speakers. And increasingly they use it to communicate with other non-native speakers, particularly on the internet where less attention is paid to grammar and spelling and users don't have to worry about their accent.

British diplomats posted to India will first need to learn Hindi as 'Hinglish' – a blend of Hindi and English – becomes the country's most important language. The rise of Hinglish has frustrated British diplomats as it has become more widely used on India's English language television news channels and in the country's English press.The move comes as the unique nature of Indian English is celebrated in the hit Bollywood film English Vinglish, starring veteran actress Sri Devi, about an Indian middle-class housewife who decides to learn English because she is ridiculed by her husband and child who is ashamed to introduce her to her friends. While English is no longer the exclusive language of choice for India's business elites, it is still a badge of status and a passport to better jobs.

“The internet enfranchises people who are not native speakers to use English in significant and meaningful ways,” says Naomi Baron, professor of linguistics at American University in Washington D.C.

In 2012, just one in 40 British diplomats was fluent in the language of the country where they worked, with the majority lacking even basic grasp sufficient for day-to-day exchanges. In contrast, almost a half of Australia’s diplomatic service were proficient in the local languages where they worked.

Users of Facebook already socialise in a number of different “Englishes” including Indian English, or Hinglish, Spanglish (Spanish English) and Konglish (Korean English). While these variations have long existed within individual cultures, they're now expanding and comingling online.

“On the internet, all that matters is that people can communicate - nobody has a right to tell them what the language should be,” says Baron. “If you can talk Facebook into putting up pages, you have a language that has political and social standing even if it doesn't have much in the way of linguistic uniqueness.”

Some words are adaptations of traditional English: In Singlish, or Singaporean English, “blur” means “confused” or “slow”: “She came into the conversation late and was blur as a result.”  Others combine English words to make something new. In Konglish, “skinship” means intimate physical contact: handholding, touching, caressing.

Technology companies are tapping into the new English variations with products aimed at enabling users to add words that are not already in the English dictionary.  And most large companies have English websites, while smaller businesses are learning that they need a common language - English - to reach global customers.

“While most people don't speak English as their first language, there is a special commercial and social role for English driven by modern forms of entertainment,” says Robert Munro, a computational linguist and head of Idibon, a language technology company in California.

“The prevalence of English movies in regions where there is not much technology other than cell phones and DVDs makes English an aspirational language. People think it's the language of the digital age.”

In previous centuries, the convergence of cultures and trade led to the emergence of pidgin - a streamlined system of communication that has simple grammatical structure, says Michael Ullman, director of research at Georgetown University's Brain and Language Lab.

When the next generation of pidgin speakers begins to add vocabulary and grammar, it becomes a distinct Creole language. “You get different endings, it's more complex and systematised. Something like that could be happening to English on the web,” he says. Mobile phone companies are also updating their apps to reflect its growing use.

Hinglish is a blend of Hindi, Punjabi, Urdu and English and is so widespread that it's even being taught to British diplomats. "Most people actually speak multiple languages - it's less common to only speak one," says Mr Munro. "English has taken its place as the world's lingua franca, but it's not pushing out other languages."

In Hinglish, a co-brother is a brother-in-law; eve-teasing means sexual harassment; an emergency crew responding to a crisis might be described as ‘airdashing’, and somewhat confusing to football fans, a ‘stadium’ refers to a bald man with a fringe of hair. There's even a new concept of time - “pre-pone”, the opposite of postpone, meaning “to bring something forward”.

The increasing prevalence of the internet in everyday life means that language online is not a zero sum game. Instead, it allows multiple languages to flourish. “Most people actually speak multiple languages - it's less common to only speak one,” says Mr Munro. “English has taken its place as the world's lingua franca, but it's not pushing out other languages.” Instead, other languages are pushing their way into English, and in the process creating something new.

Sources, Telegraph News and BBC Magazine



🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia