Middle Eastern Manners for Marines

Moving some laid-back Southern California Marines to the Middle East in 1990, took some much needed cross-cultural training and a crash course in Middle Eastern manners. One Marine acknowledged after the 30-minute briefing that he and his buddies were a little put off about the limited prospects for enjoying free time in Saudi Arabia, if they’re destined to go there. “The guys are asking each other, what are we going to do with ourselves? I guess build sandcastles.” 
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Desert-Bound Marines Learn ABCs of How Not to Offend

Along with their chemical weapons gear, U.S. Marines bound for the Middle East are receiving a quick etiquette course on how to avoid ugly Americanisms in a foreign land. Don’t pass the bread with your left hand. Never give the “A-OK” sign. Refrain from gawking. If introduced to an Arab man--women are out of the question--stand close to him. Very close. And don’t be startled if he takes your hand.

That was some of the advice given to 50 Marines at Camp Pendleton on Thursday--an almost humorous element of training that otherwise has focused on weapons and gas masks and acclimation to searing desert heat. But for these Marines, sitting in rapt attention in a large conference room--some taking copious notes--the advice was intended to ease the merging of cultures suddenly joined by the possibility of war.

The Marines are likely to wind up in the Persian Gulf, where the surrounding nations are known for the strict practice of Islam. This is particularly true in Saudi Arabia, where the bulk of the American troops are stationed and where religion permeates everyday life. And so it went at Camp Pendleton, with Scott giving another of his two- or three-times-daily briefings to Marines about Middle Eastern culture and etiquette.

Scott, a United Methodist minister and senior chaplain to the 1st Marine Division headquartered at Camp Pendleton, spent three years in Bahrain and traveled throughout the Middle East, making him an expert of sorts on Arab customs and culture. For the past two weeks, he’s been holding forth daily for as many as 600 Marines at a time about how they should behave off-duty as guests in Saudi Arabia.

His remarks mirrored the contents of a 40-page booklet produced by the Army and already distributed to U.S. service personnel overseas, covering such subjects as how to greet Arab men and warning that joining your forefinger and thumb and waving doesn’t mean everything’s A-OK. It’s a curse.

For his part, Scott talked of such things as Arab speaking patterns, native dress, marriage and family values, food, drink and religious practices. He said he wanted to sensitize Marines to what they may face, adding: “I’m worried about how we’ll be received. Not the short term, but how we’ll get along with them down the road, 10 years from now.”

• Never cross your legs when sitting among Arabs, warned Navy Commander, Stanley B. Scott, because exposing the underside of your shoes to your guest is an insult something akin to swearing, “Camel dung on you!”
• When Muslims set out their prayer rugs at midday in a public area, do not take pictures and do not gawk. Keep walking, but take the long way around behind them, he advised.
• If you should be invited into a Muslim’s home in that part of the world, don’t expect to see any women. They’ll be in the kitchen, strictly off limits to visitors. 
• And if you come across a Muslim woman in public, don’t even think about asking her what she’s doing tonight.
• If you compliment an Arab on his headdress, expect him to promptly offer it to you as a gift. Not only had you better accept, Scott said, but you’d better offer a reciprocal gift--your own hat.
• Don’t beckon an Arab by pointing at him palm up and curling your fingers upward. That’s how you get a dog’s attention, he said; for an Arab, turn your palm down, then curl your fingers back toward you.
• Don’t figure on sharing a bottle of wine or popping a six-pack, because the Koran, the Muslims’ holy book, has declared alcohol taboo— along with adultery, fornication, pornography and the eating of pork. 
• If invited into an Arab’s home, plan on drinking coffee or tea.
• Never pass a plate or bowl with your left hand, Scott admonished. The left hand is traditionally reserved for sanitary functions, and to use it when offering food or drink is the basest of insults.
• He advised Marines not to take boom boxes or rock ‘n’ roll cassette tapes to Saudi Arabia, and the Marine Corps already has notified families not to send any photos of nude or even semi-nude women to the men overseas— including pictures of wives and girlfriends clad in bathing suits— because Middle Eastern culture frowns on it.

Lance Corporal, Ken Johnson acknowledged after the 30-minute briefing that he and his buddies were a little put off about the prospects for enjoying free time in Saudi Arabia, if they’re destined to go there. “The guys are asking each other, what are we going to do with ourselves? I guess build sandcastles.” — By Tom Gorman, Los Angeles Times, 1990

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Posture and Table Etiquette

"I always want to cross my legs under the table. Most men do, I believe.” And why not? It is a comfortable position. It enables one to sit more erect, too, at the table, and gives one a more graceful pose. I do not know what etiquette says about one’s legs and feet during meal time, but I suppose it goes no further than to suggest that they should be kept under the table, which is correct, I ween.

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For centuries, Asians and Middle Easterners, among many other groups, have dined at low tables, sitting on the floor with their legs crossed, while tall dining tables with accompanying chairs became the norm throughout the US. and Europe.

Western Dining Tables Badly Designed 

Only Now and Then is One Under Which a Man Can Cross His Legs

“I have discovered a very great defect in the architecture of the dining table,” remarked an epicure yesterday, “and the defect is universal. I have found in my time but very few tables built after my ideal, and it seems to me that some man interested in matters of this sort ought to start a revolution along these lines. When I sit down to a meal I want to rest. Eating and resting ought to go together. Restfulness at meal time, absolute comfort at the table and good food of the wholesome kind are things that will commend themselves to most men. Now, I have what I call a meal-time hobby. I always want to cross my legs under the table. Most men do, I believe.”

And why not? It is a comfortable position. It enables one to sit more erect, too, at the table, and gives one a more graceful pose. I do not know what etiquette says about one’s legs and feet during meal time, but I suppose it goes no further than to suggest that they should be kept under the table, which is correct, I ween. But I insist that among my inalienable rights is the right to cross my legs, and to cross them under the mahogany at that, if it pleases me so to do and adds to my comfort. 

What other people may think about it does not count for so much as a whit. And yet, it is a fact that one rarely enjoys this gracious privilege, because of the awkward, grotesque and unhappy character of the dining table. The tables ought to be made differently. They ought to be roomier, so that a fellow would have ample space in which to cross his legs if it pleases him to do so. Of course, if one does not want to cross one’s legs at meal time one need not do it, so the change could do no harm.—New Orleans Times Democrat, 1901

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️Etiquette Encyclopedia

Moroccan Dining Etiquette

A "diffa" is an Arabic reception or banquet. General Mark Clark and Caid El Ayadi dining in 1943

"Morocco Etiquette"

General Mark Clark, head of United States forces in Morocco, is eating with his fingers at the great diffa, or feast, given by the rich, Caid El Ayadi, on the occasion of a wolf hunt. General Clark and his staff enjoyed the diffa immensely. — 
As reported in The Enterprise and Scimitar, May 1943

Dining in the Middle East

To avoid making your hosts feel uncomfortable, there are a few simple guidelines to follow.

• Bring a small gift of flowers, chocolates, pastries, fruit or honey.
• It’s polite to be seen to wash your hands before a meal.
• Always remove your shoes before sitting down on a rug to eat or drink tea.
• Don’t sit with your legs stretched out – it’s considered rude during a meal.
• Always sit next to a person of the same sex at the dinner table unless your host(ess) suggests otherwise.
• Use only your right hand for eating or accepting food.
• When the meal begins, accept as much food as is offered to you. If you say ‘no thanks’ continually, it can offend the host.
• It’s good manners to leave a little food on your plate at the end of the meal: traditionally, a clean plate was thought to invite famine. It can also suggest to your host that they haven't fed you sufficiently.
• Your host will often lay the tastiest morsels in front of you; it’s polite to accept them.
• The best part – such as the meat – is usually saved until last, so don’t take it until offered.

Etiquette Advce from Lonely Planet.com

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia