Gilded Age Brides Want No Kiss

Is it possible that many Gilded Age brides and Dollar Princesses were married off into unions they did not actually desire, which left them not wanting to be kissed? Or was there a genuine wish to keep their kisses private due to a Victorian prudishness?— The most well-known of the “Dollar Princesses,” Consuelo Vanderbilt became the Duchess of Marlborough when she married the Duke of Marlborough in 1895. She was said to have cried unhappily throughout the wedding ceremony.

Kissing Not in Fashion for Wedding Ceremonies 

Kissing the bride at a wedding is no longer fashionable, so the clergyman who officiates at society weddings in future will miss the labial perquisite. Indeed, kissing in public is no longer permissible in good society, and a reserved and refined womanhood has been long in rebellion against this usage without having abolished it until quite recently. This public may be her own invited and welcomed guests, but all tho same she objects to being kissed in their presence, and very properly. Indeed, few brides are willing to have their veils raised and thrown backward until they have left the church. This also is in excellent taste. —Social Etiquette in The Banner, 1888

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Global Etiquette of Parting Ways

“An English woman shakes hands with a man of her acquaintance, while in Spain she always gives her hand to be kissed.” – During the late 19th C. Gilded Age, wealthy American men adopted the custom of kissing a lady’s hand. It was often seen at the time being done by the men of the aristocracy in Europe. American women found it charming at the time. Many still do to this day! – Above, Pinterest image of Larry Russell and Marian Brook of HBO’s “The Gilded Age”

Of Kissing and Weeping

An English journal prints the following: “A very disagreeable habit of the King of Portugal is that he kisses his male friends. The Princes of our reigning house all do this, and of course it is common enough abroad; but, thank heaven, so far this nasty looking (no matter how really innocent) habit has never become fashionable in this country. 

It is of course all a mere question of etiquette, but let us fervently pray that Englishmen when they meet with or part from their friends will never get to think it the correct thing to kiss one another. Etiquette in parting varies all over the world. In America the men shake hands and the women kiss one another and sometimes cry, for the American ladies are champion ‘weepists.’ 

In France and in Italy, even more the women weep, while the men kiss and hug one another almost as vigorously as if they were in a wrestling match. An English woman shakes hands with a man of her acquaintance, while in Spain she always gives her hand to be kissed. It makes the same sensation in Madrid for a man to take a woman’s hand and shake it as it would in London for a foreigner to seize a lady's hand and kiss it.” – Humboldt Democrat, 1896

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia

Gilded Age Etiquette of French Kisses

All types of kisses are allowable on the forehead. Men, especially though, would be wise to check which type of kisses are socially allowable in another country from their own.

It is not considered bad form in Paris to kiss a young woman on the forehead, however slight the acquaintance. Etiquette is more rigorous upon the question of kissing in this country. He is favored, indeed, who can kiss a young woman upon the forehead without getting a bang in the mouth. — Hartford Post, 1886

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia