Etiquette for Caviar

Antique flatware for caviar: a rare, individual, sterling caviar spade in the Versailles flatware pattern, a bone caviar spoon, and a sterling handled, horn bowled, caviar server 
~ The flavor of caviar is often referred to as an acquired taste, but those who enjoy it say it is "an intense explosion of complex flavors." Caviar is a delicacy. It is the unfertilized eggs (roe) of sturgeon brined with a salt solution. The brining solution contributes a little to the overall palate, but caviar enthusiasts often savor the luxurious texture and indescribably rich taste of the caviar berries themselves. - Photo by Maura J. Graber, from “Reaching for the Right Fork”

The eating of caviar has its own set of rituals. Caviar is a "finger food" when eaten as an hors d'oeuvre, and served on toast points, or thin, round slices of bread- usually dry, since good in quality caviar, there should be enough fat in the eggs to moisten the bread.  Purists do not alter the flavor of the caviar with such garnishes as sour cream, chopped egg or onion. As with most finger foods, caviar on toast points, crackers or other small sliced breads, should be eaten in one or two bites.

The following are some considerations:

Caviar should be served from a non-metal spoon. Caviar spoons are widely available in bone, horn, tortoiseshell and mother-of-pearl. Any metals, including silver, will impart a metallic flavor to the granules. 

Depending on the grade of caviar, the flavor of lesser grades can be enhanced with a dab of fresh lemon juice. 

If you don't have a caviar server, place the caviar in a small glass or porcelain bowl, inside of a larger bowl filled with crushed ice. Make sure that the water does not enter the caviar bowl as the ice melts. 

If serving caviar on crackers, use bland, unsalted crackers.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

More of Amy Vanderbilt's Dining Etiquette

A knife and fork are always preferable to fingers when one is in good company, but the following rules will help in dining situations requiring them.

Amy Vanderbilt on Dining 

Artichokes

"The inedible part of the leaf is then placed at the side of the plate so that by the time the choke (the fuzzy center) is reached there is a neat pile of leaves..." 

A finger food. The leaves are pulled off, one at a time, the fleshy base dipped in the accompanying sauce, then dexterously pulled through the teeth to extract the tender part. The inedible part of the leaf is then placed at the side of the plate so that by the time the choke (the fuzzy center) is reached there is a neat pile of leaves which, if the artichoke is very big, may be transferred in part at least to the butter plate, for greater convenience. When the choke appears, it is held with the fork or fingers and the tip of the knife neatly excises this inedible portion. Then the reward of all the labor comes the delicate fond or bottom of the artichoke, which, if large, is cut in manageable bits, then dipped in sauce and enjoyed thoroughly.

Asparagus

Asparagus without sauce is a finger food. "Do not chew up and then discard, however delicately, the tougher ends."

It is not taboo to eat this in the fingers, but it is messy, so a fork is better. Use the fork to separate the tender part from the tougher end of the stem, then, again with the fork, reduce the edible part to manageable lengths to be dipped in sauce. Do not chew up and then discard, however delicately, the tougher ends, though you may bite off anything edible that remains on the ends by holding them in your fingers, not with the fork but this is an informal procedure.

Bacon

Traditional American breakfast fare for those who aren't counting calories.

Very crisp bacon may be eaten in the fingers if breaking it with a fork would scatter bits over the table. Bacon with any vestige of fat must be cut with fork or knife and eaten with the fork.

Small Birds or Frogs' Legs

Crispy frog legs are a delicacy in many countries ~ "... the bones of frogs' legs may be eaten in part with the fingers when the legs... are so small as to defy all but the most expert trencherman." 

 Tiny birds, such as squab and quail, and the bones of frogs' legs may be eaten in part with the fingers when the legs or wings are so small as to defy all but the most expert trencherman. Such small bones are held in the fingers by one end while the other end is placed directly in the mouth. The impression of gnawing the bone must be avoided. It is no shame, by the way, for a lady confronted with a squab or half a broiled chicken to ask assistance from the gentleman with her in dissecting it unless perhaps she's at a formal dinner. This is better than running the risk of having the meat land in her lap or, on the other hand, going hungry, if she is really inept.

Cake

This chocolate cake would be eaten with a fork.

Sticky cake is eaten with a fork. Dry cake, such as pound cake or fruit cake, is broken and eaten in small pieces. Tiny confection cakes (served at wedding receptions, etc...) are eaten in the fingers. Cream puffs, Napoleons, and eclairs, all treacherous as to filling, are eaten with a fork.

Celery and Olives       

Ornate servers for olives, like this example by Gorham, are highly collectable and very valuable.

Celery and olives are on the table when guests are seated if there is no service; or they are passed by a servant during the soup course. They are no longer considered essential even at formal dinner. They are taken in the fingers, placed on the side of the plate or on the butter plate (and see "Salt"). Olives, if small and stuffed, are put all at once in the mouth otherwise they are bitten in large bites and the stone put aside but not cleaned in mouth. 

Chicken (Broiled and Fried)

Bones are not put into the mouth but are stripped with the knife while being held firmly by the fork.

Chicken must be eaten with fork and knife except at picnics. Bones are not put into the mouth but are stripped with the knife while being held firmly by the fork. Joints are cut if one's knife is sharp enough and it can be done without lifting the elbows from the normal eating position. Chicken croquettes should be cut with the fork only, as are all croquettes and fish cakes, then conveyed to the mouth in manageable pieces.

Etiquette for a Variety of Foods

Corn on the Cob

An 1833 patent design for a corn scraper, or corn stripper, for corn on the cob

This is only for informal eating and, unless one's teeth will not permit, is best eaten on the cob, with the fingers of each hand firmly in control on each end. A long ear may be broken in half, but only a row or so at a time is buttered and seasoned, never the whole ear at once. Salt already mixed with butter, pepper, and perhaps paprika and shaped in little pats or balls may be provided by the considerate hostess, but a mixture of salt, butter, and pepper may be made, unnoticeably, on the side of one's plate, then smeared a little at a time on the corn as you are eating it. If the corn is to be cut off the cob, the cob is held on one end with the left hand and the kernels cut off a few rows at a time with the dinner knife (which had better be sharp for the purpose). The kernels are then seasoned and eaten a forkful at a time, as one eats peas. There are small silver spears for holding corn, but if they are provided you are quite free to ignore them for the more trustworthy fingers-directly-on-corn technique.

Fish
    

Small sardines were popular as tinned items in the Victorian Era. Many silver items were made for serving them.

Small fish, fried, are usually served whole (though cleaned) with head and tail (smelt, sunfish, butterfish, etc.). The head is cut off first, then the fish is held in place with the fork and slit with the tip of the knife from head to tail and laid flat. The tip of the knife is then inserted under an end of the backbone, which with the help of the fork in a serving motion is gently lifted out, bringing with it many of the tiny bones in the fish. This skeletal material is laid on the side of the plate or possibly on the butter plate. The balance of the fish is then cut with the fork, or with the knife, if need be, for manageable portions. Any tiny bones still in the fish when it gets into the mouth, after being thoroughly cleaned in the mouth, are taken in thumb and forefinger, and are laid on the edge of the plate or on the butter plate if there is one. There is no objection to anyone hardy enough eating the head, and very tiny fish, such as whitebait (too small to clean), are eaten head and all in one bite. Never one for enjoying the sight of a fish-eye on my plate or in my chowder, I prefer to have even boiled fish (cod, haddock, salmon) come to the table with the head removed, but it is quite proper to serve it whole, with a lemon filling the gaping maw.

Pickles and Radishes
 

An antique relish fork makes a perfect server for pickled cucumber slices.

Whole pickles are taken with the fingers, as are radishes. These are never conveyed from the serving plate directly to the mouth (nor is anything else where a serving plate is provided) but are laid on the side of the dinner or lunch plate or butter plate. (And see "Salt.")
 

Potatoes

Potato Serving Forks

Baked-

These should be rubbed with fat before baking and be presented immediately on coming from the oven, a cross having been cut neatly on the top to allow the escape of steam and to permit the pre-service insertion of a lump of butter, plus a sprinkling of salt and paprika. Then it is simple to hold the potato with the left hand while one explores its innards with the fork. But if a baked potato is presented whole it is taken from the dish with serving fork and spoon, then broken apart with the fingers for buttering and seasoning. It is then eaten with a fork, and if one wishes the skin may be cut up with a knife and eaten (never cutting it up in pieces all at once, any more than one would meat). If the skin is unwanted, the mealy part of the potato is eaten right from the skin with each portion seasoned just before entering the mouth. Except for a child, do not scoop out all the potato, set the skin aside and mash the contents all at once with butter and seasoning.
 

Chips- 

Originally called “Saratoga Chips,” potato chips had a special scoop or server, designed especially to serve them.

Are eaten with the fingers.

French Fried-
  

British fish and chip shoppe wooden “chip forks” for fries, with one done in silver.

Eaten with the fork after being halved with the fork, if necessary. It's poor manners to hold a piece of food with the fork and nibble off a manageable mouthful.

Shoe String- 

If really dry and impossible to eat with fork, may be eaten with the fingers.

Salad    

Victorian lettuce serving forks

A quarter of iceberg lettuce may be eaten with knife and fork, though gourmets and nutritionists both frown on the cutting of lettuce in salad preparation. Lettuce for mixed salad should be broken in bits and mixed at the last minute to preserve the vitamin content.
 

Salt- 

Early Victorian salt cellar, long salt spoon and pepper shaker

 If there is only one saltcellar on the table (as there is when a condiment set is used or when there is a master salt), the salt is always sent down the table to the honored guest, if there is one, or to the hostess before making the rounds of the family. If salt is needed for dipping radishes or celery or for corn on the cob it is placed on the edge of the plate, never on the table cloth. If open salts are used and no salt spoon provided, use a clean knife to take salt from a common container. If individual open salts are at each place, salt may be taken between thumb and forefinger.

All photos courtesy of Maura Graber of the RSVP Institute of Etiquette and much of the text is from “Amy Vanderbilt's Complete Book of Etiquette”

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Yesteryear: Edwardian Table Etiquette

though 95% of these still apply today!

Send ten cents for our beautifully illustrated book “How to Set the Table” by Mrs. Rorer (Sarah Tyson Rorer)  ~1901

Table Etiquette

A man should not seat himself at the dinner table until his wife or his hostess is seated. This rule holds good in the home, for if it is not practised there, it will not be observed gracefully in society.

Seat yourself not too close to nor too far from the table.

One should sit quietly at the table, without handling the cutlery or making useless motions, while waiting to be served.  One, however, should not ever appear this bored at the dinner table.

Erect position at table is the first requisite. One should so place one's seat that correct position is possible, and then should keep it.

Elbows should never be placed upon the table.

The hands should be kept quietly in the lap while not busy with the food.

One should sit quietly at the table, without handling the cutlery or making useless motions, while waiting to be served.

If there is some form of grace said, or some simple ceremony preliminary to the meal, one should pay respectful attention silently.

A properly set dinner table by Mrs. Rorer

Do not seem impatient to be served. The meal is a social occasion and the food is an adjunct to friendly intercourse. The success of the meal depends equally perhaps upon the food and the conversation. Because of the interruptions of service, conversation cannot be long continued, or deeply thoughtful. It must be on subjects of no great moment nor grave interest, or on such subjects lightly touched; but it should be on bright, cheerful topics, and as witty as the talent of the company affords.

Eating should be slow, and mastication of the food thorough, for reasons of health as well as for the sake of appearance. No meal can be eaten properly and adequately in less than thirty minutes, but more than an hour for a meal is sheer waste of both time and food, unless the company is large, the times of waiting between courses long, and the portions served very small.

Eat silently. The noise of food being masticated is very distressing, and except in cases of crusts and crisp vegetables, perfectly unnecessary.

The napkin is unfolded and spread over the lap. One is supposed to be skillful enough in raising food to the lips not to need the napkin in front of the dress or coat to prevent injury.

In case you do not care for a course, you should not refuse it. Receive it, and take what part of it you desire, trying to take some; or, if you wish, leave it untouched, but do not have the appearance of being neglected or ill-provided for, even if you do not eat of it. A little more attention to conversation on your part may make unnoticeable to those about you the fact that you do not eat of a certain course.

If your preference is consulted as to food, whether the matter be trivial to you or not, express some preference so that the one who is serving, and who has asked to be guided, may be so far assisted.

Never place food or waste matter upon the tablecloth. An exception to this may be made in regard to hard breads and celery, when individual dishes for these are not furnished. Always use the side of some one of the dishes about you for chips and scraps.

The fork is used in general except with semi-liquid sauces, where a spoon is of necessity used. It is not permissible to eat peas with a spoon.

The mouth should be closed while it contains food. It should not be too full, as it is often necessary to reply to some question when there is food in the mouth. Do not leave the table until you have quite ceased chewing. 

An invitation for breakfast meant one would probably be dining on several courses, over a few hours or so.

Be dainty and skillful in using your napkin and cutlery, avoiding soiling the tablecloth.

Discussions and unpleasant topics of conversation should never be introduced. One should regard not only one's own aversions but those of the others present.

Never put your finger in your mouth at table, nor pick your teeth.

Tidiness of personal appearance is never at a higher premium than at the dining table. Soiled hands, negligee dress, shirt sleeves, and disheveled hair are disgusting there.


It is quite proper to take the last helping of any dish which may be passed you. To refrain looks as if you  doubted the supply.

Bread is not cut, but broken into fairly small pieces. One should never nibble from a large piece.

It is permissible to eat crackers, olives, celery, radishes, salted nuts, crystallized fruits, corn on the cob, bonbons, and most raw fruits from the fingers. 

Apples, pears, and peaches are quartered, peeled, and then cut into small pieces.

Cherries, plums, and grapes are eaten one by one, the stones being removed with the fingers and laid upon the plate.

Cheese may be laid in small pieces on bread or crackers, and conveyed to the mouth in that way.

Asparagus should be eaten with the fork, the part which is not readily broken off by it being left.
   

Tidiness of personal appearance is never at a higher premium than at the dining table.

At a formal meal a second helping of a dish is never offered, and should never be asked for; but at an informal dinner party it is not out of place to accept a second helping, if one is offered, but is complimentary to the hostess, who is responsible for the cook.

In passing the plate for a second helping, the knife and fork should be laid across it full length,—not held in the hand until the plate returns.

One may ask the waiter for a second or third glass of water, as even at a formal dinner that is always permissible.

Lettuce, cress, and chicory are never cut with a knife, but rolled up on the fork and so conveyed to the mouth.

Never leave the spoon in any cup while drinking from it.

Liquid bouillon,—not jellied,—should be drunk from the bouillon cup.

Spoons are used for grape fruit and oranges, when cut in halves and put upon a plate, for soft-boiled eggs, puddings, custards, and gelatins.

With fruit, finger-bowls should always be passed. A bowl half-full of water is placed upon a plate covered with a doily. Unless the fruit is passed upon a second plate, the bowl and doily are removed from this and set at one side, the fruit being eaten from this plate. The fingers are then dipped, one hand at a time, into the water, and wiped upon the napkin.

Supper defined by Mrs. Rorer: A full supper service consists of silver tea set, plates, bread tray, cold meat dish, silver covered hot water dish ...

Salt should never be put upon the tablecloth, but always on the side of the plate, unless the individual salts are provided.

Never spit out a prune, peach, or cherry stone.

Never hold food on the fork while you are talking, ready as soon as you reach a period to be put into your mouth. Having once picked it up, eat it promptly.

A bit of bread, but nothing else, may be used, if necessary, to help one put food upon the fork.

If one tastes of something which one does not care to swallow, it may be removed from the mouth with the closed left hand and placed on the plate. This should be done silently and with as little attention as possible.

Never take a chicken or chop bone in the fingers. Cut the meat from the bone, leaving all that does not readily separate.

Bread and butter plates, with the butter spreader, are always used, except at formal dinners, when the dinner-roll is laid in the fold of the napkin. 

The knife is used only for cutting, and for spreading butter on bread in the absence of butter spreaders.

Almost all foods are eaten with the fork, which should always be used in the right hand with the tines up. It may be held in the left hand, tines down, when one is cutting, the knife being in the right hand.

The soup spoon is an almost circular and quite deep spoon. Therefore it is obvious that the soup should be noiselessly sipped from the side of it. When the oval dessert spoon is used for soup, it is especially necessary to sip the liquid from the side.

Special spoon-shaped forks are provided for salads, ices, and creams, but for these spoons may always be substituted.

No hot drink should be poured from the cup into the saucer to cool it.

Toothpicks should not be passed at the table. They may be left on the sideboard, and if one is needed, it may be requested of the waiter or taken as you leave the room, but always used in private.

Wherein elderly people do differently from the established ways of to-day, they are not to be criticised.

Manners change even several times within a generation, and such may be simply following the customs they were taught. When the three-tined fork was the only one in common use, the blade of the knife was much more in requisition than now.

On leaving the table the dishes of the last course should be left exactly as used, and the napkin left unfolded by the side of the plate. In case one is at home, or visiting a friend, and the napkins usually serve for two or three meals, then neatly fold it. Many families have clean napkins once a day, that is, at dinner.

The chair should either be pushed quite back from the table, or close to it, so that others may easily pass by.

If obliged to leave the table in the midst of a meal, one should address the hostess, saying, “Please excuse me,” as he rises.

–From “The Etiquette of To-Day,” by Edith Ordway, 1918

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia