Gilded Age New Year’s Fashions, 1883

It is not in good taste to wear low-necked or sleeveless dresses for the daytime. It is done by brides on their wedding day sometimes, but for receptions or on New-Year’s scarcely ever in these latter days. It once was the foolish fashion. Indeed, the range of dress proper for this unique occasion is a wide one. One only custom is peremptory— a lady must wear gloves.

“Le jour de l’an,” as the French call it, is, indeed, the principal day of the year to many who still keep up the custom of calling and of receiving calls— a custom which has been in danger of falling into desuetude, through the size of the city and its immense growth of population, in New York. There are, however, other towns and “much country” (as the Natives say) outside of New York, and there are warm hearts and hospitable boards in it still, where the happy and the light-hearted, the gay and the thoughtful, will meet and exchange wishes for a happy New-Year.

To those who will receive calls, we would say that the best plan is, if possible, to have every arrangement made two or three days before New Year’s, so that the lady, or ladies, will not feel flurried, as calls begin early, even at eleven o’clock, if the caller means to make a goodly day of it. A lady should have her hair dressed for the day when she rises, and if her dress be not too elaborate, put it on then, so that she be not upstairs but down in the parlor when the first of the gentlemen callers arrive. 

In regard to the question of dress, as to what to wear, we should say that for elderly ladies black velvet, or black satin, or any of the handsome combination dresses so fashionable now, with handsome laces, with always a pair of Swedish gloves (of pearl or tan color, not white kids; these are decidedly rococo, and not in fashion), would be appropriate. A black satin, elegantly made up with beaded passementerie, is perhaps the handsomest dress for anybody. Brocaded silk, plain gros-grain — any thing even which a lady would wear at the wedding reception of her daughter is allowable, although the plainer dresses are in better taste.

For young ladies nothing is so pretty as a dress of light cashmere and silk, made high. These dresses, in the very pretty tints worn now, are extremely becoming, warm-looking, and appropriate for a reception, when the door is being thrown open often. White dresses of thick silk or cashmere, trimmed around the neck with lace, are also exceedingly elegant. In all countries young married ladies are allowed to be as magnificent as a picture of Marie de Medicis, and can wear on New-Year's Day rose-colored and white brocaded silk, pearl trimmings, or plain ciel blue, or prawn-colored silk over white, or embossed velvet, or what they please, so that the dress is cut high, with long sleeves to the elbow; and each lady should have near her an ermine cape or small camel's-hair shawl in case of draughts. 

It is not in good taste to wear low-necked or sleeveless dresses for the daytime. It is done by brides on their wedding day sometimes, but for receptions or on New-Year’s scarcely ever in these latter days. It once was the foolish fashion. Indeed, the range of dress proper for this unique occasion is a wide one. One only custom is peremptory— a lady must wear gloves.

Whilst much magnificence is allowable, still a plain black or dark silk dress, if well made, with fresh ruffles at neck and wrist, is quite as proper as anything else, and men generally admire it more. But where a lady has several daughters to receive with her, she should study the effect of her rooms, and dress the young ladies in prettily contrasting colors, now so easily and cheaply done since the pretty merinos have come in in the fashionable shades. Short dresses are usually worn in these materials. Imported dresses are now so cheap and so easily obtained that a mother with many daughters can not do better than to buy what the economical French make up for their jour de l'an dresses. They have no idea in France of our extravagant way of doing things. — Harper’s Bazar, 1883 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age New Year’s Entertaining

Hot oysters, salads, boned turkeys, quail, and hot terrapin are offered by the wealthy, and wines are poured ad libitum, but this is a difficult table to keep in order when 10 men call at one o’clock, and 40 at four o’clock, and none between. The best table is one furnished with boned turkey and jellied tongues and pâtés which cut easily, sandwiches easy to eat, with cake and fruit merely as an ornamental aside, while the modern and admirable adjunct of a spirit-lamp under a tea-kettle keeps the bouillon, tea, and coffee always hot.

A lady who expects to have many calls, and who wishes to offer refreshments, should have hot coffee and tea and a bowl of punch on a convenient table, or, better still, a silver kettle filled with bouillon standing in the hall, so a gentleman can take a cup of it, unsolicited, going in or coming out. If she lives in an English basement house, this table can be in the lower dining-room. In a house three rooms deep, the table and all the refreshments can be in the usual dining-room, or, if she pleases, in the upper back parlor. Of course her “grand spread” can be as gorgeous as she pleases.

Hot oysters, salads, boned turkeys, quail, and hot terrapin are offered by the wealthy, and wines are poured ad libitum, but this is a difficult table to keep in order when ten men call at one o’clock, and forty at four o’clock, and none between. The best table is one furnished with boned turkey and jellied tongues and pâtés which cut easily, sandwiches easy to eat, with cake and fruit merely as an ornamental aside, while the modern and admirable adjunct of a spirit-lamp under a tea-kettle keeps the bouillon, tea, and coffee always hot.

These, with the tea-cups necessary to serve them, should be on a small table at one side. A maid in a neat cap and apron should be in con stant attendance on this table, and a man-servant or two will be needed to attend the door (which should never be left for a moment unattended) and to wait on the table. The man at the door should have a silver waiter or neat card-receiver, which he holds out for the card when the gentleman enters. If the gentleman is not known to the lady of the house, he sends in his card; if he is, he does not send it in, but leaves it with the waiter, who deposits it in some receptacle, where it is kept until the lady can examine all her cards the next day. If the gentleman is calling on a young lady, and is not known to the hostess, he sends in his card to the young lady, who presents him to the hostess and to all the ladies present. 

If the room is full, she can content herself with presenting the gentleman to her hostess. If the room is comparatively empty, it is much kinder to introduce the gentleman to all the ladies, as it tends to make conversation more easy. There can be no objection to this. As a gentleman rises to make his exit, the lady can say, “Won't you take some refreshment?” and motion him toward the dining-room. But this hospitality should never be urged upon a man. Few gentlemen accustomed to dine late like to spoil their dinners. In a country neighborhood, or after a long walk, most gentlemen, however, do like to break their fast, and go in willingly to eat a slice of boned turkey and to take a few pickled oysters, or simply to eat a sandwich and take a cup of bouillon.

The etiquette of New-Year’s is also peremptory in not asking a gentlemen if “you can relieve him of his hat,” or asking him to leave off his overcoat. He will prefer probably to wear his overcoat and to carry his hat in his hand during his brief visit. If he wishes to leave off either, he will do so in the hall. But on that point he is a free moral agent, and it is not a part of the duty of any hostess to even suggest what he shall do with his clothes.— Harpers Bazar, 1883

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

American vs Korean Etiquette

“Among other things, she had made a very excellent and rather large cake, which she expected to distribute in small slices to her callers.”

Eastern Etiquette Met Western Etiquette, on New Year’s Day, Leaving One Gentleman Sick

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A Native’s Call Upon an American Lady

The native Koreans, who have become familiar with foreigners and their ways, take very readily to the custom of calling and eating on New Year’s day. and one American lady had a very peculiar experience with a native official in Seoul on New Year’s day. 

She was keeping open house and had made preparations for receiving her guests in the proper manner. Among other things, she had made a very excellent and rather large cake, which she expected to distribute in small slices to her callers. A party of native gentlemen arrived, and having given one of them a cup of tea, she placed this large cake before him, with an invitation to help himself. She then went with the others to another room and was gone some time.

When she returned she saw, to her horror, that her cake had all but disappeared. The native, according to his ideas of etiquette, had done his best not to leave any of the eatables set before him. The lady’s vexation was banished by a feeling of pity for the poor fellow, who was quite sick from overfeeding. 

It is said that this call was his first and last that day. He declared to his his friends that foreigners “must be all stomach” If they could go from house to house and “eat that much every time.” — London Mail, 1897

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Gilded Age New Year's Day Etiquette

New Year's Celebrations in New York, 1871 — "No calls after 9pm will be permissible, according to the new etiquette of the day. From all that can be learned, therefore, it appears that in “high circles” the celebration is to be about the dullest and dreariest formality that could be conceived." 

The Celebration this Year 

In New-York

Part 1— The Customs of the Day

The celebration will not prove less general this year as far New-York is concerned, but there will be noted considerable change in the customs of the day. From all that can be gathered from Brown and other wise men of the inner social circle, it appears that there will be a dull tone respectability pervading the observances. It will not be the rollicking carnival of the olden time, when everybody, however genteel, felt warranted in coming down from his stilts and engaging with impunity in a wild revelry that would be tolerated on no other day. 

A remarkable falling off in enthusiasm has marked New-Year’s Day celebrations for the past five years. But before that, even, croaking prophets had begun to presage the decline of the festival; though; notwithstanding, “calling” continued general, among high and low, and the streets afforded the usual midnight scenes and sounds of bacchanalian uproar. There was a change in custom, however, for all the outward signs remained as strong as ever.

What Brown Says

Many of our first families, according to Brown, are going further still. Forestalling the fashion of the future, they entirely abandon the customs of their fathers. They close their doors against all comers, of whatever quality, affording not even the poor cheer of a social glass. The reception of cards, not of persons, will be encouraged by these ultra-exclusive fashionables. 

For such as do call in high circles, Brown says that full evening dress will be necessary: claw-hammer coat, black necktie and the display of shirt bosom equal to one-third the square inches of the caller’s surface. No calls after 9pm will be permissible, according to the new etiquette of the day. From all that can be learned, therefore, it appears that in “high circles” the celebration is to be about the dullest and dreariest formality that could be conceived. But it must not be supposed that the first “society” is in the majority. Although it sets the fashion for all, that fashion has a year or so to run before its general adoption.

The Card-Droppers

The cards of the callers are being gotten up by the Broadway engravers in various unique styles, comic effects predomination in the designs, though a few attempts at poetical graces in delicacy of workmanship and suggestiveness of allegory are to be remarked. The orders for such cards have been filled by the million. There never was such a demand as that which prevailed last week among the trade in bristol board. This is accounted for by those best acquainted with the rules of social etiquette, by cards, instead of calling and gorging and guzzling in proof of good feeling for the at whose expense you gorge and guzzle. A very sensible reform, truly – at least so think the engravers.

A Victorian calling card salver —The New York Times in 1871 has published a new reform of social etiquette to send an invitation on a card instead of calling (per “Brown” in the above article). One would wonder how the unique styles would be used, according to the station in society. But then again the importance of receiving one would show the request of your presence.

Part 2 — Society Alarmed

The wealthy classes – those among them, at least who delight in the lacteal pedigree, crème de la crème – had begun to draw pertly within their shells. Merchants and manufacturers no longer set immense tables, and threw open their doors for the admission of their workmen, and often a general rabble composed of fire boys and corner loafers. Their wives and daughters began to doubt the propriety of making their usual concessions to the rude customs of the days culture was at work lopping of the gnarled branches of the social tree. Mrs. Grundy commanded exclusiveness in New Year’s receptions fashion indorsed Mrs. Grundy. So high society closed its doors to the world in general and limited its hospitalities to a select set.

Change of Customs

This was the first step of a reform that is gradually undermining customs of the New Year, working its changes almost imperceptibly, yet so surely that in five years more the custom of calling and gorging may have fallen back into misty tradition of the manners of an olden time. Today’s celebration will be pretty general – there can be no doubt of that; but there are significant changes of custom to be noted.

There will be fewer tables set than ever before, among the society leaders; there will be less display of culinary temptations in the parlors of the parvenus. It is the style of thing, this time, to fill your house with young women in superb toilets, and offer your guest a simple glass of wine; and in no case must this guest be a partial stranger, nor must strangers be introduced on this carnival time, no matter what their social standing. 

High society has taken the alarm, and fearing she has been too free in the past, does not mean to let her feelings carry her away again; hence the tighter drawing of the lines on this day, which once was marked by an utter abandonment of the rules of social exclusiveness. — From New York Times January 1, 1871

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia