Country House Luncheon Etiquette

No precedence is observed at a luncheon party, except when Royalty is present; and the host does not give his arm to the lady of highest rank, but when luncheon is ready, the butler throws open the door of the drawing-room, and announces, ‘Luncheon is ready.’ (This announcement follows immediately after a bell has been rung or a gong has been sounded.) The host, or hostess, if there is no host, then says, “Shall we go to lunch?” and the guests leave the room, and adjourn to the dining-room.

 —   photo source, Pinterest 

Next in the order of the proceedings comes ‘luncheon,’— ‘Déjeuner a la fourchette’ or ‘le lunch,’ as the French call it.

Unlike breakfast, people in London send their friends invitations for this meal; and, during the London season, most people receive two or three or more guests each day to lunch after their morning drive, ride, or walk in ‘The Ladies’ Mile’ is over.

These invitations are either given verbally by a lady meeting a friend, to whom she says,— ‘Will you come and lunch with me to-day, at two o’clock?’ Or by a written invitation,—

Dear Mrs B.,

If you are disengaged, will you give me the pleasure of your company at luncheon next Thursday, at two o'clock? Believe me, 

           Yours sincerely,

                         May Smith

Or some people are always ‘At Home’ on Sundays or a given day in the week, at luncheon, so that their friends and acquaintances may drop in when it suits them, without any special invitation.

This is very convenient, though perhaps somewhat trying to the chef not to know exactly for how many persons he must provide, but that is a slight difficulty which a good manager soon disposes of, and when the house is a popular one, it soon becomes easy to calculate pretty accurately the number of guests who are likely to put in an appearance on each occasion.

If you ask your friends to luncheon, do not arm them downstairs as if they were incapable of walking alone, but let them come as they please, and sit where they like.

No precedence is observed at a luncheon party, except when Royalty is present; and the host does not give his arm to the lady of highest rank, but when luncheon is ready, the butler throws open the door of the drawing-room, and announces, ‘Luncheon is ready.’ (This announcement follows immediately after a bell has been rung or a gong has been sounded.)

The host, or hostess, if there is no host, then says, “Shall we go to lunch?” and the guests leave the room, and adjourn to the dining-room.

In some places, the servants stand in a row in the room or passage leading to the diningroom, and when the guests have taken their places, they enter the room and proceed to hand them the different dishes.

When they have done this, they take up their positions behind the guests’ chairs, so as to be in readiness to change the plates, bring them other dishes, etc...

The butler hands the plates to the footmen, and then proceeds to pour out the wine, etc.

In large houses, both in London and the country, luncheon is often served like dinners, ‘à la Russe.’ But in smaller establishments, with less servants and pretension, or where the guests are on less formal terms, the different dishes are placed upon the table, the guests help themselves and each other, and the host undertakes the principal part of the carving.

Then the wine is placed upon the table, and the guests pass it round the table.

At these informal luncheons, the host dismisses the servants after the covers have been removed, and only rings for them again when the next course is ready to be partaken of.

A small hand-bell is placed by the host, or the bell is connected to his chair by a cord passed along the floor, or in many modern houses an electric bell is used.

A ‘dumbwaiter’ is very useful. It is placed by the host's side, and holds pickles, sauces, etc., so that they are handy when wanted.

Luncheon tables are, as a rule, not very much ornamented; a silver cup, and specimen glasses with flowers, being sufficient.

Coffee is always served after luncheon, in the drawing-room, and liqueurs are also brought for those of the guests who like to take them.

The butler pours the coffee into the cup as each guest takes it from the tray or salver presented to them by the footman.

Hot and cold milk, cream, and sugar candy are always served with coffee, as everybody does not like ‘cafe noir.’

At luncheon, if some of the guests have finished first (which must happen when there are a great many people present), they remain seated until everyone has done, and all leave the room together.

It is not etiquette for each person to get up and leave the table the moment they have partaken of all they wish.

Finger glasses are never used after luncheon.

Conversation should be, as far as possible, general,—it is not like dinner, tete-a-tetes are more usual then.

Claret and sherry are the usual wines drunk at lunch, and pale ale and porter. Port after lunch. Some people take brandy or whisky and soda or seltzer, or other mineral waters. Some prefer champagne or hock.

Fruit is generally the conclusion of luncheon, but no other kind of dessert.

Biscuit and toast are usually provided, as many people eat them in preference to white or brown bread.

Soup is sometimes served at luncheon, and fish, but it usually consists of roast, or boiled, or stewed joints, entrees, dressed fish, sweets, and sometimes savouries.

Luncheon should always be an unceremonious meal, unless some particular reason exists to the contrary, in which case it becomes an entertainment like a dinner party or a ball, and would be given on the same scale of magnificence and hospitality. — From æEtiquette: What to Do, and How to Do It,æ – By Lady Constance Eleanora C. Howard, 1885

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Country House Breakfast Etiquette

It is not so necessary to try and make conversation at breakfast as at other meals, as so early in the day people are less inclined to conversation,—more occupied with their letters and newspapers than they are later on. Letters are either placed on the sideboard, so that each person on entering can appropriate those that belong to them, or the host opens the post-bag and distributes the contents to his guests.
— photo source, Pinterest 

In some country houses breakfast is a meal which may be enjoyed any time between nine forty-five and eleven o'clock. Where ‘family prayers’ are held, it usually follows immediately after they are over.

Etiquette demands that either host or hostess should be present at breakfast, certainly both when the party comprises any Royal or celebrated personage, or where those assembled are of very high rank. When the guests are only relations or very intimate friends, then it would be permissible for the hostess to breakfast in her own room if she wished. When breakfast becomes the most agreeable meal, is when people drop in just when it pleases them, and can talk or be silent just as the humour takes them.

Tea and coffee are both necessities at breakfast, and often chocolate and cocoa, brown and white bread, cream, milk (hot and cold), butter, jam, honey, marmalade, fancy bread and cakes, with muffins in the winter, are the usual viands provided in large country houses.

Where the means of the host are more limited, a more simple style of entertainment would be correct. A few flowers carefully disposed upon the table always look well.

Tea and coffee are either dispensed by the host at one end of the table and the hostess at the other, or else by the butler at a side table, and handed to the guests on a silver salver, the servant saying,— ‘Tea or coffee, ma’am?’

In some houses the tables are arranged for two people only, and then each have a small teapot and one of coffee, and people help themselves. This is an excellent plan.

On the other hand, in some houses breakfast is laid upon a large table, as dinner or luncheon would be served, and then it becomes a very stiff proceeding. A side table, well laden with cold meat, game (when in season), potted fish, ham, tongue, etc., should always be provided, and plenty of hot dishes, such as kedgeree, devilled-chicken, kidneys, eggs and bacon, broiled ham, cutlets, sausages, etc...

The most agreeable way is for the gentlemen present to wait upon the rest of the guests, but sometimes a row of powdered footmen, marshalled by butler, groom of the chambers, etc..., form an imposing phalanx, who quite destroy, by their well-trained solemnity, all freedom and comfort as far as breakfast is concerned.

There is less etiquette observed at breakfast than at any other meal. Everyone sits wherever they like, without reference to rank or precedence. The gentlemen do not give their arm to the ladies to conduct them to breakfast; each person as they arrive takes the seat they prefer.

It is not so necessary to try and make conversation at breakfast as at other meals, as so early in the day people are less inclined to conversation,—more occupied with their letters and newspapers than they are later on.

Letters are either placed on the sideboard, so that each person on entering can appropriate those that belong to them, or the host opens the post-bag and distributes the contents to his guests. When all have finished, one of the gentlemen would open the door for the ladies, who would leave the room without any order of precedence; or etiquette allows that each person, when they have finished breakfast, may leave the room without reference to the rest—whether they are still eating or not.

At breakfast the hostess would inquire of her guests in what manner they would like to pass the morning until luncheon time, as a country house, to fulfill its mission, should emphatically be ‘Liberty Hall.’ When such is not the case, the hosts are seldom favoured with a second visit from those who have once been their guests.

At breakfast most of the good things are placed upon the table, which enables those present to help themselves, and then pass the dishes on to the rest of the company. — From “Etiquette: What to Do, and How to Do It,” By Lady Constance Eleanora C. Howard, 1885

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Country House Party Etiquette

“Try the plovers' eggs,” said the MP to the Irish journalist in a London club. So he did, not knowing in what shape or form they would appear before him. They came whole, in their shells and, if the establishment was doing things the Mrs Beeton way, they would have been served boiled hard and delivered to the table in a napkin. Either hot or cold.The journalist looked at his plate and wondered. He was soon shown how, when the politician picked up one, rapped it briskly off his plate, peeled off the shards of eggshell and proceeded to eat - Irish Times, 1996

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Brown and white bread and butter should always be served with them when plovers' eggs are in season. Plovers' eggs are usually served boiled hard, and sent to table in a napkin, either hot or cold. They may also be shelled, and served the same as eggs à la Tripe, with a good Bechamel sauce, or brown gravy, poured over them. They are also used for decorating salads, “the beautiful colour of the white being generally so much admired.” according to Mrs. Beeton

The first evening of a large party in a country house, the guests are usually sent in with due regard to the rank and precedence; on subsequent evenings so much formality is not observed. In some houses the ladies choose one evening, the gentlemen the next, who shall escort them to dinner; in other houses they draw lots.

Either are good plans, as they obviate the necessity of having the same companion for a week, maybe longer, which arrangement is sometimes very pleasant, sometimes very much the reverse.

Extra arrivals each evening would make precedence necessary again, as lots and choosing your partners, if I may so express it, for dinner, would be too unceremonious a way of arranging matters to meet the requirements as to rank, etc., of a very large country house party; and as at each of these reunions there are sure to be some who think a great deal of the respect due to them, it is as well, indeed it is simply a matter of etiquette, to conform to them.

In most country houses, also at London dinner parties, the butler usually brings in a tray with brandy and whisky, seltzer, soda-water, and ice, in case any of the guests wish to partake of anything before leaving.

Finger glasses filled with water, peppermint water, or water with a slice of lemon in it, should always be handed round after prawns, shrimps, or 'crawfish,' so that the guests may dip their fingers in, then wipe them on the serviette, to get rid of the fishy smell.

Brown and white bread and butter should always be served with all these fish, also when plovers' eggs are in season, with them also.

Awnings should always be provided at large dinner parties, and also on all occasions even when an awning is not considered necessary. 'Carriage rollers' should be provided; they are put down by the footmen prior to the dinner party, so that the guests should step upon them on getting out of their carriages, which prevents their feet getting damp, and their dresses dirty. 

Red cloth is only laid down when Royal guests are expected ; an awning then is also imperatively necessary.— From "Etiquette: What to Do, and How to Do It," By Lady Constance Eleanora C. Howard, 1885

 Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the

Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette Over Royal Pretender

“Some people have declared that the Jacobites used to drink from the finger bowls themselves to ‘Charlie across the water,’ but this is a needless aspersion on the followers of James II...” – The focus of the Jacobitism political movement in Great Britain and Ireland. Jacobites and Charles Edward Stuart (1720 – 1788) aka “Bonnie Prince Charlie” aimed to restore him and his heirs to the thrones of England, Scotland, France and Ireland.

Royal Etiquette for Finger Bowls

During a visit of Royalty in a country house everybody rises when the Royal personage enters a room, but there is another custom which is perhaps little known to the outside world. That is a curious rule regarding finger bowls. 

At dinner parties where any members of the Royal family happen to be present, none of the other guests is provided with a finger bowl. The reason given for this practice is that it is a custom dating from the time of the pretender, when the Jacobites used to drink from them to “Charlie across the water.” – Los Angeles Herald, 1902

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia