The Charm of Gentle Manners
Deportment is a gentler course in the training of young girl than physical culture. Physical training, however, forms a large part of the foundation upon which good manners are built. The girl who carries herself gracefully on all occasions is like an accomplished actress— has mastered the art which conceals art. Her rhythmic movements, her attractive poses have been so carefully studied that they seem to be perfectly natural.
One of the first lessons the young girl learns in fashionable deportment is how to stand correctly. If 10 or 20 girls are asked to take a standing position in a drawing room with nothing to occupy their hands, there may be two or three out of the number who will fall into graceful and attractive positions. The others will lean on one foot, drop the arms awkwardly at the side, hold the head at an unbecoming jangle or illustrate any one of the countless other “don'ts” which the young girl must learn to avoid before she is ready to make a good favorable impression in the drawing-room and ballroom.
Even a wallflower may be decorative if she knows how to stand and sit without expressing in her pose the anxiety of her mind. She can not be an ornament if she is the least bit awkward. The correct standing position, whether one is chatting with a friend in the street in class or in the ballroom, is to balance easily on the balls of the feet, with the body poised in such a way that a quick movement backward or forward can be made without, causing discomfiture to one's self or one’s neighbor. While resting in this position one should always be on the alert for change of position. Do not stand with one knee slightly bent, as so many girls stand unconsciously. They think that standing first on one foot and then on the other, rests them, but it makes them grow tired quicker than if they stood twice as long, balanced evenly on both feet.
Standing on one foot gives the figure a one sided appearance. It makes one hip look larger than the other, one shoulder seems to droop below its mate, and altogether the position throws the body into unsymmetrlcal lines and curves. Keep the knees stiff. This will prevent the one sided effect. One instructor told her girls: “Stand on your bones,” meaning that they should stand with the knee joints rigid and the whole weight of the body evenly distributed on the two feet. As soon as you shift the weight from one foot to the other, you begin to tire yourself and look awkward. Almost any girl will be able to stand in this correct position for a long time without feeling fatigued in the least. And for classwork, this point is well worth remembering, if it has not already been brought to your attention. The girl who is restless when she stands is a burden to herself and a worry to her companions.
Sitting is more of an art than the average girl imagines. The untrained girl drops into a chair and gets out of it any way, but the trained girl becomes a part of the chair when she is seated. First, she learns how to walk up to it, facing the chair, how to swing her body as on a pivot while changing her position, and after her feet are properly placed so that she can sit down gracefully, she gently lowers herself into the chair. When preparing to rise the feet should be placed firmly on the floor, one in front of the other, and the body brought upward by balancing it on the balls of the feet again.
Standing on one foot gives the figure a one sided appearance. It makes one hip look larger than the other, one shoulder seems to droop below its mate, and altogether the position throws the body into unsymmetrlcal lines and curves. Keep the knees stiff. This will prevent the one sided effect. One instructor told her girls: “Stand on your bones,” meaning that they should stand with the knee joints rigid and the whole weight of the body evenly distributed on the two feet. As soon as you shift the weight from one foot to the other, you begin to tire yourself and look awkward. Almost any girl will be able to stand in this correct position for a long time without feeling fatigued in the least. And for classwork, this point is well worth remembering, if it has not already been brought to your attention. The girl who is restless when she stands is a burden to herself and a worry to her companions.
Sitting is more of an art than the average girl imagines. The untrained girl drops into a chair and gets out of it any way, but the trained girl becomes a part of the chair when she is seated. First, she learns how to walk up to it, facing the chair, how to swing her body as on a pivot while changing her position, and after her feet are properly placed so that she can sit down gracefully, she gently lowers herself into the chair. When preparing to rise the feet should be placed firmly on the floor, one in front of the other, and the body brought upward by balancing it on the balls of the feet again.
It more difficult to lift the body to a standing position when the feet are placed side by side, than when one foot is advanced slightly. This position prepares one for the first step in walking to another part of the room or when taking one’s departure. The awkward girl shifts her weight first from one foot to the other and usually has difficulty in getting under way when she could avoid it all by placing her feet in the correct position when she prepares to rise from the chair. After a few lessons, the position becomes quite simple. – 1911
Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia
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