Mid 20th C. Correspondence Etiquette

Amy Vanderbilt was one of the most successful authorities on etiquette of the 20th century. Her books were published in many countries and languages, including the book above in Lithuanian.

Dear Miss Vanderbilt: Have times changed so much that “cordially” is now accepted as good form for the closing of a letter? In a 1938 edition of Emily Post's book I find the following: “Cordially” was coined no doubt to fill this need (an expression to fit sentiment more friendly than “sincerely” and less intimate than “affectionately”) but its condescension puts it in the category of all other offenses of pretentiousness, and in New York at least it is not used by people of best taste.

I continue to receive notes. signed “cordially,” which I do not appreciate. The latest is a thank-you note from a bride, which means a young person is condescending to a much older person. Perhaps a comment in your column would help. D. F., Baltimore

ETIQUETTE changes. I can assure you that in the best New York society the closing. “Cordially” is very frequently seen and is not considered in the least condescending. It is a little more friendly than “Sincerely” and has a little more swing than “Very truly yours” or even “Yours truly.” I use it under almost all circumstances in business and social correspondence, although of course in the latter I use affectionate terms as well.

Dear Miss Vanderbilt: In sending a social letter to a retired Admiral (rear or vice) is it necessary to use the prefix in social address? If you don't know whether an Admiral is vice or rear, is it tactful to give him the higher office (vice) in writing and will just Admiral do for social correspondence?

In listing such officers on club stationery, etc…, do you use the title followed by U.S.N. (Ret.) or merely Ret.? The “Ret.” is not used in the telephone book, but perhaps they don't use the prefix either. G. F., Philadelphia.

IN YOUR first question, it is not necessary to use the prefix in social address. On your second question, use the higher title. For social corre- spondence, Admiral will do without a prefix of any kind. The form to use on your last question is U.S.N. (Ret.). In a telephone listing, although the Ret. is not used, the prefix is. – By Amy Vanderbilt, United Feature Syndicate Inc., 1967

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