Absurd Etiquette Rules vs Courtesy

‘‘Smile at me, nephews and nieces,” he resumed, “because I tuck my napkin under my chin. Yet why should I spoil my black broadcloth coat with turkey stains or smears of cranberry sauce? It Is a rule of etiquette, you say. that the napkin may only be placed across the knee—an absurd, ephemeral rule! – Public domain image of “The Gourmand,” by Henri Brispot

“Whether to eat fish with a fish knife and fork, or a fork and a bit of bread, whether to serve champagne in a tumbler or a goblet—it is quite absurd to regard one of these courses as right and the other as wrong and to admire or despise a person accordingly. The average rule of etiquette has nothing to do with courtesy, with good breeding, and it is no criterion of courtesy or of good breeding.” 

The speaker, an old fashioned gentleman from the country, knotted the ends of his napkin more firmly about his neck. ‘‘Smile at me, nephews and nieces,” he resumed, “because I tuck my napkin under my chin. Yet why should I spoil my black broadcloth coat with turkey stains or smears of cranberry sauce? It Is a rule of etiquette, you say. that the napkin may only be placed across the knee—an absurd, ephemeral rule! 

“It was a rule of etiquette in France during the reign of ‘The Sun King,’ the great Louis XIV., that when the King visited a sick subject, the King, too, must lie down in a bed on the ground, that it would never do for a subject to maintain a more informal attitude than his master during the audience. Louis XIV, visiting the Marshal de Villars after Malplaquet, lay in a bed beside the suffering soldier in that way. “Behold the absurdities of etiquette and let me do with my napkin what I please.” – Auburn Journal, 1909

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia