Etiquette for Dia de Los Muertos

When my mother passed away on October 31st a few years ago, my daughter’s mother in-law graciously invited her to place a photo of her grandmother, along with a bowl of strawberries, on the ofrenda in her home. It was a wonderful gesture. My daughter chose one of her favorite photos of my mother. An old photo of my mother playfully spitting watermelon seeds out at my father who was taking the photograph. (Though this is a favorite photograph, Etiquipedia does not approve of such behavior in public… Unless, of course, one is in a playful spirit and the photograph will not be posted online for the world to see for another 70 years or more later. It is a great example of ‘what not to do’!)

To observe Day of the Dead etiquette, visitors should remain respectful of the sacred and festive nature of the holiday by not dressing in costumes or using face paint, being mindful of their behavior in cemeteries, and avoiding invasive photography. Instead, guests can show respect by bringing offerings like flowers, pan de muerto, or candles, walking slowly, and being quiet and observant. When interacting, start with a smile and a greeting, and if invited to join or sit, you may be welcomed to share in the experience. 

Before you go make sure to research the local customs. Traditions vary from region to region, so learn about the specific practices in the area you will be visiting, before you go. Understand the spirit of the holiday. The Day of the Dead is a celebration of life and memory of those no longer with us. It is not a morbid or scary holiday like Halloween. 

• What should one bring and wear? Bring offerings for the Ofrenda. Bring a small offering of flowers (like marigolds), candles, or a piece of pan de muerto (Day of the Dead bread) to leave on a grave or altar. 
• Do dress respectfully.Do not wear costumes or face paint, as this is not part of the tradition and is considered culturally inappropriate. Observing the local dress is helpful. Pay attention to how local people are dressed and try to emulate the attire of those who the hold respect of others. 
• During the celebration remember to act respectfully and quietly. Treat cemeteries and altars as sacred spaces. Do not be loud or act drunkenly. 
• Interact with others with care: Walk slowly and be respectful. A simple smile and a friendly “hello,” can be a good way to start if you are invited to participate. 
• Avoid bringing alcoholic beverages, such as mezcal, into cemeteries. 
• Be mindful of photos and do not point your camera or take photos directly in someone's face. Ask for permission before taking a picture of someone. You can take panoramic photographs without feeling the need to ask.

The meaning of each day during
DIA DE LOS MUERTOS
October 27 - November 2

October 27
Remember all pets who have passed.
This originated from believing
Xoloitzcuintili could
guide their owners to the afterlife. 

October 28
Remember those who passed suddenly or tragically. It is believed that one’s lighting of a white candle can help their spirit in the cross over.

October 29
Honor forgotten souls.
Light a candle, so they too are remembered.

October 30
Remember all our Ancestors
"Great" Family members
Let us never forget who we are and the size of our family tree.

November 1
Remember all Children
Let us remember all the sweet & innocent souls we have lost in life. 

November 2
Dia de Los Muertos — Remember
all those who have passed away.

Information was given from a variety of sources.

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia