Gilded Age Etiquette Christian-Based

22. Leave your plate with the knife and fork lying parallel, the handles pointing to the right. – 
“The 12 o'clock and 6 o'clock or 5 and 11 are the official ‘Finished’ positions for one's knife and fork for American-style dining, but this Continental-style position seems to be universally recognized as the ‘Finished’ position for one's utensils. I recommend placing these as far to the right as possible on a plate. That way, when the server or waiter removes your plate, he or she can grasp the handles of the flatware at the same time as grasping the plate, and remove the three noiselessly from your right side. If sitting in a booth, and the only way that your plates can be removed is from your left side, a courtesy is to place the utensils together toward the left hand side of your plate. Etiquette rules can be flexible, especially when it comes to the consideration of others.” – Photo and text from the book, What Have We Here?: The Etiquette and Essentials of Lives Once Lived, from the Georgian Era through the Gilded Age and Beyond... by Etiquipedia Site Editor, Maura J. Graber

 RULES FOR TABLE ETIQUETTE

True politeness has its origin in Christian charity and kindness, and all standard rules of etiquette were founded for the greater convenience and happiness of all the members of society. Although the reasons may not be obvious at first sight, they exist, and will be apparent on a careful consideration.

1. Do not keep others waiting for you, either at the beginning or at the close of the meal.

2. Do not sip soup from the tip, but from the side of the spoon.

3. Be careful not to drop nor spill anything on the table cloth.

4. Keep your plate neat; do not heap all sorts of food on it at once.

5. In passing your plate to be re- helped, retain the knife and fork.

6. When asked for a dish, do not shove but hand it.

7. While drinking do not look around.

8. Instruct the servant to hand the cup at the left side, so that it may be received by the right hand.

9. Do not drink your tea or coffee without first removing the teaspoon from the cup to the saucer.

10. Use the knife for cutting only; never put it to the lips nor in the mouth.

11. Break your bread into small pieces and rest there on your plate while spreading.

12. Do not eat too fast. Besides giving one the appearance of greed, it is not healthy.

13. If you find anything disagreeable in your food put it aside as quietly as possible, without drawing the attention of any one to it.

14. Do not open the lips nor make any unnecessary noise in chewing.

15. Do not touch the head.

16. Do not rest the elbow on the table.

17. Do not speak with the mouth full.

18. Brush the table neatly before bringing on the dessert.

19. Be thoughtful and attentive to the wants of those about you.

20. Converse on pleasant subjects with those sitting near you.

21. Do not say anything not intended for all present to hear.

22. Leave your plate with the knife and fork lying parallel, the handles pointing to the right.

23. Never leave the table before others without asking the lady or gentleman who presides to excuse you. 

– Russian River Flag, 1871

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia