A Respiratory Etiquette Debate

The consensus of the etiquette experts is that a yawn or a sneeze is only one degree removed from the gravest of all social errors – eating peas with a knife. – Photo source, Pinterest 

WASHINGTON, Oct. 18– Just as the nation was moving safely out of the hay-fever season into winter's cold-in-the-head era, the question of the proper etiquette for sneezing arose today and split the ranks of the distinguished scholars who have studied the subject. It seems to be a clear-cut fight, winner take all, between Dr. Severance Burrage, professor of public health at the University of Colorado, on one side, and the United States Government and Mrs. Emily Post on the other. 

FAVORS SNEEZE 

Burrage came out flatly in favor of a good, healthy uninhibited sneeze. He went through a process which we Americans have come to refer to as hurling a defi at the Namby-Pamby persons who seem to stifle sneezes and yawns. The argument runs that as an expression of your personality, there is nothing like a leisurely 80-second yawn, which closes with a contented “ho hum.” Never suppress one; not even when the boss, just back from his vacation, tells you for the third time about the view from his hotel window and how he and the missus got the room for $5 a day dirt cheap, with meals included. But there is another point that Burrage wishes to hammer home:

“Influenza, pneumonia and other diseases often are caused by the contamination of food and utensils by food handlers whose fingers have been placed over the mouths to settle a sneeze or a yawn.” Stop shuddering, Mrs. Post, and just tell the court in your own words why you disagree with the doctor. The witness testifies that sneezes and yawns must be suppressed at any cost or the social fabric of the nation will collapse. The consensus of the etiquette experts is that a yawn or a sneeze is only one degree removed from the gravest of all social errors – eating peas with a knife. To the support of the etiquette experts rushes the United States public health service with a charming little essay on how influenza germs leap from yawn to yawn and from sneeze to sneeze. The author writes lyrically:

ONLY ONE VOICE

“True, I am only one voice, but I lift up that voice like a foghorn on a misty morning to protest against the habit of the tobacco clerks who dampen their fingers on their tongues and then serve a harmless customer with a package of cigarettes.” But the public health service goes even further. Not only does it want to suppress yawns and sneezes, but it wants to do something about kissing too. “The Chinese custom,” the essay continues, “of bowing and shaking one's own hand is far more desirable from a sanitary standpoint.” Begging your pardon, United States public health service, but the comment that comes readily to the mind is: “Kerchoo!” — By Harry Ferguson (United Press Correspondent), 1933

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia