Why Another Book of Etiquette

Run by Charlotte Hawkins Brown, the Palmer Memorial Institute in North Carolina, by the 1920’s was an established and successful boarding school. It attracted students from around the country. Brown gained national attention for her efforts there, and lecturing frequently at colleges throughout the United States, while receiving numerous honorary degrees. Several of her former students went on to become educators themselves . In 1941 she published the etiquette book, “The Correct Thing To Do – To Say – To Wear,” while committing many of her philosophies, her life lessons and her maxims in print. All the while, Brown was active in national efforts to improve opportunities for African Americans, including the Commission on Interracial Cooperation and the National Negro Business League. She was the first African American woman named to the national board of the YWCA. She was an honorary member of Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority. Brown continued to run the Palmer Memorial Institute until she retired in 1952.– Image of Charlottes Hawkins Brown from Wikimedia

INTRODUCTION

From the book, “The Correct Thing To Do – To Say – To Wear,” by Charlotte Hawkins Brown

Dear Friend:

“Of the making of books there is no end.” Then why, should another book of etiquette be added to the scores of those already on the market? Out of the hearts of a humble people has come the desire for recognition of those vital qualities of soul which they feel and cultivate from time to time, but are thwarted in their attempt to express for lack of the knowledge of the best means of expression. I write in answer to the hundreds of questions asked me by my own students, for many of my associates who give evidence of much learning without ease in their social approach to life.

The practice of fine manners is an art, but it should always be so natural that there be nothing of affectation about it. The habit of being one’s best self daily in the little courtesies at home, to those nearest to one, so establishes the individual’s expression of fine and gracious personality that meeting a stranger at any time has, for him or her, neither fear nor dread.

This little book which I send forth out of years of experience and observation is not intended to put one on his guard in company but rather to help one to know and practice the art of kindness, the art of graciousness, the art of expressing one's best self when alone, thus developing the habit of doing the correct thing without effort or apparent notice.

Some people are born with charm, that essential, airy, indescribable something without which all else sinks into insignificance in an attempt to establish in any measure our place in human society. However feminine the word “charm” in its essence, no man feels underrated when he is said to possess a personality of great charm.

This book offers no miracles for sudden metamorphosis. It does, however, set down certain definite principles upon which charm depends and by the practice of which a more desirable and pleasing personality may be achieved.

One studies to become efficient in music, versed in literature, and accepted in art. Versatility adds to one's ability to entertain, makes one more sought after and gives greater satisfaction to one's self in the larger activities that go to make up happy wholesome living. It adds greatly to one's admirers. So it is with the natural and unaffected practice of the social graces, little courtesies which combine thoughtfulness of others and forgetfulness of self into a unified and unconscious effort we create an atmosphere of happiness and contentment in pursuit of those things which keep life always on a high level.

I, therefore, offer my gratitude to the many friends of my childhood in the New England area who, in schools and homes teeming with cultural atmosphere, gave me an opportunity to observe the fine art of living.

To my mother first who taught me as a child in her own way, to be kind, polite and generous under all conditions and circumstances; to my teachers in the English High School at Cambridge, Massachusetts, who met the established attitude with greater interest in developing it to a higher level; to the inspiring and helpful friendship of Mrs. Osborn W. Bright, Mrs. Charles M. Connfelt, and Mrs. Charles S. Guthrie, all of New York City, who for more than twenty-five years gave themselves so untiringly in fellowship and understanding in the shaping of the ideals and policies of the cultural life of this institution; to the warm sympathetic interest of that first friend in this vicinity, who expressed belief in the possibility of achieving nobler ends for a minority group, Mrs. Charles D. McIver, of Greensboro, North Carolina; to Mrs. Galen L. Stone, of Brookline, Massachusetts, for her personal friendship through the years and her appreciation of my every endeavor to set up high standards without regard to race or creed evidenced in the large financial support given me; to the members of the faculty of the Palmer Memorial Institute, present and past, who have assisted in such research as was necessary to answer the many questions so persistently asked by our students.

Finally, but not less gratefully, I acknowledge the painstaking effort at research into the records of the teachings of the Palmer Memorial Institute, its established code of ethics, the various assembly and chapel talks, the quiet hours of discussion, the social program and the subsequent compilation and arrangement of this material by my assistant and collaborator, Miss Cecie R. Jenkins, without whose devoted service and continuing enthusiasm this effort might not have been achieved.

                                Sincerely yours, 

                                            CHARLOTTE HAWKINS BROWN.

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