Gilded Age Etiquette for “The Lady”

The cover of an 1889 “The Lady” Magazine.

“The Lady” was a British women’s magazine. It was published from 1885 until April of this year, 2025. It was marketed as being for “gentlewomen” and was known for its etiquette advice and articles. For over a century, the publication was a well regarded source of jobs for servants, butlers and household staff.

“SOMEONE has discovered that little women have strong wills and that big ones are yielding. He says that “The little helpless thing” is the most formidable creature in the world, certain to defeat the man in every encounter.” The Lady. Untrained daughters. 25th May 1899

"FOR those who only keep one servant there are three forms of entertaining – luncheons and teas for single ladies, and suppers for those who are married." The Lady. How to entertain. 25th May 1899

“IT is the doing of little things correctly that shows whether people are used or not used to the ways of society. It is the wife not the husband who has to keep up and extend their circle of friends and acquaintances, and it is her influence or popularity that may make or mar his career socially. The Lady. Chats on Etiquette. 21st July, 1898

"WHEN an intelligent woman makes up her mind to accomplish a thing, there are very few deeds which she cannot achieve."

The Lady. A Boarding-House for Ladies. 19th February, 1891

"TRUE hospitality means the doing and giving – freely and heartily – the best you can, and of the best you have." The Lady. Entertaining. 11th August, 1898  

"IF you accept hospitality from friends, you should return it in some form, however humble, and nice people will be just as pleased if you invite them to afternoon tea as to an elaborate dinner." The Lady. Household Management. 1899

"THE depression affects all alike, for it is needless to say that if one class suffers, all must more or less suffer with it, though many are too short-sighted to realise this." The Lady. Renumerative Employment. 12th January, 1888

“THE delicate shrinking from the gaze of the world is in a certain section of women becoming more and more rare; it is laughed at as prudish, or as a mark of stupidity and dullness.” The Lady. More About Women. 16th January, 1890

“EATING in public is a terrible ordeal to many people, and it is certain one can judge more of a person’s social training at a first interview than by observing him at a table than in any other way.” The Lady. American Ways Of Eating. 16th January, 1890

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