The 1980’s Etiquette Elegance Revival

Elegance in entertaining returned to the White House in the 1980’s - State dinners had become so large by Ronald Reagan's presidency that none of the china  sets could accommodate the number of guests. First Lady Nancy Reagan ordered 4,370 pieces of Lenox china, enough place settings of 19 pieces each, for 220 people. This was nearly twice as many placesettings as other recent services. The Reagans wanted a design that would display a strong presence for the subtly colored State Dining Room, now painted white. Nancy Reagan worked closely with Lenox designers to create a pattern with bands in a striking scarlet red, which was her favorite color. The pattern was bordered on each side with etched gold, which created a sparkling contrast with the soft ivory china. The presidential seal was in raised gold in the center, partially overlaying the red border. On pieces such as the service and dessert plates, fine gold crosshatching overlays the red. The Reagans were often criticized for the $209,508 cost, but the china was not funded by taxpayers. It was paid for by the J.P. Knapp Foundation.

Fashions In Etiquette Swing Back To Elegance

A whole new generation harkens to the age-old admonition. “Mind your manners.”

“Certainly there has been a big upswing of interest in manners. courtesy, etiquette, call it what you will, these last few years,” said Elizabeth Post, social arbiter. “Just as in fashion apparel, the pendulum swings. Now the direction in manners is back to elegance.”

Mrs. Post is the granddaughter-in-law of Emily Post, whose name was synonymous with proper behavior and the rules of etiquette.

“Oh, I don't mean we will go back to the Victorian era,” said Elizabeth Post, who became an authority on decorum in her own right. “Many of the old rules are impractical now. We seem to be seeking a happy medium.”

Young parents, who saw or perhaps were part of the rebellion against everything traditional in the 1960s, want to teach their children about manners almost forgotten during that period, and after.

“I see the swing in many ways,” Mrs. Post said. “Schools again hold proms. Twenty years ago, the prom was a no-no. I see it in my mail. my telephone calls, articles in magazines, just in the general interest.”

Mrs. Post could have added that she saw the change, too, in the proliferation of etiquette advisers catering to the young. Several now conduct workshops for young people, to teach manners of dress, meeting people. manners at the table, on the telephone, on the dance floor.

She is among those in the act, holding “summer camps” during August at The Breakers, a luxury hotel in Palm Beach, Fla. There are two age groups - 8 to 10, and 11 to 14.

“The Breakers approached me about the workshops,” she said. The hotel, built by Henry Flagler during his heyday as a Florida real estate developer, dreamed up a vacation package that included parents and children.

The manners sessions are an hour each day and embrace personal appearance, the art of conversation, mealtime manners, behavior in public (theater, travel, sports), dress, telephone manners and such details as writing thank-you notes.

The swing back to being proper, but not prissy, is caused by many factors, Mrs. Post said. There is just the natural move away from the extremes of the 1960s, the gradual uplifting of the economy, and specifically the example set by the current White House occupants.

“The president and his family set a standard,” said Mrs. Post. “There is more entertaining at the White House, more formal occasions.”

One reason for workshops is the fact that parents want their children to know the rules of the road, as it were, but don't have the time to drill them constantly. “Working mothers simply can't be there all the time.” she said. “And children take instruction better from someone other than parents anyway. I would hope that parents teach the basics of ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’ but by the age of 8, most children are ready for manners in public.”

Elizabeth Post and her husband, William, are directors of the Emily Post Institute, an umbrella title for all the projects in which they are active.

Periodically, they revise the various etiquette books. She also is a contributing editor for Good Housekeeping magazine, is busy on the lecture circuit, does promotion, and also serves as an etiquette consultant.

The Posts live on an old farm at Waterbury Center, Vt. They have four children. all married, and eight grandchildren. She's an avid golfer and both are expert scuba divers. They planned to get in some diving while in Florida for opening of The Breakers' workshops.

Mrs. Post said etiquette really doesn’t change; it's a basic code of behavior. Manners, as the means of etiquette, do change. They are “a practical or attractive way of doing something.” she said, in a telephone interview. “They smooth the path among people. They make you more attractive to others.” - By Gay Pauley, UPI Senior Editor, 1983

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia