Etiquette and a Bicycle for Two

Augustus nearly had a fit; how such things must amaze! This dreadful breach of etiquette would haunt him all his days! And to his love that night he vowed, by all his hopes of heaven, With her again he would not ride…

BALLAD OF THE BIKE

Augustus was a nice young man, in style quite up to date; Considered an authority in fashions new and late; And in the course of time he did as all young men will do, He met and loved a charming girl, whose name was Helen Drew.

Augustus had a wheel, of course, and often went to ride; He thought he was in Paradise with Helen by his side. Until one day his sweetheart said: “As sure as I'm alive, My wheel goes just as fast as yours, and mine's a '95!”

Augustus nearly had a fit; how such things must amaze! This dreadful breach of etiquette would haunt him all his days! And to his love that night he vowed, by all his hopes of heaven, With her again he would not ride till she bought a '97.

Both lovers lost their temper, and some bitter words were said: He swore she had no feeling, and she wished that she were dead: But finally they compromised, forgot their words at random, Got married and exchanged their wheels for a '97 tandem. – New York Sun, 1897

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia