Post Civil War Washington DC Society

“Only a short time ago a fierce war was raging between the wives of Supreme Judges and those of Senators, each side contending for the precedence. After a whole winter’s contention, it was decided that both combatants should stand upon the same round of the social ladder.” – At some point between 1869 and 1877, according to the etiquette authorities of the era, the wives of the Supreme Court Justices stood alone at the top of precedence. The wife of the Chief Justice was at that time considered to be the First Lady of the United States, as the position of the U.S. President was essentially a temporary position. Supreme Court Justices have their jobs for life. A journalist took liberty with the title of First Lady in 1877, however, setting off a chain reaction of rebukes by those etiquette authorities in newly published etiquette books of the day. – Image (source- Find a Grave) of  Mr. & Mrs. (Amelia Champlin Warner) Morrison Waite. Morrison Waite was the 7th Chief Justice of the United States’ Supreme Court, from 1874 to 1888, which made Amelia Waite the actual First Lady in Washington D.C. at the time.

The Post Civil War Social Caste in Washington D.C.

The time has been, when our government was a small infant, that there was a fusion of the elements that go to make up what is called society here; but that time has passed away quite as completely as the domestic manners of dear Mrs. Madison. Lines and dots mark the social map as rigid and well defined in meaning as those that stand for the cities and towns on the geographical atlas. A Senator's wife stands on a point elevated above a member’s wife, and the chasm between them can no more be crossed than the celebrated river Styx. To picture this amiable fact, we will cite an actual occurrence in illustration. This little passage of arms came off between the wives of a Senator and a member, both of the husbands hailing from the Western part of the Union; but while the Senator is so small that he is lost in Congress like a needle in the hay, the member is one of the great political lights of the country, though, alas! alas! this significant fact could not help the matter.

The member's wife committed a grave error; in other words, she perpetrated a fearful mistake. She undertook to play with the social dice, and the dear little warm-hearted Illinois woman lost. What did she do? Listen, ye fates! She invited the Senator’s wife “to come and spend an evening socially with her.” She forgot the gulf that separates a Senator’s wife from a member’s. She forgot that she had only a two years’ lien on the public notice, while the woman she insulted held fast to the political plank six years from beginning to end. But this social rupture was speedily settled according to the code of fashionable life. 

The Senator's wife told her own dear “set” about the vicious faux pas, and the member’s unfortunate wife received sentence accordingly. In the capitals of all great nations the rules of etiquette are strictly enforced. The President and his family are lifted above the sentence accordingly. The President and his family are lifted above the sea of ceremony; and while everybody, from the Chief Justice to the least fraction of a ragged newsboy, can pay a visit to the White House, nothing is to be expected in return.

The masses can also pay visits of ceremony to the wives of Senators and members upon their reception days, but those dainty dames are not expected to make any returns for these civilities. In no case would a Senator’s wife call upon the wife of a member first; but etiquette peremptorily commands Mrs. Senator to return the call at a certain specified time. Some times one or both of these visits are made by card, these solemn facts at the time appearing to have no effect whatever upon the General Government. 

The wife of a Senator struck a key-note when she said: “If a member’s wife wants anything of me, she must come where I am.” In old feudal times, these little matters used to be settled by blood. Only a short time ago a fierce war was raging between the wives of Supreme Judges and those of Senators, each side contending for the precedence. After a whole winter’s contention, it was decided that both combatants should stand upon the same round of the social ladder. –Washington Correspondent, 1869

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia