Gilded Age Dining Etiquette’s Evolution

Above is a Gilded Age, sterling pie server in the “Love Disarmed” pattern, featuring Venus holding Cupid. This was one of the most, if not the most, stunning of the Gilded Age silver patterns, the design was patented in 1899.

At the Modern “Swell” Dinner:

Gilded Age Dining Etiquette’s Evolution

The serving or “place” plates, as they are often designated, are the most beautiful and costly used throughout the entire dinner. Present form permits these to be put at each cover when the table is laid, the plates for the two first courses (oysters and soup) resting upon them. They are then removed, having served their purpose as ornamental.

At the left of the plate is the napkin, within its folds the dinner roll. Directly in front of the plate is the individual salt, now (small as it is) an appointment of great beauty and expense. Sometimes it is a cut glass boat on silver waves, the salt spoon posing as an oar; again a half open crystal rose on a leaf of the wonderful Russian enamel. The water goblet and wine glasses stand at the right and are either grouped or “spiked,” which means placed in a row diagonally out from the plate, beginning with the largest and ending with the tiny glass for cordial. Thus arranged, under artificial light they take up and flash back the rays with great brilliancy, making them very ornamental

It is now the rule to use a fork instead of spoon wherever possible, so that the latter is almost banished from the modern table. Each course, however, requires a particular fork, making it a fine point with the uninitiated to determine between then when laid in a long row beside the cover. From this probably the method now adopted, which saves many mistakes and consequent embarrassment. When the table is laid the fish, meat and entree forks are placed at the left of each cover, at the right the meat knife, soup spoon, a smaller knife and the oyster fork. For all courses which follow the roast, the silver for each is passed on a tray just before it is served.

After the dessert, or “service of sweets,” as it is now termed, after dinner coffee, fruit and finger bowls are brought on. The coffee is put at the right and the finger bowl at the left of the fruit plate, the fruit knife and fork passed on the tray. In England butter is never used at dinner and seldom of late years this side of the water. If served, a tiny pat or ball on an individual butter plate is put in front of each cover.

Besides the foregoing items of correct service, “Table Talk” says as to dinner etiquette: The refusal of wine needs no excuse. A look at the waitress will answer the same purpose as a temperance lecture and will be in better taste. It is bad form to refuse a course, however distasteful it may be. It is courtesy to the hostess to take, taste and trifle with it until removed rather than attract attention by declining it.

The little after dinner coffee spoon, when not in use, is placed at the right of the cup in the saucer. Dip the soup spoon from you in the plate and lift the side toward you (never the point) to the lips if an accident occurs (an overturned glass or the breakage of some piece of glass or china), express regret, but do not overwhelm yourself or the hostess with apologies. – The Napa Daily Journal, 1899

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia