Twain’s Etiquette Advice to Kaiser

Another tale and take of Mark Twain’s on etiquette.  
– Public domain image of  Mark Twain

 

Why Mark Twain Didn’t Talk at the Kaiser’s Table

A couple of days ago a gentleman called upon me with a message (from the German Emperor). The wording of the message to me was, “Convey to Mr. Clemens my kindest regards. Ask him if he remembers that dinner and ask him why he didn't do any talking.”

Why how could I talk while he was talking? “He held the age.” as the poker-clergy say, and two can’t talk at the same time with good effect. It reminds me of the man who was reproached by a friend, who said: “I think it a shame that you have not spoken to your wife for fifteen years. How do you explain it? How do you justify it?”

That poor man said: “I didn't want to interrupt her.”

If the Emperor had been at my table, he would not have suffered from my silence, he would only have suffered from the sorrows of his own solitude. If I were not too old to travel I would go to Berlin and introduce the etiquette of my own table, which tallies with the etiquette observable at other royal tables. 

I would say: “Invite me again. Your Majesty, and give me a chance”; then I would courteously waive rank and do all the talking myself. I thank His Majesty for his kind message, and am proud to have it and glad to express my sincere reciprocation of its sentiments.- From Mark Twain's Autobiography, in the North American Review for March 15, 1907

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia