Early Rules of White House Etiquette

“Mrs. Monroe refused to permit relatives to appear at social affairs in the President's mansion on account of their failure to come in small clothes and silk stockings. An edict from Mrs. Monroe decreed that no visitor would be permitted to be seated in her presence.”
~ James Monroe served from 1817 to 1825, as the 5th president of the United States 
— Public domain image of James Monroe

Bypaths of History

What rules of White House etiquette, which still prevail to more or less extent, were established by the wives of Presidents James Monroe and John Quincy Adams?

Social customs prevailing at the White House are a result of long precedents. Those customs which prevent the President and his wife from making private calls, while occupying the White House, and which determined the places at the dining table, had their origins back in the times of Presidents James Monroe and John Quincy Adams. Both of these executives had spent years in the courts of Europe and hence were acquainted with the social customs prevailing there. Even the daughters of President Monroe refused to return calls made by the ladies of foreign embassies.

Both the Monroe girls had spent their younger days in the court circles of France. When their father became President, they married into prominent families. The older daughter married a George Hay of Virginia and he was appointed to a judgeship by President John Quincy Adams. When the younger daughter, Maria, married Lawrence Gouverneur, of New York, President Adams appointed him to the postmastership of New York City. While their father was President both girls and their husbands lived in the White House. The sons-in-law acted as private secretaries to President Monroe.

The rigid etiquette which prevailed at the White House under both the above-named chief executives, was severely criticized. Mrs. Monroe refused to permit relatives to appear at social affairs in the President's mansion on account of their failure to come in small clothes and silk stockings. An edict from Mrs. Monroe decreed that no visitor would be permitted to be seated in her presence.

Another cause for criticism of this First Lady was that she wore an ornamental gold comb which resembled a crown. Upon the death of the elder daughter's husband, she moved to Europe and joined the Catholic Church. Pope Gregory XVI sent her a fine bracelet with cameo setting of the head of Christ. 

When she died she was buried in France. After the expiration of the term of Monroe's presidency, he was so heavily involved that most of his property was sold for debt. He died July 4, 1831, at the home of his daughter in New York City.—By Guy S. Allison, San Pedro News Pilot, October 1947

  🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia