Etiquette for Manor House Servants

Lord, help the Tweeny! The pecking order and “who’s who” of domestic service in the grand, aristocratic houses of the British. Poor manners and classism recommended in “The Laws of Etiquette,” from 1836. No wonder the author wanted to remain anonymous, and simply calls himself “A Gentleman.”:
“When women appear at the door of the coach to obtain admittance, it is a matter of some question to know exactly what conduct it is necessary to pursue. If the women are servants, or persons in a low rank of life, I do not see upon what ground of politeness or decency you are called upon to yield your seat. Etiquette, and the deference due to ladies have, of course, no operation in the case of such persons. Chivalry -- (and the gentleman is the legitimate descendant of the knight of old) — was ever a devotion to rank rather than to sex. Don Quixote, or Sir Piercy Shafestone would not willingly have given place to servant girls. And upon considerations of humanity and regard to weakness, the case is no stronger. Such people have nerves considerably more robust than you have, and are quite as capable of riding backwards, or the top, as yourself.”

Many aristocrats could afford a large team of live-in servants at their country estate, and there was a distinct social hierarchy in the servants’ quarters.

According to Dr. Lucy Delap, director of studies in history at St. Catharine's College, Cambridge, servant status was reinforced at mealtimes.

“There would be a strict order of coming in to eat and strict rules about where different ranks of servants sit, and you might also have rules such as no speaking unless you were addressed by one of the senior servants,” says Delap.

“The senior servants had a great deal of power, so the butler for example in some households would put down his knife and fork, and everyone else had to fit in whether you had finished or not. So servants had to learn to be fast eaters.”

The Butler - in charge of the house, coachmen and footmen. He looked after the family and the wine cellar

The Housekeeper - responsible for the housemaids and carried the keys to the china and linen cupboards

The Ladies Maid - the mistress of the house's personal attendant, helping her to dress and do her hair

The Valet - the master's manservant, attending to his requests and preparing his clothes and shaving tools

The Cook - ran the kitchen and larder, overseeing the kitchen, dairy and scullery maids

The Governess- educated and cared for the children with the head and under nurse

The Hallboy - worked 16-hour days, lighting all the lamps and candles and polishing the staff boots before they woke up

The Tweeny - was the in-between stairs maid, earned £13 a year, worked seven days a week from 5am-10pm and looked after slop duty.

Main article by Lucy Wallis for BBC News, published 21 September 2012

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia