Etiquette and Bachelor Hospitality

The Edwardian era bachelor – “… the most independent of creatures.”

THE day is past when the bachelor is supposed to have no home, no mode of entertaining his friends, no lares and penates, and no "ain fireside." He is now an independent householder, keeping house if he choose to do so, with a corps of efficient servants, presided over by a competent house-keeper, or, in a simpler manner having a small apartment of his own, attended by a man-servant or maid, if he takes his meals in his apartment. Oftener, however, he prefers to dispense with housekeeping cares and live in a tiny apartment of two or three rooms, going out to a restaurant for his meals. He is then the most independent of creatures. 

If he can afford to have a man to take care of his rooms and his clothes, well and good. If not, he pays a woman to come in regularly to clean his apartment, and she takes charge of his bed-making and dusting or, if he be very deft, systematic and industrious, he does this kind of thing himself. In any of the cases just cited he is at liberty to entertain. 

He may have an afternoon tea, or a reception, or an after-theater chafing-dish supper. Unless he has his own suite of dining-room, kitchen and butler’s pantry, he cannot serve a regular meal in his rooms. But there are many informal, Bohemian affairs to which he can invite his friends. For the after-theater supper, for instance, he may engage a man to assist him and to have everything in readiness when the host and his party arrive at the apartment. The host, himself, will prepare the chafing-dish dainty, and with this may be passed articles supplied by a near-by caterer, such as sandwiches, ices and cakes. He may make his own coffee in a Vienna coffee-pot. The whole proceeding is delightful, informal and Bohemian in the best sense of the word.

A sine qua non to all bachelor entertaining is a chaperon. The married woman cannot be dispensed with on such occasions. The host may be gray-headed and old enough to be a grandfather many times over, but, as an unmarried man, he must have a chaperon for his women guests. If he object to this, he must reconcile himself to entertaining only those of his own sex. The age of this essential appendage to the social party makes no difference, so long as the prefix "Mrs." is attached to her name. She may be a bride of only a few weeks' standing, but the fact that she is married is the essential.

The host, then, first of all, engages his chaperon, asking her as a favor to assist him in his hospitable efforts. She should accept graciously, but the man will show by his manner that he is honored by her undertaking this office for him. She must be promptly at his rooms at the hour mentioned, as it would be the height of impropriety for one of the young women to arrive there before the matron. If she prefer she may accompany a bevy of the girls invited. 

To her the host defers, from her he asks advice, and to her he pays special deference. If there is tea to be poured, as at an afternoon function, it is she who is asked to do it, and she may, with a pretty air of assuming responsibility, manage affairs somewhat as if in her own home, still remembering that she is a guest. In this matter, tact and a knowledge of the ways of the world play a large part. The chaperon is bound to remain until the last girl takes her departure, after which it is quite en règle for the host to offer his escort, unless she accompanies the last guest, or a carriage be awaiting her. The host thanks her cordially for her kind offices, and she in turn expresses herself as honored by the compliment he has paid her.— Marion Harland’s Complete Etiquette, 1905

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