Pakistani Culture and Etiquette

Pakistan is a place of mystery to many, yet I have found it to be a place of curiosity and old world wonder that is emerging into the spotlight of global recognition.

The partition of British India in August of 1947 resulted in the birth of two separate nations, Pakistan and India, with Pakistan comprising two geographically and culturally distinct regions: West Pakistan, now known as the Islamic Republic of Pakistan and East Pakistan, now known as the People's Republic of Bangladesh. With this separation of the newly formed Pakistan, nearly a century ago, citizens had the liberty to indelibly grow culturally. 

Pakistani hospitality is renowned worldwide. Guests are treated with the utmost respect and warmth. It's customary for hosts to go above and beyond to ensure their guests feel welcomed and comfortable. I can vouch for this fact as I had married into a Pakistani family from one of its larger cities. Here is what you need to know when being invited to a Pakastani home.

It's polite to bring a small gift, such as sweets, nuts, dates, or flowers, or if you have flown in from another country, then something different that may not be found in Pakistan. When giving the gift to your host, hand it over with two or right hands, from woman to woman or man to man. Avoid gifting alcoholic drinks or products that contain non-halal items. Consider when you are being invited, clothing will change from day to night and on other specific occasions. Also, contemplate the city you are visiting, as each city in Pakistan has its dress code. 

For example, Karachi is a modern city; therefore, you will see women wearing jeans and joggers. Islamabad will vary as it's known as the ambassadorial area where semi-formal office wear is the norm mixed with traditional dress. Lahore is an older and more conservative city and, therefore, the traditional three-piece suit for women and semi-casual for men. Check-in with your host on what to wear, and always remember to dress modestly.

Before you leave your hotel or accommodation, you must understand that time can be flexible or rigid. Time is rigid if the host is currently serving in the military. Military families are well accustomed to being on time and the value of not wasting it. When you arrive at the host's house, remember to remove your shoes before entering the home because the roads are dusty and unsealed. Upon arriving, stand to greet a person when they enter a room. Greet the elders first with a polite "Assalam-o-Alaikum" and accept their blessings if they offer it. A blessing might be a hand on the front part of your head. Once you enter you are sitting it's vital that your compliment your hosts exterior or interior of the house, it will win you many bonus points for being observant and complimentary.

Depending on the family's views which could be conservative or modern, yourself and your partner maybe escorted away from each other into two rooms, one for men and one for women. Or you will be invited to sit down with the family to eat and enjoy time together in one room. You could be seated on a lounge or floor; remember to cross your legs or lean to the side with the sole of your foot facing the wall, never outstretched in front of you.

Likely, there will be children running around from room to room, it’s imperative to ask the welfare of children and talk over five minutes or more about each of them. Pakistanis put immense value on children in the family unit and are a great source of pride and joy. During the event, you will be peppered with personal questions. This is because it is a way to get to know you so they can hierarchically place you according to their social system. Questions could range from your family's background and your own family. What do you do for work, which university do you attend, and so on? I advise you to be prepared and answer respectfully; you in turn, will be able to ask the same type of questions as they value the questions importance.

For many years, Etiquipedia contributor, Elizabeth Soos, has had a keen interest in cultural customs. With her European background and extensive travel, Soos developed an interest in the many forms of respect and cultural expectations in the countries she has visited. With her 20 years’ experience in customer service within private international companies based in Australia, and her lifetime interest in manners and research, she decided to branch out into the field of etiquette and deportment. Through her self-directed studies and by completing the Train-The-Trainer’s course offered by Emma Dupont’s School of Etiquette in London and by Guillaume Rue de Bernadac at Academie de Bernadac based in Paris and Shanghai, she founded Auersmont School of Etiquette. Elizabeth is currently traveling throughout India and brushing up on her Hindi.

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia